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In a move that makes us so happy, the ever-so-stunning Ryan Destiny has been making her rounds lately, showing off her subtle but enamoring vibe in recent appearances with Vogue, HelloBeautiful, and even Doja Cat's new "Need to Know" music video. The former Star actress and singer also took a moment to join Harper Baazar for their 'Go to Bed With Me' segment, a video series where various celebs show off their nighttime skincare routines.

This appearance was our absolute fave because to see her demonstrating how to maintain her beautifully radiant skin is something we all want to know, right?! Right. So, sis...we gotchu just in time for summer!

Here a guide on how to achieve Ryan Destiny's poppin and oh so melanated skin:

What you'll need:

La Mer The Cleansing Oil ($95)

Black Opal Blemish Control Bar ($6.50)

Black Opal Lip Oil ($6.25)

CosMedix Clarity Serum ($42, or $35 with subscription)

Black Opal Brightening and Plumping Serum ($14.95)

​Harper’s Bazaar/YouTube

Rocking a blow-out for the gawds, after a cute intro, Ryan opens with this one simple, but loud, tip:

"Wash your hands. Wash your hands before you start anything."

She then proceeds to use the La Mer Cleansing oil and thoroughly massages the product all over her face and neck. Get in there good ladies, this step is important!

"Rub it all over my face, get down on my neck. And once I feel that it's all broken down, I am going to rinse."

Harper's Bazaar/YouTube

Next up, Ryan focuses on a problem area that many of us have: hyperpigmentation. To combat this, she uses the Black Opal Blemish Control Bar, a brand she has used since she was 16 years old. She is also the face of the brand, which is Black woman-owned.

"What's really really great for the hyperpigmentation that I sort of have a lot of right now, is the . It's like extra, extra important to me to take of all of the makeup before you go to bed. It just makes such a difference. It's the worst when you go to sleep with your makeup still on, and you just know it just sets you back like a whole week."

Harper's Bazaar/YouTube

Destiny then moves on to hydrating her lips with the Black Opal Lip Oil.

"I kinda sorta sorta kinda kinda have chapped lips. But not anymore becuase I did a lot of trial and error, and I found something that works for me. It works with my makeup as well. It nourishes and hydrates my lips, it's not there to just look pretty, you know."

Harper's Bazaar/YouTube

As a final step, she moves on to her serums for pigmented skin and dark spots. Here she uses the CosMedix Clarity Serum and Black Opal Brightening and Plumping Serum.

"This is also really great for prepping your makeup. I use this serum right before I start doing my makeup. It like, glides right on and helps my makeup look better and apply on my skin better."

We stan a simple but effective routine, sis!

Watch the full video below:

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Featured image by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET

Marriage is a subject in our society that has followed women everywhere since the beginning of time. We can't even be out here living our best lives because someone, somewhere, is going to ask about it. And for single, accomplished women everywhere, the subject of marriage usually never goes away.

I think back to a tweet from Necole Kane that had me snapping with the stank face all night:

Man, listen...

We can all likely agree that for women who are out here getting to these bags and minding their business, the subject of marriage is dreaded, it's unwarranted, and it's downright rude. Or at least it can be.

Hear me out. 

Marriage rates have declined over the years and actually only continue to do so. That's mostly because years ago, getting married and having children was the expectation. But over the last two decades, those expectations have shifted, with fewer and fewer folks considering marriage a necessity. A 2017 report from the Pew Research Center found one in seven people who've never been married, don't want to get married. One in seven. And another 27 percent of people aren't sure how they feel about marriage.

Additionally, a 2019 Pew report found just 17 percent of people think marriage is essential for a woman to have a fulfilling life (16 percent for men), and three in 10 people think being married is simply not important.

This is a shift that we all see, but don't often consider. And even celebs (some married, some not) with large platforms are vocal about never planning for marriage, and showing us every day that it is absolutely OK not to. For example:

Oprah Winfrey

If we look on the scope of marriage on the infamous scale of marriage vs. success, no other woman comes to mind more than Oprah Winfrey. You see, Oprah comes from trauma. Her entire upbringing was tied to Black pain. This may or may not have had an impact on her decision to never marry her long-term partner, Stedman Graham in hindsight, but either way, that particular license is not something she wants to have.

Winfrey has been open about not being married or having children before, and she said she had no regrets about it. She told People magazine that at the time, her show required 17-hour workdays and she would return home to her dogs and to Graham. She said her partner let her be who she needed to be in the world:

"He's never demanding anything from me like, 'Where's my breakfast? Where's my dinner?' Never any of that, which I believed would have changed had we married. No question about it – we would not stay married because of what that would have meant to him, and I would have had my own ideas about it."

Not to say she never thought about it before, as she has mentioned that at one point, it was a part of her plan. As we know, this never happened and Oprah is OK with her decision.

Instead, she "got to fulfill [being a mom and wife] in the way that was best for me," which of course has been through her partnership and her Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa.

Meagan Good

Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage

Meagan Good is the actress that we all grew up with since she was 12 years old. And although married now, she never looked to being so as a "goal." She was, or is, even unsure if kids are in her future. During an episode of Established with Angela Yee, the Think Like a Man actress said she never really aspired to marriage or to motherhood.

"I was always very much focused on my career because that's all I knew my whole life and it's what I love."

In fact, her change of heart didn't come until after she married her husband, DeVon Franklin, when she realized that she can be a mother and still maintain who she is, which she never viewed as going hand-in-hand prior.

"I can still be the true identity of who I am and I can also be a mother and be a great one. So, I've just now gotten to that place and I'll be 40 [this] year and I'm like, 'OK, it's about that time!'"

Shonda Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes is another culture giant who has said that marriage was never for her. And sis literally means never. When Shonda isn't taking over our screens and securing the $100 million Netflix bag, she is perfectly fine with being the Rich Auntie that we all secretly have inside. The screenwriter has previously spoken out about how she doesn't intend on ever tying the knot with someone. She revealed to Entertainment Weekly:

"I was seriously dating somebody and I was like, 'I don't want to do this.' We're all so conditioned to want it, I felt like there must be something wrong with me. But the minute I said it out loud to my family, it was fantastic. Now if somebody says, 'Are you looking for that?' I say, 'Nope, looking for a boyfriend, not a husband.' And there's a freedom to that. There's no pressure if you're not looking for it."

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes, who's starred in movies such as Training Day and Hitch, declared her disinterest in marriage during an appearance on Chelsea Lately in 2011.

"I actually think it's really sexy to be with someone in your 50s and 60s and be like, 'That's my boyfriend.' I think husband and wife is just . . . very unsexy."

In fact, like Meagan, Mendes revealed she never even wanted kids or saw herself as a mother.

"I don't wanna have kids. I love the little suckers; they're so cute but I love sleep so much and I worry about everything."

However, this all changed the moment she met her partner of over almost a decade, The Notebook's Ryan Gosling. Mendes even credits Gosling for her change of heart in regards to becoming a mom because although the couple have yet to marry, she knew he was her soulmate. Now a mother of two kids, she told Women's Health:

"Ryan Gosling happened. I mean, falling in love with him. Then it made sense for me to have…not kids, but his kids. It was very specific to him."

Whew.

Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling's story is the opposite as she went from overly desiring to wed, to never entertaining the thought. The Office star told Good Housekeeping:

"When I was younger, I wanted so badly to be married and have kids in a rush. I loved my parents' relationship. The way my father was with my mother when she was dying was so moving. It was such devotion. I don't know that that will happen for me, but I like it."

But sis also doesn't want you to confuse the two. She adds:

"I don't need marriage. I don't need anyone to take care of all my needs and desires. I can take care of them myself now."

The actress now has two kids, though she's not revealed with who--not even to close friends.

The evolution of marriage for women has slowly become a highly-debatable lifestyle, and the trend is only gaining steam. In fact, women who truly never aspire to marriage shouldn't be considered normalized because for some, not wanting to marry is normal. And in my best and loudest Auntie Tabitha voice: and that's they business.

Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!

Featured image by WireImage via Getty Images

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks about love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

When the pandemic hit, it really changed the way we connected with one another. While yes, social media has always been around, it has never been relied on as much as it is now. Especially within the last year. Social media became instrumental in building relationships as it continues to be a main source in making new friends, business partners, and, of course love interests. I mean, when it comes to love interests we are all familiar with the swipe left, swipe right, and the DM slide. But it is much more special when social media is actually the motivator for you to fly out and meet the woman of your dreams, who lives almost 1,000 miles away.

