What Exactly Does It Mean To Be An 'Intuitive Eater'?
Are you someone who has a literal love/hate relationship with food? If so, and you're kinda at your wit's end about it, let's talk about intuitive eating for a hot second. If you've heard the term before but you're not 100 percent sure what it means, to be an intuitive eater means that you have figured out a way to 1) enjoy food without feeling guilty, 2) discern you're truly hungry vs. when you're relying on food as a coping mechanism and 3) know how to make peace with your food choices without overthinking, starving yourself or being obsessed with dieting. In short, intuitive eating is about approaching food from a place of rational thinking, a healthy sense of emotions and gut instinct—not one of these points; all three of them.
When someone has mastered how to eat intuitively, the obsession with losing weight and the desire to comfort eat tends to become less of an issue because, when you give yourself permission stop seeing food as "the enemy", it opens up a world of possibilities where you're able to decide what foods are best for you, what should be consumed in moderation and what is about choosing what is ultimately great for your mind, body and spirit—rather than simply what will change the number on your scale in your bathroom.
Are you ready to learn more about how to become an intuitive eater so that you can get back to really loving food again?
First, Get the Word “Diet” Out of Your Vocabulary
Different people have different perspectives on what makes for a "dirty" four-letter word. For instance, while some folks would never dream of saying "s—t", I'm floored that many of those same people will call someone "ugly" in a heartbeat. To me, the first word is a cuss word while the second is a curse word. But we'll have to get into all of that another time. For now, I'll just say that on my own personal list of bad four-letter words, "diet" tops the list.
Not "diet" in the sense of the foods that someone may choose to improve their overall health and well-being, but diet when it comes to being preoccupied with a certain type of foods that you think will help you to lose weight only. I'm not the only one who feels this way either.
If you speak with reputable therapists or nutritionists, many will say that, not only is it counterproductive, psychologically, to be consumed with what you should and shouldn't eat in order to shed pounds, but going on a diet is oftentimes only a temporary "fix" rather than a long-term solution to weight loss.
In fact, it's been reported that as much as 80-95 percent of people who go on diets, end up gaining back the weight that they lost, if not packing on even more pounds. And a part of that is because they haven't learned how to have a healthier relationship with food.
Be at Peace with Food
There is someone I know who's been on some form of a diet, for at least 15 years now. It's literally nothing to see her 20 pounds smaller one month and 30 pounds heavier 2-3 months later. Whenever we discuss the roller coaster that she is constantly on, she talks about the fact that she's an emotional eater (I'll get more into that in a sec). Because of that, one day she sees foods like it's the enemy; the next day, she's using that same food to comfort her. Living like this keeps her on a constant yo-yo and that's not good because yo-yo eating/dieting leads to things like increased weight loss and a decrease in muscle mass, along with an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and blood pressure.
This is why it's so important to be intentional about making peace with food. What I mean by that is, stop looking at food as being what keeps you from the weight goals that you're striving for, or as a way to make you feel better when you're down. For the most part, food is fuel, period. And while some foods are better for us than others, when we relax minds and give ourselves permission to 1) see food as a way to keep us going and 2) actually embrace food for what it is, that can help us to look at it from a healthier perspective. It can also provide a foundation for balance while learning to consume certain things in moderation (rather than starving ourselves or punishing ourselves for indulging).
Listen to Feelings More Than Rules
OK, let's look a little into what emotional eating is. If you're someone who eats in a direct response to something that has (or hasn't) happened to you (whether you are actually hungry or not); if you're prone to eating at unusual times of the day (like really late at night); if you tend to always use food as a way to reward yourself; if your eating habits drastically shift, based on how stressed out you are (or aren't); if you rely on food to make you feel better—all of these are clear signs that you, at least have the tendency, to be an emotional eater. And, if this is indeed the case, trying to diet is going to be absolute hell for you because, let's be honest—for most people, dieting comes with its own level of stressors and insanity triggers.
So, if emotional eating isn't the way to go, why am I recommending that you listen to your feelings as you're on the path of learning how to become an intuitive eater? Good question.
The reality is that an emotional eater tends to be someone who doesn't actually make the time to acknowledge and then validate how they feel about something (or someone). When they're upset, uncomfortable or anxious, they will almost automatically use food to distract them rather than take the time to process what their emotions genuinely are. However, as they learn more about how to handle their feelings and circumstances in a productive way, the less they will need food to "fill a void". As a result, there is no need to 1) feel guilty about eating and/or 2) go on a diet to lose weight because they can find the strength that they need to work through their issues another way. Food won't help them to "work through" anything, so they won't rely on it and then feel badly when it causes them to put on more weight. And coming to this place in their psyche is what will keep them from freaking out about their weight and then trying to follow the rules of yet another diet.
When it comes to this particular point, it can be helpful to either talk things through with a friend or even seeing a reputable therapist or counselor, just so that you can get tips and tools for how to work through your emotions in a more beneficial way. If you do this, you will be well on your way to having a healthier relationship with food, so that you don't always have to figure out how to diet in order to accomplish any weight goals that you may have. You'll be able to trust your feelings about food because you won't rely on food to drown out your feelings. Make sense?
Know Your Triggers Too
Knowing your triggers. When you're someone who's mastered this particular point, it can empower you in so many areas of your life. For instance, when I first embarked upon my abstinence journey, I came to realize that back when I was making some (mostly emotional) reckless sexual decisions, a constant trigger was, since I was basically always praised for my sexual performance, I would rely on that to make me feel better, whenever my self-esteem wasn't as high as it should be. What I mean is, if I felt bad about myself, I would use sex to make me feel better. But as I started being more intentional about establishing self-love, the easier it was to "push the sex plate back". Then sex was more about being a want than a "needy need".
A similar resolve can come from understanding your triggers as it relates to food. One person I know, they always eat the most junk food whenever they get into it with their in-laws. It's like, instead of setting some real boundaries with their mother-in-law (especially), they'll just cram some fries, chips or ice cream into their mouth instead. Problem is, because their spouse has some pretty unhealthy boundaries with their parents as well, this person is on the verge of losing it with their in-laws, fairly often. But if this person would recognize their family dynamic to be a trigger and work on other ways to cope, they could still enjoy fries, chips and ice cream from time to time. Only, it would be for the sheer pleasure of eating those things; not as a way to keep from going insane (and then feeling bad about themselves for over-indulging in the process).
That's the thing about intuitive eating. Because it's rooted in self-care and rational thought, when you apply this way of thinking to your life, it can benefit you, well beyond how you respond to what you've got in your fridge or what you plan to eat next.
Fill Yourself Up in a Beneficial Way
Believe it or not, self-care plays a huge role in being an intuitive eater. The more relaxed and internally at peace that you are, the better you'll get at knowing if you are truly hungry or if you're using food to fill voids within. That's why, if intuitive eating is something that you're considering getting into, adding self-care activities like pampering, yoga, journaling, meditation and leisure activities can help you to find more satisfaction in life so that food isn't something that you are super preoccupied with.
Something else that is a result of self-care? Avoiding the belief that you've got to starve yourself to reach your weight loss goals. That is absolutely not true (and is pretty unhealthy as well). Something else that intuitive eating does is teach you how to focus on filling yourself with foods that are good for you and can easily fill you up at the same time. High fiber foods like dark leafy greens, avocados and pears can slow down your body's digestion while also keeping your blood sugar levels from spiking. Beans, eggs and oatmeal contain lots of protein (protein always satisfies, appetite-wise). Pectin is a water-soluble fiber in foods like plums, bananas and raspberries that will also slow down your digestion while making you feel full at the same time.
Eating healthy foods that fill you up can help you to avoid not-so-healthy foods that only make you feel bad about yourself in the long run.
Bottom line, the more you learn about foods that can work towards gratifying your system in a beneficial way, the less food will be on your mind overall, and the better you will get at knowing if you're eating something because you are hungry, you want it for enjoyment purposes or you're using it as some sort of coping mechanism and nothing more. And the better you get at discerning the differences, the more peace you can have, any time food comes to your mind—or up to your lips.
Be Satisfied with Your Health. Focus Less on Your Weight.
One more point about intuitive eating. Any good nutritionist will tell you that if you struggle with food, solely because you want to lose weight, it really is better to think about what's best for your health overall than how to lose inches as quickly as possible. A part of the reason why is because pounds and inches can vary for all of us based on height, build, muscle mass, genetics and a host of other issues. But if your ultimate goal is to be healthier rather than just smaller, this is one more way where you can let yourself off of the hook when it comes to your relationship with food. You can figure out what foods give you more energy, put you into a better mood, make you more productive, keep you calm—and when you learn what foods work for your body, reaching body goals will become so much easier to do.
Hopefully, after reading all of this, you can see how dieting sucks (big time) and intuitive eating is totally the way to go. If this is something that interests you and you'd like to find a nutritionist in your area, visit EatRight.org or check out the National Organization of Black Dietetics and Nutrition.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Health Benefits Of 8 "Unhealthy" Foods - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 2. Eggs - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- A Quick Guide to Intuitive Eating ›
- Intuitive Eating 101: Beginners Guide to Intuitive Eating ... ›
- What Is Intuitive Eating All About? The 10 Principles And More ›
- What is Intuitive Eating? | Evelyn Tribole ›
- What is intuitive eating, and how do you do it? - The Washington Post ›
- What Does Intuitive Eating Mean? | National Eating Disorders ... ›
- What is Intuitive Eating? - Be Nourished ›
- 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating | Intuitive Eating ›
- What Is Intuitive Eating and How Is It Different From Mindful Eating? ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Often imitated, never duplicated, The Midwest ItGirls hold a refreshingly raw essence, style, and cultural identity. These ItGirls are the living, breathing definition of rolling up your sleeves and chasing dreams. Trust us when we say, these Midwest ItGirls don’t just talk the talk, they walk it, holding fast to their values in everything they get their hands on.
Read about five of our ItGirls here, but be sure to check out the full ItGirl 100 List.
BREE SPECIFIC
Courtesy
Bree Specific is a media personality and entrepreneur. She gained recognition for her work in hosting events, moderating panels, and covering festivals. Off-air, Bree coordinates Music Relations for Whats The Word Media and serves as a Tech Producer at WVON 1690 AM.
Chelsey Carter Sanders
Courtesy
Chelsey Carter-Sanders is the founder and CEO of the Alex Carter brand, which focuses on creating everyday attire for extraordinary individuals. The brand is known for combining simplicity with an edge, appealing to those who are willing to take risks.
Jean Deaux
Courtesy
Jean Deaux's music spans R&B, rap, pop, house, and indie as she creates from the unique lens of a Black queer artist. Often described as a multi-hyphenate and 'modern renaissance woman,' she is a creative director, filmmaker, and songwriter.
Mari Copeny
Courtesy
Mari Copeny, also known as Little Miss Flint, is a youth activist who gained recognition for raising awareness about the Flint water crisis and her fundraising initiatives to support underprivileged children in her community and across the country.
Sky Jetta
Courtesy
Sky Jetta has worked with the likes of Rico Nasty, Charli XCX, Baby Tate, and Saweetie. Known for her unique fashion sense, she has been featured in global campaigns Nike x Serena Williams, Burberry x SSENSE, and Jordan Jumpman23. Jetta was also the featured opener for singer Neyo, DJ’d for luxury brands Balmain and Gucci, and just completed a tour as direct support for Zack Fox.