Keepin' It Locked 'Til She Gets A Rock: Insecure's Yvonne Orji On Being A 32-Year-Old Virgin
If you have ever tuned into an episode of HBO's standout Insecure, you have probably fallen in love with Issa Rae and her best friend Molly. Molly truly embodies the every woman. She's struggled finding a man, finding balance in the workplace, and still managing to find time for drinks with friends.
Molly, whose real name is Yvonne Orji, is a Nigerian-American who attended George Washington University. She grew up with the dream of being a medical doctor until she realized that she couldn’t bare the sight or smell of blood. She also flunked organic chemistry (how can you be a doctor and flunk your science courses right?).
Not wanting to disappoint her parents, she compromised by obtaining her Master’s in Public Health. During that time, she entered into the Miss Nigeria in America Pageant and when she realized she didn’t have a talent, she prayed and God told her to “do comedy”. It was her first step in the right direction as far as accomplishing her purpose in life.
Recently, our favorite TV girlfriend appeared on The Breakfast Club and shocked us all when she revealed that she is nothing like the character she plays on television. She also dropped gems the entire interview, took us to church and had us all feeling like we too could reclaim our power!
Here are 6 things we learned from Yvonne Orji during her TBC interview that will restore your faith in your life's purpose:
When God Says "Move", You Move
When asked how she got started in comedy, the Insecure co-star simply stated that one day she heard God say to pursue comedy so she did it. How often have you heard God tell you to do something or put something in your heart to do and you don't do it because of the risks that "might lie ahead". When God says move, you move, just like that (yes I just remixed Jesus with Ludacris, don't judge me).
[Tweet "When God says "Move", you move. Just like that. "]
Own Who You Are, No Matter Who Tries To Judge You
Yvonne, despite her character Molly’s sex life, is a 32-year-old virgin. Charlamagne jokingly told her that she played her character a little too well to be a virgin but Yvonne persisted that this was in fact her truth.
“Personally, I had plans to have sex when I turned 18. I was dating [a guy] and I had it figured out. But, I got to college at 17 in D.C and then I got saved.”
In a world where women especially are practically forced to compete with the next beautiful woman on social media, at school, the mall or even at work, Yvonne wears her 32-year-old virginity proudly despite judgement from both her male and female friends. She even has her own line of tees that bare the slogan, "Keepin' It Locked Til I Get That Rock."
Social media does a great job at making us feel as if we have to hide who we truly are but when you willingly lie to others about who you are, you’re devaluing your own self worth. Live and own your truth unapologetically and shine bright like the diamond you are.
[Tweet "Live and own your truth unapologetically and shine bright like the diamond you are."]
You Don't Finish In Second Place, You Win
Yvonne recently got an African tattoo tatted on her arm. In her native language, the tattoo translates in English as "We don't finish in second place, we win". We as women often struggle with accepting our victories and, in turn, settle with just simply finishing. Yvonne reminds us all we don't play to finish, we play to win.
Your Parents Don't Always Know Best
Yvonne recounted when she had to tell her parents that she no longer wanted to go to med school and feared they would not support her. She recounts:
“I was supposed to go to med school. I have a masters in public health because I delayed telling my parents that I wasn’t going to go to med school. After I got my Master's, I worked in Liberia and then finally I was like, 'Uh, okay so, do you realize that you should not chicken out and tell them what they want you to do is not what you want to do?' Like, how many degrees can you get before you tell your parents that you’re not going to med school?”
Growing up, she was surrounded by a supportive tribe and to veer from the path that had been laid for her was unconventional. She admitted she watched very little television growing up so the idea of her being an actor was unconventional but she knew that it was her heart's purpose and despite her parents' opinion she pursued and in 7 years (1 year less than if she would've gone to med school), she scored her big break.
Use What's In Your Hands
Ivonne vividly recalls a time where God asked her one of many rhetorical questions: "What's in your hands?" To which she replied, "If I knew, I wouldn't be crying right now," she recalls laughingly. That night she went to sleep and recounted waking up and seeing the scripture in Psalms 31:15 that read "My times are in your hands." She told God she would give him one more chance to fulfill the promises He had for her and instantly she began to "write her way out". Her next move proved to be her best move.
Sometimes People Will Help You Just Because You're Favored
Ever heard the phrase "favor ain't fair"? Yvonne knows that firsthand as she admits that she has openly asked people for help in her career along the way simply because she knows she had God's favor. In spite of how hard you work (or don't work), there are some things that naturally just come to you because of your unmerited favor. Don't shy away from open doors, walk through them, you deserve it.
[Tweet "Don't shy away from open doors, walk through them, you deserve it."]
Want to learn more about Yvonne Orji's journey? Catch the full interview below:
You can also check her out on the hit show Insecure on HBO.
If you’re a business owner (or even aspiring business owner) you know the importance of ending the year with a bang and stepping into a new one like the boss you are. You also know that productivity is key.
While many people are spending time making New Year’s Resolutions that they may or may not keep, you’re probably somewhere strategizing your last moves of the year and getting ready for the new ones you’ll make once the clock strikes 12 and if you’re not, you still have time to catch up.
Recently, our favorite girl boss and mentor (in our heads) Shonda Rhimes, who is most famously known for producing (and creating and doing writing for some of them) four of the world’s favorite television shows (Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away With Murder and PrivatePractice), sat down with Fast Company and dropped a few gems that will not only increase your productivity, but hopefully also your coin in the new year. As an outsider looking in, I always wondered how Shonda has managed to have four television shows while also raising small children.
Get out your pen and paper, it’s time to take notes.
Don’t Let People Steal Your Time
If Shonda said it, it’s bible, and I’ll debate anyone who tells me otherwise.
Recently, Shonda adopted a new habit during the day that involves working the first hour of her day from home. This new habit was created after Shonda felt that being in the office during the day allowed people to lean on her for everything when they could just lean on each other and allow her to be in her own creative space.
Even if your day doesn’t involve working in an office, be mindful of people who knowingly or unknowingly steal your time. This may mean setting your phone to Do Not Disturb during the busiest hours of your day or perhaps ignoring a text until you finish that proposal.
[Tweet "Time is money and, for every minute wasted, is a dollar you willingly throw down the drain."]
Stop Focusing on Problems, Focus on Solutions
As an entrepreneur, there is always going to be a problem that you need to fix. If you’re fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on who you ask) to have a team of employees, it is almost inevitable that you will be tasked with the responsibility to try to fix every problem that comes your way.
Shonda proudly boasts that she encourages her employees to never come to her with problems and if they do, they better have a solution.
Discussing problems takes up a lot of your positive energy and creative juices so, instead of focusing on what went wrong, try focusing on how to make it better. At the end of the day, nobody is going to care about what your problem was, they’re going to care about how you overcame it.
[Tweet "No one cares about what your problem was, they care about how you overcame it."]
If You’re the Know It All in Your Circle, Change Circles
There’s a famous quote that’s probably floating through social media even as we speak that says, "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room,” and Shonda echoes that same sentiment:
“I think it's really important to be surrounded by people who know more stuff than you do, and are better at it than you are."
If you take a look around your inner circle, or even towards the people you spend the most time with professionally, and you’re the know-it-all in your group, you may need to look for a new group to surround yourself with.
As a business professional, it’s important to always be evolving and if you’re the one who is always imparting knowledge and information into others, then who is imparting knowledge into you?
[Tweet "“It's really important to be surrounded by people who know more stuff than you do, and are better at it than you are." - @shondarhimes"]
You Don’t Have to Do it All Today, Tomorrow Isn’t Going Anywhere
When you’re your own boss, it can become difficult to have an off-switch. You may literally get to a point that you are spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week working just because there’s nobody around to tell you to stop (unless you have someone in your circle who knows when to get you in check).
Shonda recounts a time when one of her executive producers had to remind her to focus on the things that were right in front of her. She remembers being angry when he would repeatedly tell her, "Shonda, this work will always be there tomorrow.” While she didn’t understand it then, she understands now.
“I try to focus on climbing this piece of the mountain, and then think about climbing the rest of it later,” Shonda says of her newfound approach to life.
As an entrepreneur, you might feel as though you have to complete projects the moment they land on your lap in order to make room for additional projects; however, if you can’t get it done today, it’s okay. Seriously. Take a deep breath and have at it again tomorrow. Sometimes walking away from a project gives you a different viewpoint once you pick it up again.
Never Be Afraid To Take Time For You
She shares her most coveted secret with Fast Company, and that is, she makes taking time for herself a priority.
During the hustle and bustle of the day for an entrepreneur, it can become hard to schedule in quiet time. Shonda suggests that you take the stillness and quietness of the beginning of the day (when you first wake up) to either focus on you or simply take in the moment.
Being readily available to other people at any given moment can have its pros and cons. On one hand, people will praise you for always being available, but on the other hand, you lose a little piece of yourself when you don’t take time to simply take care of you.
A wise woman once said, if “Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.
Want to get more gems from Shonda’s interview with Fast Company click here.
What are some positive actions you're making towards productivity to get the new year started off right? Let us know in the comments below!
Women Are Rapping About Their Insecurities to Beyonce's "Ego" And We Are More Than Here For It
"We're all self-conscious, I'm just the first to admit it."
I still remember those famous lyrics from Kanye West early in his career when he released the timeless classic entitled, "All Falls Down". The song poetically takes us through the life of a young Kanye who spends the entire track rapping about his insecurities and how he uses his insecurities to power his self-esteem.
Back in those early days, I didn't fully understand the lyrical content behind the song, but now as a grown black woman who's constantly inundated with images of "perfection", I get it. Man, do I get it.
I wish my butt was bigger.
I wish my hair was longer.
I wish I had more curves.
I wish I was lighter.
I wish I was darker.
Wishes, wishes, wishes, we've all stood in front of the mirror or in front of our girlfriends wishing we could change something about ourselves and, in 2017, a woman who goes by the name of @Oranicuuh on social media is no longer here for it.
Now Internet famous for being the creator of the #EgoChallenge, @Oranicuhh challenged her followers to join in on her challenge of freestyling to beat of Beyonce"s "Ego" when she posted a video captioned, "I wanna start the #egochallenge. We all have flaws and it's better to brag about them to be insecure. Y'all should join in!"
[embed]https://mobile.twitter.com/oranicuhh/status/826189536858370048[/embed]
In the video, she rapped the lyrics:
Yeah I got a gap but I still get y'all to bite
Yeah I'm chubby but I think it helps to keep my pockets tight
I'm dark as night, I'm chocolate talk about an overdose of melanin
What followed her video post was a phenomenal response from black women across social media not only applauding her for being brave enough to rap about her insecurities, but also responding with videos of their own.
As I scrolled through the various videos, I couldn't help but secretly wish I too was brave enough to hop on the mic and kick my own verse. Black girls are magical. When we as black women come together, we have a way of making everybody feel good and the #EgoChallenge is evidence of that.
[Tweet "When black women come together, we have a way of making everybody feel good and the #EgoChallenge is evidence of that."]
Over the last few days, the #EgoChallenge has literally become a liberating movement across the Internet for women to acknowledge and overcome their insecurities through music.
Thanks to social media, reality TV, and, let's face it, sometimes even our own brothers, we as women are often led to believe we're never enough. We fix one flaw only to identify another one and before you know it, we have become obsessed with fixing the amazing qualities God has blessed us with in attempt to please who? Everybody but ourselves.
[Tweet "We're leaving the outrageous idea that we are defined by our insecurities in 2016."]
It's a waste of time and, in some cases, a waste of the coin you could be using to empower yourself and ain't nobody got time for that!
So to every woman who has been told she's too fat, too skinny, too dark, too light, big head, small head, big hips, no hips, and a host of other things....
Girl.
You're still beautiful and if "they" don't see it (who is they anyway?) it's their problem, not yours.
I talk like this because I've seen that WE can back it up!
Check out some of our favorites below:
Here's to embracing our flaws and finding empowerment in our failings!
Have you ever heard of the #EgoChallenge? What would your verse look like? Share them with us in the comments below!
This Howard University Grad Is The Mastermind Behind Solange's Halo Braided Style On SNL
Every girl, both young and small, dreams of the day that she can wake up to that one dream that she kept silent for all these years would some way somehow manifest and become her reality. Every one of us has a big dreamer lying inside of us (even if she is dormant and needs to be awakened).
Evidence that even big, and what many may call, unrealistic dreams can still come true exists and can be found in the story of Shani Crowe.
