Mashonda Tifrere On The Importance Of Self-Inflicted Solitary Confinement

Culture & Entertainment

Mashonda Tifrere is working overtime.

The Harlem native, who made a name for herself on the scene, had a lucrative career as an R&B artist spanning almost two decades with extensive appearances on songs by hip hop artists like Jay-Z, Cassidy, and the like. In 2009, her personal life was thrust in the spotlight after separating from her husband and having to pick up the pieces of a broken marriage.

Following the dark and tumultuous period in her life, Mashonda felt inspired to embark on a spiritual evolution that focused on self-empowerment and conscious parenting. She set her sights on something greater – herself. She made the decision to dig deep and explore self-love in order to refocus and eliminate unhealthy lifestyle habits.

“As I reflect on my healing, I realize that my peace was never lost. There were times when I pushed it to the side and instead opted to focus on my ego and all of the things that didn't serve my spirit well; but every time I found stillness, my peace would reappear.”

Today, the songwriter turned author has made it her mission to help others uncover and realize their own power and potential. She created Lifestyleher, a platform meant to act as a safe haven for female evolution and to empower millennial women to create bold and honest content by women for women.

THL recently sat down with the beautiful mother of one to discuss her metamorphosis. Follow along as we learn more about Mashonda’s millennial woman’s movement, latest book project, partnership with BeyGOOD + MORE.

THL: You have spoken about the importance of "empowering yourself within." What does that look like for a woman who has no clue on how to mentally and emotionally transform?

Mashonda: It looks like self-inflicted solitary confinement, taking all the time you need to be alone with yourself until you are comfortable there, investing in self-care, and knowing what it is that you want to give back to the universe. For me, helping others recognize their strengths always made me feel empowered.

[Tweet "Take all the time you need to be alone with yourself until you are comfortable there."]

THL: How have you found peace and healing through emotional trauma and life challenges?

Mashonda: As I reflect on my healing, I realize that my peace was never lost. There were times when I pushed it to the side and instead opted to focus on my ego and all of the things that didn't serve my spirit well; but every time I found stillness, my peace would appear, effortlessly. Most of the time it's just us fighting our own good, holding ourselves back, and being our worst enemy. Healing came with time and a lot of effort to want to heal. I write extensively about the art of healing in my upcoming book. In order for someone to truly heal, one must take apart all of the pieces of oneself and keep only the pieces that add to their human evolution. It's a technique and it takes courage and patience.

THL: What tools or resources have you adopted over the years to help transform your life holistically?


  • Meditation – At the very least, 5 to 10 minutes a day of meditation will help you align yourself to the energies around you.

  • Pilates and core strengthening – A strong core will physically give you balance in any situation. Pilates trains you to breathe into specific areas of your body.

  • Breathing – Learning how to breathe through pain or discomfort is very important. Conscious breathing can be a valuable tool in helping to restore balance, reduce anxiety and depression, and relax muscles.

  • Aromatherapy and floral essences – Learning how to use oils to help you shift your mood and energy, this is a natural way to heal. Flower essences have played a huge role in my journey to self-care. Flower essences are herbal infusions, or decoctions, made from the flowering part of the plant, which uniquely address emotional and mental aspects of wellness. I've watched my life transform because of this energetic imprint of the life force of plants. I use Bach Essences and Doterra Oils.

THL: How would you advise women to demonstrate maturity, dignity, and forgiveness post-relationship trauma? 

Mashonda: As women, we must recognize our powers. We are magical beings, supremely balanced with an amazing intuition. We must first forgive ourselves - only then will we have the ability to forgive others - and that's the beginning of demonstrating maturity and dignity. We feed our minds with this idea that others can hurt us, forgetting that we own that power to either control our emotions or let others control them. Post-relationship trauma is natural. It takes time to process these experiences. I've learned that pain is a seed for growth. It's never too late begin again.

[Tweet "As women, we must recognize our power. We are magical beings."]

THL: You are working on a new book project Blend: The Modern Day Family. Can you describe the steps you took to create a healthy, happy blended family dynamic?

Mashonda: The steps include time, patience, and understanding. Understanding that everyone has different views and values, being patient with yourself and the others involved, and doing all of this in the name of love - love for yourself and all the children involved. The name and direction of the book has recently changed. I realized that my story is broader than blending families. It's about healing and being the best version of yourself so that you can properly raise the soul you brought into the world.

THL: What advice would the mature, conscious Mashonda Tifrere tell the younger "Mashonda" 10 or 15 years ago?

Mashonda: Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Fear is an illusion. Live in the present moment. Trust your instinct, if it doesn't feel right, it is not right.

[Tweet "Fear is an illusion. Live in the present moment."]

Originally posted on The Holistic Lioness

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