It's no secret the hair industry seems to be more crowded than ever. But considering all of us are rocking our unique head of hair (especially in its natural state), we can never have too many natural hair products to finesse and love on our coils.
Just like Rihanna didn't let the makeup industry intimidate her from dropping the record-breaking Fenty Beauty, I'm glad these brands didn't let the seemingly overcrowded hair industry stop them from releasing their versions of the best natural hair care products that we never knew we needed until now.
Whether the new line is backed by a major company that we're all familiar with, or launched by a boss woman who is breaking the ceiling, you certainly need to get into these natural hair care lines that were released this year:
1.Curly World by Lorraine Massey
Naturally Curly
Lorraine Massey had a gem on her hands with this one. Thanks to being the brains behind the DevaCurl product line and serving as co-founder of DevaChan salon in New York City, she was a staple in the natural hair and curly girl industry long before she released her line this year.
The timing was perfect for her Curly World release because it's clearly what the people were craving. I love how 'to the point' this brand is. While there are tons of options out there to care for our hair, Massey ironically aims to get us all back to the basics when it comes to caring for our tresses with her three-step method (shampoo, condition, tone). The line consists of four products: Sham-Free Hair & Scalp Cleanser (a pre-wash), Terms & Conditions (a hydrating conditioner that can double as co-wash), Leave-In Lover conditioner, and With Or Without Hue, a conditioner for those with dyed hair.
2.Miss Jessie’s Honey Curls
roundthewaygirl.com
Miss Jessie's history speaks for itself! So when co-founder Miko Branch dropped new products this year, I knew it would be a win. Miss Jessie's was one of the first lines that showed love to our natural hair, and these new products have proven that the brand isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
It currently features five products: Curls So Fresh, which helps with those days following a wash when our hair refuses to cooperate. Gloss So Good helps those curls pop and shine like they should. Hold Me Down is the edge control that the edges of your hair might have been searching for all along. The Grow Strong MAFURA Hair Oil gives our scalp the treatment that it definitely needs. Last and certainly not least is the Honey Curls product that didn't waste any time gaining popularity as it uses honey to lock in that moisture… Gon head and get'chu some!
3.Maya Smith’s The Doux
The Doux
I can't get enough of Atlanta native Maya Smith's salute to the 90s era with her new hair care line, The Doux. The 90s were LIT, okay? And so is The Doux. For starters, the packaging is blasted with neon colors, which were really big in the beloved decade. But the products definitely live up to the hype too (and come in neon colors as well).
It's no surprise that the products are of quality since the founder has more than 20 years of working as a stylist, including transitioning thousands of clients into the natural hair lifestyle…bless her heart. She has also performed tons of extensive research to have the best products for her consumers. The Doux currently features five products: SUCKA FREE moisturizing shampoo, FRESH RINSE moisturizing conditioner, MOUSSE DEF texture foam, THE LIGHT shine mist, and a customer favorite, BONITA AFRO BALM texture cream. These products certainly stand out as they boost our hair's moisture, texture, hydration, all while canceling out that frizz.
4.Crème Of Nature’s Pure Honey
We all know Crème of Nature has come a long way over the last few years. And this year, it kicked its efforts to keep our natural hair in check up a notch with its Pure Honey line. You've probably already heard of this one but whether you have or haven't, it definitely deserves an honorable mention.
Let me start by saying that each of the items in the Pure Honey line is filled with a mix of honey, coconut oil, and shea butter; but it makes sure not to weigh the hair down and have it looking stiff. As for the specifics, there are five products: Moisturizing Dry Defense shampoo and conditioner, Break UP Breakage Leave-In Conditioner, Knot Away Leave-In Detangler, and an amazing moisturizing hair mask that can help give your hair a fresh reset.
5.FORM Beauty
FORM Beauty has mastered the art of keeping it simple while still making a statement by giving us the basic products we need to keep our hair moisturized, fly, and even selfie-ready. What I love about this brand in particular is that it has a consultation option that provides a hair routine specifically for you. It understands that each of their customers is different, even if they have a similar category of hair, and that no two heads of hair are the same. It also helps that the brand has quite a few products to offer! Besides, we all know the downside of trial-and-error when it comes to being on the hunt for products that will work specifically for us.
Related Stories:
The Lazy Girl's Guide To Natural Hair – Read More
I Tried 4 Vegan Natural Hair Products – Read More
One But Not Equal: Natural Hair Is Not The Same – Read More
6 Protective Styles For Transitioning To Natural When Twist Outs Aren't Enough – Read More
Featured image by Getty Images
RELATED
One day, I might really get into just how actually evil that is (because sex is never supposed to be a bribe in a relationship). For now, though, I want to talk about how motives reveal oh so very much when it comes to physical (and even emotional) intimacy. Hmph. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on the topic of motives: “People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs, and motives.” An author by the name of Thomas Mann said that, and indeed it does because, when you are doing something merely to get your way, that is a form of manipulation or control.
On the other hand, when you’re doing it merely for the holistic pleasure of doing so — that is when you are experiencing intimacy in the way that it was intended to be.
So, when it comes to your personal motive for sex, what is it really all about?
What Are You Really Hoping to Get Out of Sex?
When It Comes to Your ‘What’, You Always Need to Know Your WHY
GiphyOh, I’ve got some more motives quotes for you. Psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” Author Paul David Trip once said, “We rarely do anything with one single motive.” It’s pretty ironic that actor Chris Noth (because if you know, you know) once said, “Since women ask me about male motives all the time, I can offer a bit of advice. If you feel like you're going to get hurt, then you shouldn't be there in the first place. That's the way I look at relationships.”
Now, before I attempt to build on these quotes, let’s first look at a very basic definition of motive:
Motive: a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious
Did you catch that? Oftentimes, when someone is moving based on a motive, the reason is hidden. Is it just me or does that sound semi-sneaky or opportunistic, right off the bat? Interestingly enough, some synonyms for motive include grounds, basis and root. All of those words make me think of the foundation of something. So, since we are talking about sex, specifically, today — before you decide to sleep with someone, you really should ask yourself what your foundational reason is and, if you’re choosing not to share it with said-partner…why is that?
Pick Your Top 3 Motives, Then Reflect
Let’s keep going. Some other synonyms for motive include aim; emotion; idea; impulse; intent; motivation; passion; rationale; occasion; incentive; consideration, and inspiration. Aight, so here’s another thing to ponder — out of these 12 words, select your top three that “connect the dots” as it relates to your motive (or motives). It could be that you feel passion for him, your intent is to show him that and, since you’ve been dating for a hot minute, you think that it’s the right occasion. In this case, what’s shady or opportunistic about that?
If that is indeed your motive, it would fall less into the “hidden” category and more in the “not obvious” once you really thought it through. On the other hand, if it’s more like you aim to have sex, because your rationale is to get some sort of incentive out of it — do you see how that’s totally different? And if indeed that is the case, WHY do you think that is okay?
Sex Is Not A Transaction — It’s An Exchange
I’m telling you, if there is one thing that I damn near loathe is how transactional sex sounds these days: “Unless you’re going to pay my bills, I’m not going to give you any.” What in the world? Listen, I don’t care how unpopular the opinion may be, sometimes — hell, oftentimes — the truth isn’t popular and the truth about copulation is IT IS AN EVEN EXCHANGE. No one should be paying you for it. He got pleasure, you got pleasure. Over and out. And if that isn’t happening, either there is more communication that needs to be going on (which is just one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of faking orgasms) or there is something “off” when it comes to you and your partner.
Whatever the case may be, before engaging in physical intimacy with someone, it’s beyond wise to spend some time getting really honest with yourself about what your motives truly are — because how we start something oftentimes sets the tone for the experience overall. Indeed, motives are a lot like cause and effect — they play a significantly profound role in determining the outcome of matters.
Real Compatibility Includes Mutual Motives
Sexual Compatibility Includes Having Mutual Motives
GiphyOkay, so now that we’ve discussed motives, in general — say that your motives are pure (and you are being really honest with yourself about that). You’re not hiding anything because there is nothing to hide. You simply feel so connected to someone that you are motivated and inspired to take things to another level.
Well, that’s where author Lebo Grand and something that he once said comes in: “Sensuality is the purest motive that exists on earth.” When something is sensual, it gratifies the senses. When something is sensual, it arouses the appetite — and yes, when you want to be intimate with someone, simply because you want to get closer to them, there is something that is very sweet, very sincere and even pure — in the sense of being authentic and real — about that.
If that is your motive, share that with your partner. If that is also his motive, then it’s time to get into what the mutual motives of what a healthy sexual relationship should be: pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Y’all, something else that messes many couples up is there is so much focus on what they want to get out of sex that they fail to fully tune in and tap into their partner — and that is unfortunate. You know why? Because it has been both my experience as well as my observation that when both people are totally invested in making sure that their partner is sexually satisfied both individuals end up feeling gratified and quenched. Yeah, a selfish motive rarely brings contentment like a selfless one does — and you can take that to the bank!
And that is why, although I think that sexual compatibility is important, you’d be amazed how much clear communication, patience and selflessness can “get you there” if sex seems awkward at first. Again, if the motives are right, goodness can come from it, even if it takes a bit of time and effort to get there.
When Your Sexual Motives Shift, Say Something
If Your Motives Shift, You Need to Speak Up
GiphyFinal point. It is the Greek philosopher Heraclitus who once said, “Change is the only constant in life” and this applies to every aspect of it — including sex. That said, some of you may recall back when I wrote an article entitled, “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go.” The wife who I featured in that piece, we were recently talking about it and how she remains 10 toes down about the fact that a “big one” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be if the man who owns it is attached to a huge ego and not much else.
When I asked her to reflect on how much of her dissatisfaction was — and kinda still is — about him vs. who she now is as a person, she admitted that so much of who she is has changed from when they first got together. She’s older and so her hormones have shifted. She has spiritually evolved and so a profound emotional connection is more desired. She knows herself better and so she has some sexual needs that she never had before. And so, her motives have shifted from pretty much just having a good time (only) to longing for something…deeper.
This isn’t abnormal; many people go through this. Thing is, instead of being forthcoming with their partner, they would rather have them pick up on hints or, even worse, attempt to read their mind. Yeah, that’s not how effective communication works, y’all — if your motives for sex have changed, you’ve got to say something. Otherwise, you’re going to end up frustrated or unfulfilled…and honestly, your partner probably will too because if you are different and you don’t share it, eventually there will be a “disconnect” (and not just in the bedroom).
____
As I bring this to a close, take a moment to circle back to the first motive quote that I shared in the intro (“People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs and motives.”). Whatever your sex life is like right now, what are your goals, needs and motives? What are his?
Figure that out and you’ll better understand where you’re at and, if you don’t like it, how to get to where you want to be.
It all begins with the right motives, sis. It really and truly does.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy