How you start your day can very well determine how it will go and even how it will end. Kicking off your morning with self-affirmations can be a major game-changer for your entire day. It can up that confidence and help you accomplish so much more because you'll feel the strength to do it. I know I've had so many mornings when I just wake up in a funk, and that messes up my attitude for an entire day.
Adding these self-affirmations to my morning regimen, and then even repeating them throughout the day (because it's very clear that things and people can test us), has seriously helped me learn that I can control how my day goes and how I feel throughout it. Check out some of my favorites below.
"I'm More Than Enough"
As women, it's so easy to think we're not doing enough. We're constantly facing this battle and balance between self-care and providing for everyone else around us, and that's before rejection is thrown into the mix.
Having an off day can definitely make any woman come down way too hard on herself and make her feel like she's slipping. Having this daily reminder that you're not just enough but that you're more than enough can serve as a constant notice that you're doing an amazing job.
"I Don't Sweat The Small Stuff And Choose To Be Peaceful"
One night this week my husband and I had the smallest disagreement you can think of. I woke up the next morning and thought, "Am I still supposed to be mad at him?" I couldn't even remember what happened. I told him, and we laughed it off, but we haven't always been able to do that.
When it comes to marriage, work, or anything that can have unexpected challenges, it's so easy to sweat the small stuff and make it a much bigger deal than what it is. Going beyond just making the decision to not overexaggerate little things, and literally confessing that you won't do it, can help you laugh off the small conflicts that could have otherwise brought down your entire day and spirit.
"I Can Succeed In Anything I Put My Mind To"
Before you take on the day, say and believe that anything you go after will be successful. It doesn't have to be like every other seemingly ordinary day.
While this affirmation is pretty self-explanatory, it also calls for action, because you can't be successful at something if you don't know what success looks like for you. Think about writing down everything you want to accomplish. Later, you'll be able to look back at the day and see it as a great one. Then, go after every aspiration that you wrote down with the belief that you can do it.
If it doesn't turn out the way you plan, at least you'll be one step closer and can try again tomorrow.
"I Love Myself Just The Way I Am"
The morning seems to be the time where self-doubt and insecurities reign supreme. While we should be bright-eyed and twerking in front of the mirror from excitement about what the day will bring, it's easy to find ourselves picking apart every little detail of our inner and outer features.
At some point, we just have to tell ourselves that we're perfect the way we are. Saying this affirmation will help you start the day with confidence instead of anxiety and self-doubt. Feel free to repeat it when you're tempted to look into the mirror in your car and examine every part of you. Whatever flaws you have, doesn't mean that you're not worthy of self-love.
"I Don't Let Fear Stop Me From Trying New Things"
While it's easy to hate fear, it's even easier to let it rule over us. With it, we tend to stay in the box that we've always rocked. Without it, there's no limit to how far we can go.
I've always heard the statement fear stands for is False Evidence Appearing Real. So what are we afraid of? Confessing this affirmation about fear at the beginning of the day can help you tap into your bravery for something small like trying new food that you would never eat, to something major like starting a business.
"I Choose To Be Happy & Content Where I Am, On The Way To Where I'm Going"
This affirmation is an amazing one because it not only makes it clear that you'll be happy no matter what situation you're in but also says you don't plan on staying there.
It presents this perfect balance between being content and striving for more. It's a reminder to you that your life is an amazing one, but that there's so much more out there for you to experience. Saying this can not only make you feel better but inspire and push you to go after better.
"I'm Healthy And Make The Best Decisions For My Body"
If you're on this lifelong journey of living healthily, this affirmation will help you start your day off the way you've hoped. I know for me, there are days when I'll say I'm eating healthy and then eat five pieces of chocolate before I even realize what happened.
You might feel weird at first but making this confession in the morning and repeating it when those tempting moments come (because they definitely will) can get you closer to your goal than you might think. Soon you'll start feeling yourself like, "aayyyee I got this."
"I Choose To Get Rid Of Old Negative Habits And Embrace New Positive Ones"
What's one habit that you've been trying your hardest to break but can't? Write it down and remind yourself every morning that you're going to stop doing it. It's easy to fall into a habit for long periods of time without even recognizing that we're doing it. Before we know it, we've started doing something we feel like we can't stop.
Making this declaration daily is a reminder but can also let you know you're strong enough to overcome whatever you feel is holding you back.
"I Know My Own Self-Worth And My Confidence Is Amazing"
I think we can all benefit from saying this when we're scrolling on social media, or when we're at work and someone is coming for our patience.
Either way, letting yourself know that you're worth whatever you want and more helps boost that confidence and makes it clear to you more than anyone else that you're valued. Pairing this affirmation with other ones listed previously like, "I am enough" and "I love myself the way I am," can seriously bring your self-love to a new level and make your days so much better.
"The Best Is Yet To Come And Today Will Be The Best Day I've Ever Had"
No matter how great or bad your life is going, your best days can still be ahead. I was at an event recently and it seemed like the DJ refused to play songs outside of the 2003-2008 era, but I was completely fine with it because it reminded me of the amazing times I had in high school and college.
Sometimes it's so easy to glorify our past that we don't realize the life-changing moments we're in now and have ahead of us. Proclaiming this statement lets you know that while you've had some amazing times, the best is yet to come sis.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy