GOAL-Digger: Here's Why Tiffney Cambridge Is More Than Just A "Rapper's Ex"
Tiffney Cambridge might just be bringing the "modest woman" back in style. Not that they ever went anywhere, and not that the worlds between role models and "Instagram models" can't co-exist, but with the way social media and reality TV is set up these days, it's as if being a woman with a few values is the equivalent of a major fashion faux-pas.
I recently had the chance to speak to Ms. Cambridge--teacher, author and the only woman to ever publicly own the rights to the notoriously bad-boy bachelor and rapper, "The Game's," heart. As always, a talk with Tiff is always a "break-out-the-wine, keep it real but keep it cute at the same time," experience, and this moment was no different.
In between getting off work and picking the kids up from school, the lovely Ms. Cambridge opened up about her split from The Game (real name: Jayceon Taylor), as well as her life as a career woman, and the importance of having her your own. She also responded to The Game's most recent claims that all the good women are too busy working, and his track with rapper Future called 'Dedicated,' and much more.
It's safe to say, she set the bar high for who The Game will ultimately end up with.
Check it out below:
How important is it to you--both as an author and as a teacher of course and a businesswoman overall--to have a career although you do have this support and help from your children's father, The Game?
I think it is very important. I have been teaching for 18 years. And even though Jayceon and I have had a relationship for the past 11, I never stopped working. Even when I was doing the reality show Marrying the Game, and I had that extra income, I never stopped working. Even when things were good between the two of us, I never stopped working. And I think now that we're not together, you can clearly see why that's important!
You have to establish your own identity. You have to be able to create your own income. You have to be able to take care of yourself.
It has always been important to me to be self-sufficient, my mother raised me that way. My grandmother raised my mother that way--to never depend on a man to provide everything for you. Because then what if you find yourself in a situation where you are no longer with that man, it's like, then what do you do? Even though I'm not in a situation where I'm in a relationship with my child's father, I'm still able to maintain my lifestyle.
Speaking of working, I don't know if you heard, but Jayceon recently gave a shoutout to the independent woman, while implying that he's still single because, "All the real women are in the workplace," when he went on The Breakfast Club. What are your thoughts on him saying that?
I think it's interesting. Knowing Jayceon and the type of person that he is, knowing the type of women that he deals and has dealt with in the past, he is not going to be interested past a certain visual or past maybe a fling with any woman that is not really career minded or career oriented.
Game on his new dating show, 'She's Got Game'
"He'll play with you. Have a couple of dates with you, maybe give you a little exposure by means of dating you or whatever. But that's where it is going to stop with him. I don't think he takes women seriously period, in my opinion. He is named 'Game' for a reason."
I feel he is very attractive and very marketable to a certain extent for women that are interested in living that type of lifestyle, the rock and roll lifestyle for lack of a better word. But I feel also that he doesn't, at all, take 95 percent of the women he dates seriously. It's a joke to him.
As a matter of fact, one time, we were in a conversation about his choices in women, and he told me, 'These women to me are like dishrags. I wipe my forehead off with them, I wipe my counter off with them, and then I'm done with them.' That was really what he said. And I think his behavior towards the women that he associates himself with are very indicative of that.
The women that I have known him to be respectful towards or to be serious about, I can name them on one hand. And they're none of the women that we have seen him out lately with.
You did say, though, that you feel it is difficult for him to get close to any woman. Do you feel there is a flaw in his "the real woman are in the workplace" concept? Because sometimes passing time with certain women makes you pass on a good opportunity.
I agree. He has had the privilege of traveling all around and so the access and the availability of women to him is there. And I think that it takes a level of strength, and a level of discipline and maturity to be able to say, 'Yes, you're pretty, and yes you have a nice body; however, this is what I have at home,' and I'm not sure, at this point, if he's at that level in his growth process.
As a career woman, how true do you think it is that sometimes we do get in our own way of dating? For example, have you been able to find a balance between career and dating? And how important do you think it is for women to find a balance?
Tiffany with her daughter, Cali
I think that for me, I may be a little guilty of that, because since the book has been out, and I have a full-time job and I am a full-time mother, my time for dating is limited.
My goal right now is to be a positive role model to my five-year-old daughter (Calilynn Dream Taylor), to my eight-year-old son (King Justice Taylor) and to be there for them. I also have 30 kids [students] looking at me every day. They look to me for an example. So sometimes you do get caught up in that and you forgot about yourself and you forget about going out and seeing what other opportunities there are for you.
I think that we as women our lives are programmed when we have kids and when we work. It's just like doing the same thing every single day and you do lose yourself, but it is important to take some out for yourself and to really just enjoy yourself and to enjoy life and enjoy other relationships.
So Game has this song with Future called, "Dedicated." And we all feel it is about the lovely Ms. Tiffney. It's not a bad song, but it is a "strong" song and an emotional one to say the least. He does allude to the fact that you may be dating now. Are you? And what is that like for you, being a mother who is about her business who also co-parents and dates?
I think the insinuation that Jayceon made about the song was just really trying to compare his situation to Future's situation [with Ciara]. They're friends and colleagues and he can see probably a similarity with the direction that Ciara moved in and the direction that I would move in. And I feel that is where the song came.
"I commend Ciara for being able to step out of a situation with her child's father, a man that she had a child with and was obviously in love with, but the lifestyle wasn't for her. So she went from Future to this man that has values, and has morals, and that respects her.
I feel like that is Jayceon's perception of what will end up happening in our relationship.
That was a very nice answer. I like that--I see what you did there.
[laughs] Yes ma'am to Ciara! I have them posted on my Instagram, very royally. Because I feel that is exactly what should happen. I think when you go through a situation that is very unbecoming of you, very unbecoming of the lifestyle that you want for yourself and for your child or children, and then you are able to come out of that and put yourself and align yourself who is more in tuned with that you feel is appropriate in a relationship-- you go girl! And that is all I have to say about that!
When you have been in a relationship for a long period of time, you know what another person deserves. You know what they are capable of having. You know what they are able to attract. So I think the knowledge of that lead Jayceon to create the song with Future. I think the references to me validate my point. He knows what my expectations are in a relationship and you're going to either meet them or not. And that's it.
(Go to page 2 to find out what Tiffney had to say about being referred to The Game's "older ex," not believing in fighting for a man and what's next for her!)
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Have You Heard Of The 4B Movement? Here's Why It Matters.
Depending on what side of TikTok you’re on, you’ve been seeing an uptick in content about the 4B Movement. In response to South Korea having the world’s lowest birth rate, TikTok user @denimchromosome gave a brief synopsis of the movement on February 16. “Korean women are so done with Korean men that they’re literally just deciding to die out," she said in her post.
While the video is only 30 seconds, this user broke the movement down to its essence and sparked a broader conversation for people to fully dive into knowledge about the movement and why some Korean women have decided to fully commit to this push for gender equality and social justice.
What Is the 4B Movement?
The 4B Movement gained notoriety and prevalence in 2019 when a collective of Korean feminists decided they would no longer marry men (비혼 bihon), have children (비출산 bichulsan), date men (비연애 biyeonae), or have sex with men (비섹스 bisekseu). The name of the movement came from all four agreements, starting with the letter B in Korean. The women who have chosen to participate in this movement are doing so as a result of the blatant misogyny that exists in their society.
They are challenging the cultural norms of their country by removing themselves from the dating scene, ignoring the beauty standards and consumerism propagated toward women, and calling out the pay disparity in the Korean job market.
Go Min Hee, a political professor at Ewha Women's University in Seoul, told NPR, "Gender gap in education has disappeared with the declining number of children and growing attention to education.” As of 2003, women’s college enrollment rates in the region have surpassed men’s.
“But the income gap in the post-education labor market hasn't closed," she continued. South Korea has the largest gender pay gap in the developed world, as of 2022, women still made 31% less than their male counterparts.
In the same report, Jeong Han-Wool, head of the Research Institute of Korean People, shared “For a long time, patriarchal norms governed South Korean society. But those social norms dissolved with democratization, and I don't think we have established new norms that can fill the vacuum.”
Han-Wool said the 4B movement was ignited by the Me Too movement here in the U.S., which he said sparked a new wave of young feminists in South Korea.
While others don’t connect it directly to the movement, they doacknowledge that 4B emerged after multiple incidents of high-profile murders of Korean women, a rampant culture of revenge porn, and spy cam sex crimes were at an all-time high.
Additionally, there is blatant discrimination against women in the workplace; married women are often subjected to gender-based violence, and women are expected to take on the majority of household and child-rearing responsibilities.
Tackling Gender-Based Bias
Digital creator Ryan Carriger said, “Through amplifying the voices and the experiences of the movement, it can illuminate the far-reaching nature of gender-based bias and challenge the social structures that reinforce inequality.”
However, some, such as Anna Lee, have said that the Western media is sensationalizing this movement in South Korea. Despite the fact that reports from the country’s Ministry of Education support the quickly diminishing juvenile population, which many argue is a direct result of feminism. As of February 2024, 157 elementary schools throughout the country will have zero first graders. The lowest reported since the ministry began keeping records in 1970.
Likewise, because of the uptick in feminist voices, young men have shared their feelings of “reverse discrimination” and want the government to get rid of the Gender Equality Ministry in large part because it’s making the job market even more competitive.
Yet, this government entity focuses on more than career equity. One of its main purposes is to protect Korean women who are victims of gender-based crimes such as sexual assault and rape. Opponents of the government’s desire to dismantle this ministry believe it is a dangerous idea and will only lead to more harm toward women in the future.
As the online dialogue continues to build around the 4B Movement, many women from across the world are standing in solidarity with the women of South Korea. Some American women online are sharing a similar sentiment that they’ve already committed to the agreements of the 4B Movement in their personal lives without knowing it was associated with any deliberate social activism.
@wtfaleisa Replying to @user9720585462941 ♬ original sound - wtfaleisa
Decentering Men and Toxic Patriarchy
As many women’s studies scholars have found throughout history, to truly gain gender equality, you have to destabilize patriarchal systems and institutions. Activist, feminist, and author bell hooks once wrote, "Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. Decentering men is a central aspect of this movement." Judith Butler, a gender studies scholar, has further added that decentering men "does not mean erasing men or their experiences, but rather acknowledging that our social and political structures have been built around a narrow understanding of masculinity."
Yet, in true social media form, some of the discussions that are emerging online are demonizing, shaming, and insulting women who are choosing to distance themselves from men, that are collectively harmful to their overall well-being. Proponents of the movement are providing counterarguments to these videos.
Some people can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that there are women who would rather be single, have full autonomy over their bodies, and build a life that they want for themselves. Many naysayers of the 4B Movement are calling these actions misandry.
Carrieger disagrees with the notion that the movement is discriminatory against men and says, “Just as Black individuals have long fought against systemic racism and oppression, women have faced their own battles against gender-based discrimination and inequality.” He continues, “The 4B movement's call to challenge traditional gender roles and advocate for the empowerment of women reflects the struggle for equality that resonates within the Black community.”
Finding Common Ground for Social Justice
Historically, any oppressed group looking to gain equal citizenship in a society is always met with pushback, violence, shame, and blame. We saw it with America's civil rights and women's suffrage movements. We saw it with the anti-apartheid movement in South Africa and, most recently, with the women’s movement in Iran. This conversation could continue for hours upon hours, and the debates on whether women hate men could rage on for millennia.
The one piece of the conversation that some people are failing to address is that women, not only in Korea but globally, have decided they’d rather be single, child-free, and at peace than have to be subjected to constant trauma, discrimination, and abuse.
It goes without saying that not all men fall in line with patriarchal beliefs or disagree that there are toxic men in the world. However, this conversation is about a collective experience women around the globe share when it comes to their roles in a misogynistic world.
Even women who are in loving relationships and happy to be mothers have shared their understanding of why women would not want to have anything to do with men. Women standing up for themselves and not wanting to feel like second-class citizens isn’t an attack on men, but a call for them to be held accountable for their behavior, both past and present.
And for men to acknowledge that women play just as important a part in society as they do.
I’ll leave you with this quote from activist and scholar Angela Davis: "Decentering men is not about diminishing men or their contributions, but about recognizing that true liberation requires challenging all forms of oppression, including patriarchy."
This quote fully embodies the essence of the 4B Movement and similar movements that aim to decentralize men in our global society.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images