Her Voice

Being A Christian Doesn't Make You Entitled

In my early and mid-twenties, I thought that if I did enough good deeds and abstained from activities that took my mind off of my faith and purpose, that I would be rewarded with everything that I desired. That is what the bible says, right?

Well, as I'm learning, not exactly.

Reading partial scripture and focusing on verses that aligned with what I wanted is what I did for years. It wasn't until I became intentional about self-searching that I found out I had an entitled mindset.

Believing in God doesn't mean that all of the pain in your life will magically dissolve, or that you will never encounter hardship. Having a spiritual relationship means that you'll have enough faith to sustain you in the storm. Here are a few common misconceptions about being a Christian that I'd like to clear up for the whole class:

Being A Christian Doesn't Exempt You From Struggling

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The stronger my faith got, the more obstacles that were thrown my way.

When I was newly planted in my faith, I thought that things were supposed to be easier. I thought that I could maneuver through life without a target on my back. I'd go to church out of routine, bow my head and say a prayer before each meal, and threw out a scripture every now and then as a response to someone's question. That's what I found myself doing in my late teens and early 20s. To my surprise, I began struggling more as I studied the bible consistently on my own and not only open it for weekend church services and midweek bible study.

There were times when I was without a job. There were times that I struggled with having faith that God would show up when I wanted. The truth was, I wanted the victory without having to endure the struggle. I'd find myself asking, was God really listening? Were my problems not important enough to warrant a miracle, or even just a sign of what to do next?

It's easy to forget about the waiting process. Somehow, I thought church attendance and nightly prayers would shield me from it all. I was wrong. Often times, my faith was challenged. In certain moments, my flesh was challenged even more.

Being A Christian Doesn't Mean You're Entitled to the Relationship

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Sorry to break it to you, but being a Christian doesn't mean you'll always get the relationship. Oh, how I thought this as well. You can read every self-help book, abstain from sexual activity, take all the relationship advice you want, and serve on every single's ministry at your church, but it doesn't mean you'll get the relationship.

Have you ever found yourself wondering, "How did she snag a husband? And a good one at that? Here I am going to church two times a week, volunteering, turning down random men that mean me no good, yet I'm still single. I don't get it."

If we're being honest with ourselves, most of us who are over 25 and still single with no prospects in sight have said something of the sort. We're quick to want a Boas (Book of Ruth in The Bible). In other words, we're quick to want the product of a good man. Yet, we have no clue of the lifestyle of Boas prior to him being the man that Ruth desired. We only see the product of what his struggles and then victory resulted in.

We all have a past that isn't perfect. Remember the manufacturing of a product is a process, and it doesn't mean that after it is complete that it is without flaws.

No man and no woman is without flaw.

You may not struggle with sexual temptation, but you may struggle with gossiping. You may not struggle with gossiping, but you may struggle with pride. Many Christians are confused in believing that your walk with God guarantees you a relationship, job, or opportunity over anyone else.

Being A Christian Doesn't Mean You've Arrived


We are all imperfect. Please read that sentence again.

I have a feeling you didn't reread it so I'll type it again, we are all imperfect. Hopefully, we are growing in wisdom everyday. We are developing our character with each choice and encounter we make.

It's easy to judge others by our strengths or when we meet them during one of their worst seasons in life. It's easy to gossip instead of praying for them or getting to know them to potentially be a support system with no malicious intent.

"Church hurt" is a real thing.

I've seen it firsthand and I can understand why some people never return and despise it. We aren't always the best public relations agents for Christ. We can misrepresent the message and the mission. But I can't stress how important grace is. To my previous point, we are all imperfect, and we all have room to grow.

As we grow, we have to be careful not to shade others and dim the fraction of light they begin to experience as they sprout from their dark places. No matter how great we think we are, we've been the villain in someone's narrative.

Had others known us at our darkest season, they'd have a different story to tell and they'd be judging us too.

Being A Christian Entitles You To True Fellowship

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Being a Christian and actively exercising my faith allowed me to learn my true calling and purpose.

It is a journey, not a destination, as cliché as it may sound. I've been granted peace in situations that should have shook me to my core. It has challenged me to step out of my comfort zone. It has shown me the true meaning of grace as it was and is still given to me daily.

Whether you're a Christian or not, we aren't entitled to any good thing that comes our way. Yes, obedience and sacrifice allow us to enjoy the fruits of our labor much more, but we aren't entitled to any of it. We are simply blessed to experience it. It's true, life owes us nothing.

So who can you show a little more grace to? Can you show a little grace to your chatty coworker or neighbor that never stops talking? Did you ever consider that they have no one to talk to at home? Can you not judge your friend that has a new man every four months? Maybe she's avid about finding love because secretly she fears being alone and growing old by herself. Can you show a little grace to yourself?

Stop beating yourself up about your past mistakes. If you needed a sign, this is it.

Let this be the last second you rob yourself of happiness due to keeping yourself in bondage to your past. Life has so much to offer you and you have so much to offer others. No matter your background or beliefs, we're all struggling to live out our purpose. But each day, grace is what I've found that makes it a little easier. While none of us are entitled to grace or anything else, whatever we're blessed and graced with definitely makes life more bearable.

Featured image by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash