All The Ulta Beauty Self-Care & Beauty Steals We’re Currently Indulging In
This article is in partnership with Ulta Beauty.
Now more than ever, self-care is proving to be the essence of a life well-lived. As Black women, we often forget how vital it is to take the time to pour into ourselves in order to move through the world in the true power of our highest selves. While practices like meditation and lighting a candle are excellent ways for us to maintain our peace, it is equally important to find ways to radically practice self-care through acts of pampering and indulgence. What better way to indulge than to give your beauty and skincare routine a revamp. Enter, Ulta Beauty's 21 Days Of Beauty that is bringing us all the self-care energy we deserve!
From August 30 through September 19, the name of the game is self-care and Ulta Beauty has us covered with a lineup of daily Beauty Steals®. With their famed bi-annual event, daily Beauty Steals are Ulta Beauty's way of allowing beauty lovers to try new products that might have always been on their wish list at a fraction of the price (hello, bad and boujee on a budget). There's nothing like the therapeutic act of applying a new winged eyeliner or a rejuvenating face mask can have you feeling bomb while looking bomb.
Given our current life and times, it's the exact kind of pampering our days are calling for. Thankfully, Ulta Beauty is also providing us with a plethora of ways to shop. We can do so in store, online, in the app, or even curbside pickup. Keep in mind that highlighted beauty steals are only valid for a 24-hour window on the designated days. Are your carts ready? Let's get it!
Check out everything new and covet-worthy from Ulta Beauty's 21 Days Of Beauty event below:
Week 1 Beauty Steals
Day 1: Sunday, August 30
Benefit Cosmetics Precisely My Brow Pencil
Ulta Beauty
The Benefit Cosmetics Precisely My Brow Pencil is the definition of the mantra "my brow, but better" and is key to a defined brow. As a fan fave, this brow pencil is ideal for giving sparse brows the ultimate assist with a custom goof-proof tip and a smudge-resistant formula. As a beauty steal, the brow pencil is 50% off at a sale price of $12.
Foreo Luna Mini 2
Ulta Beauty
High-tech meets skincare with the Foreo Luna Mini 2. This device offers a gentle cleanse which is great for those with a sensitive skin type. However, the beauty steal doesn't sacrifice effectiveness, as it emits 8,000 pulsations per minute for a truly deep clean. And for a sale price of $59.50, our pores are already singing its praises.
Day 2: Monday, August 31
Murad AHA/BHA Exfoliating Cleanser
Ulta Beauty
Do you have trouble with dark spots or hyperpigmentation? Get you an acid, sis! The Murad AHA/BHA Exfoliating Cleanser acts as a chemical exfoliant, gently exfoliating the surface of the skin to reveal brighter, more even-toned skin over time. In addition to consisting of a trio of acids (salicylic, lactic and glycolic) to help with skin tone and texture, the intensive triple-action cleanser also includes Jojoba skin-polishing beads to deeply clean pores while smoothing away dry and dull skin. New complexion, who dis?
Murad Essential-C Cleanser
Ulta Beauty
The Murad Essential C-Cleanser is an antioxidant-rich cleanser that consists of a vitamin-rich formula that rehydrates your skin with the moisture it didn't know it needed. Even while inside of the house, thanks to social distancing season, your skin can be impacted by its fair share of impurities, and let's not get started on the dreaded 'maskne' some of us have become susceptible to. This 50% off beauty steal also helps to protect skin from harmful UVA/UVB rays and free-radical damage while replenishing dry skin with the moisture it craves.
Day 3: Tuesday, September 1
bareMinerals Mineral Veil
Ulta Beauty
Looking for a more airbrushed finish to your go-to makeup look of choice? Well, this finishing powder is the beauty steal every makeup aficionado should have in their arsenal. The bareMinerals Mineral Veil is a special blend of minerals that help absorb any excess oil daring to infringe upon the perfect face beat. In its wake, it makes for a soft focus finish that's the matte finish most of us live for.
