Lifestyle Blogger Dayna Bolden On How She Balances Her Passion Full Time With Motherhood
xoNecole's Moms Who Inspire series highlights modern day moms mastering all the tasks on their plate, from day to day responsibilities to ensuring their children are kind, educated and well-rounded human beings. Each mother describes their inspiration, what motherhood means to them, and how they maintain their sense of selves while being the superwoman we all know and love.
Although she had always envisioned a life where she was a mother, Dayna Bolden still had her fears in stepping into the role.
It was all about the how. And when she became pregnant, not knowing how to be a mom and change a diaper or soothe a crying baby made her feel like the thing she always dreamed of being would be the thing she'd have trouble excelling at.
But that was proven wrong in no time at all. The millennial mom, wife, beauty and lifestyle content creator, and brand strategist embraced motherhood and quickly discovered how much it'd welcome her back. "No one can really teach you to be a mom, it just occurs naturally and I learned that fast and early," she shared with xoNecole fondly.
Dayna with daughter Aria@vsdavisphotography
As a Mom Who Inspires us, Dayna shares how her love for natural hair and fashion blossomed into a beautiful opportunity for both herself and her family.
On becoming a mother:
I always wanted to be a mom. There was never a doubt in my mind about motherhood. Motherhood means providing and caring for a blessing. It was just a natural progression that my husband and I always wanted. We wanted to have a family.
On how her upbringing influenced how she raises her daughter:
I was raised well, my parents worked extremely hard to provide for me. My parents made so many sacrifices to put me in a private school and paid countless sports fees so that I can be active and in any sport I loved. In raising my daughter Aria, I am doing the same. She's only four, but my husband and I are working our hardest to be able to provide the best for her, always.
On how her career tested her determination:
When I was working full-time in corporate America while balancing my thriving brand. It was extremely hard. I made so many sacrifices and had so many early mornings, but I was determined to succeed with my brand. I was tested the moment I decided to pursue my passion and leave my full-time job.
It was a leap of faith that made me learn how strong I am and how much of a competitor I am.
On what a typical day looks like in her household:
It's always different depending on the nature of my business. I travel a ton, but typical days consist of me waking up my daughter, getting her ready for school, dropping her off, then going to work out. After my workout, I step into my office and become my own boss and work my butt off until it's time to turn into mommy and wife mode at night.
On how she maintains a work/life balance:
Balance is something that's impossible at this point because nothing will never be equal.
For me, it's about prioritizing family and my business.
From 9am-5pm, my business is my priority, and then after that my family is my priority, or vice versa. My priorities change daily, but that's how I stay sane. Not putting so much pressure on myself to make both important aspects of my life equal, but yet prioritizing the moments.
On her favorite thing to do with her daughter:
Honestly, I love lying in bed in the morning, holding her and kissing her. That's my favorite moment of the day. When she wakes up, walks in my room, and gives me a big hug. I hug and kiss my daughter several times a day to where she may think I'm annoying but that's how I express my love. I also always tell her she's beautiful, smart, and funny. Those are my favorite moments.
On the unexpected life lesson her daughter taught her:
To dance like noone is watching. My daughter is so carefree. She literally will dance like no one is watching in a public, crowded place and not have a care in the world.
I love how she just lives life and she's always so happy.
She teaches me that life is short and I need to do the same.
On the moms who inspire her:
I am inspired by my mom, cousins, aunts, and best friends daily! I admire how the women in my life are so hardworking and make sacrifices daily for the well-being of their kids. I want to send praise to all of my amazing mom friends, family, and supporters!
For more Dayna, follow her on Instagram.
Christine Carter is a voice for millennial moms (and uniquely, young black female professionals and mothers). She has been featured in and guest contributed to several global digital publications, including Forbes, TIME, Health, Ebony, Black Bride, Inc., Women's Health and many others.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images