Kehlani Just Gave Us A Lesson in Sexuality
Women in the entertainment industry like Kehlani and Janelle Monae are proving time and time again that 2018 is the year that we take full control of our femininity. We are demanding pay raises, requiring orgasms, and taking advantage of every opportunity to live our best lives. This includes liberating ourselves sexually and redefining our perceptions of gender identity and romantic orientation.
Kehlani recently reactivated her Twitter account and cleared up some misconceptions about her sexuality, reiterating her status as a queer woman:
"cuz i keep geddin asked.. i'm queer. not bi, not straight. i'm attracted to women, men, REALLY attracted to queer men, non binary people, intersex people, trans people. lil poly pansexual papi hello good morning. does that answer your questions?"
She added that she used the term "queer" instead of "gay" because she did not want to be refined in her sexuality to loving only certain "types" of humans. At first, some of the terminology can be confusing but Kehlani reminds us that it's important to be educated when defining our own ideas about love and relationships.
"i always want to be corrected & educated when i am wrong. if i tweet something any form of incorrect, please let me know because i have a massive responsibility by having a platform."
The songstress has always been candid about her romantic life and told MTV News last year that she is secure and open about her sexual orientation in her music because it reflects her own reality.
"I'm very openly queer. And I thought that my music lacked representation of how my actual life is, and I thought it was important to be myself fluidly, in my music and not just in my life. My art mimics my life...It's only right that that's what I make music about and that I'm able to put that out confidently."
Personally, I've heard people use words like "pansexual" and "non-binary" to describe themselves, but I typically wrote it off without realizing that these classifications were developed so that people could better express who they are. We, unlike the generations of women before us, have the privilege of defining sexuality and identity on our own terms without persecution or ridicule of our non-conformity.
In the past, society has limited sexuality to only a few terms that narrowly describe orientation and leave a lot of room for interpretation. Advocates of the LGBTQ community have made a steadfast effort to break the standards of sexual and gender identity to help others feel secure in just being themselves. Terms like "pansexual" and "non-binary" are dictated based on preference of sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or romantic attraction and encompass a broader description.
Identifying with these terms are one of the many ways that women are taking initiative to choose who and how they love, and it's pretty lit. Here's a comprehensive guide through some of these terms In reading them, you may find that you identify with some things you didn't think you would. I know I did.
Cisgender
A term used to describe a person whose gender identity aligns with those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.
Gay
A term used to describe people who are romantically, physically, and emotionally attracted to someone of the same gender.
Queer
A term used by people who are not exclusively heterosexual who may feel that the term 'gay' has connotations that don't apply to them. Usually represents fluid identities and orientations. People who identity as genderqueer may see themselves as both male and female, or fall outside of the categories completely.
Androgynous
Identifying and/or presenting as neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine.
Androsexual/Androphilic
Someone who is primarily sexually, aesthetically, or romantically attracted to masculinity.
Gynesexual/gynephilic
Being primarily sexually, aesthetically, or romantically attracted to femininity.
Skoliosexual
Being primarily sexually, aesthetically, or romantically to genderqueer, transgender, and/or non binary people.
Non-binary
Any gender that falls outside of the binary system of male/female or man/woman.
Gender non-conforming
A broad term referring to people who do not behave in a way that conforms to the traditional expectations of their gender, or whose gender expression does not fit neatly into a category.
Gender-fluid
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a person who does not identify with a single fixed gender; of or relating to a person having or expressing a fluid or unfixed gender identity.
Omnisexual/Pansexual
Sexual attraction regardless of someone's sex or gender identity. Not the same as bisexuality - gender does not factor for pansexuals/ominsexuals.
Regardless of your gender identity or sexual orientation, love is love.
These labels should not limit us, but instead allow us to love each other and find love in ways that feel most comfortable to us.
Kehlani reminded her followers that she was not sharing her orientation to push her own agenda, but instead to help liberate other women and let them know that they the right to have preferences and make choices that truly make them happy.
"the last i'm finna say about this is i'm nevaaaaa tryna push my agenda, sis. twitter is for personal thoughts. preference exists. opinions exists. do you booboo cuz im doin me!"
You heard her right, just do you boo boo.
Featured image via Giphy
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images