A first-time steal to the 21 Days Of Beauty line-up, Mario Badescu Regimen Kits are no stranger to the list of Ulta Beauty fan favorites. The regimen kits address a variety of skin concerns, from combo/oily to brightening. The Mario Badescu Brightening Regimen Kit contains products like the Glycolic Foaming Cleanser, the Alpha Grapefruit Cleansing Lotion, the Vitamin C Serum, and the Whitening Mask. The Mario Badescu Combo/Oily Regimen Kit contains products like the Enzyme Cleansing Gel, Cucumber Cleansing Lotion, Aloe Moisturizer, and the Flower & Tonic Mask.
Day 4: Wednesday, September 2
SeroVital HGH Dietary Supplement
Ulta Beauty
SeroVital HGH Dietary Supplement helps boost the body's ability to naturally produce the human growth hormone, otherwise known as hGH. For those of us over the age of 25, we might want to get in formation and incorporate this in our routine. In addition to helping reduce wrinkles, the human growth hormone is associated with increasing your energy, improving mood and sleep, boosting your mental acuity, and decreasing body fat. SeroVital helps with checking off the boxes of all of the above. So yes, you need this.
Day 5: Thursday, September 3
Urban Decay All Nighter Waterproof Setting Powder
Ulta Beauty
This product is the truth when it comes to prolonging your makeup look. Urban Decay All Nighter Waterproof Setting Powder is known to do exactly that: last all night. With its matte finish, the setting powder is celebrated for being able to prevent shine from oil, give the skin a smooth look, and extend the life of your foundation for up to 11 hours, no reapplying needed. Let's just say, we're sold.
Day 6: Friday, September 4
Lancome Monsieur Big Mascara
Ulta Beauty
Lancome Monsieur Big Mascara is a fan fave because it gives you enviable lashes for days. Emphasis on 'days'. As a long-lasting, intensely black pigmented mascara, 'big' proves to definitely be in. With one swipe, the ultra-creamy Lancome Monsieur pumps up the volume times 12, providing your eyelashes with a 'falsies' look with the glue or faux lashes. Plus, the waterproof, smudge-proof formula also comes with 24-hour staying power. Need we say more?
Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench Cloud Serum
Ulta Beauty
Get your skin on wet-wet with Peter Thomas Water Drench Cloud Serum. It's the serum among serums. This product contains 75% Hyaluronic Acid Complex which allows it to act as a potent hydrator, with the equivalent of a liquid cloud filled with moisture. This product will provide your skin with long-lasting hydration with staying power of up to 72 hours.
Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench Toner Mist
Ulta Beauty
Just like its companion product, the Cloud Serum, Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench Toner Mist is the skin refresher you've been looking for. It rejuvenates the skin while offering an instant refresher, thanks to its Hyaluronic Acid Complex. The Toner Mist clarifies, hydrates, and moisturizes the skin, creating a more youthful, poreless complexion.
Day 7: Saturday, September 5
Tarte Shape Tape Glow Wand
Ulta Beauty
The Tarte Shape Tape Glow Wand is a liquid brightener that helps you create the appearance of an eye lift without a single nip, tuck, or filler. And it does so with a soft-focus finish. Formulated with a proprietary diamond complex that provides the product with its extra oomph, this first-time beauty steal also has the added bonus of being vegan, baby.
Tula Brighten Up Smoothing Primer Gel
Ulta Beauty
It's prime time that you stocked up on this primer. The Tula Brighten Up Smoothing Primer Gel is a silicone-free, yuzu-packed priming gel that brightens the skin and binds to your makeup without clogging your pores. It does this while giving your skin a burst of a cooling, refreshed sensation.
Week 2 Beauty Steals
Day 8: Sunday, September 6
Anastasia Beverly Hills Luminous Foundation
Ulta Beauty
The Anastasia Beverly Hills Luminous Foundation is a first-time steal during the 21 Days Of Beauty event. This foundation formula is lightweight, offers medium coverage, and has a shade range of over 50 shades -- hello, melanin! Anastasia might be known for her coveted brow pencil and pomade, but her Luminous Foundation is truly one to be coveted by any beauty-lover.
Perricone MD Cold Plasma Plus+
Ulta Beauty
Perricone MD Cold Plasma Plus+ is a multi-tasking skincare collection dedicated to promoting healthier, more youthful-looking skin. The collection consists of an array of skincare treatments targeting the face, neck, eyes, and chest. The powerhouse products have the capability of meeting your unique skincare needs as well as addressing concerns like fine lines and uneven texture.
Day 9: Monday, September 7
Too Faced Natural Palettes
Ulta Beauty
Who said natural had to be boring? Too Faced Natural Palettes is shedding a new light to the richness of a good nude. Understated but never dull, these rich and pigmented face and eye palettes allow you to stunt and emphasize the warmth of your melanin.
Dermablend Loose Setting Powders
Ulta Beauty
These setting powders are a weightless, translucent powder that is the perfect punctuation to any makeup look. Formulated to lock in concealer and foundation flawlessly, Dermablend Loose Setting Powders have staying power for a total of up to 16 hours. The finish is flawless, smudge-proof, and transfer-resistant. No touch-ups necessary.
Day 10: Tuesday, September 8
Select Faux-Mink Lashes
Ulta Beauty
A dope pair of lashes can provide quite the boost when it comes to looking and feeling good. And today only, Ulta Beauty is giving you a few reasons to bat your lashes. From Lilly Lashes and House of Lashes to Blinking Beaute and Velour Lashes, Ulta Beauty is offering a wide array of faux lashes that add length and volume for 50% off.
Day 11: Wednesday, September 9
BECCA Primers
Ulta Beauty
When it comes to perfecting makeup looks, in order to create your best look, you need to start with a proper canvas. The smoother your skin looks and feels, the better. BECCA Primers are a great way to help mimic those circumstances for your best FOTD yet. The vegan primers that can be used to mattify the skin and blur the appearance of pores all while helping your makeup to last all day.
Day 12: Thursday, September 10
IT Cosmetics Confidence in an Eye Cream
Ulta Beauty
Looking to diminish the appearance of lines and wrinkles under the eyes? IT Cosmetics Confidence in an Eye Cream might be the slice of skincare heaven you've been looking for. The product caters to the most delicate skin on the face with promises to rejuvenate your eyes, helping you say goodnight to tired eyes for good and giving your confidence a boost along the way.
Cover FX Monochromatic Blush & Bronzer Duos
Ulta Beauty
Richly pigmented palette? Check. Consciously created product? Double-check. Cover FX Monochromatic Blush & Bronzer Duos features a pressed palette composed of both shimmer and matte shades. The lightweight talc-free product delivers a delicate but impactful pop of color in a seamless application.
Day 13: Friday, September 11
Urban Decay 24/7 Eyeliners
Ulta Beauty
Urban Decay 24/7 Eyeliners are an Ulta Beauty fan fave, and we know why. Their creamy, waterproof eyeliners are as foolproof as they are vibrant. In terms of application, the liners go on smooth and stay soft to blend, but when they dry, they stay put for a long-lasting finish of up to 24 hours. The liners come in 24 shades, allowing you to choose to showcase your mood across a variety of colors.
Philosophy Ultimate Miracle Worker SPF 30 Moisturizer
Ulta Beauty
Sunscreen is one of the many ways to ensure that your black never cracks. In recent years, the old myth of black people not needing sunscreen has dissipated to make way for skincare practices that will ensure we protect ourselves from harmful environmental damage, like that of UV rays. Philosophy Ultimate Miracle Worker SPF 30 Moisturizer is a groundbreaking multi-rejuvenating cream that hydrates the skin while protecting it and defending it against the elements.
Day 14: Saturday, September 12
Mario Badescu Grab and Go Duo
Ulta Beauty
The Mario Badescu Grab and Go Duo is an exclusive Ulta Beauty steal and also happens to be a fan favorite among consumers. The drying lotion and facial spray combo is a necessity to cop for anyone seeking to obtain or maintain clear, glowing skin on the go. Keep your breakouts at bay with this power-packed duo.
Week 3 Beauty Steals
Day 15: Sunday, September 13
Too Faced Hangover Primer
Ulta Beauty
It's prime time to invest in a primer that is as replenishing as it is smoothing. And for those of us looking to level up our makeup looks while pouring into our glow game, the Too Faced Hangover Primer might be the Ulta Beauty steal of your derams. This primer is a fan favorite for a reason, as it hydrates and brightens your skin, promotes your skin's tone and elasticity, and soothes while it smooths. It manages to do all of this while making your skin the perfect canvas for your foundation. This primer will have you looking like you've been minding your business and drinking your water, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Too Faced Hangover Setting Spray
Ulta Beauty
Another Ulta Beauty fan fave, Too Faced Hangover Setting Spray is a weightless three-in-one replenishing mist that sets, primes, and refreshes your makeup look. While the primer creates a healthy glowed up finish by smoothing, hydrating, and brightening the skin, the coconut-water infused mist puts in work by making sure your skin keeps its dewy appearance. Yes ma'am, we slay.
Skyn Iceland Eye Gels (4ct)
Ulta Beauty
Ulta Beauty's 21 Days Of Beauty is treating us to 50% off of yet another fan fave with their inclusion of these Skyn Iceland Eye Gels. For those of us who wish to give our undereye area special treatment, these 4-ct eye gels are the perfect addition to your self-care routine. Tone and de-puff the windows to your soul with this 10-minute or less beauty practice.
Skyn Iceland Eye Gels (8ct)
Ulta Beauty
Just in case you wanted to level up your beauty aresenal and self-care routine by one more level, you can choose to invest in the 8-ct version of this Ulta beauty steal. In just under 10 minutes, the Skyn Iceland eye gels tone, de-puff, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
Day 16: Monday, September 14
Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner
Ulta Beauty
If you want to make sure your eyeliner escapades are precise, look no further than Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner. This waterproof liquid eyeliner glides onto the eyelid easily, dries quickly, and doesn't smudge or run. An added bonus is the fact that this quick-drying precision liner has all day staying power, lasting well over 12 hours.
Lancome Cils Booster Mascara Primer
Ulta Beauty
The eyes have it, and the right mascara is key to ensuring your eyes pop whenever you get your smize on. While most people might not think a mascara primer is a necessary first step before applying your favorite mascara, Lancome Cils Booster Mascara Primer has other ideas. The vitamin-infused lash-conditioning mascara primer is an all-in-one product that primes lashes while improving its curl and thickness over time.
Day 17: Tuesday, September, 15
Benefit Cosmetics Boi-ing Cakeless Concealer
Ulta Beauty
A first-time steal, Benefit Cosmetics Boi-ing Cakeless Concealer promises to help you conceal imperfections without giving you a cakey look, and let's just say our interest is piqued.It hides everything, from undereye circles to discoloration caused by scarring and hyperpigmentation. The lightweight liquid concealer is a full coverage formula that doesn't crack, settle into fine lines, or crack.
Crepe Erase Advanced Body Repair Treatment
Ulta Beauty
When we talk about skincare, we often focus on our face rather than our body, but as the largest organ of the human body, your skin should be catered to everywhere, period. In order to remedy our lowkey indifference towards the skin we're in, look towards Crepe Erase Advanced Body Repair Treatment for an assist. This Ulta Beauty steal improves tone, texture, and elasticity of the skin.
Day 18: Wednesday, September 16
Smashbox Primers
Ulta Beauty
Smashbox Primers are the GOAT when it comes to oil and shine control. The transformative gel-to-powder formulas are all lightweight and mattifying, taking your FOTD to all new heights. At the same time, it helps facilitate a vitamin glow to your skin without making you look greasy. The formula both refreshes and awakens the skin while preserving your makeup looks.
Exuviance Performance Peel AP25
Ulta Beauty
The Exuviance Performance Peel AP25 helps to refine pore size and smooth the skin's texture by exfoliating dull and dead skin at the surface level to unveil healthier skin underneath. Packed with its 25% blend of AHAs and PHA, this product is an absolute must in anyone who desires a flawless complexion. Perfect for all skin types, over time with consistent use, your texture will be smoother with a more refined texture.
Day 19: Thursday, September 17
Tarte Lights-Camera-Lashes Mascara
Ulta Beauty
Tarte Lights-Camera-Lashes Mascara is a four-in-one mascara that is regarded as a cult classic in its industry for a decade. Thanks to ingredients like Olive Esters and Rice Bran Wax, this vegan mascara is a nourishing formula that provides length and volume for days to your lashes with the flick of a wrist. With Tarte Lights-Camera-Lashes, every lash gets catered to and every curl defined with the help of its 360-degree magniLASH wand.
Dermalogica Calm Water Gel Moisturizer
Ulta Beauty
Do you have dry, sensitive skin? This moisturizer is the thing your skincare dreams are made of. Dermalogica Calm Water Gel Moisturizer is a weightless moisturizer that hydrates without clogging your pores or irritating your skin. The refreshing gel formula goes onto the skin in liquid form for skin-quenching results.
Day 20: Friday, September 18
Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Starter Kits
Ulta Beauty
The Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Starter Kits is a limited-time kit that includes a mini brow wiz, a mini definer, a mini clear brow gel, and a mini dip brow gel. The kits come in four shades, including Medium Brown, Dark Brown, and Dark Ebony. This exclusive first-time steal proves once again why the Anastasia Beverly Hills brand has become synonymous with the perfect brow.
Clinique Moisture Surge 72 Hour Hydrator (1 oz)
Ulta Beauty
Alexa, play "Nonstop" by Drake. This song is appropriate for all that Clinique Moisture Surge 72 Hour Hydrator can achieve. The hydrating gel-cream moisturizer provides a moisture boost and is packed with hydration so it can elevate the glow of even the dullest skin. This moisturizer stays moisturizing your skin for up to 72 hours without the need to reapply. And it does so nonstop.
Day 21: Saturday, September 19
IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Foundation
Ulta Beauty
IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Foundation is a full coverage moisturizing foundation that is formulated to improve the look of the skin while also addressing the need to practice effective skincare. Wearing makeup doesn't mean you ignore the importance of taking care of your skin underneath. This foundation gets that. From redness and pores, to breakouts and dark spots, IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Foundation quite literally has you covered.
IT Brushes For ULTA Full Coverage Complexion Brush #77
Ulta Beauty
You've got your canvas all the way together, but what about your paintbrush? You are an artist after all. IT Brushes for ULTA Full Coverage Complexion Brush #77 has your back, sis. The exclusive Ulta Beauty steal has a unique triangle shape that contours to the face for a smooth and even application. Your makeup finds couldn't have asked for a better complement.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
These Tips Will Keep Foreplay From Becoming Boring AF (No Pun Intended)
As a writer, I happen to like quotes A LOT. When it comes to the topic of sex, specifically, there used to be a page on Twitter (it’s always gonna be Twitter to me, chile) calledKinky Quotes that I would enjoy checking out from time to time. The reason why is it was good forshowcasing content like “Foreplay. Don’t rush it. Enjoy it.”
INDEED.
Okay, but what if you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and although the foreplay is still pretty good, the real issue is that it’s also become a bit, well, boring? What do you do? First, don’t overthink it; you’re not in a position that is strange, rare, or anything to be overly concerned about. Second, there are a few things that you and your partner can do to bring a bit more spice back into the foreplay aspect of your sex life.
1. Build Up Anticipation
GiphyI’ve been working with long-term couples for a really long time now — and if there’s one thing that can tank the sex life of people who’ve been having sex for years, it’s not doing what builds up anticipation. At the end of the day, anticipation is all about giving your partner something to look forward to. Sexting does this. Sending your partner an email with a hotel reservation or some out-of-the-blue sexcation plans does this. Calling them to share something that you want to check off of your sex-themed bucket list does this.
