The Founder Of Therapy For Black Girls Gives Us A Beginner's Guide To Therapy
With the rise in mental health awareness, now more than ever, Black girls are exploring therapy as a wellness outlet. Once a very taboo topic (and still is, depending on who you're talking to), therapy and mental health have really become a topic of discussion in our community, and for good reason, too. I have personally experienced the transformative power of therapy and the power of having someone to talk to about everything from bad breakups to childhood moments, self-care practices, and more.
For some reason, we still hold on to this idea that seeking therapy is a substitution for staying positive or having a strong foundation in a Higher being, when honestly, that's just not true.
Trust me, I get it – stepping out of your comfort zone and looking for someone to talk to who you've never met is extremely daunting, especially if you're the first person in your family or friends to try it. Who tells a stranger their business? What do you even talk about with the therapist? When I first started therapy, there were many days I just sat and made what felt like surface-level conversation, until one day my guard came down and the real work began. And truly, if you can push yourself to just try it, you'll greatly see a difference in the short- and long-term.
Dr. Joy Bradford
To understand more about therapy and the perks of pushing yourself out of comfort to explore it, I spoke with Dr. Joy Bradford, an Atlanta-based psychologist prominently known as the founder of Therapy For Black Girls, an online resource and podcast that explores various topics that promote therapy and self-care.
"Some of the common reasons people come to therapy are changes in mood that significantly interfere with their lives, major transitions or losses, and assistance with having healthier relationships," Dr. Joy said. "Therapy can be helpful in these instances because you can speak with an objective party about your concerns and have a space to talk through solutions that may be helpful and patterns you may be enacting that are resulting in you feeling a certain way."
Read on as Dr. Joy walks us through the ins and outs about therapy, its cost, who to go to, and how to start:
On Who Should Consider Therapy:
"I think everyone could likely benefit from therapy at some point in their lives. I think therapy should be an obvious choice if you're noticing changes that significantly impact your typical activities of daily living (i.e. your ability to go to or function at school/work or your ability to take care of things like hygiene, dress, etc.). But I also think that therapy can be helpful in instances where you realize your relationships aren't reciprocal, or if you realize you overextend yourself in the interest of making others happy, or if you realize that you can't follow through with plans regardless of repeated efforts to do so, or if you find yourself actively avoiding places or people because you're worried about what people will say or what will happen when you get there."
On The Negative Stigma Attached To Therapy:
"I think historically it has not been ok for women of color to show any signs of weakness, especially Black women who are supposed to be Teflon and devoid of emotion. I think the strong religious and faith presence in many communities of color have resulted in people thinking that prayer was enough or that indicating you had a mental health concern somehow signified a weakened faith relationship. Additionally, I think there has rightfully been a real mistrust for medical professionals in our communities which makes people less likely to seek out help even when they feel they might need it."
On Common Misconceptions About Therapists:
"Some common misconceptions about therapists are that they are just 'paid friends,' that therapy won't help because it's just talking, and that if you try one therapist and it doesn't work, that means therapy just isn't for you. The truth is, that you may need to try a couple of different therapists before you find one that's really a good fit for you."
On The Importance Of Black Female Therapists:
"I don't personally think that it's a requirement for women of color to have a therapist that is another woman or person of color. But my experience has been that Black women tend to want to work with another woman of color. So, if that feels important to you and increases the likelihood that you will make an appointment to see someone who can help, then you should absolutely seek that out. This was the major reason I decided to create the therapist directory because I continued hearing Black women say they had difficulty finding other Black women and women of color to work with."
On What To Consider Pre-Therapy:
"I think it's important to consider what your priorities will be in participating in therapy. If cost is a major concern and you definitely want to use your insurance, you should start by calling your insurance company or getting on their website and getting a list of therapists who are covered by your plan. After that, you want to look for people who have specialities in the area you're struggling with. You also want to consider whether similarities in things like race/ethnicity, gender presentation, sexual orientation, or faith background are important. As I mentioned earlier, if any of these areas feel super important to you in having a good fit, you should seek that out."
On The Cost of Therapy:
"Most therapists offer a free 10-15 [minute] consultation to let you ask any questions you have and to get a better feel for who they are and how they work. Be prepared for this consultation with any questions you have. If cost is a concern, I suggest looking into local colleges and universities that may have training clinics where you can get therapy at significantly lower prices because the therapists are in training. I'd also suggest look into any support or therapy groups that may be in your area. These may be free or less expensive than individual therapy."
On What To Expect During Therapy:
"You should expect to feel nervous and weird about sharing some very private info with someone who is virtually a stranger. That's normal. It doesn't mean that therapy won't work. Take notes as you call therapists and browse their webpages. Think about how you feel as you listen to them or read more about them. Do they seem like someone you could eventually be comfortable with."
Find a therapist near you via the Therapy For Black Girls directory here. And follow Dr. Joy on Twitter and Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Dr. Joy Bradford
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images