Shani, a 2011 graduate of Howard University, has always known the power of attracting what she wants. As a young child, she often watched her aunts and cousins braid her hair and, simply by watching, she was able to pick up the skill. As she got older, she began to try some of the styles she had seen her aunts and cousins do, and even in the midst of a few style fails she became what she calls a “walking advertisement for herself”.
As time progressed and Shani truly began to come into her own, she instantly began to see the power in Black Girl Magic and wanted to broadcast that to every single black girl she encountered. She created a photography exhibit “Braids”, which went on to be displayed display at MoCADA (the Museum of Contemporary African Diasporan Arts).
While many of her friends and fellow colleagues would have been content with simply having artwork displayed at a local museum, Shani is a firm believer that you must always remain motivated from the inside.
[Tweet "You must always remain motivated from the inside."]
That motivation on the inside for black women often runs deep in our veins and becomes so evident that our outer glow is one that cannot be dimmed even in the darkest rooms. Shani’s outer glow shined bright and that glow was recognized in the most unexpected way.
If you are one of the millions of viewers that tuned into Saturday Night Live over the weekend to see Solange perform from her critically-acclaimed #1 album, A Seat at the Table, then you have already witnessed the greatness of Shani’s work. A piece that took over 50 hours to create, Shani is the mastermind behind Solange’s Braided Halo.
Shani admits she had never styled Solange or any other celebrity before when she received a message asking if she would design a headpiece for her SNL performance. It was in that moment she realized that she had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sink or sail.
She shared with Fader:
"The Halo is made from over a hundred feet of braided hair layered and wrapped around an armature. It is strung with around 2,000 Swarovski crystal beads in three sizes, two colors, and two shapes."
While many artists would have possibly declined such a large opportunity due to lack of experience, Shani refused to turn back and knew that this was her shot to finally be able to use her work to inspire black people to be proud of the skin they are in.
"[braids] are coming out in pop culture and being exploited as a trend in the fashion scene, I think it’s important for me to honor them, before there’s a time when people don’t even remember them as a traditional black art."
In a culture that has only recently begun to accept black skin as true beauty, we can all take a lesson from Shani’s book and that lesson is to simply keep shining because you never know who’s watching.
Watch the performance below
Follow Shani Crowe and her work @crowezilla.
What do you get when you get five hilariously funny black girls who all share Hot 97 work experience in a room with five different personalities, and five different life experiences? You get the Black Girl Podcast.
The Black Girl Podcast is a new audio series available for download on iTunes and was created by Scottie Beam (Digital producer for Ebro In The Morning), Gia Peppers (entertainment journalist/on-air host), Sapphira Martin (Chief curator at SassBoxx), Bex (Video production coordinator at Hot 97), and Alysha P. (Hot 97 video producer) who all met while crossing paths in the hallways of Hot 97.
The ladies just so happened to be discussing relationships in the lobby of the station one day when, Program Director and morning show host, Ebro Darden passed by and decided to Snapchat a video that said, "This is what it looks like to be in a room full of black women. This should be a black girl podcast."
A light bulb went off and the five ambitious women stepped into the studio for their first show shortly afterwards. Each week, subscribers can expect conversation topics that include everything from the presidency and heartbreak to goal-setting and whether or not Beyonce's Lemonade was really a good album.
With only a few episodes and a new president stepping into the office, we need the black girl podcast to win for the culture for a list of reasons:
To Remind Us To Follow Our Dreams
One of the podcast's hosts proudly announced that she was quitting her job to jump into full-time entrepreneurship. Some of the ladies celebrated, while others paused because they realized that this would mean that their five person crew would no longer be a five person crew. The response was a classic black girl response, but it also reminded us that sometimes you have to follow your dreams even if that means leaving your comfort zone and friends behind.
"It's about having balance...It's about knowing who to call and what friend to go to for certain advice. You have to realize it's about the journey, and (in) five years you are going to look back and say, 'I'm so happy it went like that.'"
- Alysha P.
To Encourage Us
In episode two, our new favorite podcast hosts delved into the question of if it is okay to share your dreams with others. While the opinion was split half and half, Gia Peppers response empowered us all by reminding us that if we don't share our dreams with others how will we ever be able to find people who can help us?
Church!!
To Remind Us of Why We're Magical
Listening to one episode of the Black Girl Podcast will probably have you laughing hysterically and also have you wondering which hosts closely align with you and your friends. While each woman represents a very distinct personality, the way the girls mesh together so effortlessly reminds us why black girls are so magical.
"We are here to dispel the stereotypes of what a black girl or black woman is. There are a lot of stereotypes but then there are also these great moments when people come together and we support each other. Black women need to support each other, be uplifting, and have intelligent conversations, so HERE WE ARE!"
- Gia Peppers
To Uplift Us
We have all gone through that moment in life where we have reflected on our life experiences and realized we are nowhere close to the place we had envisioned we would be by now. While coming to this realization can be depressing, the black girl podcast crew reminded us in episode one that we are exactly where we need to be and that we need to stop comparing our lives with someone else's highlight reel.
To Show Us The REAL Journey to Success
The thing that I loved most about the Black Girl Podcast is that prior to listening, I, like many others, felt each woman on the podcast had “arrived" in their careers when based on their discussion, they are just touching the tip of iceberg. Which reminds us all that everyone has a journey and success is never handed to you, it is earned.
Wishing much success to these five young ladies!
Never miss an episode by subscribing to the Black Girl Podcast on iTunes, Soundcloud or follow the girls on Instagram: Black Girl Pod
Have you had the chance to listen to the black girl podcast? Leave your comments below.
Ashanti Reunites With A Woman Whose Life She May Have Helped Save 10 Years Ago
"I give up."
"I can’t do this anymore."
We have all had those moments when it seems as if our backs have literally been backed against the wall. We don’t know which way to turn and we surely don’t know who we can turn to. During these times, the easiest thing we can do is simply throw in the towel and wallow in a pit of our own despair.
Maybe you’re in that moment now. Maybe even as you read this, you are contemplating throwing in the towel but in the stillness of this moment, pause. You don’t have to give up now. Not yet.
Recently, R&B singer Ashanti made a week-long appearance on the hit television show “The Real” and gave her account about a moment that changed her life forever. While in the prime of her career she was contacted by the Make a Wish Foundation which grants the wishes of children with life-threatening illnesses. They had a young girl by the name of Christina who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and wanted to meet Ashanti as her last and final wish. Despite her chaotic schedule, Ashanti realized the importance of granting someone’s last and final wish and welcomed Christina with open arms:
“My mom and I flew out to Seattle. We rented this huge hotel suite for her and her mom and her best friend. I got her a limo and went to her house and surprised her. We ate dinner. I bought her this awesome, cute Tiffany’s bracelet and I had her name engraved in it. And I sat and hung out with her the whole day…It was a surreal moment to be able to touch someone I didn’t even know”
Two years ago, (which made it ten years since Ashanti had visited Christina), Ashanti received the amazing news from Christina herself that she had gone into remission. On the show, as Ashanti fought back tears retelling the story of their encounter, she burst into tears as Christina surprised her by walking onto the stage.
A walking miracle and a reminder that you can’t give up, at least not now.
As I fought back tears during Ashanti’s reunion with Christina, I couldn’t help but wonder, what if Christina had given up in the middle of her fight with cancer? What if she had listened to the diagnosis from the doctors that her life would soon be over? Most importantly, what if she had aborted her own destiny by taking her own life? Thankfully, we’ll never know the answer to those questions.
I remember as a child, one of my favorite movies was Finding Nemo. There was a scene in the movie when Dory gives some of the best advice I have ever heard in my life (yes, I get amazing advice from Disney Movies) that says: “When life gets you down, do you wanna know what you've gotta do? Just keep swimming.”
Christina kept swimming.
I’m not sure if she kept swimming because Ashanti granted her wish or if there was a stillness inside of her that also lies in each one of us that whispers, “No, not yet”. Whatever the case may be, she’s still here and you are too.
You may not be facing terminal cancer or any terminal illness for that matter but perhaps you are facing a moment in time that you feel as if you can’t keep going, you can. Doctors and scientific research told Christina that her life was over but when everything she knew to be true walked out, her faith stepped in.
Maybe you can’t relate to Christina’s journey, but we can all learn a lesson or two from Ashanti and that is to be kind to everyone, you never know if your one small gesture has the capacity to change someone’s life, forever.
[Tweet "Be kind to everyone. One small gesture has the capacity to change someone's life forever."]
Check out the video below, grab some tissue and know your help is on the way!