Pretty much doing anything that lets them know that you want them to get into the headspace of getting super excited about what you have in store for them, on the sexual tip — that is some of the best foreplay that there is, y’all. So, when’s the last time that you gave your man a preview of what is to come? Hmm…
2. Get Creative with Your Nudity
GiphyUnfortunately, our culture can be so…imbalanced (let’s go with that word) when it comes to sex that many people think it’s impossible to engage in intimacy with someone for years (even decades) on end and still find it to be an absolutely wonderful and fulfilling experience. Meanwhile, there areplenty of studies to support that sex actually gets better, the longer that you are with someone (one study says that it’s around the 15-year mark when things really start to soar!). The thing that you should avoid is falling into a rut — being lazy about intimacy, looking crazy while going to bed (y’all know what I am talking about), and not “dressing up” the gift sometimes.
I can’t tell you how many husbands I have worked with who have told me that they never get tired of their wife’s body (like…ever); what they do get sick of is no lingerie or creativity when it comes to her “sexual presentation.” Date night with no drawers on. Watching television in a sheer baby doll get-up. Celebrating a goal that he’s reached with nothing but a bow on when you come to bed. You get what I mean, right? He chose you. He wants you. Get creative with your body when it comes to intimacy sometimes, though. That way, he’ll never see you coming (well…until…you know. LOL!).
3. Leave Touch Out of It (Initially)
GiphyWhile once reading an article on Bustle’s site about where the term “blow job” came from (it’s a semi-long explanation; you can check it outhere), there’s a sentence that says, “The roots of the term ‘blow job’ began a bit earlier than this, however — in the 17th century, to be exact, when to ‘blow’ meant to bring someone to orgasm.” One definition of blow speaks to what we do with our breath whether it’s whistling, breathing hard, or creating a steady stream of air out of our mouth.
If you do this on your partner’s erogenous zones, it can provide a very flirty yet arousing level of stimulation to where they will want you to touch them as soon as possible. Oh, and if you add some dirty words into the mix, they will damn near be ready to climax the moment even your finger touches their body. Hey, try it. I’m absolutely not exaggerating.
4. Kiss Everywhere…BUT the Mouth (Again, Initially)
GiphyEven though some people don’t like to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), the rest of us? We want it as much as possible! There isa scientific reason for why that is the case too. When you kiss someone (especially in the mouth), it releases feel-good and bonding hormones and chemicals including dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin; not to mention the fact that it can also help to reduce stress. And while kissing does feel absolutely amazing, remember that the focus here is to “pregame” stimulation.
So, if you really want to get your man riled up, avoid his mouth (at first) and even his penis and opt for turn-on spots instead.The wetness of your mouth, the softness of your lips, and the texture of your tongue along his neck, around his ears or gently grazing his back? Girl, I’m getting a little hot ‘n bothered just talking — well, writing — about it.
5. Stay Out of the Bed
GiphyIf there are two things that couples can find themselves getting really lazy about (if they’re not careful), it’s when they have sex and where. As far as the “when” goes,although reportedly, guys tend to prefer it in the morning (I mean, morning wood…makes sense) and women do late at night, most couples will admit that there is usually a time when they have it the most (especially if they’ve got young children — check out “How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids”) as a way of “meeting in the middle.” For example, if for you and your man,that’s 10 p.m. and it’s pretty much that way, every time, that can get to become boring, simply because no anticipation is necessary; you know what’s coming.
Same thing goes for always having sex in the bed. Even though it’s comfortable and accommodating to most sex positions, trying other places (at least for foreplay) can cultivate a feeling of newness and excitement. Whether it’s on the kitchen floor, in your car (when it’s in the garage), in the shower (check out “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better”), in your closet (some people really like the closeness of it) or, what appears to be most folks’ favorite spot,the living room sofa (go figure, chile) — get out of the bed sometimes. The bed is comfy, no doubt. It’s also predictable as hell.
6. Have a Foreplay Staycation
GiphyIt honestly floors me, just how many married couples I know who either haven’t taken a romantic vacation in years or (what in the world?!) haven’t done it since their honeymoon. To that, I’ll just say this: there was once a study conducted of 2,000 couples. It was revealed that of those who felt like their relationship had lost its spark, 42 percent of them were able to get it back by spending some quality time together while taking a leisure trip (without the kids). To me, this makes all of the sense in the world because romantic vacations are designed to “get off of the grid” and focus, solely, on you and your partner’s needs.
