Business With Bae: 8 Couples Share The Keys To Building An Empire Together

Jul 20, 2019 14:16 PM +0000

Let's take it to an infamous line in Jay-z and Beyonce classic '03 Bonnie & Clyde:

"Cause mami's a rider and I'm a roller

Put us together – how they gon' stop both us?

Whatever she lacks, I'm right over her shoulder

When I'm off track, mami is keepin' me focused"

What does it take to put the power in the term "power couple"? How do you build an empire with the one you love?

We chatted with eight couples to learn the secrets to successfully running a business with a partner. While there may be technical logistics that should be considered before entering a relationship with your significant other, not every arrangement is a recipe for disaster. These couples share how they manage their business while working together, strategies for overcoming common challenges, and the best (and often underappreciated) aspects of working with the one you love.

Note: responses have been condensed for brevity and clarity.

Kahran & Regis Bethencourt, Owners of Creative Soul Photography, Married 7 years (together for 15 years)
"The biggest part of having a successful business partnership has been having our own individual strengths and responsibilities. It allows each person to have their own separate 'lane' and individual sense of responsibility and ownership. We also try to do regular check-ins every few months to figure out which things we're doing that do not make us happy. If one person is unhappy, it makes running our business that much more difficult, so we try to constantly revise and re-evaluate to make sure we address any issues in our business and relationship.
"The biggest challenge, however, is work/life balance, as it seems there's never enough of that to go around. When working together, work automatically becomes a major part of our home life so we try to do little things to make sure we are still connecting as a couple. Luckily, both of us are pretty simple when it comes to that, so just having a quick date night after a shoot or taking a few hours to Netflix and chill gives us the time we need to take a break from work life.
"Our relationship started as a year and a half cross-country long distance relationship. We genuinely enjoy each other's company and have always wanted to work together. The idea of one of us going back to the desk keeps us working harder to make our business work when things get tough."
Recommended Reading:A Creative Professional's Guide to Money by Ilise Benum; Make Your Mark: The Creative's Guide to Building a Business by Jocelyn K. Glei
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Demond Campbell & Rochelle Graham-Campbell, Owners of Alikay Naturals, Married 11.5 years
"There will be times when the conversations may get tense and you will have conflicting views when making important decisions for your business. In those moments, remain respectful to each other. This is important for my husband and I because we believe in being honest as long as it is said in a respectful way. It feels good to know that there is someone in your corner on the playing field with you that isn't a 'yes' person. Respect can get super tricky when one spouse has a higher ranking in command in the business. For example, I am the CEO, first in command, and [Demond] is the COO, second in command. We always make sure that we do not belittle each other in any environment.
"The challenges come in understanding that we have a different work ethic and a different approach to the way that we work. In the beginning, I was resentful towards my husband because I felt that he wasn't dedicating as many hours to the business as I was. He can shut things off but here I was doing market research online or developing products at 9 pm. I had to realize that the natural hair and beauty industry is my passion. My husband committed his life and gave up his career in the aviation maintenance industry to support me in growing my dream, vision and brand. Just because my husband stops at the end of the day, I should not expect him to be obsessed. Once I realized that, it was easier for us to work together. Although he did not go to school to major in business, he has such great insight and so many creative ideas that I am pushing him to express those things more and not lock himself into a set role.
"Sometimes entrepreneurship is a lonely journey. Knowing that my best friend is on this journey with me and that we are a team is important. I know he is going to protect the business. It is also really amazing to see how much we have grown together. We got married when I was 20 and he was 23. We have been running a business for ten years. To see these young, Black Jamaican kids who did not have much turn around and become these two powerhouse business owners together is just amazing for me to see. Us doing this side by side is priceless. We are partners in marriage, business, and in being parents to our two beautiful children."
Recommended Reading: The 50th Law by Robert Greene and 50 Cent, SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham
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Kevin & Melissa Fredericks (@Kevonstage & @MrsKevOnStage), Comedy & relationship seminar facilitators, Married 15 years
"Working together can bring so much strain on a relationship, so it makes communication between you and your spouse so much more important. We have found that being able to discuss the good, bad, and ugly together helps not just the business, but also how we feel. It's easy to build resentment when you're not talking about matters of the heart. Ensure that your business AND your relationship are in a healthy space.
"We have struggled identifying our roles in a space where we're both working for self. We have to try to establish boundaries, so we can enlist the help of each other without stepping on toes and/or fully taking over a project. This goes back to constant communication and managing expectations so we're always on the same page.
"The best part of working together is knowing we're building a legacy that will impact our sons forever. They watch us as an example of what a healthy relationship looks like AND we're modeling entrepreneurship."
Recommended Reading: Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
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Kenyon & Taccara Martin, Owners of The Soul-Ties® Healthy Love Club™, Married
Taccarra: "Don't lead with your relationship. The home dynamic doesn't work the same way in the business. Kenyon and I are VERY traditional with how we govern our home, but our roles in the home are built upon what makes a marriage and family successful, not a business. Those same dynamics do not exist in a business environment. Tough conversations, disagreements, failures, and even successes must be received first impersonally and viewed strategically. After work, we can later celebrate or mourn privately and affectionately.
"The biggest challenges for me and Kenyon arise when we are vision-casting for our business. We now explain it as looking at a map (big picture vision) vs. seeing the turn-by-turn directions on a GPS (how it will be done). I am the Map. Kenyon is GPS turn-by-turn directions. Whenever I go to him with an Idea, it's usually GRAND and exciting. To Kenyon, it's SCARY because while I'm painting a big picture, he's stuck trying to figure out the HOW of it all. And before you know it, we are arguing over the 'how.' In these times, while the argument is about a technical or creative difference, the undertone of that argument becomes about wanting to be acknowledged.

"When Kenyon came up with the analogy of 'Map and GPS,' it changed EVERYTHING for us. Whenever I go to him with an idea, I preface it with, 'OK, this is a MAP conversation…' so he can brace himself to just HEAR me and not react to the anxiety of the 'how' in that moment. If we start getting off track into details, I say, 'map' and he changes his disposition."
Kenyon: "The day after Taccara and I got married, we had a speaking engagement and we've literally worked together every day since. While many say we will get tired of that one day, we honestly don't see that happening. Entrepreneurship is lonely. It's draining. It's tiring. There are very few people who will understand your struggles and celebrate your victories with you. Taccara and I share it all and do it all — together."
Recommended Reading: The Soul-Ties® Detox Book + Journal
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Dana & Keith Cutler, Judges on Couples Court with the Cutlers, Married 29 years
"Over our 30-year careers — we have always supported the other's opportunities to be great. (Judge Keith stood in the gap while Judge Dana went through the process and leadership track to be President of The Missouri Bar. Judge Dana held down the home while Judge Keith served in leadership in the Young Lawyers Section of The Missouri Bar and as President of the Young Lawyers Section of the Kansas City Metropolitan Bar Association (KCMBA).) We each recognized that it was important to support each other's leadership opportunities. We recognized that what helped one helped us both.
"If you work together, live together, eat together and sleep together, you need to give yourself and your partner space at times. Have separate hobbies, interests, and (platonic) friends that you can enjoy without the other. Otherwise, you will get on each other's nerves and you will run out of things to share with one another besides work. Private time is not meant to exclude the other, but to make your partner more well-rounded and personally satisfied.
"Financial stress is huge for any couple, but is magnified when you work together. Being self-employed for our entire career and having clients that have not always paid us timely (or at all) made budgeting a challenge. The hard part is not taking that stress out on the other partner, and not blaming them for the lean times. We agreed that we would not blame the other for whatever we were managing or not managing financially at home due to the lean times in our business. If you can survive the financial difficulty that comes with self-employment, your marriage/relationship will be stronger than steel and more resilient that you could ever imagine.
"For us, an unexpected pleasure [of working together] is the sense of legacy involved in the process, especially now that one of our sons is interested in being a lawyer. The thought that he might be able build on the foundation that has been laid by his grandfather and parents and carry it to a third generation is really invigorating."
Recommended Reading:Becoming by Michelle Obama, Dynamic Duos by Richman Julie, You & Your Partner, Inc. by Miriam Hawley
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View More: https://arielperryphotography.pass.us/jackie-family-pictures-1
Shaun and Jackie Rodgers (@greentopgifts), Owners of Greentop Gifts, Married 9 years
"A challenge we've encountered working together is letting the 'business' become our marriage. It's so easy to let that happen [and] find that all your conversations become about the business. Then, if something goes wrong with the business it's so easy to let it creep into your non-work relationship and start to have a negative impact on your relationship. This is something that we work on improving every day, as it's important to have a separation of the two as much as possible. We have specific times that we talk about business. And we make a concerted effort to 'date' where it's just us and we can let go of the business for a few hours.
"We're a team through and through – with both business and life. We're partners when it comes to our family. Now, we're partners in managing a business we see bringing joy to other families that look like us."
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Jeff Belizaire & Kalisa Marie, Co-founders of The Runaway Experience, Engaged (together 5.5 years, in business 4.5 years)
"In any start-up, you're wearing multiple hats and it feels, at times, like everyone is doing everything. When your co-founder is your significant other, it's important to have clearly defined roles. Not only to make sure you have all your bases covered, but more importantly, to avoid micromanaging each other or stepping on each other's toes. Ideally, you'll have your area of expertise and they will have theirs. You'll touch base to provide updates and collaborate, but there's mutual trust that the other has things under control as you divide and conquer.
"Jeff and I are very different. We have different working styles, sets of skills, and ways of communicating. Going in, we knew this was a blessing because we were bringing value to very different aspects of the business. Navigating those differences has been one of the biggest challenges. We have to consistently step outside ourselves to see and understand the other person's perspective. While we're both very strong-willed, we've learned, and are still learning, how to speak each other's language. Ultimately, we know that we would not be where we are if it weren't for the other person, and for the differences that have pushed us as individuals and the business to grow.
"It's easy for a new business to be all-consuming, but it's critical that you don't lose sight of your relationship. Schedule dates as deliberately as you schedule conference calls. Don't let "lack of time" be the reason you lose site of each other. Rather, come up with creative ways to spend non-working time together. What would normally be a mundane activity — like working out or grocery shopping — could stand in as fun quality time, if that's all you've got for the time being."
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Jhanilka & Anthony Hartzog, Owners of Maids2Match, Married 2.5 years
"We usually address things when they come out (and rarely outside of that.) You have to trust that the other person has the best interest of the business and is dedicated just as much as you are. Having the same goals or WHY is [also important].
"One challenge we have is learning to cooperate and compromise. We decided to delegate to our strengths. (Anthony is great with tech and Jhanilka likes interacting with people.) The best part of working as a couple is knowing we are building something together that will help our family down the line. Some may say that cleaning a home isn't a big deal and at one point we thought that as well, but with the amount of times that people have told us this means more than we understand, it makes us feel fantastic."
Recommended Reading/Resources:Profit First by Mike Michalowicz, Side Hustle Pro podcast, Side Hustle School podcast
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Featured image courtesy of Kevin & Melissa Fredericks

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