'2 Dope Queens' Jessica Williams & Phoebe Robinson Share The Secret To Pushing Past Fear
All of the haters and foes I've encountered in my life don't have sh*t on the damage I've done to my damn self. We're all our own biggest enemy and worst critic, so I can admit that my inner voice definitely gives me serious Simon Cowell vibes, and I know I'm not alone.
How many of us are guilty of thinking one (or maybe all) of these thoughts on a consistent basis:
I don't have enough to be successful. I don't know enough to start a business. I'm not smart enough to be an entrepreneur. I'm too old to truly live out my dreams. I'm too young to really have the things I want in life.
If you're as guilty as I am of indulging in this sh*tload of negative self-talk, I have a message from 2 Dope Queens that is sure to change your perspective: Feel the fear and do it anyway. Essence sat with the stars of the HBO original comedy series who shared that one of the most important steps on their journey to success was developing a very intimate relationship with fear.
The truth is, no matter how talented you are, if you don't believe in your potential why in the hell would anyone else? Phoebe Robinson and Jessica Williams prove fear is the boogeyman that hides in the closets of even the most successful women. 34-year-old comedian and What Men Wantstar, Phoebe Robinson told Essence that her secret to pushing past fear is spending some good old quality time with her apprehension:
"I like to become friends with my fear, you know what I mean? I'm like, 'Okay, I'm going to go out to brunch, we're gonna hang out, we're gonna talk it out.'"
Getty/Michael Loccisano for HBO and POPSUGAR Photography
When stepping out on faith, it's important to have vision, not necessarily sight.
Although fear can be a coping mechanism that can keep us from harm, it can also be a powerful force that prevents us from reaching our greatest potential. The actress explained:
"Because, sometimes, fear is to protect you, but sometimes fear is just holding you back a little bit from your potential that you know you have. Fear and failure, making mistakes, stuff not working out or going the way that you want, that's where you learn. That's what keeps you humble and that's what makes you realize it's all just part of the process."
Jessica Williams added to this sentiment, pointing out that feeling fear isn't the problem. The real issue with fear comes from allowing it to paralyze you. Jessica shared that the best thing you can do for yourself is allowing your fear to exist without impeding on your ability to keep it pushing. She shared:
"I think it's feeling the fear and doing it anyway, not just putting it in a box but allowing it to exist. And it's interesting when you actually get up [on stage] or when you face the blank page, being like, 'Oh, this isn't the worst feeling,' you know? It's like, 'Actually, I can keep going. I can keep going. I can keep going. I can keep going.' Just keeping it as a steady marathon and not a sprint, waking up every day and having a new relationship with your fear and yourself."
Just like a relationship with a new partner, these ladies encourage us to court our fear.
When you have a clear understanding of what scares you, the future becomes a little less scary. Fear isn't an emotion that we should avoid or feel embarrassed by. Instead, grab your apprehension by the balls and remind yourself that the only person in the audience you need to impress is you.
Featured image by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for HBO.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage