7 Black Women Entrepreneurs On How They Beat Digital Distraction
A new year is upon us, girl. I know you've got new goals to achieve, new ground to cover, new practices to master. You're on your "new year, new me" vibe and excited, maybe even slightly anxious for how it will go. I get it. I'm there too.
With all the big dreams and goals we set out on our journey to achieve, it can get overwhelming to figure out how to fight off all the things that vy for our attention on a daily basis. The inward commitment is strong but the practical tools are sometimes unclear.
Never fear! I caught up with 7 DOPE Black women to get a variety of tips, tricks, and motivation for how to combat distraction and how to feel good doing it!
Check out their nuggets of wisdom and comment, letting us know how you plan to kick distraction's butt in the new year!
xoQuestion: How do you successfully combat distractions from your calling/work in the age of social media?
Ashley Sharie
Business Advisor, Mindset Master, Founder of Aspire Business
Follow her on Twitter & Instagram: @loveasharie, @2aspireco
"I combat distractions literally by minding my business – in both a literal and figurative sense. Not only do I worry about myself and #slayinmylane, but I also practice a great deal of mindfulness and mindset mastery. When I get distracted in any form (comparison, over-consumption, perfectionism), I stop and ask, 'Why?' Rather than reprimand myself or rationalize the behavior, I take a step back and look at the 'why.' What is my trigger? How am I feeling?
"I assess my answers, course correct, and get back to business. Whether that means silencing notifications, unfollowing certain accounts, adjusting deadlines, unsubscribing from newsletters – whatever I need to do, I do it."
Gabrielle Hickmon
Writer. Founder & EIC of TheReignXY. Author, sunny.
Follow her on all social media: @gabbyhickmon, @thereignxy
(Photo credit: - Damola Akintunde)
"I get off social media. Anytime I feel myself getting too caught up in scrolling, I delete the apps and have a friend change my passwords. Sometimes it's for a week or two, others for a few months. It helps me refocus and get grounded. I try to remind myself that the work is the work. Posting about it isn't.
"In order to look like you're getting things done, you have to be doing something – even if it's crappy. So, get to work. Learn your cycles and work when you can. Rest when your body and spirit tell you to. You can't cheat the game. Well, you can. But don't you wanna earn your keep?"
"I try to remind myself that the work is the work. Posting about it isn't."
Inacent Saunders
Nonprofit Consultant
Follow her on Instagram: @groundworkforchange, and Facebook: www.facebook.com/G4CLLC
"First, I try my best to conduct my business in business settings. So, I find it easier to focus and ignore social media if I'm sitting at a desk in a coworking space, surrounded by other people doing their own work, than if I was at home on the couch, or in a local café, bumping the latest pop and hip hop tunes overhead. I rarely ever wander over to social media if I'm in a work/business environment.
"Second, regarding [online distraction/comparison], that's mitigated by simply remembering that my success is going to look different anyway! As a woman of faith, one of the things I've learned is that the path I have to take to get to my destiny and to fulfill my purpose, looks NOTHING like anyone else's path. My success won't look like their success. Who I'm called to, won't be who their called to. And my results won't look like their results. I'm learning to use social media in ways and at times that are not distracting to me. And when I do use it, I'm rarely distracted by the images of success and triumph I see folk sharing. If anything, I've learned to celebrate their success, because I know it's going to be just as sweet for me, in my own way, and in my own timing."
Lia Epps
Social Worker, Photographer
Follow her on Instagram: @liaeppsphotography and Twitter: @liaephotography
"I combat distractions by setting aside specific days where I dedicate several hours to my photography; I also am very fond of the Do Not Disturb feature. Additionally, I have accountability with other creative friends about new projects or upcoming deadlines and they keep me in check. One of my biggest drivers to keep me focused is that someone is depending on me to do what God called me to do. When I get off track, I am standing in the way of someone getting free or reaching their full potential."
Alisha Robertson
Founder, LivingOverExisting.com
Follow her on all social media platforms: @TheAlishaNicole
"I try to automate everything as much as possible so that I am not connected to my phone and social media all day. Automation helps me to stay consistent without always being present 24/7. Leaving my phone in a different room or on Do Not Disturb helps a ton when I am trying to focus and push through my to-do list. Also, whenever I feel like I'm starting to compare myself to certain people or whenever a post doesn't put me in a good space, I don't hesitate to unfollow."