A simple scroll and a nice charming smile is what caught Andrea Fernandes' eye to really see what Jibre Hordges was all about. The 25- and 27-year-old were able to connect and after a couple of weeks of text messages and phone calls, the now-couple decided that distance or a pandemic was not going to hold them back. Andrea mentions, "I felt like time flew by when we were together. When we met in-person, we were able to talk for hours and hours."

The couple made it official in June 2020. Since their initial meeting online, Andrea and Jibre have been positive influences in each other's lives. They have been complementing each other's strengths and challenging each other's areas of improvement. They support each other through their own individual journeys of growth and never losing sight of faith. While Andrea and Jibre are still in a long-distance relationship, they are dedicated to spending that quality time together. For these two, they are only one call and a flight away.

In this installment of xoNecole's How We Met, the publicist and actor shares how their love continues to grow by honest communication, speaking each other's love languages, and keeping God as a shared value.

How We Met

Andrea: I was scrolling through Instagram one day and I came across Jibre's page. I saw that one of my friends followed him too. So I sent his photo to my friend and asked, "Who is this man?" (laughs) I will say that if it wasn't for my friend also following him, I probably wouldn't have tried to connect with him. After some time, I decided to reply to one of his IG stories. This is something I have never done to a guy, I honestly don't know. But I liked his teeth, so I decided to give it a shot (laughs).

Jibre: After our mutual friend told Andrea who I was, we started following each other. We followed each other for about two weeks before we even said anything to each other. I lowkey had my eye on her, but it's all about timing. Since she reached out to me when I was already planning to reach out to her, I thought, Say less, let's do it (laughs). When we started following each other, I already noticed that she stayed in New York. But I work for an airline. So I was willing to fly out to see her, no problem. We talked for a couple weeks before we decided to finally meet in-person. We worked with each other's schedules and I flew out to see her.

"When we started following each other, I already noticed that she stayed in New York. But I work for an airline. So I was willing to fly out to see her, no problem. We talked for a couple weeks before we decided to finally meet in-person. We worked with each other's schedules and I flew out to see her."

Courtesy of Andrea Fernandes

First Impressions

Jibre: From talking those few weeks, I already knew that I liked her. But when I met her in-person, I immediately thought she was beautiful. We talked to each other for hours and just picked each other's brain. Her brain is definitely a reflection of her beauty.

Andrea: I thought he was very nice. Overall, he exceeded my expectations. I felt like time just flew by when we were together. We actually had dinner reservations that night, but ended up skipping it because we continued to just talk and get to know each other more. The chemistry between us was there from the start.

Courtship

Jibre: So after we met, I flew out a couple of more times to hang out with her. But after the second time we hung out, Andrea was honestly a little skeptical about moving forward with us. Initially, I was down for it. I was thinking about her all the time. I was calling her, texting her, and telling my friends about her. But she was trying to ghost me the whole time (laughs).

Andrea: I know I am in the hot seat now (laughs). But yes, I was definitely second-guessing myself. I felt that I was moving kind of fast with him and it honestly scared me. I was coming into the year where I was focusing on myself and self-love. So even though I did like him, I thought maybe I like him a little too much (laughs). So I tried to distance myself from him. My thinking behind it was, I would rather save myself now before I fall too deep and there's no turning back. But it wasn't until one day I was with my mom and she saw me ignoring his calls. She was the one who told me to answer and I listened (laughs).

Jibre: I didn't know that was how she felt. It really caught me by surprise because I thought things were going well. But thankfully, I was persistent.

Courtesy of Andrea Fernandes

Making Things Official

Andrea: So a month later, I invited him on a group trip with my friends. That was when I could picture myself being with him. The way he put in the effort to actually make it to the trip meant a lot. It was a little challenging, but he was dedicated to making it happen. My friends also loved him, so that was a plus (smiles).

Jibre: It was around the same time for me too. When we met, she mentioned that she mainly focuses on herself and self-love. So when I started seeing changes where she was including me in her life, it made me feel like she was choosing me to stick around. At first, I was thinking about making things official on Valentine's Day. But even though it didn't happen right then, the weekend with her friends was a huge weekend for the both of us.

The "L" Word

Jibre: We were having a lot of difficulties starting out. For one thing, I am a Gemini and she is a Taurus. And if you know about astrology, Tauruses can be some tough cookies. I was getting that stubborn side of her and we clashed a lot. Some people would agree that when you keep clashing, it's easier to walk away. But as time went on, any time I felt I wanted to walk away, I just couldn't. My heart would keep telling me to stay and make it work. It had been years since I had been in love. So I knew this had to be real love because I didn't want to be with anyone else.

Andrea: We did conflict quite a bit in the beginning. I always told him that we would clash over our differences and our similarities. It was tough. I am usually the person that can walk away from things easily, but I couldn't with him. So I knew it was different. My heart was truly in this and he was honestly everything I ever wanted. There's this song that says, "I would rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else." It's so true with him and I just love him.

"I am usually the person that can walk away from things easily, but I couldn't with him. So I knew it was different. My heart was truly in this and he was honestly everything I ever wanted. There's this song that says, 'I would rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else.' It's so true with him and I just love him."

Courtesy of Andrea Fernandes

Favorite Things

Andrea: My favorite thing about him is also the main thing I complain about the most (laughs). Jibre is kind of a neat freak. I jokingly make fun of him all the time for it. But his organization actually pushes me to be more organized in my life. So I don't think he knows how much of a positive influence that has been for me.

Jibre: My favorite thing about Andrea is that she genuinely wants me to be a better person. She is willing to tell me the things that other people won't tell me. Like the things that I don't want to hear, but I need to hear. I can really appreciate that because it just means she wants me to be the best version of myself.

Early Challenges

Andrea: I grew up an only child. So I was always focused on myself, even if I was in a relationship. When Jibre and I got together, I struggled a little with providing what he needed from me. I am a huge advocate for self-love. But I am learning now that I can balance loving myself and prioritizing him as well in my life. Jibre and I worked together on what I could do more of to show that I am still considering him, while I still work towards my personal goals.

Jibre: In conflict, I have noticed that when I get angry or emotional, I tend to just react and not think things through. I have learned that sometimes in a relationship, you have to look at yourself and give yourself grace. You have to know yourself enough to be honest and hold yourself accountable when you may be wrong. We have strengths and weaknesses. So learning what your weaknesses are and then working on them, is a good way that has helped us be better together as a couple.

"We have strengths and weaknesses. So learning what your weaknesses are and then working on them, is a good way that has helped us be better together as a couple."

Courtesy of Andrea Fernandes

Love Languages

Andrea: I still tell Jibre that I think he changed my love language. At first, when I took the test, all the areas were even (laughs). So I figured, I guess I need all of them (laughs). But when you truly love someone, you want to be loved in a different way by that person. So when I took the test again, it showed I value physical touch and words of affirmation more than the other areas.

Jibre: My number one is physical touch. Growing up, my mom was very affectionate with me. So that stuck with me as I got older and now I am a very affectionate person. My number two was quality time, but while being with Andrea, it has grown into acts of service. At the end of the day, we make sure we give each other the entire spectrum.

Love Lessons

Jibre: Man, love is so complex. But true love wins every time. Being in a relationship has definitely taught me that you have to be patient with your partner. It's important that we are still learning from each other and with that you have to have patience through each other's growth. God is also the center in everything we do. So keeping him as a foundation in our relationship is very important to us.

Andrea: Keeping our faith is definitely something we share. I think another thing that has been an important lesson is a sense of understanding who your partner is. To really get out of your head sometimes and put yourself in your partner's shoes. Like how something I do may make him feel and vice versa. People can be really set in their own ways. But if you make it a point to understand your partner's point of view on things, it is really essential.

For more of Andrea and Jibre, follow them on Instagram @drea.lisanna, @jibrehordges, and @jibreandrea.

Featured image courtesy of Andrea Fernandes

When thinking of basics, I tend to think of a plain white, neutral or black staple that can be worn with just about anything in my wardrobe. From white tees to denim jeans, these are the type of classics most of us already own which means it's time to think outside the box when refreshing our mix of summer basics. After a tumultuous 15 months, I'm seeing a new trend emerge in the world of everyday fashion that I can only attribute to the excitement of getting dressed with somewhere to go. One of my favorites this season, the asymmetrical knit has been on my radar for the past few months and I'm loving how this simple yet chic detail can quickly elevate a look especially when paired with other cool basics.

