Gabourey Sidibe's Sex Scene On 'Empire' Was Groundbreaking
Gabourey Sidibe proved that Drizzy isn’t the only one who likes his women BBW when her character “Becky” got some good loving on last Wednesday’s episode of Empire.
But some fans weren’t as hot as much as they were bothered by the scene that the actress described as “that fine ass Becky on a rooftop in the afterglow of doin’ it all romantic-like with some mostly naked dude,” in a blog she wrote for Entertainment Weekly. The internet instantly made a mockery out of Becky’s love-making with memes that featured captions like:
“Damn, some of you people can’t even get a text back.”“When the rent is due.”
All of the jokes implied that “Becky” was less deserving of sexual satisfaction because she wasn’t a size six or some Brazilian bombshell emerging from the pool in a Trey Songz video. Despite the criticism, the actress told Entertainment Weekly that she felt sexy doing the scene, whether fans were turned on or not:
“I, a plus-sized, dark-skinned woman, had a love scene on primetime television. I had the most fun ever filming that scene even though I was nervous. But I felt sexy and beautiful and I felt like I was doing a good job. I’m very proud of the work we all did to make that scene a great opening for the episode.”
She also added in an interview with People, that the scene was ground-breaking for primetime television:
"After we were shooting it, the camera guy came over, and he said, 'I've never shot a scene like this. And I've never seen a scene like this. I was really happy to be part of something that's never been seen on primetime television before. And you don't notice it because you don't have to notice it, but there's never been someone of my skin color, my size, with somebody else of the same skin color in a love scene on primetime television.""It's never happened," she added, laughing again. "Just go through the books, it's never happened. And I'm not sure why it hasn't happened, but I hope there's more to come."
That’s right, Gabby. Shut the haters down. Despite popular belief, a lot of people have sex every single day and we all don’t look fresh from a Skin-e-max set every single damn time. At the end of the day, what really makes the best sex scene is chemistry and confidence. Sidibe clearly brought both to the screen flawlessly, and thinks you all have too much time on your hands to be finding the flaws in love:
“I keep hearing that people are “hating” on it. I’m not sure how anyone could hate on love, but that’s okay. You may have your memes. Honestly, I’m at work too busy to check Twitter anyway. #Booked. Hope you enjoy next week’s show!”
OK??? Gabby makes a great point.
How many of us have been so busy being self-conscious during our own sexual encounters that we forget to actually enjoy ourselves?
We’re too busy making sure our track isn’t showing, taking our body shapers off in the bathroom, or getting undressed under the covers to actually allow ourselves to feel good. Shoot, I’ve even found myself reaching for a runaway satin bonnet before my husband stops to remind me that he’s not worried about my new growth as much as he’s worried about being intimate with me in that moment. I can’t help but wonder if the hate that some harbor for Gabby’s appearance isn’t just a projection of their own insecurities. Co-star Jussie Smollett recently shared his thoughts on the scene and says that one of the sexiest things about Gabby is that she “owns it”:
“She owns herself and she’s sexy and fearless and it was dope. I thought it was beautiful to see her on screen in that way. “
As for the haters, Mr. Smollett reminds us that they always have the option to look away if they’re offended:
“Well they should close their eyes and shut off the TV then. I wanted to see it and millions of other people wanted to see it.”
Unfortunately with the same images being presented to us repeatedly with the narrow idea of what sex is supposed to look like, many of us forgot that what it actually looks like: Elderly people have sex.
Plus-sized people have sex. Men who are two weeks overdue for a shape-up have sex. Women have sex in stocking caps with their wigs lying next to them. And we need to get over this myth that we need Beyoncé’s body, Nicki Minaj’s attitude topped with a Serena Williams’ split to look sexy doing so.
Besides, who decided that you shouldn’t be having sex on the big screen if you’re over 110 lbs.? Creators of the show Mike and Molly starring Melissa McCarthy faced similar criticism when the show premiered in 2010. Blogger Maura Kelly posted an article called "Should Fatties Get a Room (Even on TV)?" in which she slammed the show’s title couple saying:
“I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other...because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room…”
You’ve got to be kidding me. Kelly attempted to spin the article into a statement against the promotion and celebration of obesity, but fans were not having it and the publication quickly posted an apology. Because it’s OK if we have to see Kerry Washington get it popping with the President every week, but when someone who doesn’t fit the description of a Sports Illustrated model gets some action, we suddenly become so concerned about living healthy and tackling America’s obesity problem?
Don’t get me wrong, I get that sex is about attraction as much as anything else, and Gabby may not be everyone’s dream girl, but one man’s Precious is another man’s Pam Grier and sometimes I think we forget that although Sidibe is playing a part, there’s a real person behind the character. The fact is whether you’re in your bedroom or basking in afterglow with some naked dude on a rooftop, if you feel sexy and beautiful, that’s no one’s business but your own, and we need to stop allowing others to define what sexy is and limiting pleasure only to those that fit the media’s narrow definition desirable. Besides if you’re leaving your bed with your wig straight and perfectly winged eyeliner, someone isn't doing it right.
Maybe we need more scenes like these to remind us that sex doesn’t have to be all six-packs and perfectly placed beads of sweat to be enjoyable.
Related Post: The Power Of Black Sex On Screen
Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage