Summer Walker Reminds Us You Can’t Change A Man, He Has To Want It For Himself

There's something about Summer Walker that has many of us with one hand over our eyes while watching her like a car wreck and in the next moment saying, "Same, sis." If it's not her beauty and talent, then it's her turbulent relationship with beau and the future father of her unborn child, London On Da Track. Summer, who recently confirmed her pregnancy with the successful music producer, is one of the hottest R&B artists out at the moment, and from the outside looking in, it should be a musical match made in heaven. However, as the two are both seemingly fighting their own demons, the off-and-on relationship has been everything but.

Summer Walker/Instagram
Summer and London's relationship is one that requires us to sit back and think about our standards and values as we watch their romantic lives unfold online. Among others, questions come up like, "How many times have I let a partner get away with treating me in a way that was less than I deserved?" or "How many times did I think if I just loved someone a little harder, I could change them?" Well, I can tell you at Summer's age (she's 24), my love life was a hot ass mess so I'm not here to shade her nor anyone else figuring out love. However, I am reminded of a lesson I learned and relearned while navigating love and relationships: you can't change a man, he has to want to change himself. The moment I find myself trying to change a man is the moment I need to direct energy back to myself.
Although she might have seen the signs that London could potentially be just as absent with their child as he is with his others, Summer would often defend him. Recently, the "Girls Need Love" songstress expressed her truth in the situation via a variety of posts on her Instagram stories:
"I tried to get him to spend time with his other kids as much as I could. He ain't want to because he's selfish. I tried to get his baby mama's to let him see the kids, they didn't want to cause they was bitter and hated me for no reason. I tried to get everybody to just get the f-ck along like one big happy family and instead, everyone just want's to sh-t on me and now I just have the sh-t end of the stick...
She continued:
"Black men gotta start doing better when it comes to being a father. My grandfather lame, my father lame, and dis n*gga lame. I guess the cycle will just continue. I guess n*ggas still dealing with the shackles of mental slavery or some sh-t, back when white men ripped you from your families and beat you to death if you tried to protect them. It goes deep. Sh-t's really sad.
"But that's how it goes when everybody spiritually and mentally undeveloped. Idk wtf I was thinking.
"But at least I can afford to take care of my child."
Summer Walker think she exposing London, but she really exposing herself and that she was cool sleeping with a man who was deadbeat to 3 separate kids until her child was one of the ones being neglected. SMH
— Qᴜᴇᴇɴ ᴏғ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ (@KorySKirk) November 28, 2020
If you are thinking, "What in the Future is going on here?", you aren't alone, sis is probably asking herself the same question. Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, the way that you allow a person to treat you is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. It is easy to observe that if Summer with all that she's accomplished, all of her potential, feels most valuable when she is out here hustling for her worth in her romantic relationship, she has a lot of work to do.
Regardless i hate manipulative men who are all around trash and narcissistic (for no reason). Spreading your seed shouldn’t be a stamp of approval to your ego you turkey baster. Ground yourself... get a therapist maybe? Then your kids won’t grow up resenting you
— astro girl (@therealkimj) November 28, 2020
If not for herself, then for her child that will be affected the most looking into the brokenness of their mother trying to find their reflection. This appears to be a very deep-rooted issue with self-value mixed with the terror of venturing out completely on her own. The pivot to a therapist's couch isn't an impossible one to make, just a little harder with a baby in her belly and her Bob-the-Builder tool belt on.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you can't change that man, sis. You can only change yourself.
All of this is unfortunate. But she’ll get it together. She has no choice now
— sagitterrrrrrroist (@Jahniquexo) November 28, 2020
Summer is making the best first step: admitting that there is a problem. She is with a man who has his fair share of issues in fatherhood and relationships. She did forge full speed ahead into a lifelong commitment with a man while ignoring all the red flags and writing on the wall. She did think that if she just loved someone outside of herself just a little bit harder she could change them. She's just like us, or like me for what it's worth, and she has the power to change her life if she so chooses.
It's never too late to level up sis and attract a love that you truly deserve.
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Featured image by Instagram/Summer Walker
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Jon B. Talks New Album, 18-Year Marriage & Being A Girl Dad
Since 1995, Jon B. has been entertaining us with his soulful voice, belting out R&B classics like “They Don’t Know” and “Someone to Love.” Despite his immense success, Jon decided to prioritize his family and take a step back from the music scene. He got married, and together, he and his wife had daughters. While he didn’t release any new music during this period, Jon remained dedicated to his fans by touring and maintaining his connection with them.
"I'm raising two daughters," he tells xoNecole exclusively. "One is 11 now, and one is 18, and both need their dad. Besides being a father, a rock star on the weekends, and a husband of 18 years, the real thing that kept me the busiest over the last 10 years was the road, keeping the bread on the table, and staying with my fans. Nevertheless, connecting with the fans and keeping that relationship alive. Regardless of whether I was on the radio every five minutes or whatnot. I just wanted to keep that relationship alive, and the best way to do that is just go and perform."
A decade later, Jon B. dropped a new album, WAITING on YOU. The album title alone is a nod to fans who have been waiting on him to release new music. The "Are You Still Down" singer collaborated with Rick Ross, Alex Isley, Tank, and Donell Jones on the album, giving fans a little bit of everything.
"Compiling this album was a labor of love because it was me sort of picking the gems. I wrote so many songs over the last 30 years. I wanted to go back and dust some old gems off and see if I can rework these records," he says. "Some of them are kind of reworks from back in the day, from back in the late '90s. I just kind of love the beat. One of the songs on my album is a vintage cut. I'll call it a vintage cut because I did it in '98. It's a song called "Pick Me Up."
"There's a little bit of the old and a little bit of the new, but WAITING on YOU, I felt was an appropriate name for the album, being that it was 10 years and it's really about my relationship that I have with my fans. Not only is it the relationship I have with my wife and my children, it's the extended relationship I have with with you guys, the listeners."
"There's a little bit of the old and a little bit of the new, but WAITING on YOU, I felt was an appropriate name for the album, being that it was 10 years and it's really about my relationship that I have with my fans."
His wife and kids are his biggest supporters and he shared that they sometimes give their opinion on his music. When it comes to his relationship with his wife, he says communication and patience are the keys to lasting. "I don't mean to sound like Dr. Phil up in here, but 18 years, going on 19, and it's like, I'm not counting, but I guess we're doing something right because we're very happy people," he says.
"I'm making music that reflects what I feel in my heart, which is pretty cool to share with the world now as a grown ass man instead of a guy who was growing up and had an old soul and I was figuring stuff out. I'm grateful for those records, but I really feel like these records are like a guy celebrating everything that I've been blessed to experience so far."
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