

What Happened When I Cut Out Processed Foods, Meat & Dairy For A Week
To most of my friends in LA, I'm the healthy eater of the group. I'm the one who has all the vegan and vegetarian recipes under my belt, ready to whip out at a moment's notice. But to those who know me best, my husband for example, I'm a backsliding vegetarian-sometimes-vegan who is addicted to Fresh Brothers Pizza, saving up for a leather Louis Vuitton bag, and often have fried chicken and macaroni cravings! Don't judge me vegans, I'm getting there!
After noticing that I've gained a little bit of love weight over the years, I wanted to take back control of what I put into my body. You know what they say? Abs begin in the kitchen. But I digress. To address those concerns, my dear friend and licensed nutritionist Wilize (who is the Vegetarian Goddess that I look up to) asked me to try out her nutrition cleanse for one week. I happily obliged!
Before I started, I flooded her text messages with a million questions: What exactly is non-processed? Can I have rice? Can I eat Quinoa? Can I have bread? To my dismay, the answer to all of those questions was, "No." In short, if it wasn't a fruit or vegetable and wasn't in the produce section, I couldn't eat it during the cleanse.
What I could have was fruits and vegetables (cooked or uncooked), seasonings, cold-pressed olive oil, and coconut oil. I know what you're thinking, delicious. I know what I was thinking, I was limited and would definitely be deprived. But, I was determined to get into this cleanse, and after a few recipes from her and Pinterest, and with my husband in tow, I went seven whole days without processed foods, meat, and dairy. Here's how I did it:
Day One
So, I should start by saying I mostly do intermittent fasting. Meaning on a typical day, I'll only eat between the hours of 12pm-8pm. I'm usually not hungry in the morning and I like to give my body time to digest my food before I fill it up with more food, hence the reason why I don't usually eat breakfast. On the first day of my cleanse, I made huge salads for lunch. I bought bunches of romaine lettuce and cut a whole bunch into one salad, topped with beans, cucumbers, bell peppers, and homemade salsa. Trust, it was definitely filling.
For dinner, I used the same ingredients, minus the cucumbers, to make tacos with romaine lettuce as the shells. While we loved the salads, neither of us were big fans of the lettuce leaves for taco shells. Both meals, however, kept me full and satisfied. I didn't experience any cravings or hunger. I snacked on dates and pears when I got hungry between meals.
Day Two
On day two, I still felt good. I had another huge salad for lunch. For dinner, I made a banana and strawberry smoothie. The smoothie was simple to make. I put frozen bananas, strawberries, and water instead of using almond milk in my Ninja blender and boom! The smoothie was creamy and satisfied the sweet craving I was having. My husband had a hard time on day two because they ordered burgers for the office at work while he had to settle for eating his salad.
Day Three
I admit it. I made another damn salad for lunch. My husband was definitely over salads by then and had no problem letting me know it. He was beginning to get cranky on the diet, so I looked up hearty plant-based recipes and decided to make a shepherds pie for dinner. The shepherds pie was delicious and filling it. If you've had a traditional one, you know it's cheesy with either a ground beef or chicken inside of a medley of mixed vegetable and potatoes as its filling. I made mine with potatoes, mixed veggies, and mushrooms. It came out great, tasted delicious, and was enough for us to have on day four too.
Day Four
On day four, we had fruit smoothies with frozen bananas, pineapple, strawberries, and spinach for lunch and for dinner, leftover shepherd's pie. I also had a bowl of cantaloupe as a snack. By this time, I felt like I was really conquering the whole plant-based thing.
Day Five
On day five, for brunch, I made a smoothie bowl with frozen bananas, pineapple, strawberries, and coconut flakes on top. For dinner, I made mashed cauliflower, which is basically like mashed potatoes with a homemade gravy and mushrooms I made by making my own vegetable broth, sauteed spinach, and oven roasted carrots. It was pretty tasty. I snacked on dates and watermelon slices throughout the day.
Day Six
On day six, I made a potato skillet with sweet potatoes, onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, and spinach with sliced oranges on the side for brunch and spaghetti squash with homemade pasta sauce for dinner. The spaghetti squash is basically a huge squash and when you scrape out the insides, it closely resembles spaghetti. It came out tasting much better than I expected.
Day Seven
On our final day of the cleanse, I juiced a cucumber, apple, spinach, and ginger for breakfast and lunch. For dinner, I made sweet potatoes with cabbage and red beans on the side.
Results
The first change I noticed almost immediately. For as long as I can remember, whenever I woke up early, let's say before 7am, I would always feel nauseous. That went away almost immediately on this cleanse. In addition to that, I wouldn't have the itis or that stuffed feeling after meals. I still felt energized even after just eating, but was always satisfied. I also was not bloated at all. My face looked much slimmer, and so did my husband's, because we didn't have that swollen look that we often get from a standard American diet.
The next thing I noticed was I went to the bathroom a lot more, sometimes more than four times a day. TMI, but my body was definitely cleaning itself out and I felt great as a result! I also lost weight. At the end of the 7 days, I had lost 7 pounds while my husband lost ten. I'm assuming because I was already eating a mostly vegan/vegetarian diet, my body was already used to healthier eating than my hamburger, chicken and pizza-loving husband's body.
Another major change was cravings. The days during the cleanse and, even after, my body craved fruits and vegetables. Instead of craving unhealthy desserts or chips, my body literally craved salads and fruits every single day, which made me want to eat more healthy foods.
Finally, I was much more energized. As a freelancer, I spend a ton of time in my bed writing on my computer, which often times means daytime naps. I did the same work but I wasn't tired at all and had much more energy to get the things done that I usually try to put off until the next day. All in all, the cleanse was a success. I gave my body a much-needed break from processed foods, reset my cravings, lost a few pounds that have stayed off a few months later, and got my husband thinking about health and nutrition differently.
I love pastas and pizza and, while spaghetti squash noodles is a good pasta substitute, I still crave the real thing, so I probably won't be ditching my diet for a fully plant-based lifestyle anytime soon. But this is definitely a cleanse I will be doing several times throughout the year starting again this week.
If you want to learn more about the plant-based cleanse and meal plan I followed, you can visit the link here.
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Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, writer and spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on Twitter & Instagram.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Shrinking Yourself And Having A Fear Of Being Seen Are Signs Of This Response To Narcissism
Decisiveness is arguably a trait of nature vs. nurture. When you’ve been brought up in an environment that penalizes children for taking pride in themselves, it can manifest in your adult life in ways that fly under the radar. You may find yourself avoiding the spotlight, having the fear of being the center of attention, or shrinking yourself to make others feel more comfortable.
If you’ve found yourself adopting an agreeable, self-sacrificing personality, there may be a psychological reason behind it, and it’s called “echoism.”
What Is Echoism?
Echoism refers to a concept in psychology related to the patterns of behavior and traits exhibited by individuals who may be on the opposite end of the spectrum from narcissism. While narcissism is characterized by an excessive focus on oneself and a desire for admiration, echoism is considered the opposite, where individuals tend to be excessively focused on others, often at the expense of their own needs and desires.
The term was introduced by clinical psychologist, Craig Malkin, in his book Rethinking Narcissism and delved into the topic through additional articles for Psychology Today. As the author explains, “Where narcissists are addicted to feeling special, echoists are afraid of it. In the myth of Narcissus, Echo, the nymph who eventually falls madly in love with Narcissus, has been cursed to repeat back the last few words she hears. Like their namesake, echoists definitely struggle to have a voice of their own.”
People who exhibit echoist traits often prioritize the needs and feelings of others over their own to an extreme degree and can struggle with asserting themselves, setting boundaries, and may be overly accommodating to others.
Traits of an Echoist
The fear of coming off as “too needy” or expecting too much are driving forces in an echoist’s life. Echoists may go to great lengths to avoid conflict, even if it means suppressing their opinions. This can result in the individual having low self-esteem and regularly downplaying their own worth since they may not feel deserving of attention or recognition.
According to Healthline, individuals with elevated levels of echoism may:
- Prioritize meeting the needs of others while neglecting their own
- Believe conforming to others' desires will secure affection
- Strive to avoid burdening others
- Harbor a tendency towards self-blame and engage in regular self-criticism
- Make minimal demands of others
- Demonstrate high levels of empathy
How To Heal and Work Through Echoism
Identifying the cause of one’s echoism is an important step to healing the behavior. Experts say that this trait can develop in childhood when dealing with parents who struggle with emotional regulation or pass down their self-effacing values to their children.
In your early years, you may have coped with stress by soothing your parents at the expense of expressing your own needs. The constant focus on meeting others' needs could then leave little room to voice their own desires, leading to a loss of connection with one’s own aspirations.
Fearful that asking for things might upset the parents, young echoists may have found that avoiding burdening their parents was the best course of action, even at their own expense.
Taking the necessary action to heal echoism means developing a more balanced and assertive approach to relationships, where you prioritize your own needs without completely sacrificing your consideration for others. While it may take time to adjust to the change in behavior, there are steps to take in the process:
1. Set Healthy Boundaries
There’s nothing fun about setting boundaries, but they’re necessary to determine what is and is not okay in our relationship. When you set boundaries, we’re nothing just teaching others how to treat us, we’re teaching ourselves what we deserve. Practice saying "no" as a complete sentence and learn to establish and communicate healthy boundaries with those around you.
2. Practice Being Assertive
Take small moments throughout your daily interaction to practice speaking up for yourself and expressing your opinions and needs in an assertive, yet respectful way. Put your communication skills to the test and work to effectively convey your thoughts and feelings with close friends, family, or even co-workers when the situation presents itself.
3. Embody A “Star” Mentality
Going years denying yourself the joy of prioritizing your own needs and desires can take time to correct. Through your process to heal your echoism, remember that you are worthy of being seen and having your needs and desires heard. Gradually expose yourself to positive and affirming attention. When someone pays you compliments, hold it and say thank you without feeling the need to diminish it.
4. Learn To Love What You Like
An aspect of echoism is adopting people-pleasing tendencies, but it’s okay to be disagreed with if your preferences don’t match those around you. Our differences are what makes us who we are, and altering that to appease others only makes us feel smaller in the long run. Take time to identify and pursue your own personal goals, and have fun exploring your own interests and passions.
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