So, if you are one of those couples who doesn’t have a trip, just for you and your man, on the docket for some time this year, here’s your sign that you need to figure something out — ASAP. And what if your money is tight? What should you do in the meantime? How about a foreplay staycation? Plan 24-48 hours where you and your man do nothing but kiss, lick, and touch without any penetration involved. Play sex games. Dance naked. Come up with (new) safe words. After a day or two of nothing but this, you will be ready to explode once it’s time to actually have sex with each other!
7. Play Your Own Version of “Hot, Warm, Cold”
GiphyTemperature play plays a solid role in sexual pleasure; that’s why I’ve written articles like “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom” for the platform. Anyway, aside from the fact thatit’s pretty damn hilarious that 69 degrees is the ideal room temperature for intimacy (umm, if you catch my drift), a big part of the reason why playing around with hot, warm, and cold temps is so effective is because your nerves respond,sometimes drastically so, to variations in them.
I mean, when you stop to consider that there are8,000 nerves in a clitoris and 4,000 in a penis, imagine what some ice would do during oral sex. Or, how about heating up a sex toy that’s made out of glass or metal in some boiling water, letting it cool just a bit, and running that up and down each other’s erogenous zones? If you do this while being blindfolded, there really is no telling where the peak levels of stimulation could take you!
8. Focus on Upping the Ante on Your Partner’s Stimulation (As They Do the Same for You)
GiphyI’ve already referenced the word “stimulation” a few times. To stimulate is “to rouse to action or effort, as by encouragement or pressure; incite.” Some synonyms include arouse, inspire, spark, activate, energize, enflame, support, urge — and motivate (cue Kelly Rowland’s song, "Motivation"). And so, keeping all of this in mind, when it comes to foreplay with your partner, how much effort do you put into stimulating him — into inspiring him, energizing him, motivating him…yes, sexually?
Something that I am a big-time believer of is, it’s hard to fall into a sexual rut, if the goal that BOTH PEOPLE have is to always outdo themselves, damn near every time that they come together. That said, how can you “out-inspire” him with your compliments? How can you “out-energize” him with a creative meal that’sfilled with aphrodisiacs? How can you “out-motivate” him with some new ideas that you’ve researched while you were at work?
When it comes to both foreplay and sex, “applying pressure” can be a ton of fun — when you see yourself as your own competition as far as taking your partner to new heights in the stimulation department.
9. Be Unpredictable
GiphyUnpredictable can go a lot of ways. In the context of what I’m referring to, I’m not talking about being fickle, erratic, and unreliable. Nah, what I mean is, be intentional about having a few tricks up your sleeve that your partner would never see coming.
An example of this comes from a song from a local legend here, Shannon Sanders (if you know, you know). He once wrote a song entitled “Interstate” and the intro starts off with him saying, “What you doin’? Not you. Didn’t think you were the type.” Yeah, you can read between the lines (or click on the hyperlink to the title) to get what he’s talking about yet I’m pretty sure that what made the experience, 50 times greater, is she did something that was outside of the norm. When it comes to foreplay and sex — that is typically the case. #wink
10. Switch the Energy Up
GiphyForeplay can — and should — have different themes from time to time. One time, focus on being romantic (rose petals and toasting each other). Another time, lean into being kinky (where are your handcuffs and bondage rope?). Still, another time, discuss a fantasy that you each want to fulfill. Then play dress-up as you role play. Record (the audio) of yourselves having sex one day; then play it another day — during foreplay.
Spoon naked and talk about all of the things that you adore about each other’s bodies. Get some oral sex dice (like thesehere) and see where throwing the dice will take you. Y’all, energy is such a big part of foreplay and sex, and the more you master switching it up, the more you and your partner will look forward to coming — and cumming — together for years to come. No doubt about it, sis.
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Featured image by Giphy