Why Guy Friends Are Essential For Your Growth
Having male friends is so much different than female friends. As with any relationship, they come with incredible ups and heartbreaking lows, each relationship brings a unique perspective to your existence. As clothing is to the body, as Tia is to Tamera; so is a solid, reliable guy to any modern woman.
Besides having access to an absorbent amount of old sweatshirts and available pockets, guy friends bring something new to your life.
1.Their Simplicity Works To Your Advantage.
In other words, they possess a healthy dose of no-f*cks-given that I quickly adopted. My guy friends taught me the key to simplicity and how to apply that practice in every area of my life. It's argued that men are simple and in this regard, it works to your favor. There's no fluff with guy friends because they simply don't have the capacity, or frankly the time, for it. When you ask a question, you get a direct answer.
Sometimes this directness comes in the form of unsolicited opinions on your outfit or harsh critiques on your favorite reality show. But other times, the times that matter, it becomes the wakeup call that your life needs to change, or that the man you love actually isn't in love with you. It's that ability to provide simple, resourceful answers to complex questions that add value to a guy friend.
That's a beautiful trait with guy friends: some of life's toughest questions have the simplest answer.
2.See Beyond Your Horizon.
My guy friends challenge me in a way my girlfriends don't because they aren't women. They don't understand the depths of my emotions at times, or the exact way I feel about a particular injustice. Instead, they saturate me with objective opinions on what I'm doing and how I'm acting. No placating, just real.
We never know what we don't know until we know it. That's why we explore the world, meet people from different cultures, and read literature about unknown parts. It's also why guy friends are imperative. To infiltrate the mentality and thought processes of the opposite gender is an extreme advantage available to everyone. It doesn't just influence your love life, either. You're opening your mind up to different ways of thinking regarding almost every activity in life. It's allowing you to see a better, fuller picture. It also helps to correct your insecurities and/or flaws.
You're challenging the best parts of you and fixing the worst parts. It's a lesson with an impossible rate of failure.
3.A Loyal Tribe.
Guy friends are encouraging, honest, and loyal. Once they decide to welcome you into the crew, that's it. As a direct result of the loyalty expressed from my guy friends, I became more confident in every area of my life. It was because of their unequivocal belief in my dreams that I began to believe too.
In friendship with guys, you have acquired a set of mirrors who will reflect who and what you are without judgment. They are truthful but never to a disconcerting degree. It's those traits that will help you to grow and be better, but inevitably, this process is not without fault. There will be times you have to explain the nuances of PMS, deconstruct the stereotypes they lazily throw about, or even take everyone to school on women's sports. But those times are overshadowed by the unequivocal support you get when the universe (or a lover) has destroyed your everything.
My guy friends, like my girl squad, make me feel comfortable. Although we communicate differently and I often feel neglected by their group chats, I understand the significance of our relationship.
It's okay that they don't understand how it feels to have period cramps, or what it means to birth a child; I don't need that from them. It's irrelevant when they've taught me how to challenge myself, how to think outside of the box society put me in, or how to love myself when no man can. As Rihanna said, that's what I came for.
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'He's My Brother': Is Playing the Sister Role Blocking You From Finding Love? – Read More
Your Guide To Finding Your Tribe In A New City – Read More
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage