What 8 Celebrities Say About Living With Anxiety
Celebrities have proven that their famous status doesn't make them exempt from struggling with anxiety. Living their lives for the world to see, judge and react with a meme or GIF sometimes can only add to the apprehension they experience. While some can say each celebrity signed up for living their life in the public, anxiety is something that anyone, famous or not, can relate to.
Fortunately, stars like Cardi B, Big Sean and Taraji P. Henson haven't been holding back lately when it comes to discussing their experiences. Beyond the idea that it normalizes them, they've given their own reflective moments of how they've been able to treat it and make it through. Check out what some of our faves have to say about dealing with anxiety.
Big Sean Opens Up About Dealing With Anxiety:
Big Sean was MIA for roughly a year before he opened up about dealing with anxiety. He seemed to be on top of the world before he canceled a tour in 2018 and took a step back from the spotlight altogether. Upon his return, he revealed he was dealing with anxiety and depression. He deleted all of his previous Instagram posts and started fresh with a series of videos to update his fans:
"I felt like something wasn't all the way connecting with my energy. I wasn't feeling like myself and I couldn't figure out why. I stepped back from everything I was doing and everything I had going on because somewhere in the middle of it I just felt lost…I got a good therapist. I was blessed enough to talk to some super spiritual people and they made me realize that one thing I was missing in my life… I needed clarity… I had to realize that it all started with me and nurture those relationships that were important to me.
"I started realizing that you can't give or depend on somebody for love or a good time if you can't give it to yourself. I started doing things by myself like going sky diving. In the midst of that I definitely rediscovered myself and found a whole new energy, and me being the source of it, not somebody else."
Missy Elliott Credits God For Getting Her Through Anxiety Attacks:
Missy Elliott has been open about her life with anxiety for quite a few years now. While she's known as a rapper who has broken one boundary after another, she said when she was younger, she was afraid of having too much attention, worried that someone could be laughing at her. She revealed that she had an anxiety attack before her surprise performance at the Super Bowl halftime show in 2015. She credits God for getting her through tough moments like that:
"I said, 'If I can get over this step, then I know all my dance steps will be on point.' I know it was nothing but the grace of God that lifted me up and took me through that performance."
Taraji P. Henson On Her Experience With Anxiety And Depression:
It seems like everywhere we look, Taraji P. Henson is rocking a new role. But the iconic actress recently talked about her experience with anxiety and depression. She confessed that it's her level of fame that can make it even worse at times. Henson added that while talking about it with loved ones can be healthy, seeing a therapist is what helps her cope:
"My anxiety is kicking up even more every day, and I've never really dealt with anxiety like that. It's something new. [Fame] was fun at first, but the older I get, the more private I want to be. I think there's a misconception with people in the limelight that we have it all together, and because we have money now and are living out our dreams, everything is fine. That's not the case. When they yell 'Cut' and 'That's a wrap,' I go home to very serious problems. I'm still a real human."
"I talk to someone. I have a therapist that I speak to. That's the only way I can get through it. You can talk to your friends, but you need a professional who can give you exercises. So that when you're on the ledge, you have things to say to yourself that will get you off that ledge and past your weakest moments."
She also opened up about the stigma that the Black community doesn't embrace professional therapy:
"We're walking around broken, wounded and hurt, and we don't think it's OK to talk about it. We don't talk about it at home. It's shunned. It's something that makes you look weak. We're told to pray it away. Everyone was always asking me, 'Do you have a charity?' Well, dammit, this is going to be my calling, because I'm sick of this."
Cardi B Opens Up About Her Battle With Postpartum Depression:
On the heels of her Grammy win, Cardi B opened up about her battle with postpartum depression after welcoming her daughter in July 2018:
"I thought I was going to avoid it. When I gave birth, the doctor told me about postpartum, and I was like, 'Well, I'm doing good right now, I don't think that's going to happen.' But out of nowhere, the world was heavy on my shoulders."
"For some reason, I still don't feel like my body's the same. I feel like I don't have my balance right yet. When it comes to heels, I'm not as good at walking anymore. I feel like I'm holding a weight on me. I don't know why because I'm skinnier than I've ever been. But there's an energy I haven't gotten back yet that I had before I was pregnant. It's just the weirdest thing."
How does she get through it? The "Please Me" rapper said she takes breaks from social media.
"I really don't need it, and sometimes it just brings chaos to my brain."
Justin Bieber On Depression During His Purpose Tour Causing Him To Cancel 14 Shows:
The singer is another one who took a break from fame (as much as he could anyway), and revealed his life with depression and anxiety. He said he had depression during his Purpose tour in 2017, causing him to cancel 14 shows:
"I haven't talked about this, and I'm still processing so much stuff that I haven't talked about. I was lonely. I needed some time. It's been so hard for me to trust people. I've struggled with the feeling that people are using me or aren't really there for me … One of the big things for me is trusting myself. I've made some bad decisions personally, and in relationships. Those mistakes have affected my confidence in my judgment. It's been difficult for me even to trust [my wife] Hailey. We've been working through stuff. And it's great, right?"
Bieber admitted that he once turned to Xanax to help him before he started seeing a therapist.
"I have been looking, seeking, trial and error as most of us do, I am now very focused on repairing some of the deep-rooted issues that I have as most of us have, so that I don't fall apart, so that I can sustain my marriage and be the father I want to be. Music is very important to me but Nothing comes before my family and my health."
Kid Cudi Talks Fighting Off His Thoughts Of Suicide:
Kid Cudi was one of the first celebrities of color to open about anxiety and depression. He wrote an open letter after going to rehab. He said he checked into a facility after he realized the status of his mental health had taken over, preventing him from trusting people, making friends and even living the house. He decided to get help to fight off his thoughts of suicide.
"If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions every day of my life… I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others, I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. I'm nervous but I'ma get through this."
Fortunately, more recently he said he's doing great.
"I'm the best I've ever been in my life. I realized I was genuinely happy, and there's nothing really going on in particular. Just being 34, to be still doing what I love. Taking care of my responsibilities, and my daughter's good and my family's good. Creating is making me happy again."
Serena Williams Talks Postpartum Emotions Following The Birth Of Her Daughter:
New mom Serena Williams said she had a new appreciation for motherhood after welcoming her daughter last year.
"Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I was just in a funk. Mostly, I felt like I was not a good mom. I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to 3 years if not dealt with."
She said talking about it is what has helped her the most.
"I like communication best. Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal. It's totally normal to feel like I'm not doing enough for my baby."
Shonda Rhimes Talks Struggles With Social Anxiety:
She's the brains behind most of our favorite primetime shows, but Shonda Rhimes has also struggled with social anxiety.
"I was sort of going on...about all the invitations that I've received and my sister finally sort of cut in and said 'are you going to say yes to any of these things?' and I remember being very taken aback and saying 'no, I'm busy, I can't."
She said her sister brought it to her attention that she never says yes to anything, and that was a moment of reality for her. Her outlet was none other than creating Grey's Anatomy character Cristina Yang, who Rhimes said was her alter ego.
"During my darkest hours, my quietest saddest moments, my loneliest times, writing Cristina Yang fortified me"[I] let her do and think and live in ways that voiced my dreams. She did not want to get married. She had a genius that she chased. She loved her work. I gave her a strident desire to not have children because while I adore children, I wanted to watch her fight that feminist battle and win."
Featured image by Getty Images
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images