If you're like me, you have repeatedly pinned a popular Sigmund Freud quote, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes."

After two years of working for a public health non-profit, I've come to terms that I may be just employed smack in the middle of a toxic hub. I'm willing to bet most of my colleagues feel the same way I do: unmotivated and going through the motions.

If you Google "toxic workplace," about 33,000,000 results (I swear this one by Entrepreneur was written about my job) confirm that you're not crazy even if your place of employment actually feels like a psychiatric ward.

Toxic hubs can exist anywhere there is dysfunction, disorder, and people who feel depressed and powerless. What allows the toxicity to fester is when people enter a place where negative traits like narcissism, selfishness, and lack of empathy run rampant and begin to feel like the norm because that place itself becomes defined by its toxicity.

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I've been working professionally long enough to realize that every work environment won't be a place you look forward to going to each day. However, as an adult with a mortgage, student loan repayments, and a spouse and child who like having health insurance with low copays, you recognize those bills don't care if you go skipping to work every day or hide in a bathroom stall, as long as they get paid.

The truth is, toxic energy within the workplace has had me hitting my turn signal on the daily.

There are people that I physically avoid in order to keep my energy level at it's best. I can wait a few extra minutes for coffee if it means I'll avoid bumping into Monica from reception, who viciously judges everyone's summer wardrobe. Jason from Finance? You go ahead and take this elevator alone so I can avoid you nervously doing the two step around your words because you're afraid you're going to offend me by default because I'm Black.

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Admittedly, the toxic energy is a little easier to deal with now that I have a decade under my professional belt. There's something great that happens in your thirties: you become increasingly comfortable with the knowledge that certain people, places, and things are not for you.

In my commitment to being more self-aware and take accountability, when I find myself repeatedly frustrated with people's behavior, I take a step back to realize how I'm contributing to the problem.

My belief has always been that it can't be everyone collectively who has the problem, so it has to be me. But what I've also come to realize is that there very well may be toxic hubs in your in life, whether it's a workplace, a certain group of friends, or even your favorite hair salon, that bring out the worst in people.

For whatever reason, birds of a depressed or even angry feather, flock together, and all of the sage and rose quartz crystals in the world are sometimes not enough to diffuse the negative energy.

So what can you do if you find yourself in a toxic hub? Some toxic hubs are unavoidable, but here are some tips for being surrounded by an abyss of bad energy without allowing the abyss to stare back into you:

Run Away Fast As You Can


In the words of the incumbent Tyrant of Toxicity himself, Kanye West, if you find yourself in a environment that seems to pulsate on drama, anger, and unhappiness, don't place pressure on yourself to be a martyr or Martin Luther King Jr. trying to be a beacon of light for lost souls. If you're able to, have all the dreams you want from afar. Remember, cycles of toxicity in a certain place have more than likely been around for a long time and are more likely to change you before you change them.

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If You Can't Quit, Quarantine


Maybe you're like me, and like having health insurance and have other responsibilities that wouldn't respond well to you just throwing up the peace sign to the Bermuda triangle of bad feelings. Whether your weapons of defense are crystals, sage, or Beats buds blasting Ella Mai into your eardrums, try find a way to focus on your own agenda while keeping the rest of the BS at bay.

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Balance out the BS.


Toxicity is contagious, hence how toxic hubs grow and thrive, so it's important to pay close attention to how much of people's negative energy you're absorbing and finding a healthy way to purge that energy after being surrounded by anger, anxiety, and stress for long periods of time. Whether it's squats at the gym twice a week to Ciara's "Level Up", karaoke and Cosmo's with your girlfriends every other Thursday, or some quality time with Christ every Sunday, it helps to have reminders that a toxic hub is only one place and there's a whole world out there full people and places that aren't completely soul-sucking downers.

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Find your people and places.


Sometimes when it comes to work spaces, friendships, and romantic relationships, we get so busy focused on fitting in that we forget that if it's that difficult to like a place or a group of people, it may be because they're not YOUR people. If you're a comic book junkie, find folks that have cleared their calendar for the latest X-Men premiere. Those co-workers wondering why Molly keeps messing with Dro on Insecure? Those are YOUR people. Most of all YOUR people are those you don't have to force yourself to enjoy and YOUR people are those you don't have to fake smiles or laughs with.

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