I've been a bride and I've been a bridesmaid. I was blessed to have an awesome group of ladies standing by my side on the big day. On both sides, I've experienced the highs and the lows, including my own personal moments where I let the stress of it all get the best of me.
As a bridesmaid, it is our responsibility to be there for the bride, help her in whatever way we can and make sure she has an enjoyable experience throughout the entire process. So, before she says “I do" and before you say “I will" to being a bridesmaid, make sure you take note of these 10 tips.
1. Let the bride have her moment and her time to shine.
Yes, you will slay and look beautiful on that day. Your face will be beat (great make-up) and you, too, may walk down the very aisle the bride will walk down, but don't forget…it's not about you. It's the bride's day and her time to shine. Keep this in mind in everything you do and you will remember to put her bridal needs before your bridesmaid needs.
2. Embrace your title as the “bride's maid."
Try to be proactive and ask the bride if there's anything you can do to help. Strive to be willing to lend a helping hand. Even if you live in another state, there are things you can do as it relates to helping plan the bachelorette party, the bridal shower or even the wedding. When one of my friends was getting married and I lived in another state, I still helped research decorative items and pricing for her online. If you can't do as much leading up to the wedding, at least commit to doing what what you can on the day of the wedding, like offering to get food for her, running last-minute errands or helping with the setup or clean-up for the wedding.
3. Only offer up your opinions to the bride if and when solicited.
For those of us who are married or for those of us who just might be a little bossy, it's easy for us to try and tell future brides what they should or shouldn't do, but our opinions should only be offered when solicited. Maybe you prefer a more intimate wedding, a larger wedding or even a destination wedding. That's totally fine and you can do all of that when it's your turn, but for now, let the bride do what she wants to do. Remember, she's planning the wedding of her dreams, not yours.
4. Try to limit the amount of questions you ask the bride.
“Where is the wedding? What time is the rehearsal? What kind of shoes should I wear? What time is the wedding?" While these questions are important and relevant, it can be overwhelming to ask all at once. As a bride, one can only imagine the number of questions that come from all sides – parents, family, friends, wedding planners, etc. Hopefully the bride has a website or will send friendly text or email reminders, but even if she doesn't, consider directing your questions to the maid/matron of honor or the wedding coordinator. Most times, they are the main point of contact, and one less question for the bride could mean one less thing she has to worry about.
5. Help shield the bride from unnecessary personal and behind-the-scenes drama.
There will be enough small fires the bride will have to put out or deal with before and during the actual day. Help her stay calm and relaxed by shielding her from disruptions and distractions. The less stress the bride has to be consumed with, the better it will be for everyone.
6. Take on the role of "Positive Pam" for the bride and everyone else.
Do your best to be the one who is always on time, never complaining, or who always shows up with a positive attitude. There may be situations where you will have to interact with people who you aren't as cool or close with, but try to keep it positive and be as cordial as possible for what will only last a short season. At the end of the day, you want to be the one who makes it easy for the bride and the rest of the wedding party.
7. Be honest from the beginning if you're not certain you can fulfill your obligations.
One thing I know for certain is no matter the role (bride or bridesmaid), each one requires a unique set of sacrifices as it relates to time, resources and especially finances. Whether it's due to financial or timing issues, be honest upfront even if that means you may have to decline the request (depending on the length or closeness of the friendship/sisterhood of course). Life happens and sometimes we have to adjust. I had someone tell me they couldn't be a bridesmaid for some of the same reasons mentioned above and even for circumstances beyond her control. The same thing happened to my husband and one of his groomsman. Ultimately, my husband and I had to make some changes, but at the end of the day the wedding still went on without a hitch and it didn't have a huge affect on anything.
8. If possible, try to order your dress at least six months in advance.
This is one of the best ways you can stay on the bride's good side and eliminate unnecessary stress. It's likely that the bride will be checking online or calling the store to check and see who has or hasn't ordered their dress. By ordering your dress on time, she will see that you care and are excited to be a part of the her special day. It will also allow time for your dress to arrive and for you to get alterations completed in time for the wedding.
9. Prepare your memorable reception toast or speech beforehand.
If you've been friends or close long enough, then this is your time to shine! It's your time to share with everyone why the bride means so much to you. So, unless you're totally awesome at speaking from memory, off the cuff or in front of large crowds, save yourself the embarrassment of stumbling over words or saying things that could be inappropriate or humiliating for the bride and everyone else including yourself. A little preparation can make your speech that much more memorable.
10. Be patient with the bride.
Managing life can be busy enough all by itself, and planning a wedding on top of everything else adds even more stress. I can own up and say that even though I wasn't a “bridezilla" per se, I definitely had stressful moments where unfortunately I took my frustrations out on others. So, there may be times when you might have to put up with a bridezilla and utilize a little more patience than usual. The bride will appreciate you that much more knowing that her girlfriends where right by her side helping her keep it altogether.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
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Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
