I don’t care what anyone says when it comes to a sign of aging that you are never fully prepared for; it’s got to be the first time you catch sight of gray hair — I don’t mean one that’s on your head (although that can be a bit of a trip too); I mean, when one creeps up in your pubic region. I remember the first time I got wind of one of my own. Whew, chile.
And don’t even get me started on how my waxer won’t let me forget the fact that now I have more than just a couple of ‘em, which is wild because the gray hairs on my head are still pretty minimal…all things considered. And althoughgenetics and good old-fashioned aging are the biggest causes for what makes our hair go from its original color to silver, gray, or white, I was actually surprised to learn there are several other health-related factors that can have our pubes going lighter (especiallyif it’s sooner or at an accelerated pace).
If you’re curious to know what those things are, here are the seven leading ones.
1. A Fungal Infection
GiphyIf you’ve never heard ofWhite Piedra before, consider it to be your “something new” for the day. Basically, it’s a type of fungal infection that directly affects your hair shaft to the point where it looks like you have pearly nodules that are all over your hair strands.Some other symptoms of this infection are your hair will end up feeling dry, brittle, and gritty and your scalp might feel painful or really itchy. Although this infection can show up anywhere hair grows, it’s most “popular” when it comes to eyebrows and eyelashes, mustaches and beards, and yes, where your pubic hair grows.
And y’all, while Google wants you to think that you can self-diagnose and cure everything on the planet if you sense that you could have this in your pubic hair, it’s best to get a confirmation from your doctor. A prescription-based shampoo or oral medication may be needed to thoroughly remove it.
2. A Vitamin B12 Deficiency
GiphyA nutrient that’s essential when it comes to keeping your nerves and red blood cells in good condition is vitamin B12. Some signs that you’re not getting as much of it in your system as you should are unexplainable fatigue, a loss of appetite, weight loss, vision issues, and feeling irritable.
Know what else lets you know that you need to get more B12 into your body? Yep, you guessed it: gray hair, including gray pubic ones. Since B12 helps to keep your red blood cells thriving, when there’s not enough of it in your system, that means your hair follicles can end up becoming malnourished — and that can reduce how much melanin they produce.
That’s why it’s a good idea to have a diet that’s filled with vitamin B12-enriched foods like tuna, salmon, fortified cereals, yogurt, and eggs, and, if need be, that you take a B12 supplement as well.
3. An Imbalanced Thyroid
GiphyWhether you’re dealing withhypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) or hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid), they both can result in premature graying. That’s becausewhen your thyroid isn’t as balanced as it should be, that can affect not only the growth cycle of your tresses, it can impact how much melanin is produced, too. So, if your pubic hair seems suddenly whiteand you’ve got signs of hypothyroidism (fatigue, constipation, dry skin, muscle weakness, and/or an irregular period) or hyperthyroidism (increased heart rate, weak nails, restlessness, increased appetite, and/or more than usual bowel movements) — don’t underestimate any of this. Speak with your physician so that they can figure out exactly what is going on.
4. Vitiligo
GiphySomething that you may have never considered to be a reason for gray pubic hair isthe skin condition vitiligo. Yet, when you stop to consider that it’s what happens when your skin starts to lose its pigment in noticeable amounts, it makes all of the sense in the world. Although research continues to be ongoing, what we know for sure isvitiligo is a chronic autoimmune disorder that oftentimes can be more managed than actually “cured;” however, there are a variety of treatments available, from creams and oral medications to light therapy and surgical procedures.
Since white patches on the skin, loss of pigment in your mucous membranes, and premature graying are all symptoms of vitiligo, if you’re noticing all three of these things happening at once, make an appointment to meet with your doctor as soon as possible.
5. Pubic Lice
GiphyIf you’ve ever heard that Black people don’t get lice, the truth is a bit less — pardon the pun — black and white than that.The fact is that, although it can be more challenging for lice to grasp onto our tighter curls (when our hair is in its natural state) and the hair products that we use can oftentimes cause lice to slip off before making a (temporary home), don’t sleep — we can still get it; and not just on our heads.
When it’s lice in your pubes, the “street name” for it is crabs. Although they have a reputation for being an STD, the reality is they aren’t. Crabs are tiny insects that can be transmitted through sexual contact; however, you can get them in other ways as well. It’s also important to know that crabs can show up on hair that grows on the chest, armpits, facial hair, eyebrows, and eyelids, and the symptoms include extreme itchiness, irritated skin, discolored spots on your thighs, abdomen, and buttocks, a low-grade fever and small white dots (which are actually lice eggs…chile).
If any of this is going on, make an appointment with your doctor. If they confirm that pubic lice is what’s happening, they will provide you with a list of things that you must do over the next 10 days or so. Oh, and they might recommend that you get tested for STDs…just to be on the safe side (because if someone is having sex with you while ignoring a lice problem, there’s no telling what else they may have going on…feel me?).
6. Smoking
GiphyAt this point, who doesn’t know that smoking (tobacco) is absolutely not a good idea? When it comes to your hair, specifically,smoking is problematic because it negatively affects blood circulation to your scalp, it can stagnate your hair growth cycles, it may cause your hair follicles to become inflamed, it can potentially make your hair dry and brittle — and yes, it can result in premature graying. A part of the reason is thatnicotine has the ability to actually cause build-up on your hair follicles. When that happens, it can result in a loss of hair pigmentation…even in the genital region. Just one more solid reason to quit if smoking is your thing.
7. Stress
GiphyIf someone has ever told you that you’re giving them gray hair, as the old saying goes,there is truth in all humor. Although you might’ve always chalked it up to being nothing more than a very popular myth,stress can indeed cause your hair to lose its natural pigment. That’s because, when you are stressed out, your system releases a chemical called norepinephrine. When it enters into your hair follicles, it “attacks” your melanocyte stem cells which is where your natural hair color resides. So, if you’ve got more than a few gray pubes popping up all of a sudden — pause and ponder how much stress you’ve got going on. Believe it or not, that could actually be the culprit.
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The reason why this type of article was important to write is the reality is we can learn a lot about our health via our hair — yes, even our pubic hair. If, at the end of the day, yours is the result of nothing more than time doing its thing,you can always dye it or remove your hair altogether. Or you can make peace with your gray pubes like I’ve chosen to do.
I mean, my waxer (and my mirror when I do my vaginal self-exams) says that she’s fly with some salt ‘n pepper. Who am I to debate the truth? #Elmoshrug
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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