6 Reasons To Fall In Love With Your Flaws

Flaws Are What Make You Unique

Recently, I checked out "Here Are the Most Beautiful Women in Each Country". As I scrolled down, some of the women caught my eye (like Kate Menson from Ghana, Samantha Harris from Australian Aboriginal, Nona Gosa from South Africa and actor Teyonah Parris who represented US/Africa). On some level, all of the ladies had something attractive about them, but to me, many of them were not memorable.

Whether it's a semi-jacked up tooth like mine, a birthmark that might be on your face, any eye that is slightly lighter or darker than the other — whatever your "flaw" may be, choose to see it as a mark of distinction. It's something that sets you apart and makes you stand out.

And really — would you rather be cookie-cutter-pretty or someone who is truly memorable? Personally, I prefer Door B.

Embracing Your Flaws Will Boost Your Self-Confidence

Something that's dope about model Winnie Harlow's influence is ever since she's made her way onto the scene, I've noticed more and more people with vitiligo being out and about. I'm sure they've always been around, but I think I'm taking note of it because they aren't wearing any make-up. And you know what? Good. For. Them.

If anything, it causes me to check myself because if they can embrace and celebrate the many tones of their skin, I certainly don't need to be freaking out about a breakout or blemish. #petty

People with skin conditions also remind me that when I'm good with my "flaws", there is real strength in that. And when you're able to feel good about every single thing about yourself, even the imperfect parts, that exudes a kind of self-confidence that's truly unmatched.

Flaws Can Actually Mean Perfection

One of my favorite quotes is by psychiatrist and author Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Something she once said is, "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and deep, loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

Beautiful people do not just happen. I get chills every time I read that. By definition, a flaw is something that mars perfection and one definition of perfection is a perfect embodiment of something. But you know what? Someone who has a lifelong scar from a domestic situation they were once in or someone who's got a burn from a house fire or car accident that happened to them — to be able to survive those kinds of things, to me, is the perfect embodiment of strength and beauty.

If you've got a flaw that reminds you of just how far you've come, that is not a flaw. It's a symbol of just how dope you really and truly are.

Flaws Teach You to Take a “Glass Half Full” Approach to Life

Something that my paternal grandmother and great-grandmother passed down to me is big breasts. What's odd, though, is all three of us didn't bloom past a C-cup until we were in our 30s. Now that I'm over here sittin' at an F-cup, my right breast is slightly smaller than the other.

For the longest time, that annoyed the crap out of me. But I know women who've either died from breast cancer or had their breast(s) removed due to it. Meanwhile, I'm over here whining about the fact that one of mine is like a ½ inch or so "off". Ridiculous.

Another thing that my flaws have taught me is to learn to see things from a glass half full, silver lining perspective. And that kind of mindset is beneficial in all walks of life.

The Right Man Won’t Care About Your Flaws. (He Probably Won’t Notice Either!)

Time flies, boy. I say that because it's hard to believe that 10 years ago this year, I did a blog called So, How Did You Know? It featured stories from husbands and wives about how they met their spouse and how they knew they were the right one for them.

One of the things that I asked everyone is what they liked about their spouse's mind, body and spirit. I can't remember exactly which husband said it, but what he said about his beloved has always stayed with me — "I love that when God made her, He had me in mind." Niiiiice.

Something that I tell single women is, the very thing you're trying to change about yourself is oftentimes the very thing your future husband will adore (maybe even prefer) about you. I know husbands who had a fit when their wives lost weight. I know husbands who think that stretch marks are sexy. I also know husbands who find overbites to be nothing short of a blessing (some of y'all will catch that later).

None of us should want to switch up for a man, but trust me, if that's what your main motivation is, let it be something else. The right man — your man — will love everything about you. So-called flaws 'n all.

Flaws Are Relative

There's a woman I know who once said to me, "I'm done apologizing for being beautiful." (And yes, she said it as arrogantly as it sounds.) I won't lie, she's pretty. But one time, while I was out with a male friend, we ran into her and as she walked away, he said, "Something about her face is very weird. It's her eyes or eyebrows. I can't place it."

Believe you me, if she had heard him, she would've had a billion-and-one fits! But the reason why I'm bringing this up is because for every 10 people who might find someone attractive (including the person's own opinion of themselves…LOL), there is someone that's like, "Yeah, I'll pass."

Translation — just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so are flaws. If you let how someone sees you alter how you see yourself, you'll never think you're beautiful (or make peace with your beauty) because everyone's opinion is different.

Bottom line, the person who sees you the most is you.

The moment you fall in love with all of who you are, including your flaws, that is the moment when you become unstoppable.

That is the moment when you are truly beautiful in every way. From the top of your head down to your so-called flaws.