Shay Duriel Davis
Digital Marketing Strategist and Creator, The Bronze Hustle
Follow her on all social media platforms: @shayduriel and @thebronzehustle
"I used to think that in order to really be successful, you would need to put yourself in a bubble and just never interact in order to really have solid work done within your work. Now, I believe there are also times when coexisting and creating a balance is just as important. Some of us do well with deactivating or handing off all social media duties but for those of us who not only weave it through our work but also enjoy connecting with our counterparts, there are a lot of dope connections and opportunities that can come from just scrolling your (curated) timeline. Regardless of if the people on your timeline enjoy your process and what the glam side looks like, it's the results that truly matter."
"Some of us do well with deactivating or handing off all social media duties but for those of us who not only weave it through our work but also enjoy connecting with our counterparts, there are a lot of dope connections and opportunities that can come from just scrolling your (curated) timeline."
Gynai Kristol
Videographer. Freelancer.
Follow her on Twitter & Instagram: @_KristolKlear
"When it comes to social media or notifications in general, I am the queen of Do Not Disturb. My phone lives on it and if I could turn it on for my life I would (my friends slightly dislike me for this haha). I tend to stay off of it especially when I'm in work mode. I don't really use Twitter, but Instagram had a lot of my time. When I was in the process of rebranding and relaunching my website about a year ago, I had completely deleted the Instagram app off of my phone. I found myself comparing where I was (like most of do) to where someone else was in their journey and career. So in order to just focus on myself and get my sh*t in order, I removed those distractions from my phone. And now, I occasionally turn the notifications off in the app itself."
Featured image of Gabrielle Hickmon by Damola Akintunde.
Ashley is a storybuilder and storyteller who writes and produces to inform, connect, encourage and evoke. Vibe with her on Twitter/Instagram: @ashleylatruly.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
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Featured image courtesy
How Investing In The Underdogs Helped This Woman Become A Multimillionaire
Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
Chestine “Danni” Washington’s journey started off like so many others I know. Yet today, she’s made over $5 million in one month and casually took our Zoom call from a balcony in Cabo. Danni comes from a loving family who supported her. And while she may not have gotten everything she wanted growing up, she never wanted for a thing. But her path started to take a unique road when she made the decision to change her career journey from dentistry to psychology in college. Unfortunately, her parents didn’t see that as a viable career choice and made the decision to cut her off financially – thus fueling her journey.
Today, she's a multimillionaire who is grateful for them pushing her to be better, and that passion for mental health is as prevalent as ever. Previously, Danni earned two master's degrees and happily worked for three years as a therapist before transitioning to a behavioral analyst. But after having her second child, she decided to start a “side business,” which now has over 30 locations. She also owns a restaurant franchise, The Peach Cobbler Factory, and Chance for Change in Fort Worth, which helps men recently released from prison deal with mental health struggles and job placement.
So how did this woman conquer boldly following her passions while increasing her bag? She broke it down in this exclusive conversation with xoNecole.
Have you always been good with money?
Girl, no, not in college! I did what I wanted to do. I had my parents and everybody else helping out in the beginning. But I’ve always been a woman of my word. If I say I’m going to do or learn something, I will. It may take a little longer, but I’ll get it done. Every company that I own, I worked on it myself. From the EIN number to marketing.
For example, I remember I worked with an autistic child who was completely nonverbal. I helped the 4-year-old for 4-6 months and eventually got him to speak. Later as a thank you, the family tried to give me a check for $15,000, and I turned it down because I thought I’d get fired. So they ended up reaching out to my supervisor, and she advised me to accept it. I used that check to open my first tax office, and I still keep up with them.
Courtesy
Wow, that’s a really different field. When you started that business, were there elements you were unaware of that you needed to grow your business? Can you talk to me about them?
Yeah, we all need great mentors to learn and grow. Like, if you want to be a millionaire, you need a millionaire mentor. An example that sticks out is once I had a brand new EFIN number (which is needed to file taxes as a company). Everyone was telling me with a new EFIN; you have to work under someone else to file taxes – which I had been doing. And it just so happened that this guy named Reggie answered the phone; today he’s still my mentor. He ended up giving me the bank products and everything I needed to go out on my own. To this day, he helps me market, save, and manage. Because I still want to buy different things sometimes, but I stop because I know I should invest the money.
What's your splurge?
I’m still working on that. (laughs)
I feel like when you work hard, you have to reward yourself. Just like when you’re working with a child with autism, if they do something right – you should award them. But lately, God has been telling me before you buy that new car, you should probably invest in that restaurant. The only time I save money, though is if it’s in an IRA. Money sitting in a savings account doesn’t grow. So I look at savings like I might as well spend it or invest it.
"The only time I save money, though is if it’s in an IRA. Money sitting in a savings account doesn’t grow. So I look at savings like I might as well spend it or invest it."
Okay, now I have to ask, how much do you make per year or what’s the most you’ve made?
Through my tax company, we have over 11,000 clients. So how it works is, you’ll start working in December and begin getting paid in mid-February. But we have the “big drop,” that means that with 11,000 clients, like 3,000 will drop at the same time. So that first drop was $2.1 million, the second was $1.3 million, and after that it was like $900,000. It keeps diminishing, but we keep getting paid until around October.
So for example, in the month of February, I made over $5 million.
Oh, my God. I think it’s important for people to know they can really work to change their finances like you did. So can you do me a favor? Hold on to what you just said, and take me back to when you were struggling financially.
You know I had great parents. We didn’t have what we wanted, but we had what we needed. That’s why I’m so humble now. We weren't wearing designer, but we had nice clothes. They worked regular jobs. I think my parents wanted me to be a dentist, but I always loved talking with others. So when I changed my major to psychology – they cut me off. I had to work two jobs in college, and I’ve had cars returned. But I’ve always been a person that knew I could figure it out. So I really thank them for that, because it made me stronger.
What’s the best and worst business advice you’ve been given?
The best is to hire people that other people look down on. And the worst has been the reverse, hiring popular people. I hire people who work at chicken and fish plants, fast food chains, warehouses, and etc. I like people who have a story to tell, and they’re more loyal. My director used to work at Church’s Chicken, and she made over $200,000 this year. I’m really happy for her because she’s opening her own office now.
Yes, love that! When your finances started to change, were there day-to-day changes you had to make to maintain your financial status?
It wasn’t about doing more. It was more about limiting baggage. Don’t get me wrong, I miss some friendships. But sometimes you have to eliminate partying and stuff. When I got my first tax location and made $80,000, I blew it. I bought two cars, and by the last quarter, I had $2,000 left to my name.
I really had to go into a corner and focus. I’m very friendly, but my peace means everything to me. People can really come in and throw everything off.
"It wasn’t about doing more. It was more about limiting baggage. Don’t get me wrong, I miss some friendships. But sometimes you have to eliminate partying and stuff. When I got my first tax location and made $80,000, I blew it. I bought two cars, and by the last quarter, I had $2,000 left to my name."
This sounds personal. Are you speaking from an experience you can share?
Yeah. I mean, it was an ex-boyfriend. By the time I started dating, I was used to managing money. But that person couldn’t manage money, and I was the backbone. It was draining. I don’t mind going 50/50, but 100% is a lot.
You seem like you’re managing a lot. I’m curious: who is in your tribe? Who do you vent to?
Honestly, I vent to God. I don’t confide in people. I have a set of good friends, but I don’t get personal with anyone except God – and maybe my mom. People feel like they can judge you, and I don’t like that.
That’s true. Well, do you have a specific prayer or money mantra?
I talk to my prophet every Monday. I do cleanses. I don’t pray every day, but I’m working on it. But I do keep to a routine. Keeping to a routine is how to be consistent in everything and a daily to-do list.
Lastly, what is your final goal? Is there something you’re still aspiring to do?
I want to start traveling to different countries and giving back. I’d like to do that for a year. I don’t think I’ll start another business venture for a while. There’s been so much confusion and work. I’m just traveling and enjoying life right now.
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