
Mashonda Tifrere On The Importance Of Self-Inflicted Solitary Confinement

Mashonda Tifrere is working overtime.
The Harlem native, who made a name for herself on the scene, had a lucrative career as an R&B artist spanning almost two decades with extensive appearances on songs by hip hop artists like Jay-Z, Cassidy, and the like. In 2009, her personal life was thrust in the spotlight after separating from her husband and having to pick up the pieces of a broken marriage.
Following the dark and tumultuous period in her life, Mashonda felt inspired to embark on a spiritual evolution that focused on self-empowerment and conscious parenting. She set her sights on something greater – herself. She made the decision to dig deep and explore self-love in order to refocus and eliminate unhealthy lifestyle habits.
“As I reflect on my healing, I realize that my peace was never lost. There were times when I pushed it to the side and instead opted to focus on my ego and all of the things that didn't serve my spirit well; but every time I found stillness, my peace would reappear.”
Today, the songwriter turned author has made it her mission to help others uncover and realize their own power and potential. She created Lifestyleher, a platform meant to act as a safe haven for female evolution and to empower millennial women to create bold and honest content by women for women.
THL recently sat down with the beautiful mother of one to discuss her metamorphosis. Follow along as we learn more about Mashonda’s millennial woman’s movement, latest book project, partnership with BeyGOOD + MORE.
THL: You have spoken about the importance of "empowering yourself within." What does that look like for a woman who has no clue on how to mentally and emotionally transform?
Mashonda: It looks like self-inflicted solitary confinement, taking all the time you need to be alone with yourself until you are comfortable there, investing in self-care, and knowing what it is that you want to give back to the universe. For me, helping others recognize their strengths always made me feel empowered.
[Tweet "Take all the time you need to be alone with yourself until you are comfortable there."]
THL: How have you found peace and healing through emotional trauma and life challenges?
Mashonda: As I reflect on my healing, I realize that my peace was never lost. There were times when I pushed it to the side and instead opted to focus on my ego and all of the things that didn't serve my spirit well; but every time I found stillness, my peace would appear, effortlessly. Most of the time it's just us fighting our own good, holding ourselves back, and being our worst enemy. Healing came with time and a lot of effort to want to heal. I write extensively about the art of healing in my upcoming book. In order for someone to truly heal, one must take apart all of the pieces of oneself and keep only the pieces that add to their human evolution. It's a technique and it takes courage and patience.
THL: What tools or resources have you adopted over the years to help transform your life holistically?
Mashonda:
- Meditation – At the very least, 5 to 10 minutes a day of meditation will help you align yourself to the energies around you.
- Pilates and core strengthening – A strong core will physically give you balance in any situation. Pilates trains you to breathe into specific areas of your body.
- Breathing – Learning how to breathe through pain or discomfort is very important. Conscious breathing can be a valuable tool in helping to restore balance, reduce anxiety and depression, and relax muscles.
- Aromatherapy and floral essences – Learning how to use oils to help you shift your mood and energy, this is a natural way to heal. Flower essences have played a huge role in my journey to self-care. Flower essences are herbal infusions, or decoctions, made from the flowering part of the plant, which uniquely address emotional and mental aspects of wellness. I've watched my life transform because of this energetic imprint of the life force of plants. I use Bach Essences and Doterra Oils.
THL: How would you advise women to demonstrate maturity, dignity, and forgiveness post-relationship trauma?
Mashonda: As women, we must recognize our powers. We are magical beings, supremely balanced with an amazing intuition. We must first forgive ourselves - only then will we have the ability to forgive others - and that's the beginning of demonstrating maturity and dignity. We feed our minds with this idea that others can hurt us, forgetting that we own that power to either control our emotions or let others control them. Post-relationship trauma is natural. It takes time to process these experiences. I've learned that pain is a seed for growth. It's never too late begin again.
[Tweet "As women, we must recognize our power. We are magical beings."]
THL: You are working on a new book project Blend: The Modern Day Family. Can you describe the steps you took to create a healthy, happy blended family dynamic?
Mashonda: The steps include time, patience, and understanding. Understanding that everyone has different views and values, being patient with yourself and the others involved, and doing all of this in the name of love - love for yourself and all the children involved. The name and direction of the book has recently changed. I realized that my story is broader than blending families. It's about healing and being the best version of yourself so that you can properly raise the soul you brought into the world.
THL: What advice would the mature, conscious Mashonda Tifrere tell the younger "Mashonda" 10 or 15 years ago?
Mashonda: Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Fear is an illusion. Live in the present moment. Trust your instinct, if it doesn't feel right, it is not right.
[Tweet "Fear is an illusion. Live in the present moment."]
Originally posted on The Holistic Lioness
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Aries and Aquarius have an instant attraction and connection with each other. The Aries woman finds the Aquarius man intriguing, intelligent, and even a little mysterious. The Aquarius man sees the Aries woman as confident in her own skin, free-spirited, and someone who is dedicated to love, life, and the relationship.
Aries Woman and Aquarius Man Love Compatibility
There aren’t many faults to this pairing, and this is a couple that can last the long haul if their egos don’t get in the way of the relationship and the connection. Aries and Aquarius are the type of couple to support each other no matter what, and they are also quite playful with each other. These two are drawn to each other and make a happy and dynamic couple overall, as they both try to make the best out of life.
What attracts an Aquarius man to an Aries woman?
Aries and Aquarius are attracted to each other’s energy first and foremost. Although they move at different speeds, they value the energy that each is putting out there and they have a unique synergy together. Both Aries and Aquarius are more yang than yin and this brings a lot of excitement to the relationship. With both of them being more outgoing and free-spirited- this is a fun connection.
Aries is intrigued by Aquarius’ intellect and openness, and Aquarius loves to see Aries shine and take charge. The sexual chemistry between these two is off the charts and they are a couple that isn’t afraid to show how they feel.
What is the relationship like between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man?
The relationship between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man is one where there is always something happening. These two aren’t ones to push things to the side and they confront life head-on. This leaves a unique vulnerability and openness between the two, and the relationship tends to grow quickly. This couple is dynamic, original, and empowered.
Although, with a fire and air sign duo drama is especially likely, and tension can be thick between the two as well if things become shaky. If they can learn to handle minor disagreements when they happen, this will lead to fewer blow-ups in the relationship. Overall, however, these two often just get each other and move through life together well.
What is the sex like between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man?
As mentioned above, the sexual chemistry between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man is one of the best of the best. An Aquarius man does not open up to everyone easily, but something is enticing about Aries to Aquarius and they are ready to risk it all for them. An Aries and Aquarius sex life is passionate and progressive, and Aries tends to take charge here. They like to switch it up and try new things in bed, and their sexual chemistry does not burn out easily. An Aries woman seems to always have energy at her disposal and an Aquarius man likes when Aries takes charge here.
What makes a relationship between an Aquarius woman and an Aries man work?
The relationship between an Aries woman and Aquarius man works because they understand each other on a level that most don’t. Both of these signs value their freedom, independence, and authenticity, leaving enough breathing room for them both to feel comfortable emotionally. This isn’t the type of couple to smother each other, and they often build a strong network of community and friendships around them that they both like to spend time with together. Aries and Aquarius are a fun couple who values each other’s company.
The thing about both Aries and Aquarius is that they are both the type of people to stick up for someone and have someone’s back. This is the type of energy they put into their relationship as well, and they are the type of people to be there for each other through it all. Nothing is too weird or unusual for Aries and Aquarius, and they create a safe space within the relationship for both individuals to feel comfortable opening up, being vulnerable, and living in the heart space.
What may cause an Aries woman and an Aquarius man to break up?
The downfall of this duo is that they are both strong-willed and often don’t see themselves as being wrong or at fault. Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, is a leader naturally. Aquarius despises the idea of following anything or anyone, and will often try to challenge Aries' ideas and perspectives, no matter how innocent they may be. Egos are likely to clash from time to time with this duo as they both have strong ones.
Aries can also be quite possessive over their partners and this is the worst possible thing that can happen to freedom-loving Aquarius in a relationship. They can have difficulty feeling seen by one another at times even though they have many similarities, and when challenges do arise, things can get tricky. Things can get heated between the two, as energies can clash. Aries will want to address any issues head-on, and Aquarius doesn’t want to go there and will prefer to escape or focus on something else entirely. They both tend to have short attention spans as well, which can lead the relationship to trouble if not worked through.
Summary: Is an Aquarius man compatible with an Aries woman?
Aries and Aquarius are one of the best duos in Astrology. Air signs and fire signs often have this unique chemistry that is interesting not only to be in but to witness as well. These two often meet serendipitously and spend a lot of their time keeping up with this type of energy and enjoying their life together. Even if things get stressful, whether that be from life in general or the relationship, there is enough chemistry and connection here to help them overcome these times.
Overall, the compatibility is strong here and even when challenges do arise, the passion and true love is there to help navigate the relationship. This is a couple that wants to have fun, travel, spend time with friends, and be the best power couple they can be. This is a charming relationship where they both encourage each other and help each other grow in many ways. The love is definitely there, and this is a relationship in which they are both willing to fight for each other.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Diamond Dogs/Getty Images
Originally published on March 21, 2023