This Is Why Teyana Taylor Deleted Her Instagram Before Releasing Her Album
If you haven't heard it today, I'll be the first person to say it: the female species is f*cking phenomenal. As women of color, we are tasked with wearing so many masks that we sometimes forget who we genuinely are. Our roles are multifaceted and are not to be taken lightly. We create humans, pursue ambitious careers, support the ones we love, and still find time and energy at the end of the day to be exemplary lovers.
Now that we've finally garnered the opportunity to utilize our power, we put the world on notice that the future is female, and so is the present. One of the women that are helping to create that culture is Teyana Taylor, the badass mommy mogul who is out to revolutionize R&B (while also raising a toddler, running a business, and being a wife to a basketball superstar).
Upon releasing her new album, the 27-year-old entertainer opened up to Coveteur about how she balances her multifaceted personal and professional lives. Teyana has consistently pursued a career as a performing artist but has her hand in a number of different industries. Her Harlem-based salon, Junie Bee Nails, is one of the many businesses of which Teyana has a lead role, including her fitness program Fade2Fit.
It leads me to wonder if women like Beyonce and Teyana have the same 24 hours in a day as the rest of us, but Teyana confirmed it. They do. And Teyana says that the key to mastering your 24 hours is surrounding yourself with nothing but positive energy. No matter how many different hustles she pursues, she makes sure that positivity is consistent because that way, even if you hit a bump in the road, you can recognize that the obstacle wasn't the most important part of the journey. She said:
"If you've got positive energy, you can always feel good. My plane was late [today], but I got here, I got my makeup on, and I feel good because of positive energy. Positive thinking, too. I miss my kid, and I know I get to see her tonight, so that's got me super excited and feeling good."
Part of discerning vibes is limiting your accessibility to the world. Teyana said that to create a life worth falling in love with, she had to first eliminate her social media presence. Her upcoming album release required her full focus and concentration, leading her to temporarily delete her Instagram. Since then, she's returned to the 'Gram to slay us with promo for her new album, but said that she needed to temporarily rid herself of all distractions to ensure the album's perfection.
"I deleted my Instagram because [my label was] pretty much telling me to fall back on posting snippets [of my album]. I was like, Look, the only way that's going to happen is if I delete my account. I understand that it's only seven songs, so if I keep posting then the album will be out before it's out. Most importantly though, I wanted to really lock in. Instagram can be a distraction. After seeing all the positive feedback and all the love [the album] was getting, it kind of made me more nervous, because now this shit really gotta be lit. It is lit, but there are people who put you on a pedestal, and I have to live up to that. It was really time to get focused—I really want to take this time to make sure this album is perfect. I owe it to them, you know what I'm saying? It was more about taking that break, focusing on what's important, and coming back when it's time for this album to drop. We're two weeks away—it's time to lock in."
The comment section can be addictive, and Teyana said she no longer wanted to give in to the craving. When people give their opinion on you, it is usually a reflection of how they feel about themselves in that moment. Our social media accounts give us the opportunity to be publishers and philosophers in our own right, and Teyana knew that it was time to focus on developing her own perception of herself. She told Coveteur:
"It's just like, Calm your ass down, Teyana. Damn. I still have to be a mom, I still have to be a wife. I can't be caught up in reading comments."
As a wife, mother, business owner, and worldwide entertainment superstar, Teyana Taylor is proof that women are actually superhuman, and that with some positive vibes and a little bit of flavor, we have all of the power in the world. That is, as long as we can stay out of the comment section.
To read the full article, click here.
Featured image by Michael A Walker Jr / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images