

To most of my friends in LA, I'm the healthy eater of the group. I'm the one who has all the vegan and vegetarian recipes under my belt, ready to whip out at a moment's notice. But to those who know me best, my husband for example, I'm a backsliding vegetarian-sometimes-vegan who is addicted to Fresh Brothers Pizza, saving up for a leather Louis Vuitton bag, and often have fried chicken and macaroni cravings! Don't judge me vegans, I'm getting there!
After noticing that I've gained a little bit of love weight over the years, I wanted to take back control of what I put into my body. You know what they say? Abs begin in the kitchen. But I digress. To address those concerns, my dear friend and licensed nutritionist Wilize (who is the Vegetarian Goddess that I look up to) asked me to try out her nutrition cleanse for one week. I happily obliged!
Before I started, I flooded her text messages with a million questions: What exactly is non-processed? Can I have rice? Can I eat Quinoa? Can I have bread? To my dismay, the answer to all of those questions was, "No." In short, if it wasn't a fruit or vegetable and wasn't in the produce section, I couldn't eat it during the cleanse.
What I could have was fruits and vegetables (cooked or uncooked), seasonings, cold-pressed olive oil, and coconut oil. I know what you're thinking, delicious. I know what I was thinking, I was limited and would definitely be deprived. But, I was determined to get into this cleanse, and after a few recipes from her and Pinterest, and with my husband in tow, I went seven whole days without processed foods, meat, and dairy. Here's how I did it:
Day One
So, I should start by saying I mostly do intermittent fasting. Meaning on a typical day, I'll only eat between the hours of 12pm-8pm. I'm usually not hungry in the morning and I like to give my body time to digest my food before I fill it up with more food, hence the reason why I don't usually eat breakfast. On the first day of my cleanse, I made huge salads for lunch. I bought bunches of romaine lettuce and cut a whole bunch into one salad, topped with beans, cucumbers, bell peppers, and homemade salsa. Trust, it was definitely filling.
For dinner, I used the same ingredients, minus the cucumbers, to make tacos with romaine lettuce as the shells. While we loved the salads, neither of us were big fans of the lettuce leaves for taco shells. Both meals, however, kept me full and satisfied. I didn't experience any cravings or hunger. I snacked on dates and pears when I got hungry between meals.
Day Two
On day two, I still felt good. I had another huge salad for lunch. For dinner, I made a banana and strawberry smoothie. The smoothie was simple to make. I put frozen bananas, strawberries, and water instead of using almond milk in my Ninja blender and boom! The smoothie was creamy and satisfied the sweet craving I was having. My husband had a hard time on day two because they ordered burgers for the office at work while he had to settle for eating his salad.
Day Three
I admit it. I made another damn salad for lunch. My husband was definitely over salads by then and had no problem letting me know it. He was beginning to get cranky on the diet, so I looked up hearty plant-based recipes and decided to make a shepherds pie for dinner. The shepherds pie was delicious and filling it. If you've had a traditional one, you know it's cheesy with either a ground beef or chicken inside of a medley of mixed vegetable and potatoes as its filling. I made mine with potatoes, mixed veggies, and mushrooms. It came out great, tasted delicious, and was enough for us to have on day four too.
Day Four
On day four, we had fruit smoothies with frozen bananas, pineapple, strawberries, and spinach for lunch and for dinner, leftover shepherd's pie. I also had a bowl of cantaloupe as a snack. By this time, I felt like I was really conquering the whole plant-based thing.
Day Five
On day five, for brunch, I made a smoothie bowl with frozen bananas, pineapple, strawberries, and coconut flakes on top. For dinner, I made mashed cauliflower, which is basically like mashed potatoes with a homemade gravy and mushrooms I made by making my own vegetable broth, sauteed spinach, and oven roasted carrots. It was pretty tasty. I snacked on dates and watermelon slices throughout the day.
Day Six
On day six, I made a potato skillet with sweet potatoes, onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, and spinach with sliced oranges on the side for brunch and spaghetti squash with homemade pasta sauce for dinner. The spaghetti squash is basically a huge squash and when you scrape out the insides, it closely resembles spaghetti. It came out tasting much better than I expected.
Day Seven
On our final day of the cleanse, I juiced a cucumber, apple, spinach, and ginger for breakfast and lunch. For dinner, I made sweet potatoes with cabbage and red beans on the side.
Results
The first change I noticed almost immediately. For as long as I can remember, whenever I woke up early, let's say before 7am, I would always feel nauseous. That went away almost immediately on this cleanse. In addition to that, I wouldn't have the itis or that stuffed feeling after meals. I still felt energized even after just eating, but was always satisfied. I also was not bloated at all. My face looked much slimmer, and so did my husband's, because we didn't have that swollen look that we often get from a standard American diet.
The next thing I noticed was I went to the bathroom a lot more, sometimes more than four times a day. TMI, but my body was definitely cleaning itself out and I felt great as a result! I also lost weight. At the end of the 7 days, I had lost 7 pounds while my husband lost ten. I'm assuming because I was already eating a mostly vegan/vegetarian diet, my body was already used to healthier eating than my hamburger, chicken and pizza-loving husband's body.
Another major change was cravings. The days during the cleanse and, even after, my body craved fruits and vegetables. Instead of craving unhealthy desserts or chips, my body literally craved salads and fruits every single day, which made me want to eat more healthy foods.
Finally, I was much more energized. As a freelancer, I spend a ton of time in my bed writing on my computer, which often times means daytime naps. I did the same work but I wasn't tired at all and had much more energy to get the things done that I usually try to put off until the next day. All in all, the cleanse was a success. I gave my body a much-needed break from processed foods, reset my cravings, lost a few pounds that have stayed off a few months later, and got my husband thinking about health and nutrition differently.
I love pastas and pizza and, while spaghetti squash noodles is a good pasta substitute, I still crave the real thing, so I probably won't be ditching my diet for a fully plant-based lifestyle anytime soon. But this is definitely a cleanse I will be doing several times throughout the year starting again this week.
If you want to learn more about the plant-based cleanse and meal plan I followed, you can visit the link here.
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Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, writer and spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on Twitter & Instagram.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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