What Sex Workers Need You To Know About Their Careers
Jessa Jordan
Pronouns:
She/Her
Occupation(s):
"I've dabbled in various types of sex work including work as a camgirl, an escort/sugar baby, a dominatrix, a burlesque performer, and a peepshow girl. Currently, I'm a stripper and nude model—which means I'm paid to pose nude, sometimes explicitly but usually for fine art, boudoir, fetish or even alternative fashion themes. I also shoot for, curate, and operate my own subscription-based app for uncensored adult entertainment content."
What has your time in the industry been like? How has FOSTA impacted you?
"My overall experience has been varied; as with any other occupation, it's been fulfilling in some ways and draining in others—I'm a womanist and I have had to really learn ways to mitigate the harmful psychological effects of the cis-heterosexual male gaze. Sex work has been my most steady stream of income for the past 7 years. The worst part has been the entitlement others have felt to persecute or fetishize me and since I'm Black, you can only imagine the misogynoir. The current socio-political climate has ensured that rampant whorephobia has increased, including trolling, harassment, and physical harm in real time.
"But even in that vein, I've met some of my best friends, seen and experienced more of this world than I ever would've thought possible due to my work. Unfortunately, FOSTA has ensured I have fewer resources to draw references for new clients or even platforms to meet new clients without going through tertiary means—which are often more dangerous, complicated, and unnecessary. FOSTA means I can have my social media, financial, email, or other accounts utilized for my businesses shut down randomly, which would destroy my ability to generate or continue receiving income I've already labored for."
"Being a sex worker is direct opposition to traditional norms and values surrounding what make a person respectable and yet it is also one of the most powerful and empowering occupations despite the incredible oppositions."
What should the world know about sex work?
"There have been a litany of posts regarding what sex work is and it's overdue that our society really discusses, unpacks, and educates people about what sex work is not. Sex work is the title bestowed to providers of services in the sex industry by a fellow sex worker and activist, Carol Leigh; it's an umbrella term and houses everyone from sex therapists to escorts. Sex work is not human trafficking. Sex work is not what people fall into just in order to pursue their drug habits, and it's not what people who make bad decisions do for work or just for dumb girls who are pretty and can't or won't do anything else. Sex work isn't often thrust upon someone; in fact, most of the time sex work is a choice—and even more often than not, it's an informed choice, given how accessible the industry has become because of social media and the elevation of the profession within pop culture. The sex industry is just that—an industry—and as such, its workers should be entitled to the same standards of dignity, empathy, and unionization as workers in every other field of work.
"Sex workers have graduate degrees (and loans to pay back), personalities, relationships, pets, families and friends just like other people because that's what we are—people. We are not asking for permission to exist and we are no longer entertaining the established, bizarre idea of morality that treats SWs as second-class citizens while abandoning scrutiny and justice for actual abusers, corrupt figureheads, and those who would rather keep marginalized citizens from true equity. We are demanding not to be murdered because 'no one will miss a whore.' We are demanding not to be raped, or to be believed when we do come forward because yes, you can be sexually assaulted even as a sex worker and no, that does not mean you are any less entitled to or deserving seeing your attacker be penalized to the fullest extent of the law... Being a sex worker is direct opposition to traditional norms and values surrounding what make a person respectable and yet it is also one of the most powerful and empowering occupations despite the incredible oppositions."
To read more, click "Next Page."
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Chilli Dishes On Her Drama-Free Dynamic With Matthew Lawrence And No Longer Fearing Marriage
Chilli may be preparing to walk down the aisle soon. The TLC singer has been dating actor Matthew Lawrence since 2022, and the two seem to be going strong. Chilli dished on her relationship with the Boy Meets World star during her visit to Fox 5’s talk show Portia. “This is the first time that we have both experienced being in a relationship to where, I mean—there's no drama at all. We get along, and we have differences but we, still to this day, we've never had an argument,” she said of their drama-free dynamic. “I don't even understand why we would have to have an argument in the first place.”
The “Waterfalls” singer also revealed that since dating her beau, she no longer has a fear of marriage. “I do not. I don't have any fear at all when it comes to him,” she said. “It is just the way he is as a man, you know? He is a good guy. He has an amazing heart, and I mean, he checks off all of my list except for a few I don't know yet—’til we get married.”
Chilli and Matthew's relationship may be taking another significant step in the future. In a 2023 interview with ET, Matthew shared their potential plans for children. "That's the game plan. That's what we're trying to do," he disclosed. This news is particularly exciting as Chilli already has a son named Tron with music producer Dallas Austin, and the prospect of expanding her family adds a new dimension to her relationship with Matthew.
While Chilli is known as a legend in music, her dating life often takes center stage. But that’s what happens when you’re linked to some powerful men. Here’s a look back at Chilli’s dating history.
Dallas Austin
The “No Scrubs” singer dated the super producer throughout the ‘90s, and he produced many songs for her group, such as “Creep” and “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg.” The two welcomed their son in 1997 and shortly parted afterward. Their relationship was documented in the VH1 TLC documentary Crazy, Sexy, Cool.
Usher
Usher and Chilli
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Usher and Chilli are probably each other’s most famous relationship. The former couple, which is still talked about to this day, were together from 2001-2004. They were still in touch over the years, but the “Unpretty” artist said she finally stopped all contact 15 years later.
Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Chilli and Floyd Mayweather Jr. sparked dating rumors after he appeared on her VH1 reality TV show What Chilli Wants in 2010. While the two looked really chummy on the show, the “Diggin On You” singer denied that they were ever romantically involved.
Nick Cannon
In 2016, Chilli and Nick Cannon were rumored to be dating. The Masked Singer host gushed about the mother of one in an interview with E! News. "She's amazing," he said about Chilli. "She's an outstanding person, but you gotta ask her what's going on." He later clarified that they were friends and he’d “be so lucky to be able to...be called dating someone like that."
Matthew Lawrence
Chilli and Matthew Lawrence have been together since 2022, and they sometimes give us glimpses into their relationship on social media. We can’t wait to see what the beautiful couple has in store for the future.
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Feature image by John Parra/Getty Images for Sandals Resorts