Anthony & Sopha Rush Reveal The Toughest Lessons They Learned During Their First Year Of Marriage
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
If you were to ask Sopha Rush, 26, and Anthony Rush, 26, how they met, they'd recall a story that gives you Love & Basketball vibes.
The newly married college sweethearts met each other back in 2011 when Anthony transferred to her school to play basketball. Mutual friends introduced them and Sopha's interest was piqued by his mysteriousness. Anthony was reeled into Sopha by her aura and her vibe. From there, they became friends themselves, then best friends, and in 2013, made things official.
In her, Anthony saw her love for other people and God, connecting to her on a spiritual level in a way that he had never done in any other relationship before her. In him, she saw a man pursuing God wholeheartedly and God radiate through him. A quick peek at Sopha's Instagram filled with photos of her and her husband Anthony will have just about anyone labeling the couple as #relationshipgoals, but one conversation with them shows how deep their love goes and just how much being deeply rooted in Christ serves their union. The couple celebrated their first year wedding anniversary this past June.
This is their journey.
The One
Anthony Rush: I knew Sopha was the one the night she shared her testimony with me. It was that night, I wanted to just hold her as she broke down, and wrap my arms around her. It was then. For the first time, I saw her as more than just a friend, as someone that I can see myself spending my life with. I knew that I wanted my next relationship to be intentional leading eventually to marriage. I was at an age where I wasn't just going to be dating just to date. I just knew that I was ready to make this commitment.
For me, it wasn't a hard decision because I knew I wanted to grow old with her.
Sopha Rush: I knew my husband was the one after a few encounters. I don't think there was specifically one time where a lightbulb went off, but just watching my husband over the years in college. The way he loved God, his teammates, his family. It was his character that attracted me to him. The way God just radiated through him. The way he was wholeheartedly chasing after God. I always knew I wanted to get married and when we started dating, I knew we were going to get married. Just wasn't sure when. I was madly in love with this man and I just wanted to serve in ministry with him and have all his babies. So, I knew from the beginning of our relationship.
True Love Waits
Anthony: [Abstinence] wasn't challenging for me because I wanted to respect my wife's decision to wait until our wedding day.
I wasn't celibate, but practiced abstinence while waiting until we got married.
We had to set boundaries and follow through because it was temptations left and right but we had to make sure we didn't hang out past a certain time by ourselves and constantly remind ourselves of the end goal, because some days were harder than others.
Sopha: Well, I knew since 7th grade, I wanted to make a vow to God that I was going to save myself for marriage. I wanted the first time to be special and with the person I wanted to spend forever with. To me, being celibate was a gift and I wanted to honor God in waiting. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy, but it sure was worth it. Anthony was beyond respectful when it came to me wanting to wait. He understood what that meant to me and honored my decision.
I knew it was hard for him because he was practicing abstinence, but for me he waited 3 ½ years for me, and that to me spoke volumes. I've been celibate until I was 24 and married. I think being long distance for two years, helped us stay obedient because if y'all ever seen my husband, he's fine and so it was so tempting, but my husband did a great job with reminding me of the end goal when I wanted to give in and use the excuse well, we are going to get married anyways, why do we need to wait. Yeah, it wasn't easy, but because my husband was strong, we made it.
Deepest Fears
Anthony: [My biggest fear was] not being fully prepared or not really knowing what to expect when it came to living together and no longer having to do long distance. I understood it wasn't going to be easy, but I went in it thinking positively knowing we would have to go through it together as a team.
Sopha: My biggest fear walking into marriage. Not sure I had any until after we got married. I had so many expectations that were unrealistic that I began to doubt we were even going to make it past the first year. I guess when I learned that my husband isn't perfect and I can't ever change him, was when I was able to allow him to grow and become the husband I desired him to be.
Building Together
Anthony: [Our biggest challenge living together was] learning to communicate effectively. We both grew up communicating differently so it was challenging at first. We both had to learn how to respect one another and give each other space when needed. We are still learning all of these things. It doesn't just disappear overnight.
We had to learn what's hers is mine and what's mine is hers. That together we are a team.
Sopha: For us, I think the most challenging things for us was communication, and boundaries. I wasn't the best communicator because I was the type to shut down, but with time, and patience, comes growth in learning how to communicate effectively. Also respecting each other boundaries and space. I needed to learn how to let my husband have his time with his video games as much as I hated them, and learn to be let him do what helped him unwind after work. Just like I would get lost in a book, he needs the same respect when it came to his time on the game.
Anthony: I've learned the thing I like the most about us is getting to plan a future with someone. It's exciting. The thing I noticed I liked the least was how she would always shut down during conversations in the beginning of our marriage. I just had to be patient and learn how to better understand her feelings.
Sopha: We both grew up communicating differently so it was challenging at first. We both had to learn how to respect one another and give each other space when needed.
Love Lessons
Anthony: In loving her, I've learned never give up. There will be hard times, unexpected things that happen, but it's no time for us to give up on each other. We lean on God for our strength and we keep fighting together, not against one another. Not always easy but it's worth it.
Sopha: I learned how selfish I really am and how I sometimes don't put my husband first. Some days I didn't want to love him like I should because I'm in a bad mood, so I might take it out on him. So many things I've learned early in marriage that I'm so thankful I've learned. Not saying I don't ever have those days now, just not as much. Growth is a beautiful thing.
