What Sex Workers Need You To Know About Their Careers
The plight of sex workers is one that goes unnoticed by most of the world. Even after the government made the life-altering decision to enforce laws like Stop Enabling Sex Trafficking Act and Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act that have put sex workers directly back in harm's way by forcing some to market on the streets.
Each act has shown literally nothing that statistically exemplifies and validates the initial purpose of these senseless laws. On this path, it won't take long before acts such as the End Banking For Human Trafficking actually make the cut, which would permit further censorship and evoke greater safety issues for sex workers by forcing them to carry large sums of money with them, as banks would be authorized to close the accounts of sex workers at their own discretion.
In this world, black women and men both inside and outside of the sex industry are forced to share the shame of others. What happens to us is consequential of that learned shame, so I'm ready to debunk what you know to be true about sexuality as it pertains to sex workers in hopes it'll create a better sex space for all of us. To accomplish this, I scoured the internet, my network, and ultimately with the help of friends, I was able to find 6 sex workers of color with 6 different accounts of what the industry is like and what they want you to know about their careers in sex work.
Valentine
Pronouns:
She/ Her/They
Occupation(s):
"My occupation and focus as a sex worker is in queer porn, erotic modeling, and exotic dancing."
What has your time in the industry been like? How has FOSTA impacted you?
"My experience overall as a sex worker has been positive and well received. I've been really grateful to have the influence I've had in my immediate circles. Exposure through people and networking a ton to get gigs I feel passionate about. I understand that my particular look does limit me in a lot of ways and my body type is something that may not always be considered, but I ignore those aspects of it and focus on being someone who is representative of other models/performers that look similar to me and want to see that representation in the media.
"FOSTA is starting to rear its ugly head in my realm. I use social media quite a bit and it's starting to limit access to areas in which we can post erotic content. I feel like overall this affects everyone. Not just sex workers, but our clients, our markets, even people who are just using it for artistic expression. Even things [where] people aren't blatantly sexual in nature will probably start to be affected. So my modeling may be under fire soon enough."
"Sex work is something that gives someone autonomy, is accessible for the disabled, therapeutic, and I think people deep down really understand that and don't want to acknowledge it due to social grooming."
What should the world know about sex work?
"The one takeaway the world should understand about sex work is that it's always existed. It's an exchange between two people and should be respected as much as casual encounters or taking someone on a date. There's still expectation and money involved. And unfortunately sometimes consequences as a result of the two. Sex work is something that gives someone autonomy, is accessible for the disabled, therapeutic and I think people deep down really understand that and don't want to acknowledge it due to social grooming. We need to get out of our heads about it and take a hold of it. Other countries have learned to accept it. We need to catch up."
To read more, click "Next Page."
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Exclusive: Koryn Hawthorne On Her Miraculous Love Story: ‘I Was Never A Girlfriend’
Gospel singer Koryn Hawthorne has used her voice to let the world know about what God can do, and now the Season 8 finalist of NBC’s The Voice is sharing a miraculous act that led to her engagement.
The Praise This actress shared in an interview with xoNecole that prior to becoming engaged to her partner, Hunter Register, she passed over one particular title on her way to becoming a fiancée.
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“We've known each other since we were kids, so we just kind of always had this distant friendship. We would hit each other up on social media, and [I] slide up under things that he was posting,” she says. “We ended up hanging out together, and when we hung out, it was an instant immediate connection from all fronts. I think we just knew from the first day that I don't want to spend a day apart from you.”
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She continued, "And yeah, we probably were boyfriend or girlfriend after — am I delusional? Then we were engaged a few months later.”
The Grammy-nominated singer, who became engaged in November of 2023, went on to share what her experience has been preparing to become a wife, exploring the personal growth, challenges, and emotions experienced throughout the process.
“It's a journey, I'm not gonna lie,” she says. “Relationships, in general, are hard, and whenever you think about marriage, is just different from being boyfriend and girlfriend because if you piss me off, I could just go,” she shared. “But marriage is an actual commitment. It's a partnership. It's a ministry.”
Hawthorne, 26, and Register, 27, were childhood friends growing up in Louisiana and sealed their love during a weekend getaway in New Orleans last fall.
For the gospel star, marriage involves more than lovely-dovey aspects, emphasizing how her relationship has allowed her to grow, mature, and learn valuable lessons through love.
“We were supposed to get married in May, but like for us to be mature enough to be like, ‘You know what? No, let's take the necessary time to make sure that we're fully prepared for this commitment such a beautiful thing,” Hawthorne reflected.
“It's a learning curve for sure, but our preparation for marriage would have been the only thing that brought this out of me. It's hard and it's scary at times, but it's God's purpose and His plan for our lives.”
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