

Navigating the holidays can be tricky when you start dating someone new. You're either faced with spending the holidays separately – each of you enjoying time with your own families – or spending time with each other's family. Depending on how serious your new relationship is, your partner may convince you to do the latter: meet their family for the first time.
While it can be a momentous occasion, it can also be nerve-racking. The "throw-you-right-into-the-fold" method of introduction can be anxiety-inducing. However, as intimidating as it may seem, if your partner didn't think you could handle it, they wouldn't even propose the idea. So, you will go – you must go! – and the following tips will ensure you survive the evening unscathed.
1.Dress for the occasion.
As we all know, the first impression anyone has of us is based on what they see. It's important to understand the occasion and follow the family's tradition when it comes to attire. You don't want to wear your favorite holiday dress if the family tradition is to wear onesies. Likewise, you don't want to be too dressed down if the family plans to serve you on their best china. The goal is to show how well you can mesh with the family – not necessarily stand out. When it comes to attire, it's important to follow your partner's lead. While you may not be the type to judge someone by what they wear, there are tons of aunties and cousins who will, so paying attention to attire is imperative.
2.Don’t arrive empty-handed.
There are few things more insulting to a hostess than arriving empty-handed. If you're going to someone's house for the first time – especially for an event as important as Thanksgiving – it's critical to bring something. Find out what the hostess likes – whether it's wine, Tito's Vodka, or Godiva Chocolates – to bring as a "thank you for having me" gift. Tip: play it safe and avoid bringing a food item; things can go south real fast if the family doesn't like the way you seasoned the turkey wings.
3.Offer to help.
It doesn't take much to wipe down the counter or set the table. Extending a helping hand can go a long way. Even if the family doesn't actually need help, offering displays selflessness, helpfulness, and a willingness to be independent from your partner to impact the greater good. It also shows that you're not afraid to roll your sleeve up and get to work, and that you're able to 'take care' of their beloved family member. They may turn it down, but offering to help will certainly leave a lasting impression.
4.Put the phone down!
It's a shame I have to say this, but nothing ruins a genuine in-person connection quite like a smartphone in your face. Minimizing your phone usage will allow you to better connect with the people you're there to meet. Interrupting dinner or disengaging because of a text conversation or social media debacle can be disrespectful and offensive. Enjoy time with your partner's family without constantly checking your phone.
5.Ask meaningful questions.
This step is critical. While it may seem that the benefit of meeting the family is for them to get to know you, it is also the perfect time for you to get to know them. Use this moment to ask questions about your bae's childhood and show interest in the people around you. Ask about their career choices and personal passions. Get to know their favorite memories and some of their greatest lessons. Displaying a genuine interest in getting to know them will allow them to want to get to know you more. And it'll put a smile on their face knowing that you actually care.
6.Be authentic.
You want people to get to know you for you – that requires authenticity. You do not have to fake the funk to get them to like you. The point of them getting to know you, is to get to know YOU, not who you think they should know. Don't parade around to be someone you're not for the sake of their approval. Instead, honor the woman you truly are and showcase her. Show them why your beau wants to date you in the first place. Laugh at the jokes that you think are funny. Share your personal stories. Explain the work you do and why it's meaningful. You can even share about your own family who you probably miss at this point. The purpose is, allow yourself to be yourself. Don't put on a façade to impress anyone – mothers and grandmothers can see right through that. Instead, be you.
7.Don’t take anything personal.
In some extreme circumstances, a family may not be as welcoming as you'd expect. Often, that behavior has nothing to do with you, but with the family member themselves. Don't be down on yourself because of it. People will have their opinions; if the family is decent, they will at least repress those opinions until after you leave. If they don't, however, it's not you, it's them. Understand that there are family dynamics, histories, and past behaviors that have nothing to do with you. Don't pick up what they're putting down and get discouraged. Instead, pile through with the good spirit you had walking in.
8.Just breathe.
This is just the first of what may be many meetings. They will not get to know all that you are on this day alone – not with all the football, cooking, and food comas that'll be going around. This is simply their introduction to you – and you, them. Don't stress yourself out about what this day will bring; instead, delight in leaving your bae's family and friends with a great first impression of you!
Featured image by Getty Images
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Zoe Hunter is the writer, speaker, and creator behind the women empowerment brand DEAR QUEENS. She uses vulnerability, storytelling, and spiritual development to empower women toward healthy decision-making. Stay connected to Zoe's work by visiting DEARQUEENS.com or following her on Twitter @zDEARQUEENS.
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Saweetie On Healing, Self-Discovery, And Why She’s "Dating Her Career" In 2025
Saweetie is stepping into 2025 with a renewed sense of purpose and self and an unwavering commitment to her career. The 31-year-old rapper is the cover star of InStyle’s Spring 2025 music-themed digital issue, where she opens up about her transformative journey to Africa, how she’s embracing divine timing, and why she’s leaving distractions behind as she gears up for the release of her debut album.
While 2021 appeared to be a year of big wins for Saweetie career-wise, the "NANi" artist didn't hide the fact that the year also marked a "traumatic time" for her life as she navigated heartbreak following a very publicized relationship. At the time, shaving her head was her way of starting over.
Recalling her headspace back then, she told InStyle, "I thought life would get better, but girl, life just kept life-ing… Surrendering to God and the universe has actually gotten me places. I used to be a control freak. I used to try to micromanage everything. I think we resort to micromanaging everything because we feel helpless."
In the time since, Saweetie has been deep in her introspection work, embarking on a self-discovery journey to Africa inspired by a DNA test that revealed she had 51 percent African ancestry. What she found as the result of the life-changing trip was not only a professional evolution but a spiritual one as well.
"In Africa, they're all going with the flow, they're not rushed. What I found is [that] when you surrender to divine timing, everything falls into place, rather than trying to force something to happen,” she shared with the publication. “I feel like I found my voice in Africa," she said later.
Saweetie's evolution didn't stop with her voice, in fact, her time abroad allowed her to heal and peel back layers of self-protection she had unconsciously built. She continued, "I think that's why I've been soul-searching because I wanted to have pride in who I am as a woman. Like, where do I come from? What do I believe in? What do I stand for? What do I not stand for? What do I love? What do I not love?
"And because I went through a lot of those emotions in Africa, it helped me pull back so many layers of this wall that I put up…"
Speaking of what she loves and what she doesn't love, Saweetie also gave a glimpse into her romantic life and let it be known her relationship status is "dating her career." While the "Richtivities" Queen has had her fair share of high-profile relationships, she is entering her focused era.
Saweetie shared that in the past, she let herself get "slightly distracted" but she now proudly proclaims that anything in her life that isn't right can go left because it's alignment over everything. "Anything that may be trying to compete with my goals, with my ambitions, with my priorities… I no longer second guess my career and if you can't understand it, then respectfully, get out of my way."
For the full cover story, check out InStyle's Spring 2025 digital issue here.
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Featured image by Getty Images