Marriage Mentors
Anthony: I go to my dad for marriage advice. We are best friends and I can talk to him about everything. He's my go-to and I look up to him because seeing my parents have a God-centered marriage has shown me the man I am striving to be for my family.
Sopha: My mother-in-law is who I go to. She has been such an amazing help. She is full of so much wisdom, plus she's been in the game for almost 20 years, so she understands the struggles and the joys in marriage. She doesn't just tell me things I want to hear, but what I need to hear. And she isn't biased when it comes to her son. She listens well.
The Best Part
Anthony: I love my wife's beautiful smile. Her selflessness and how she always looks for the best interest of others, and her love for God. She has such a gentle spirit and is always trying to help others heal and become the best person they can be. I love that she doesn't know a stranger. She loves everyone she meets.
Sopha: I love how my husband is constantly serving and mentoring young men through the sport of Basketball. Anthony has an enormous heart, making him love hard and do anything for anyone because that's just the kind of man he is. Supportive, caring and ready to help when ever needed. Super passionate about God, basketball, and family.
Follow along with the Rushs on their journey. They seek to inspire, empower, and point others closer to Jesus. Feel free to follow them on Instagram @rushanthony and @livedeeplyrooted and on Twitter @sopharush and @rushanthony.
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take a more in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like. If you and your partner would like to be featured in the series, email us your story at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject “Our First Year"!
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Kendrick Lamar And Whitney Alford: A Timeline Of Their Decades-Long Relationship
Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford are one of those couples who like to live their lives outside of the public eye. Unlike many celebrity couples, we don’t really hear a lot of details about their relationship in blogs and social media except for when Kendrick raps about it. Whitney has even been featured on many of her fiancé’s songs, but it was his last album, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, where he was the most vulnerable.
Outside of supporting her Pulitzer Prize-winning man, Whitney is also a licensed esthetician and makeup artist. The couple share two beautiful children together and seem to enjoy their privacy. From high school sweethearts to starting a family, here is a timeline of Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford’s relationship.
2001-2005?: Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford Meet
Whitney Alford and Kendrick Lamar at 2016 Key to the City Ceremony
Photo by Johnny Nunez/Getty Images
Kendrick and Whitney met in high school. However, there’s not a lot of details about what year. The two attended Centennial High School, which is located in Compton, CA, and began dating shortly after becoming friends.
2009: Kendrick Lamar Raps About Whitney
In his 2009 self-titled EP, Kendrick rapped about Whitney in the songs “She Needs Me” and “Determined.” He highlighted how he can’t live without her in “She Needs Me” and shared how she’s been his rock in “Determined.”
2014: Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford’s First Public Appearance as a Couple
56th Grammy Awards with Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford
Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for NARAS
Whitney stepped out with Kendrick for the first time at the 56th Grammy Awards. Kendrick was nominated for seven awards, including Best Rap Album for Good Kid, M.A.A.D City.
2015: Kendrick Calls Whitney His Best Friend
Talking to Billboard in January, the Compton rapper opened up about his love for Whitney. “I wouldn’t even call her my girl,” he said. “That’s my best friend. I don’t even like the term that society has put in the world as far as being a companion — she’s somebody I can tell my fears to.”
Whitney Appears on Kendrick’s "To Pimp a Butterfly" Album
In March 2015, Kendrick dropped his highly anticipated third album, To Pimp a Butterfly, andWhitney provided backup vocals for songs “King Kunta” and “Wesley’s Theory.”
Kendrick Confirms Engagement to Whitney Alford
Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford at 2015 BET Awards
Photo by Johnny Nunez/BET/Getty Images for BET
During a The Breakfast Club interview, the Grammy award-winning artist confirmed that he and his high school sweetheart were engaged. “Yeah, definitely,” he said. “I’m loyal to the soul.”
2019: Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford Welcome Their First Child
It was reported that the couple had their first child in July 2019. While her name wasn’t revealed at the time, fans later suggested that he mentioned her name in his song “Mr. Morale,” which is off of his fifth album, Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers. He rapped, “Uzi, your father's in deep meditation.”
2022: Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford Welcomes Their Second Child
The couple quietly welcomed a second child, a baby boy named Enoch and they made the big reveal on the cover of the Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers album. The cover features Kendrick holding Uzi while Whitney holds Enoch. Kendrick also mentioned Enoch’s name in his song “Mr. Morale” when he rapped, “Enoch, your father's just detoxed.”
Whitney Reflects on Working With Kendrick on "Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers"
In May, the makeup artist reflected on working with Kendrick on the album, which she helped narrate, and thanked him in an Instagram post. “Sometimes the mirror is a harsh critic. Shit can get real ugly. Im proud of the work we’ve done individually and as a family. Honored to be a part of this album @kendricklamar. Thank you for your transparency. Healing can begin…,” she wrote.
Whitney Appears in Kendrick's "Count Me Out" Music Video
Whitney also appeared in her beau’s “Count Me Out” music video and shared a snippet on her Instagram page in December.
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Feature image by Lester Cohen/Getty Images for NARAS