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Yes, it may be true that I haven’t been on a date since dinosaurs walked the earth, nor have I visited Atlanta in months, but one thing I do have at my disposal is a very ‘well-pinned’ Pinterest board and an Instagram app bookmarked with my most wanted date night spots in Atlanta. The southern town that has become the mecca of all things culinary and refined- Atlanta has truly centralized the best of all cuisine options to include a balance in ambiance, style, decor, and of course, food selections.
Here is a list of a few places that I have saved in my Instagram profiles for whenever I finally meet the perfect match on Hinge.
St. Cecilia (3455 Peachtree Rd., Atlanta, GA)
This European-posh restaurant is fit for clean girl aesthetics and a sophisticated palate. St. Cecilia offers a picturesque menu that captivates delightful and filling sea-to-table fare. For the model couple that loves taking Instagram photos sans the filter, this is a fresh ingredient complimentary ode to what happens when you combine good flavors and design. From their oyster dishes to their fresh pasta and pastries. The aesthetically beautiful restaurant nestled in Buckhead’s Pinnacle Building is a local trip to Europe that will leave you satisfied without the travel fees.
The James Room (661 Auburn Ave. NE, Suite 280, Atlanta, GA)
The James Room reminds me of opening a fresh bottle of Apple Crown Royal on a dark and stormy night. It’s just that sexy and mature! This sophisticated cocktail lounge is very Noir Atlanta with a speakeasy vibe by night and a cafe by day. A place for the couple that doesn’t mind starting the line dance in the club- The James Room as described by their website is “a vibe.” They create this vibe through the love of music and food colliding to create the perfect accompaniment. With a nostalgic R&B vibe, patrons can create their own grown and sexy conversation amongst a variety of food options including- charcuterie boards, salads, and crab cakes, just to name a few.
The Wisteria (471 North Highland Ave. NE, Atlanta, GA)
A true southern classic that reads like a storybook- The Wisteria is a coastal Georgian’s date night palace. If you’re a couple looking to be swept away into the moss trees of the low country like royalty, the Wisteria’s adaptation of rich, fried southern cuisines does not disappoint. This date night spot is a satisfying classic that aims to please. Featuring signature bar drinks and an elevated take on southern classics like fried chicken, Brussels sprouts, and oysters that will bring joy and comfort to you and your date. This is a spot for the couple who need a reason to get dressed up before they Netflix and chill.
The Capital Grille (225 East Paces Ferry Road NE, Atlanta, GA)
Combine work and play life at Capital Grille. This regional American steakhouse is a classic spot for those who want good food in a signature location with a wide variety of wine and steak options. This place is great for traditional couples who love good eateries that have a consistent and nostalgic taste. The food here is an experience that many want to indulge in far beyond Valentine’s Day.
Read Shop by the Merchant (4300 Paces Ferry Road SE #125, Atlanta, GA)
Sometimes the best Valentine’s date is one that involves peace, much like what Read Shop by the Merchant provides. This darling bookstore is the perfect place to turn off your brain and relax in satisfying bliss while reading or enjoying a hot beverage. This might even be a cute place to write how much you love your honey for V-day while you both enjoy your favorite novels.
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O’Ryan Reveals He And Jhené Aiko Broke Up So He Can Focus On Being A Good Dad To Their Daughter
Throughout the years, O’Ryan has been relatively lowkey but it appears that all of that is beginning to shift. The singer, who is also Omarion’s younger brother, debuted his self-titled album in 2004 and four years later, he became a father to Namiko Love, whom he shares with singer Jhené Aiko. Lately, O’Ryan has been back in the spotlight and causing a frenzy on social media thanks to his thirst traps with his brother and their “OMG” moment of eating watermelon on stage during Omarion’s Verzuz battle with Mario last year. He’s also been speaking up more as well. Recently, he visited the Jst Us podcast and finally revealed what happened between him and Jhené but his reason for their breakup caused a divide online with some people applauding him for being honest and others calling him out for making excuses.
“We were very young. We were in a relationship like 18, 19, very young love, and when she got pregnant, for me, I had to make a decision," he says. “I never had my dad like super active in my life or any super male influence so I was afraid of kinda messing up one or the other. I can’t be like a good baby father and like a good man. I haven’t seen it, for me, in my life personally, growing up.”
So, while he was committed to being there for their child, he felt as though he couldn’t do the same as a boyfriend. “I was just like, I’ma be the best father I can be for you and I’ma be here for you. I’ma be your friend and all [of] that but I’m not gonna act like I can be with you and maybe break your heart or maybe ruin this whole thing we have going on,” he explains. “We just gonna be cool. She stayed with me the whole pregnancy, [I] cared for her, all [of] that and you can have your life. You can do whatever you want but it's like for me, I wanted to focus on, what kind of father I was gonna be.”
O’Ryan describes that moment in his life as a time of self-reflection but he also continued to support the “Sativa” artist with her blossoming singing career. He explains that as he was figuring out his next phase in life, Jhené was consistent with her music and had a lot of things moving.
“She was working really hard at her career. I was just kinda tryna figure things out for myself as well,” he says. “She had a lot more going on as far as–she had a manager, she had studios that she would go to, and stuff like that. I was just really supportive like, ‘aye whatever you need, you know what I'm saying, Nami, like go in the studio, do your thing ‘cause I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. But you got it together, get it poppin’ and it got lit.”
But no matter the discussion his comments have sparked, O’Ryan seems to have no regrets. He believes that if he didn’t make the decision to focus on being a good father versus a good boyfriend, he wouldn’t have the relationship he has with his daughter today.
While the "Take It Slow" singer only has one child, Jhené recently gave birth to a baby boy with Big Sean, making her a mother of two.
Jst Us Podcast Ep 9 | Oryan on Co Parenting , Music and Onlyfans |
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Lover girls, tap in. Galentine’s Day season has officially arrived.
Traditionally, February marks a time of year that’s been reserved for romantic love and those who are in committed relationships — but single girls need love too. Gathering the girls on or before Valentine’s Day takes a spin on the holiday’s conventions, providing a space for women to come together in celebration of sisterhood and friendship; no matter their relationship status.
Hosting your girlfriends for brunch, a 90’s rom-com marathon, with (lots of) wine, is a special way to celebrate the ladies that have held you through thick and thin.
And no need to come empty-handed. To help, we’ve tapped Marissa Kearney, creator of the viral social platforms, TargetWhileBlack and RetailWhileBlack for her top recommendation on gifts for your gals this Galentine’s Day.
Courtesy of Marissa Kearney
Since 2020, retail shopping expert Marissa Kearney has been bridging the gap between retailers and consumers through her viral social platforms, TargetWhileBlack and RetailWhileBlack. Dedicated to highlighting the best Black-owned and Black-founded brands from big-box retailers, including Target, Nordstorm, HomeGoods, Walmart, JCPenney, and more, Marrisa has garnered a community of over 550k followers and counting.
Understanding the importance of representation in the retail space, Marrisa shares how “Buying Black” is one of the greatest acts of love we can show each other. “It’s been so refreshing to walk into stores like Target and see items that reflect who we are and what we love,” she tells xoNecole. “It makes you feel like you're finally getting a regular shopping experience; like you don't have to go digging to find things that look like you.”
Ready to spread the love? Here, Marissa drops her favorite Black-owned products to make your Galentine’s Day one to remember.
Love Jones Candle
Frères Branchiaux
Love Jones Candle
Want to light up the night and set the vibe? Marrissa recommends this soy candle from Frères Branchiaux to do the trick.
Galentine’s Gift Bag
Black Paper Party
Galentine's Bag
Bag secured. Black Paper Party’s decorative designs are the perfect way to pack your gifts and deliver them in style.
Rose & Geranium Sea Salt Bar Soap
Iyoba
Rose & Geranium Sea Salt Bar Soap
As Marissa mentions, every woman deserved to be pampered. Grab a bar of Iyoba’s calming sea salt soap as a treat to your girlfriends or yourself.
Faux Mink Lashes
Luna Magic
Faux Mink Lashes
Marissa says these lashes from Luna Magic are “the perfect present” for a friend who likes to keep their face beat. Pick up a pair—or two—to make their look complete.
Vegan Sweet & Salty Organic Popcorn
Tabitha Brown For Target
Vegan Sweet & Salty Organic Popcorn
Our fairy god-auntie, Tabitha Brown, just dropped the tastiest (vegan!) snacks to hit the shelves. Add a bag to your charcuterie spread; the ladies won’t be able to put them down.
'Shine' Pillow Pink
Pillowscript
'Shine' Pillow Pink
What woman doesn’t love words of affirmation? This accent pillow from Pillowscript is not only adorable but will give your bestie the perfect pop of color and positivity to her living space.
Hella Awkward Card Game
Hella Awkward Card Game
Turn your Galentine’s into a game night. Put the phones away and break the ice with the new card game, Hella Awkward.
"Black Plum" by Craig
Puzzles of Color
"Black Plum" by Craig
We may live in a digital world, but the joy that comes from analog play never goes out of style. Pick up the pieces of this puzzle and gift it to your gal who loves a good challenge.
Casablanca Eau de Parfum
Brown Girl Jane
Casablanca Eau de Parfum
There’s no better way to say, “I love you, girl,” than through the gift of scent. Brown Girl Jane’s Casablanca fragrance is the perfect way to show your bestie that she deserves all the finer things in life; and more.
Black Girl Magic Rosé Wine
McBride Sisters Black Girl Magic
Black Girl Magic Rosé Wine
To Marissa, the perfect girl's night is not complete without a glass of wine (or two). Keep the libation in rotation and sip slow with the crowd-favorite Black Girl Magic Rosé Wine.
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Gabrielle Union Says She's Already Planning Her Funeral But Not For The Reasons You May Think
Planning your own funeral may sound morbid, but according to Gabrielle Union, it’s a must. The award-winning actress recently appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers to talk about her role in the drama Truth Be Told which stars Octavia Spencer. However, the conversation took a turn when she revealed that she was already planning her own funeral. But in true Gabrielle Union fashion, the producer and mother gave a hilarious yet brilliant explanation as to why.
“Going to a lot of bad funerals,” she says as the reason behind already prepping her funeral. “It’s kind of like when me and my husband were getting married, like the couple summers before we got married, we were at other people’s weddings like ‘not that, never that, nope, nope, nope.’ So it led me to think, I feel like I need to plan my funeral like down to the smallest detail.”
One of those details includes having her choice of photos to be used on the program. “So I’ve chosen all of the sexiest photos. If I die at 88, I don’t want to be 88 on the program. You give me my thirst traps,” she says playfully. “All my best material.”
Another must-have for Gabrielle’s funeral is having a lively (pun intended) playlist. “But like, I’ve got playlists that they have. Like food, like I want a good funeral.”
However, constantly updating the playlist with new songs that come out has become a task of its own. “Now we have a lot of Beyoncé from the latest [album]. You have to constantly update.”
We all know that funerals are generally planned by family members, loved ones, or those you were close to but that doesn’t always mean they know what’s best. According to the Bring It On star, family doesn’t always know the real you. “I think we think we are closer to people than we actually are,” she says. “Have you ever heard yourself described by a family member? And you’re like, do you know me?"
While planning your own funeral or memorial service may not sound like a priority especially when you are under the age of 35, a 2019 survey shows that 19% of 18-34-year-olds have begun planning their own funeral after the loss of a loved one. So, it appears that Gabrielle may be on to something.
Gabrielle Union Reveals Why She's Already Planning Her Own Funeral
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Your February 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Being The Main Character In Your Life
February is all about manifesting the life of your dreams! Aquarius Season is underway, Mercury is officially out of retrograde, and there is a Full Moon in Leo as the month begins. Magic is what we are walking into as we move through February, and this is the time of being an active creator of your life. Think about your hopes and dreams and how confident you are in seeing them come to fruition. The Leo Full Moon is on February 5th and is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon is about recognizing the progress that you feel in your life right now, owning your successes and who you are, and understanding sometimes growth needs to be felt within before it manifests without.
Mercury enters Aquarius on February 11th, and Mercury in Aquarius puts communication, community, and logic to the forefront. Mercury will be in this air sign until March 2nd, and communication channels flow with inspired ideas, unique perspectives, and progressive conversations. This is the month to use your voice, speak up about what you are passionate about, and also be willing to learn something new. Pisces Season begins on February 18th, and this Pisces Season is a time of new beginnings and having compassion for yourself and others. Pisces Season is a time of the year when emotions are heightened, and transparency prevails.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Pisces on February 20th, and this New Moon is bringing about an influx of passion and opportunity with Venus entering Aries on the same day. This New Moon is all about setting your intentions, believing in them wholeheartedly, and allowing unconditional love into your life. While Venus is in Aries until March 16th, love takes on a more independent tone, and Venus in Aries doesn’t settle for anything less than excitement, passion, and authenticity. February overall is a time of believing in yourself, creating from the heart, and allowing a new beginning to take place in your life.
Aries
February is a time of tapping into your inner power, Aries. You are coming to some important conclusions and insights and are supported on your path toward self-discovery. Some big changes are happening for you in February, and with the Sun in your 11th house for most of the month, you are feeling an ease of connection, community, and understanding in your world.
On February 5th there is a Full Moon in your 5th house of romance, and love is blooming for you. Your relationships are coming full circle, and you are seeing the truth of the connections in your life right now. Before the month ends, Venus, the planet of love, enters your sign and will be here from February 20th - March 16th. The love in your life is here to stay, and this month is about recognizing yourself as worthy of that.
Taurus
This month is all about nurturing your world, Taurus. You are rising above and doing what needs to be done to maintain your peace. You have created a good environment around you to nurture yourself and others and thrive, and you are enjoying the gifts of the present moment. In February you are showing up.
With the Sun moving into your house of friendship on February 18th and a New Moon here a few days later, your people are coming in. You are recognizing the soulmate connections in your life right now, and this is a month to open your mind to new possibilities and connections as well. Venus enters your 12th house of endings before the month ends, and it’s all about releasing the past and creating a new path forward for yourself.
Gemini
February is a breakthrough month for you, Gemini. This is a month where you are feeling positively moved by the transformations that have been playing out for you, and you are flowing in synergy. This is the month to spend more time on the things you love, take care of your energy, and do what makes you happy.
Your ruling planet Mercury is officially direct in February, and communication channels clear up. Mercury moves into your 9th house on February 11th and you are exploring your options right now. You are inspired by the open horizons that are presenting themselves to you this month and enjoying where you are. The Sun moves into your house of career and goals before the month ends, and you get in serious mode moving into March.
Cancer
The universe has your back, Cancer. This month is about remaining patient with what is becoming for you and trusting the divine timing of your life. Success is there for you this month and it’s about recognizing the true gifts in your world while creating the space for more. You are in the perfect position to receive blessings, and you can trust the path that you are on right now.
Mercury moves into your 8th house of rebirth on February 11th, and you move into the month going through a time of rejuvenating your mind, releasing fears and restrictions, and diving deeper into the connections and commitments in your life. There is a New Moon in fellow water sign Pisces before the month ends on February 20th, and you are feeling the excitement in your life as new doors open for you.
Leo
February is all about honoring the cycles of love and your life, Leo. You have been moving through some new personal changes recently that have made you look at love in a new light. You are moving toward greater connection and understanding in your relationships, and are feeling all the feels in February. With the Full Moon of the month happening in your sign on February 5th, you enter the month with a sense of confidence, closure, and trust.
The Sun is in your 7th house of love until February 18th, there is a lot to be grateful for this month. Relationships are filled with new growth and passion, and you are communicating from the heart. The New Moon on February 20th is occurring in an area of your life having to do with commitments, shared finances, sensuality, and transformation; and you are seeing the benefits and manifestations of your intentions both financially and emotionally right now.
Virgo
February is all about moving forward and switching things up, Virgo. You are getting things together, creating new experiences for yourself, and valuing your time and energy. There are positive reflections, communications, and creations happening for you this month and you are moving forward and the leader of your destiny. Know that you are divinely protected every step of the way.
With your ruling planet Mercury in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine for most of the month, you are being the busy bee that you are and taking care of the added responsibilities on your plate this month. Don’t overstress, and take it day by day or thought by thought. Pisces Season begins on February 18th and the energy moves from the mind to the heart. You are moving through the end of the month with love on the brain and relationships moving through a new beginning.
Libra
You are paving a new path for yourself this month, Libra. February is a month of creating new opportunities for yourself instead of waiting for them. This is the month to put some plans into motion and to create the future you intend for yourself. There is a Full Moon on February 5th that is all about recognizing your hopes and dreams and the people that want to help you get there.
Your guidance for the month is to recognize your gifts, talents, and knowledge in life, Libra. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your 5th house of self-expression and romance on February 11th, and it’s all about expressing who you are and allowing love and support into your life. Something is enticing and hopeful about the path you are walking on this month, Libra.
Scorpio
February is a month of endings, transformation, and personal growth, Scorpio. You are moving through some major closures in your life and seeing past intentions coming to fruition right now. This month is teaching you all about letting go, and about not forcing what is out of your control. February is a time of getting clearer on your truths and understandings and about unwavering self-love.
The New Moon on February 20th happening in fellow water sign Pisces is allowing you to begin anew with your creative projects and visions, and you are clearing from your life what doesn’t support your growth. The end of the month is a good time to set intentions for happiness, love, and self-confidence. February overall is all about valuing who you are and letting go of what takes you away from your center.
Sagittarius
February is all about working together with others and putting aside differences, Sagittarius. This month is highlighting where in your life you can experience a coming together, and what relationship dynamics need a change. The Full Moon in Leo on February 5th is happening in your 9th house of travel and adventure, and this is a good time to let go of mentally restricting thought patterns, reflect, and get away.
With Venus being in your 4th house of home and family for most of the month, February is also a good time to spruce up the home, nurture your inner world, and connect with family and loved ones. You are overall in the process of learning from the dualities in your life, releasing the challenges of the past, and owning your light in the process.
Capricorn
February is a time of healing the inner child, connecting with what makes you happy, and not being afraid to communicate and open up emotionally, Capricorn. You are awakening to some new emotions and inspirations this month. The Sun is in your 2nd house for most of February and you are creating new plans for yourself and your finances, putting some goals into motion, and knocking off your to-do lists.
Moving further into February there is a New Moon in your 3rd house of communication where the Sun will also now be at that time, and you are experiencing communication breakthroughs. Divine insight and important messages are coming in, and the clarity you are finding now is easing up the pressure on your shoulders. This month is your time to be, love, and use your voice.
Aquarius
Support is coming in for you, Aquarius, and this is your time to shine! February is a time of divine intervention for you, and you are spending time in gratitude and appreciation for all that is. With the Sun in Aquarius for most of the month and Aquarius Season in full swing, gifts are coming into your life and they are coming through from your patience, determination, and attention to detail. You have been moving through a time of self-mastery and creating new beginnings for yourself.
Mercury moves into your sign from February 11th until March 2nd, and people want to hear what you have to say. You are being given a platform to express yourself, channel positive energy, and connect with like-minded individuals- use it wisely. Your unique self is worthy of a seat at the table, and you are pulling out the chair this month. There is magic flowing through your world in February, Aquarius.
Pisces
Your guidance for the month is to be flexible and allow love in Pisces. The changes you’ve been wanting to see in your life are coming about for you, but you may have to open your mind to some new possibilities of what that looks like. The past, present, and future are all coming together as one and creating a new path for yourself this month. Walk through new doors opening with grace.
Pisces Season officially begins on February 18th, and the spotlight is on you right now. This is your time to free yourself from self-imposed restrictions and live confidently in your truths. You have been moving mountains in your life and deserve to enjoy more of your successes and freedom. There is a New Moon in Pisces on February 20th, and this is the time to set intentions for your emotional well-being, self-love, and personal progress in life.
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There is one milestone in a woman’s life that may not get talked about a lot, but it remains firm in our memory — it’s the first time that we notice that we’ve got a gray pubic hair. When I tell you that there’s nothing like it — Lawd, have mercy! I mean, even more than seeing the first gray hair on our head, there is something that is far more “What TF is going on?” about a gray pubic hair that…I’ll just say that if it hasn’t happened to you, just wait until it does.
I think it’s because, if anything is a true sign that time is marching on and we are getting older, it’s that. It’s also proof that, just like every other part of our body, vulvas (the outer part of our vagina) and vaginas do indeed age.
Is there anything that can be done to stop it? I’m gonna shoot it straight — absolutely not. That’s the “bad” news. The good news is there are all-natural tips that you can do to help slow down the signs of aging down below as well as things that can make that perfectly natural season of life so much easier to, not only deal with but actually embrace as well.
That said, let’s look at some top signs of vaginal aging along with some things that you can do about it, shall we?
1.Your top vulva area won’t seem as plump and full.
If you consider yourself to have a fat vagina (or someone has told you that you do), all that really means is your mons pubis (the top part of your labia, that part of your vulva where most of your pubic hair grows) is “meatier.” For the record, this can be due to genetics, weight gain, pregnancy, or hormone fluctuations.
Anyway, if this is the way it’s always been and it doesn’t seem to be as plump and full as it used to be, aging can definitely play a role and sagging can start to set in.
