We Skipped A Big Wedding To Buy Our Dream Home
My husband and I have always been a practical pair.
In matters of the heart, practicality often comes up as the victor, even ahead of logic. What has always rang most true for us is what works best for us. We don't follow the law of the land, instead, we make our own. This year marked the tenth year anniversary since my husband and partner of 16 years said “I do."
Even then, he and I took the practical approach. While every bride-to-be is consumed with wedding planning details, racking up wish list items on gift registries, solidifying venues, choosing plate options for their guests of 25+ - he and I might of wanted some of that, but knew we didn't need any of it. We were the same couple who started living together as soon as a month into dating, just because it made the most sense with maximizing our income in New Orleans, where we grew up.
It was three years into our relationship when we revisited the conversation around what it would look like to build a life together. Although it included marriage, it also included home ownership.
We got really real with one another and knew we could not do both.
Neither one of us came from money. In fact, he was swimming in college debt, as was I. And when we visited a mortgage broker, I learned I was the victim of identity theft for eight years. My first lesson in credit was when I learned a relative burned mine down to a score of 345 out of 800.
Once we learned this information, all of our energy was focused on repairing my credit and any wedding plans were placed on the shelf. We were focused, and our end goal was home ownership. We decided owning a home made the most sense, especially not knowing the future of our young relationship. We decided the best plan of action would help both of us level up, and if our partnership fizzled, we'd at least walk away with more funds in our bank accounts.
That was always the plan for our relationship, to not lock one another in and to instead position both of us to end up better than we were when we found one another.
Introduction to Investing
After seven months of working with our realtor to purchase our dream fixer upper in our favorite New Orleans neighborhood, we closed and called the home ours. Two days later, we learned Hurricane Katrina was on the way, and we evacuated a day later, leaving our fully furnished apartment and our not yet inhabited first house.
A year later—11 years ago to date, in fact—he proposed when we returned to have our house gutted in New Orleans. It was the sweetest end to a stressful trip. A year after that, we eloped.
It seemed selfish and a bit financially reckless to host a grandiose party or to put our friends in a position to travel from wherever they evacuated and landed after Katrina to join us for a wedding. The thought of having people purchase dressy clothes and shoes, spend money on hair, makeup, travel, and gifts felt absurd. So we put the kibosh on that, ordered our first passports, and left for Negril, Jamaica.
To be fair, we decided not to invite anyone. As soon as that decision was made, I released the greatest sigh of relief. I purchased my non-traditional wedding dress from the Armani outlet store for $35. My childhood girlfriend gifted me with earrings. The husband purchased a white guayabera shirt and wore pants he already owned. We could wear all the items again and as many times as we wanted. And we skipped the purchase of shoes because a beach wedding was happening.
I also didn't want to make any decisions about the day. Guys typically don't have to decide anything. And after planning events in my career before, I just didn't want to have to be on duty for my special day. And I didn't have to. The resort had a 30-minute checklist we'd complete.
Playing the Long Game
I said it then and have said it several times since my wedding day, eloping was the best decision we made to walk into the next chapter of our relationship. Our two weeks in Negril totaled to $5,000. My paternal family sponsored our flights with points. The groom's family covered half the cost of our time in Jamaica and it was the only time we ever asked them for support.
It was the easiest and most sustainable decision to have a weddingmoon, instead of two separate and way more expensive events. As a practical pair, the husb and I always plan for the long game.
And here we are, a decade later, still making fiscally responsible decisions, growing stronger together, and we'll be moving into our fifth real estate investment in about three months.
Christine Moline is a New Orleans born, Austin-based productivity consultant and digital organizer with Dashboard Priorities. She explores and offers sustainable strategies to help others maximize their resources—such as time, energy and finances—to put themselves first.
- 10 Things You Could Buy With The Money You'd Save By Eloping ›
- Want to save money on your wedding? Why not elope? - NY Daily ... ›
- Couples Who Elope Enjoy the Party Later - Field Notes - The New ... ›
- Elope Abroad - How to Create an Elopement Budget and Save Money ›
- 21 Couples Who Decided To Elope And Are Damn Glad They Did ... ›
- Can You Save Money Eloping? Here Are 5 Ways! - Wedding for $1000 ›
- Want a Fabulous Wedding? Consider Eloping - The New York Times ›
- Eloping: 7 Biggest Do's and Don'ts | Brides ›
- We Eloped & Saved a Ton of Money ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage