I had only been in the office for maybe an hour when one of the partners called me into his office. I thought he called me in to talk about the side project I was working on, but not even one minute after sitting in the chair in front of his desk, I found out why I was really there.
He told me I was being laid off–effective immediately. No warning, no time buffer, no nothing. My time with the firm was up after only 13 months of being with them.
I immediately burst into uncontrollable tears. The panic. The blind-sided punch to the gut. I couldn't keep it in. Tears streamed down my face as he proceeded to run through their offer of only one month's pay.
I was one of two to get laid off that day. I remember gathering my things, trying not to sob on my way out of the office as everyone stared at me on my way out. As soon as I got into my car, the flood gates opened and I started sobbing again.
What in the hell was I going to do? How was I going to pay my bills? How was I going to survive?
I had to find a job fast.
I had to find a job now.
I had to find a job five minutes ago.
I was beyond devastated.
The first thing I did was call my dog walker to tell her not to come that day because I had just gotten laid off. I was worried about the $15 it would cost me if I didn't catch her before she walked my dog for the day. Because every penny now counted.
I drove home, changed out of the unflattering work clothes I hated so much, and got to work on saving myself.
I've always been a survivor, a woman who has taken care of herself, honored herself, and waited for no one and no thing to come rescue me. This time would be no different.
First, I re-did my budget, cut out every possible expense I could, and figured I had three months savings to get me by. I filed for unemployment, too. Thank God I qualified for it, even though it was a measly $550.00 a month (only a tenth of my salary at the firm).
I even got a part-time job at a day care where I earned a few hundred dollars a month to help pay my bills and to keep my mind occupied.
And every day, I searched the job sites, on the hunt for the next right thing for me.
The morning of the lay off was the only time I cried over the whole situation. I was actually relieved to have gotten laid off. Because, to be honest, I hated working at that firm. And I realized getting laid off was actually an opportunity. It was a shove from the universe to move on to the next job that would be more fulfilling, more in alignment with who I am and what I wanted out of my career.
At the firm, I felt so much pressure to be someone I wasn't, to perform at a level I just wasn't interested in. I didn't feel like I could be myself there. I worked 50+ hours a week and did b*tch work. I wasn't fulfilled in any way at that job.
Classified page 5 newspaper selective focus photography
Photo by AbsolutVision on Unsplash
I spent the next six weeks sleeping in, playing with a bunch of two and three year olds at the day care, cooking (since I didn't want to eat out and spend extra money), relaxing, rejuvenating, and applying for jobs.
But because this was my opportunity to find a job that I actually wanted to be at, I listened to my heart when applying. If a job description felt like more b.s., I wouldn't apply to it. I practiced listening to my heart, instead of the "right" or "logical" thing to do when it came to my career. "Right" and "logical" do serve their place in my career... but so does my heart.
After a month of a hellish job hunt, I had applied to quite a few jobs and had only two phone interviews. The panic started to run ramped again. I felt like I wasn't make any progress. But each time it did, I reminded myself to step out on faith. This was my opportunity to have a job I liked. Things were going to work out for me. Because I said so.
Only six weeks of the unemployment game, a few measly unemployment and day care checks, relaxing lazy winter days, and countless bowls of cereal for dinner later, I started a new consulting job.
A former coworker and friend knew of a big project and she kindly put me in contact with the project's program manager. They liked my resume, and because our mutual colleague vouched for me, that was enough for him to schedule two super easy phone interviews. Of course I aced the interviews. And the gig was mine.
But this time I was the boss. I had an LLC and was officially a business owner. And I was making double my old income at six figures. I went from not much to everything in six weeks.
To work on this project, I would have to consult as a contractor, not an employee. Being a contractor would require me to have an LLC, business insurance, to pay my own taxes, and they would pay me a whole lot more money than I had ever made.
I had no idea how to set up an LLC, or get business insurance, or how to file my own taxes. But within a matter of days, a few phone calls to friends who had LLCs, and lots of googling, everything was set up. And I officially owned my own business.
What's so amazing is I had always wanted to own my own business. But I had no idea how I would even make that happen. I also had a goal to make six figures before the age of 30. And also had no idea how I would make that happen. But I did, by age 28.
I attribute my success to a magical combination of timing, circumstances, a whole lot of faith, knowing, and surrendering.
I've noticed that most of the world is out there thinking if they just work harder, if they just push themselves to do more, to be more, that they will reach their goals. I never understood that way of thinking.
While there's something to be said for putting in the right work, why put in so much work that you burn yourself out? Why sacrifice parts of your life? Why make yourself miserable doing something you don't want to do to get to somewhere you want to be? That kind of thinking just never appealed to me.
For me, it all came down to choosing something different for my life and my career when the opportunity came my way when I got unexpectedly laid off. I didn't resist the reality. I rolled with it and chose to see the possibilities.
Not only did my dreams become my reality because I got laid off, what was equally, and maybe even more profound for me, was how I handled the situation. I never thought I, the typical type A perfectionist control freak, could be so cool, calm, and grounded in dealing with such a hard thing as a layoff. I surprised myself, big time.
After being laid off and coming through shinning so brightly on the other side, I knew I could do anything.
Featured image by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
I found myself in a meeting room consulting a CEO and his entire executive team. To consult this caliber of a group was a career first for me and pretty synchronistic for it to occur during my fifth anniversary week.
What I was most blown away by wasn't the titles of these people in the room or the special access I needed to be on the 3rd floor of their headquarters, it was that I was in the same room with people who played at a certain level, at a certain big level. To be a Vice President or the CEO of a global billion-dollar company requires you to embody certain characteristics. And the fact that I was at a place to have a seat at their table meant I was playing at a level that was close enough to theirs. And that's what I was most proud of.
As proud and excited as I was, part of me felt intimidated, like, "Who was I to be in that room?" I don't have an MBA. Sometimes I have to make up what I tell clients because I have no idea what the "right" response is and yet, I was the one chosen to be in that room. Because I belonged there, just as I was. To make things even sweeter, my hourly rate was the highest it's ever been (wins on wins on wins).
As I celebrate these milestones and look back over the last five years of working for myself, there are a few things I've learned about Life, as its our greatest teacher.
Lesson 1: Life always, always has your best interest and highest good at heart.
It may not always feel this way, but Life truly does have your back - all the time.
As a contractor, I never know when my next project will come once the last one ends. Contract consulting is like having to find a new job every 2 - 18 months. And as someone who has a preference for certainty, this can be (and is) terrifying at times because I don't know how long I'll be without a paycheck.
We often fear the unknown, but working for myself has taught me to trust. And not just trust as a whole, but to trust in something bigger than me. Because, in my experience, each time a project has ended, a new and better opportunity has always showed up at just the right time. Not only has it shown up at just the right time, but it usually requires little job hunting on my end. And it's always at a higher hourly rate than the previous project.
Life always catches me and has my back, every single time, without fail.
Lesson 2: The amount of money one makes tends to be in direct proportion to their personal growth.
While I'm blessed that my work usually comes to me with little to no job hunting efforts, I still put in the work, daily. But, the work isn't the kind of work most people think of when it comes to advancing their career.
I rarely network (as an introvert, networking and small talk are my version of hell). I don't actively seek business leads. And I don't send out my resume very often.
The work I do put in is on myself. I work on myself like it's my hobby. From my physical health, to having fulfilling relationships, to improving my relationship with money, to living authentically, and stretching my previous capacities in all aspects of Life. Working on myself isn't a sometimes thing. It's intentional, it's daily, it's a way of being.
Growth and transformation aren't just about trying to become something else. It's also embracing and nourishing who and what we already are.
And as I've made me my favorite hobby, I lived into the version of myself that would land me in the same room with a CEO and his executive team at my highest hourly rate to date.
Lesson 3: Life uses our current circumstances as vehicles for growth.
Often times, we think it's about the job or the relationship or whatever the circumstance may be. But our circumstances are disguised opportunities for our growth.
Everything in Life is a mirror reflecting something back to us. We may or may not like what we see, but it is showing us something. It's what we do with what we see that houses the potential.
Five years ago, I was unexpectedly laid off from my job with a consulting firm. I was devastated and terrified when it happened. But it turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me. Because I chose to see it as an opportunity, I knew that getting laid off was Life's way of helping me move on to better things. And it turned out to be the catalyst that allowed me to work for myself, which had been a dream of mine. Not only did I come out of that working for myself, but I also doubled my income, earning over six figures.
Life has a way of teaching us through our current circumstances. And if we are willing to listen, each circumstance, each moment, each day brings us an opportunity.
Lesson 4: You are worthy and deserving of any seat at any table.
It's not about perfection, it's about growth. Sometimes I feel inadequate. Sometimes I feel that I should be further along in Life. A part of me felt like a fraud being in that meeting room with those executives.
But through the opportunities I've had working for myself, I've learned that wherever I am is because I'm supposed to be there. I can feel insecure and still belong in the same room as a CEO and his executive team. Me, as I am, is worthy of any seat at any table.
In the times when I feel I should be further along or that I shouldn't still be struggling with something, I remind myself of where and what I come from. And from that perspective, I realize I've surpassed every limit my upbringing set me up for. Also from that perspective, I'm able to realize I don't have to be perfect to evolve and grow. I just have to keep evolving and growing.
And Life has its ways of making sure we do just that.
How has your job or business helped you grow? What lessons has it taught you?
As a Business Consultant, Brittney writes to inspire the possibilities in others. She believes what we dream is not only possible, but probable, and the importance of not letting what you come from define you. We often have a sense of what our lives could be, but, sometimes, it takes knowing that it happened for someone else before we actually believe "...wow, that could be me too". Her saviors are yoga, sunshine, audio books, 90s R&B, and flights to distant lands. Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram: @brittney.pappano