This season is an era of sexy "basics" reminiscent of the early 2000's fashion evolution, full of risky decisions yet quirky perspectives on styles, brands today are redefining what it means to wear basics. Gone are the days of blending in, these are the knit basics that will effortlessly stand out.

Now Trending: White on White

One of my favorite looks this season, this white on white combination is an effortlessly sleek look with a one shoulder knit tank paired with super lightweight utility pants. Both top and bottom from Black-owned lifestyle brand, Local European, are a reimagining of classic staples. I love the combination of an asymmetrical design and knit tank top.

The lightweight wide leg bottoms are a trend on the rise as we transition from oversized knit sweatpants for a cooler summer option. Paired with another summer must-have, a black thong sandal is the last and final touch.

Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole


Now Trending: Wide Leg

Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole

Another chic and easy way to pair an asymmetrical top this summer is with a wide leg denim jean. The perfect casual look when out and about town or heading to a local farmers market, I decided to wear a fun one-toe flat slide for an even more stylish approach. With a pop of color and my go-to square sunnies, this is one of the most comfortable chic looks.

Now Trending: Maximalism

All basics may not be created equal but there are options for everyone, including maximalists. For those that need color in their everyday lives, this vibrantly orange one shoulder knit is a fierce choice for an edgier take on a casual look. Pairing this new age asymmetrical knit top with a classic cargo is a balanced approach to this season's one shoulder trend. Having fun, I added a yellow thong sandal to complete this color-blocked look.

Read all about fashion and style here.

Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole


Images by Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole

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To hear in 2021, a time where existence has been going on for millions of years, that someone is the first Black anything, is almost mind-blowing, but it definitely is still something that happens. And frequently, actually. Thankfully, this label has re-emerged with one of our dear faves, a woman way beyond her time who is everything we love to see in a modern woman, Ms. Teyana TF Taylor.

That's right, she has been named as Maxim's 'Sexiest Woman Alive' in their 2021 Women of Influence issue. The publication took to social media to share the news, showing off Teyana Taylor's infamously insane physique and chiseled facial expressions and abs in tow. Additionally, the cover is accompanied by a full interview with Teyana, as the muse took a moment to marvel at her own damn self and share the backstory of how the organic cover happened. She wrote on IG:

"Somebody pinch me!!!! Maxim Hot 100 to be named the 'Sexiest Woman alive' by literally living in the skin I'm in. WOW....Stepping back in front of the lens has been a journey of self-reflection and self-confidence. Living up to name and title of this shoot wholeheartedly made me nervous."

She continued:

"This particular day was dope because it made me see another side of myself. I had just dropped JUNIE off at school before heading straight to the shoot; sweatpants a beanie and an army jacket. My hair wasn't done for a "shoot" because I planned on throwing on a wig & I didn't have on any make up. But when I got there the legendary @Gilles_bensimon said and I quote…. "Let's shoot! I want you to stay in this…" Um I guess...." as confused as I was my heart also melted..."

Taylor then goes on to give advice to the ladies in the most 'Teyana Taylor way', by quoting Hepburn and simply saying:

"Embrace and love yourselves for who and what you are because only the purest heart shines through."

Yesssss, sis.

And what's amazing about her latest job title isn't that she was named as such, because I mean, look at her. But instead, the celebration for me is that this news is released during a time where she has felt so underappreciated in an industry she has given so much to. Taylor infamously retired from music at the end of 2020, announcing that she was over it all. She then backed up her decision on an episode of Cam Newton's BET series Sip 'N Smoke, telling him:

"Everybody that I'm aligned with should see me. They should hear me. They should feel me. I felt like the label wasn't really hearing me and seeing me. I felt underappreciated. So, for my mental health, my mental well-being, for my kids, let me just put this on ice for a little [bit]. It's not that I retired permanently. It's more like, I just don't feel like I want to move another inch for a company."

Thankfully, sis isn't going anywhere anytime soon and even touches on a few of her upcoming projects, including the viral exchange between her and Auntie Dionne Warwick about her biopic. She also discusses her role in Coming 2 America, her director alter ego, Spike Tey, and showing off her family life in an upcoming E! reality television show premiering this fall called, We Got Love Teyana & Iman.

We can't think of anyone more deserving of the flowers coming her way so to this cover, we say 'thank you' to Maxim for telling the world what so many of us already knew. Congrats, Teyana!

Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!

Featured image via Rich Fury/Getty Images for Def Jam Recordings