Solution:
Two things that you can do (outside of a cosmetic procedure) that can reduce some of the sagging include doing exercises like leg lifts, crunches, and cardio and consuming more protein, citrus fruits, and dark leafy greens. By the way, two carrier oils that are great for saggy skin are grapeseed oil (thanks to its high amount of vitamin E and fatty acids) and tamanu oil (it contains properties that help to plump and tone the skin). Massage either or both onto your mons pubis after getting out of the shower on a daily basis to receive notice results within a few weeks.
2.Your pubic hair turns gray.
The rule that applies to the hair that’s on your head is the rule that applies to pubic hair too. Long story short, as you age, the pigment cells in your hair follicles start to die and that’s what prevents color (from the melanin) from running through them. Also, just like the hair on your head, when this happens has a lot to do with your genetics; however, overall, your late 30s is the average age for when those bad boys decide to make their official debut.
Solution:
Gray hair is a fact of life and, for now, not much can be done about it. You can slow down the process of premature graying by reducing your stress levels; eating more copper-based foods (like dark chocolate, sesame seeds, and shiitake mushrooms); upping your doses of zinc, iron, and vitamin D; massaging the carrier oils sweet almond and/or rosemary onto it your pubic hair, and not using harsh chemicals on it.
If you read all of that and you were like, “Uh-huh, but how do I cover it up…NOW?”, there is a hair dye product that’s specifically designed for pubic hair. It’s called Betty and you can learn more about it here.
3.Your pubic hair also thins out.
As you get closer to menopause and certainly after you get past it, you may notice that the hair on your head as well as your pubic hair may start to thin out. Heredity, hormonal shifts, and even certain medications can play a role in this.
You can’t do much about what’s in your gene pool and, if it is a prescription that’s causing the thinning or hair loss, you should see your doctor. But, as far as your hormones go, there are some all-natural approaches that you can take.
Solution:
Reducing stress levels. Taking care of your gut health. Reducing your sugar intake. Consuming some evening primrose oil (I am a huge fan!). Keeping your body at a healthy weight. Getting no less than 6-8 hours of sleep (not sometimes; consistently). Eating more anti-inflammatory foods like tomatoes, collards, almonds, olive oil, and black pepper. And having more sex (to get rid of some of that pent-up stress; make sure it’s protected if a baby will only cause more stress in this season of your life, though).
4.Your labia starts to sag.
Two things that we naturally produce less of as we get older are collagen and elastin. That’s why it’s common to notice that as people get older, their skin doesn’t appear to be quite as firm. The reality is that your skin doesn’t discriminate when it comes to your labia (your lips — inner and outer), so it can start to sag over time too.
Solution:
Something that I’ve been doing lately, for the sake of my skin all over, is taking a collagen supplement. I can see a difference too because it helps my skin to keep that noticeable firmness whenever I pull on one of my cheeks and my skin still immediately “pops” back into place. Foods that are high in collagen include bone broth, fish, egg whites, chicken, and gelatin. You might want to massage your vulva (outside not inside) with some carrot seed oil because it helps to stimulate the production of collagen as well.
As far as elastin production goes, believe it or not, witch hazel has a pretty good reputation for helping out in that department. Just make sure that it’s also something that you apply externally not internally so that you don’t irritate the sensitive skin that’s within your inner lips and inside of your vagina.
5.Your vagina may get smaller.
Now when I say that your vagina might get smaller, what I’m referring to is your literal vaginal canal. As we age, our estrogen levels decrease and that can result in our vagina getting smaller in width and length. Here’s the thing about that, though — a lot of women don’t know that the average size of their vaginal canal is somewhere between 2.75 inches and 3.25 inches and that it goes up to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches whenever they are sexually aroused.
That’s why the whole “I need a big D” really needs to be put to rest (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”). The average size of a penis when it’s erect is 5.5 inches and yes, when your partner is into you and intentional about pleasing you, that actually is enough to get the job done; especially as you age.
Solution:
For this one, there isn’t really a solution per se. What I will say is that with labiaplasty becoming more popular than ever, this is one side of vaginal aging that you might actually look forward to being that you won’t need to worry about making your vagina tighter…I mean, if time is already doing it for you.
6.Your vagina gets dry.
Outside of gray hairs, probably the most telling sign of vaginal aging is not being able to get as “wet” as you’re used to being (*le sigh*). You can “thank” your friend estrogen again for causing this because a lack of it can kick your vagina into vaginal atrophy (more on that in a bit)— a part of what comes with that is less natural lubrication.
Solution:
We’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it,” and that couldn’t be more true when it comes to keeping your vagina lubricated. In other words, increasing sexual stimulation can help to make vaginal dryness less of an issue. So does doing things like consuming more fluids; eating foods that are high in omega-3 fatty acids (including salmon, flaxseeds, chia seeds, egg yolks, and broccoli); taking a multivitamin (you need more vitamins A, B, D, and E in your system); ramping up your exercise regimen and doing Kegels specifically. Kegels are good because they help to increase blood flow to your pelvic region and that can help with improving your lubrication levels.
Applying a vaginal moisturizer every night and using a vaginal lubricant during sex can help tremendously in this area too. If you’d prefer to make your own lube, check out mindbodygreen’s article “How To Make Your Own All-Natural Vaginal Lubricant.”
7.Your vulva may turn lighter.
This particular aging sign may be one that you would never notice unless you’re someone who does vaginal self-exams on a consistent basis (which is always a wise thing, by the way). Still, they’re a good thing to put on record too. That said, it’s not uncommon for your vulva to turn a shade or two lighter as it gets older. The backstory here is that, as your estrogen levels shift, it can also decrease the amount of blood flow that your vulva and vagina receive which can cause them both to appear a bit paler.
Solution:
Any place where your body is lacking blood flow, it’s going to need some sort of stimulation. Massages are what’s usually applied to other parts; however, when it comes to your vagina, basically a “coochie massage” would be some form of masturbation.
Other options include exercising, consuming foods that increase blood flow (including berries, onions, dark leafy greens, citrus fruits, and cinnamon); consuming black and/or green tea; easing up on the stress, and being intentional about monitoring your blood pressure levels.
8.Your vaginal walls will get thinner.
Remember how I said that we’d come back to vaginal atrophy? It’s kind of a long story but the bottom line is, the technical name for it is atrophic vaginitis, it typically occurs during menopause (although things like breastfeeding, birth control, and a hysterectomy can trigger it too) and it can cause your vaginal walls to get thinner, drier and inflamed.
Solution:
Believe it or not, something that can help to bring relief to this particular issue is to increase sexual activity because it will bring more blood flow to your vagina. And even though your doctor might recommend some sort of estrogen therapy, there are some natural ways to get more estrogen into your system. Some of those things include eating more phytoestrogens (plant-based compounds that mimic estrogen) like sunflower seeds, walnuts, apples, grapes, and yams; taking an herbal supplement that contains phytoestrogens like dong quai, black cohosh, or chasteberry (you might want to run this by your physician first; especially if you’re on some sort of medication), and putting your body on a sleep schedule so that your rest habits are consistent.
9.You will be more vulnerable to STDs and UTIs.
Unfortunately, the natural loss of estrogen could also put you at risk for more STDs and UTIs (urinary tract infections). Why? Well, remember how I said earlier that your vaginal walls get thinner as you age? This means that they are more vulnerable to infection and, as far as UTIs go specifically, they are also more vulnerable to the growth of bad bacteria.
Solution:
This is why it’s such a ridiculous myth that once you’re past menopause, you shouldn’t worry about using condoms because if you can’t get pregnant anymore, what’s to worry about? Listen, someone in their 70s can get an STD just as much as someone in their 20s can — some might say easier and quicker. As far as UTIs go, adding PURE cranberry juice (not the cocktail stuff) more into your diet; being intentional about peeing right after sex; avoiding the use of feminine hygiene products that contain harsh chemicals; consuming foods that are high in vitamin C (like red berries, cauliflower, tomatoes, papaya, and garlic); and wiping from front to back will all help to keep the risk of contracting one down.
10.Sex might be uncomfortable.
Thin vaginal walls and a dry va-jay-jay are not exactly ideal for some mind-blowing sex — that’s for sure. So, if you’ve not really noticed any of what I’ve said but all of a sudden sex feels less comfortable than it used to, this could also be a sign that an aging vagina is upon you.
Solution:
The good news is applying some of the things that you’ve already read can help to make it more pleasant. So can changing positions, so that you are more in control of penetration. Ones that make this possible include the cowgirl position (you know, being on top), the lotus position (where you and your partner face each other while becoming a human pretzel), and the spoon position (where you each are on your side and he enters you from behind).
Aging — including vulva and vaginal aging — is a part of life. Once you accept it, you can get ahead of the process by putting these tips into practice.
Either way, don’t be too hard on the aging process that “she’s” either experiencing or going to experience. She’s been good to you. Give her time of “seasoning” some respect. She’s earned it.
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