Your September Horoscopes Are All About Operating At Your Highest Self
The Sun travels through meticulous Virgo for most of September before moving into charming Libra on the 23rd. On the 14th, the Full Moon in Pisces has us deep in our feels while Mercury and Venus cozy up in the sky, helping us to harmonize areas of our lives that have been in distress. Saturn, Lord of Karma, goes direct on the 18th, lending positive results to those that have been putting in the work.
Things get a little hazy around the 21st, so be mindful of unrealistic expectations. Remember that faith without work is dead. Tensions are rising around the 28th between what is expected of you and what your soul is calling you to do. The New Moon at the end of the month helps you find the balance between the two.
Check out your monthly horoscope below to see what September has in store for you!
Aries
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Most of your month is spent prioritizing your work-life balance, with the Sun transiting through hard-working Virgo. On the 14th, the Full Moon in Pisces has your spidey-senses tingling. Intuition is heightened and your dreams provide vivid insight into past life karma that has reached its expiration date. Surrender is the name of the game and this Full Moon is meant to test how far you've come in your self-mastery, challenging you to relinquish control. Mercury moves into Libra on the same day and you're focused on bringing more balance into your close relationships. Venus, planet of love and money, also moves into this part of your chart which helps you attract good fortune through the relationships you build. Business deals are solidified and harmony is restored within your significant relationships.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct, helping you achieve some forward momentum in your career field. If you've been putting in the work, the recognition will slowly start rolling in. Leading up to the 21st, be mindful of unrealistic expectations of others—especially those you look up to for spiritual guidance. You don't need a middle man to validate your connection to God and the cosmos. Around the 28th, tensions are rising due to the demands of your home life, relationships, and career but peace can be found by being honest about your personal limits. The New Moon on the 28th invites you to increase the quality of your relationships by taking on a win-win approach for both parties. This time could also indicate the start of a new job, business partnership, or significant relationship with someone that has long-term potential.
Taurus
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The month begins with most of your attention going towards creative projects, children (or your inner child), and romance. The Full Moon on the 14th illuminates your social circle, making it glaringly clear who's on #TeamTaurus and who's not. Mercury and Venus move into Libra on the same day, helping you find a better flow in your work-life balance over the next month. This is a good time to schedule your annual health screening and finally try out that detox you've been holding off on. Health is wealth and it's well worth sacrificing that extra glass of wine you have for dinner every day.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct, pushing forward any international travel plans. Over the next several months, you've got the opportunity to flex what you've been learning behind the scenes. It's time to publish that book, teach that class, or share your wisdom as a mentor for someone following in your footsteps. Be mindful of wishful thinking around the 21st. Your deep desire to be a part of a community may have you settling for connections that aren't an accurate reflection of your values and expectations of your social circle. Around the 28th, you may experience some inner, or outer, conflict pertaining to different belief systems. Be respectful of others' sovereignty and avoid getting into any drama with people more intent on proving a point than gaining understanding. The month wraps up with a New Moon inviting you to plant the seeds for long-lasting results for your overall health and well-being.
Gemini
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Most of the attention is on home and family this month, as the Sun transits through analytical Virgo. Cut your folks some slack and ease up on being too demanding of your loved ones. On the 14th, the Full Moon gives you some insight into something that's been holding up your career progression. This revelation could result in you ditching one career path and transitioning into a new opportunity more suited for your long-term goals. Mercury and Venus move into this same part of your sky highlighting creativity, children, and romance. Your charm is at its peak so if you're open to love; the next month favors your efforts. Inspiration will also be at a high, so make it work to your advantage to get back into some of those projects you've put on the back-burner.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct and you are finally ready to come out of your cocoon after doing some much-needed, and often uncomfortable, soul-searching related to intimacy and sexual expression. Try not to have your head caught up in the clouds around the 21st. Your expectations in career and relationship aren't necessarily unrealistic but it's best that you be as logical as possible, especially when it comes to timing! Around the 28th, tension is rising and you're feeling pulled in opposing directions—specifically as it pertains to the resources you've accumulated and what you may feel obligated to share with others. An outstanding debt may also need your attention at this time. Do your best to be proactive instead of avoiding your responsibility. The month ends with a New Moon inviting you to lay the groundwork for that creative project or meet someone new if you're open to dating.
Cancer
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Communication and learning is your top priority for most of the month as the Sun travels through meticulous Virgo. On the 14th, the Full Moon in your sister sign grants you the spotlight to share your knowledge or to complete a course you've been taking. If you've been having any issues with immigration or foreign affairs, your resolution is here. Mercury and Venus move into Libra on the same day, putting your focus on home and family. If you're partnered up, you may talk about moving in together or starting a family depending on the stage of your relationship. Love matters take on a more secluded energy during this time of year and your best moments will be spent in the comfort of your sanctuary with your lover.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct and your relationship is getting even more serious. If you're single, a solid commitment is definitely on the brain and if love isn't a priority right now, there's a solid business partnership in the works. Around the 21st, try to stay realistic when it comes to any new routines you're trying to implement into your life as well as new knowledge you're absorbing. These things take time, and practice, for these new habits and concepts to truly establish themselves. Give yourself credit for even the smallest bit of progress to avoid the disappointment of not meeting extremely high expectations that you're setting for yourself. Watch out for tension between you and a significant other (lover, business partner, or close friend) around the 28th. Try to find a compromise between your needs and those of the other. The month closes with a New Moon, inviting you to move residence or plant the seed if you're ready to add a new addition to your family.
Leo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
You're in your bag this month as the Sun transits through hard-working Virgo throughout most of the month. On the 14th, Mercury and Venus are making you the center of attention when it comes to communication. Check those junk mail folders and stay on top of your DMs. You could have some dope opportunities come your way, given the extra charm that you're exuding over the next month. The Full Moon on the same day can get pretty emo for you but hey, you've gotta feel it to heal it. Might as well be the bold babe that you are and dive right into the shadows of your pain. You may even be able to pull some inspiration from the depths to work to your benefit.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct and you're getting extremely disciplined with your fitness, health, and daily routines. You may not be training for the olympics but you've definitely got your eyes on the gold medal. Be mindful of over-inflated expectations around the 21st when it comes to romance. It's best to take things slow and just have some fun at this time. Keep in mind that intimacy takes time to build and spilling your guts about all of your childhood trauma and fears on the first date isn't the best approach to this. September winds down with a New Moon encouraging you to start that new writing project, share your thoughts, or launch that vlog as a means of self-expression.
Virgo
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Happy birthday, Goddess! The spotlight is on you for most of the month and it's time to reintroduce yourself as the wiser, sexier, and more successful woman that you've become over the past year. Mercury and Venus are blessing your finances right out the gate. Whether you're blowing out birthday candles or not, don't forget to make a wish. The cosmos are working overtime for you this month. You've got the potential to land some major business deals, sponsorships, or extra support for your amazing talents. Shoot your shot and apply for those loans, grants, and scholarships if you need some extra financial assistance. On the 14th, the Full Moon in your opposite sign can illuminate some imbalances within an existing partnership or business collaboration. Try to find a middle ground and if necessary, part ways in peace to create space for a connection that is more in alignment with you. On the 18th, Saturn goes direct in your sister sign and you're getting serious about those creative ideas that have been brewing underneath the surface since April. It's time to put those plans into action!
Try your best to stay grounded around the 21st when it comes to your expectations of others and your family. You may not be feeling as supported as you'd like but it's nothing personal. Keep in mind that people have lives just like you do. Ask for help when you need it and be open to receiving it in the way that people can offer it to you. It's up to you to do the rest. Tensions are rising around the 28th between your creative ideas and the input of a group that you collaborate with. Teamwork makes the dream work. Make sure everyone's ideas are taken into consideration—even if it's just bits and pieces that will ultimately lend to the bigger picture. The month winds down with a New Moon, bringing in a renewed sense of belief in yourself that is possibly accompanied by an amazing opportunity that increases your finances.
Libra
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The first part of the month will be a bit more quiet for you as your prepare for your birthday season. Take some time to reflect over the growth that you've experienced in the past year and the plans for your future. On the 14th, the Full Moon illuminates some habits that you may need to clean up, particularly related to your health and wellness. Mercury and Venus move into your sign on the same day, amping up the charm factor and enchanting your life with magical opportunities. Don't be afraid to shine and express the truth of who you are. Your authenticity will make you a magnet for good fortune and maybe even some love and romance.
Saturn goes direct on the 18th and you're planting your roots in a new home, or restructuring your current abode. Family planning may be on the brain for some of you in the months to come. As magical as the energy is this month, do your best to stay grounded around the 21st particularly when it comes to any new habits you're implementing or projects you're starting. In most cases, slow and steady wins the race. The Sun enters your sign on the 23rd, bringing in your birthday season. Tension may be rising around the 28th between your home life and career aspirations. Try to find a balance between the two. The month ends with a New Moon in your sign and maybe a new wardrobe or hairstyle, too. It's time to reintroduce the world to the new and improved you!
Scorpio
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Most of your focus this month is on your friends, social networking, and your long-term vision for your life while the Sun transits through Virgo. On the 14th, the Full Moon in your sister sign illuminates your creativity and inner child. It's time to express yourself more freely and maybe reveal that new masterpiece you've been working on behind the scenes. Mercury and Venus move into Libra on the same day, making you even more receptive to all of the tea. Be mindful of getting too caught up in the drama. This energy is best utilized for laying low and reconnecting with your spiritual practice. Make an effort to record your dreams as they'll bring you tons of guidance and insight into what needs to be healed throughout the month ahead.
Saturn goes direct on on the 18th, helping you to take a more thoughtful approach to your communication style moving ahead. This is a good time to revamp your social media strategy or sign up for that course to refine your public speaking or writing skills. Be mindful of having your head in the clouds around the 21st when it comes to your spending habits and romance. You may be tempted to splurge on a date around this time. Get creative to spare yourself the big bill. Watch out for tension between you and a mentor figure around the 23rd. It's not what you say. It's how you say it. September winds down with the Sun and New Moon in Libra, encouraging you to close out those karmic contracts just in time for your birthday season next month.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
While the Sun transits through Virgo in the first part of the month, your attention is on leveling up in career and social status. On the 14th, Mercury and Venus move into Libra, helping you work out any kinks within your friendships while also making you super popular amongst your community. This is primetime for networking. As they say, "It's all about who you know." However, this time around, people will be more drawn towards you without you having to make as much effort. Any issues within your home and family may come to a head with the Full Moon amping up the energy. People will be more sensitive than usual on the 14th, so lay low, if possible. This energy may also have you ready to relocate if you've outgrown your current environment.
Saturn goes direct on the 18th and you're ready to take action towards establishing some long-term wealth for yourself. Keep in mind that your legacy takes time to build but you're well on your way to financial freedom. Be mindful of unrealistic expectations around the 21st when it comes to family matters or buying that new home. Preparation is key if you want to invest in property or expand your family. Watch out for tension around the 28th when it comes to your resources and what you share with others. An outstanding debt may need to be paid or you need to compromise if you share funds within a partnership. The month ends with a New Moon, inviting you to expand your social circle and your vision for life. Dream big, Saggie! The world is yours for the taking.
Capricorn
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The first part of the month brings your focus to higher learning and spiritual development, sprinkled in with some foreign affairs. It's time to plan for that Eat, Pray, Love adventure you've been daydreaming about. On the 14th, the Full Moon lends you the spotlight on social media, helping you to express yourself in a more vulnerable way. If you're not ready for IG fame quite yet, this is the perfect time to explore some written or verbal outlets to express your feelings. Mercury and Venus form a lovely conjunction on the same day, gifting you with the gift of gab in your professional environment. If you've been wanting that promotion or raise, now is the time to have that meeting with your boss.
Your ruling planet, Saturn, goes direct on the 18th, helping you catch a little bit of a break (with an emphasis on "little bit"). Okay, so this transit has probably been kicking your ass, but for good reason. Remember, it takes pressure to make diamonds, my love. Stay grounded around the 21st as this energy has the potential to carry you off into la la land. There's a fine line between faith and delusion. Back up your dreams with consistent action and make sure other people's promises are consistent with their actions as well. There may be some tension brewing around the 28th between you and a significant other or business partner. Sometimes it's just best to take some space and reconvene at a later time. The month ends on a high note with the New Moon, blessing you with a new job, promotion, or increased social standing through an achievement of yours. It's about damn time the G.O.A.T. gets the recognition she deserves.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The beginning of September brings your focus to your inner transformation, helping you make amends with your voice of criticism. The Full Moon on the 14th serves to liberate you from emotional wounds, contributing to low self-esteem that inhibit you from sharing your gifts with the world (and monetizing them as well). Mercury and Venus create a harmonious aspect on the same day, elevating you into a position of a guide for others that wish to follow in your footsteps. Don't be afraid to share your wealth of wisdom. This transit can also bring in some sudden opportunities to travel with bae or line you up to meet someone special during your excursion.
Saturn goes direct on the 18th, giving you the push to get more grounded when it comes to your spiritual practices. It's time to get back into that mediation routine or reconnect with your sacred community that holds you accountable for your spiritual growth. Stay grounded around the 21st as there's a tendency to overspend on your friends. It's okay to be generous but make sure you're not trying to prove your worth in social settings by being the big spender. You've got other great qualities that people value when you simply show up. Tensions may be rising around the 28th between your daily responsibilities and your desire to drift off into your dreamworld. This aspect can also reveal a hidden hater in your midst. Avoid getting sucked into anyone's drama and leave them to beef with themselves. The month winds down with a New Moon inspiring you to go back to school, take a course, or dive deeper into personal study that will elevate your mind and spirit.
Pisces
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Relationships are your top priority with the Sun transiting through your opposite sign, helping you bring balance into your key connections. Don't be afraid to set boundaries where necessary. The Full Moon on the 14th helps you clear out the old narratives, and emotions, that have held you back from asserting your individuality. Both Mercury and Venus move into Libra the same day, strengthening your ability to verbalize those feelings you often hide. Fear of intimacy, along with any psychological trauma, can be seen with a clearer perspective during this transit. Saturn, the ruler of karma, goes direct on the 18th, granting you some momentum towards those big hopes and dreams of yours while also providing you with the support from your tribe to motivate you along the way. Try not to shy away from networking in the months to come. Remember, it's not what you know. It's who you know.
Do your best to stay grounded around the 21st when it comes to your expectations in career. Slow and steady wins the race and all of this Capricorn energy is helping you develop some much-needed discipline. Be mindful of tension within a team setting around the 28th. Ideas may be clashing but do your best to find a middle ground. You're all working towards a common goal but just have different ways of going about it. Be flexible! September closes with a New Moon, inviting you to share your wealth, whether that be financially or spiritually. Your willingness to connect with others on a deeper level provides you a sense of being understood—something you've always been seeking.
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Beyond Burnout: Nicole Walters' Blueprint For Achieving Career Success On Your Own Terms
Nicole Walters has always been known for two things: her ambition and her ability to recognize when life’s challenges can also double as an inspiring, lucrative brand.
This was first evident more than a decade ago when she quit her job as the corporate executive of a Fortune 500 company during a Periscope livestream. “I’m not sure if there’s an alignment of [our] future trajectory. I’m going to work for myself. I'm promoting myself to work for myself,” she said at the time before flashing a smile at the viewing audience. As she resigned on camera, a constant stream of encouraging messages floated upwards on the screen.
By 2021, she’d fashioned her work as a corporate consultant and her personal life with her husband and three adopted daughters into a reality show, She’s The Boss, for USA Network. This year, she released the New York Times bestselling memoir Nothing Is Missing, written as she was in the process of getting a divorce and dealing with her eldest daughter’s struggles with substance use.
Convinced that there’s no way the 39-year-old has achieved all of this without intentional strategic planning, I asked her about it when we spoke less than a week before Christmas. I’d seen videos on social media of her working on 2024 planning for other brands, and I wanted to know what that looked like following her own year of success.
She listed a number of goals, including ensuring that the projects she takes on in the new year align with her identity “as a Black woman, as an African woman, as a mother, as someone who has lived a [rebuilding] season and is now trying to live boldly and entirely as themselves.” But, I was shocked by how much of her business planning also prioritized rest.
Despite the bestselling book, a self-titled podcast, and working with numerous corporations, Walters said she’s been taking Fridays off. This year, she doesn’t want to work on Mondays, either.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement,” she said, noting that she’ll check in with herself around March to see how successful this plan has been. The goal, Walters said, is to only be working on Tuesdays and Thursdays by sometime in 2025. “It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
"A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement... It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change."
Walters said the decision to progressively work less was partially in response to her previously held notions about her career, especially as an entrepreneur. “When I first started, I thought burnout was a part of it,” she said. “What I didn’t realize is that even if you’re able to bounce out of burnout or get back to it, there’s a cumulative impact on your body. If you think of your body as a tree and every time you go through burnout, you are taking a hack out of your trunk, yes, that trunk will heal over, and the tree will continue to grow, but it doesn't mean that you don’t have a weakened stem.”
But, the desire for increased rest was also in response to the major shifts that occurred three years ago when she was experiencing major changes in her family and realized her metaphorical tree was “bending all the way over.”
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“One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity,” she added. “That is some language that I think is just now starting to really get unpacked.” In recent years, there’s been an increased awareness of achieving balance in life, with Tricia Hersey’s “The Nap Ministry” gaining attention based on the idea that rest, especially for Black women, is a form of resistance. Even online phrases such as “soft life” and “quiet quitting” have hinted at a cultural shift in prioritizing leisure over professional ambition.
"One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity."
If companies are lining up to consult with Walters about their brands and products, then women have been looking to her for guidance on starting over since she invited them to livestream her resignation 12 years ago. As viewers continue to demand more from content creators in the form of intimate, personal details, Walters has navigated her personal brand with a sense of transparency without oversharing the vulnerable details about her life, especially when it comes to her family.
The entrepreneur said she’d been approached to write a book for several years and was initially convinced she was finally ready to write one about business. “I started to do that, and then I went through my divorce. When that happened, I said, why would I write a book telling people to get the life that I have when I’m not sure about the life that I have,” she said.
Instead, she decided to write Nothing Is Missing and provide a closer look at her life, starting with being born to immigrant Ghanaian parents (“You need to know my childhood to know why I’m passionate about entrepreneurship.”) through the adoption of her three daughters and eventual divorce. Despite her desire to share, however, she said she felt protective of the privacy of her family, including her ex-husband.
When discussing this with me, Walters said she was reminded of a lesson she learned from actress Kerry Washington, who released her own memoir, Thicker Than Water, just a week before Walters’ book release. Washington’s memoir grapples with family secrets, too, specifically the fact that she was conceived using a sperm donor and didn’t learn about it until she was already a successful TV star. While Washington reflects on how the decision and subsequent deception impacted her, she’s also careful to hold space for her parents’ experiences, too. “A lot of things she said was that she had to recognize where she was the supporting character and where she was the main character,” Walter said.
This is something Walter worked to do in Nothing Is Missing when discussing her daughter’s struggles with addiction. “I was very intentional about making sure that I did not reveal more than what was required,” she said. “If I say something about someone’s addiction, I don’t need to go into the list of the substances they used, how they used them, what I found. [I don’t need to] walk into a room and paint a picture of what it looked like for people to understand.”
Walters said some of the most vulnerable moments in the book barely made a ripple once it was released. She was extremely nervous to write about getting an abortion, she said. But no one has asked her about this in the months since the book was released. Instead, people have been more interested in quirkier revelations, such as the fact that she once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.
“I have bared my soul about this thing I went through in my youth that has changed me for people, and people are like, ‘So how heavy was the wheel when you spun it?’” she said, chuckling. “It just goes to show that people never worry about the thing that you worry about.”
With the success of Nothing Is Missing, Walters said she still isn’t planning to release a business book at the moment. But, as she navigates parenting a teenager and two adult children while also navigating a relationship with her new fiancé, Walters said she believes she has at least one or two more books to write about her personal journey. “There is sort of an arc of where my life has gone that I know I’ve got something more to say about this that I think is important, relevant and necessary,” she said.
In just three years, Walters’ life has undergone a major transformation. There’s no telling what the next three years will have in store for her, but it seems likely she’ll retain an inspired audience wherever life takes her.
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Rabbit In Retirement: 10 Women Recently Told Me Why They Stopped Using Sex Toys
Y’all, if there’s one thing that isn’t going away any time soon, it’s definitely sex toys — most specifically, vibrators. That’s not just my opinion either because there is quite a bit of data out here to support the fact that a little over half of all women use them. And out of that bunch, interestingly enough, they’re the ones to get the pelvic exams and do self-vaginal exams the most consistently. If you are among them, kudos to you for that.
And while there are plenty of women who will basically do a free commercial that vouches for sex toys (again, especially vibrators) because of how reliable they are when it comes to achieving the Big O and even though there are also articles (and social media posts) that talk about how some women even prefer them to actually being intimate with men (I don’t get that part yet y’all do you), believe it or not, there are also women who have officially retired their rabbit and dildos. Their reasons may not all be the same, yet there seem to be no regrets for most. I’ve got 10 women here who were happy to state their case.
*Middle names are always used so that people will feel comfortable speaking freely*
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Angelica. 37. Single.
“I started using sex toys because I could never cum with a partner. It didn't matter if he was a casual partner, a boyfriend, or even my ex-husband — sex was fine, but I could never ever fully ‘get there.’ A girlfriend of mine bought me a vibrating bullet, and I was hooked! Too hooked because it caused me to not even care if a man was pleasing me or not. And that’s why I let it go. I’m not going to go through my life thinking that the only way I can orgasm is with a device. The man I’m with now agrees. He’s made it his goal to make me not regret my decision.”
Rheya. 29. Engaged.
“I love my vibrators, do you hear me? I mean, you would think that they were actual people, the way that I used to talk about them, because, yes, I gave them names and everything. Don’t judge me! But when my fiancé and I first started having sex, he would ask me why I had so many of them. When I told him that they were a ‘sure thing,’ I guess he took that as a challenge because, one day, I came home, and they were gone. He said he didn’t throw them away, but he did put them up so that we could focus on him being what I wanted the most. Girl, I ain’t looked for them things. He made his point. No — he makes his point at least once a week!”
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Sebbe. 27. Single.
“If you’ve never used a vibrator before, it can be addicting. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So much that it’ll have you out here mad at men for not being physically capable of doing what it can. I don’t even know if it’s healthy to cum in under two minutes, but what I do know is it’s not fair to expect humans to be like robots. So, I guess I’m on a fast from mine. I can’t promise you that it will be forever, but I do need to do some decompressing. I would hate to hate men for the rest of my life because their d-ck ain’t a rabbit.”
Xen. 32. Married.
“I recently watched a girl on Instagram talk about a vibrator can do just what a man can. I don’t know what the f-ck she was talking about. Back in my sex toy days, I was using them to tide me over in between not having a relationship so that I wouldn’t be out here in these crazy streets! But if any woman thinks that some little thing that you can hold in your hand beats a whole, complete, and entire man in their bed…they clearly have not met their match yet. I have, and I don’t have to see another sex toy again, thanks to him. S-it, let me call this man and tell him that.”
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Nora. 40. Single.
“A thrusting vibrator will change your life! I mean, CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I was out here turning down dates, not hanging with my girls, making it late to work — all kinds of craziness because that’s how much my thrusting vibrator was bringing me joy. That’s the problem: it was taking over my life. Women will talk all day about how porn can destroy a man’s view of intimacy, but they don’t wanna talk about that dependency on a vibrator can do to their cooty cat. One day, I threw mine out the window while driving down the street. I wasn’t going to part with it any other way. It was like I went through withdrawals — and that’s how I knew that it had to go. If no man is supposed to have me crazy actin’ like that, I know that no damn sex toy should!”
Quincie. 31. Single.
“I got scared silly out of not using vibrators anymore. I don’t really want to talk about it. I do want to share a warning: it’s probably not waterproof if it has to be plugged into the wall to charge. Folks don’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, but my vagina is happy to be alive right now.”
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Natalie. 46. In a Serious Relationship.
“Shellie, it was actually talking to you that got me to take the pressure off of myself and the men I sleep with when it comes to [vaginal] orgasms. For years, I would think that something was wrong with me because penetration wasn’t enough. When you said that the placement of the clitoris when it comes to the vagina can play a huge part in climaxing, that set me free! For a long time, I would bring sex toys in to stimulate my clitoris while I was having sex. The man I’m with now said that he preferred to do it — and the ways that he’s come up with, I prefer him too. That’s all I’m gonna say about that. Just know that there are a billion ways for a man to ‘apply pressure,’ sis.”
Bree. 28. Engaged.
“My situation might be different from other women you talk to. What I gave up was my rabbit and dildo, although my fiancé and I use BDSM stuff and cock rings. I got rid of certain sex toys because I like the feeling of only having my man inside of me. The feeling is different, and it takes more effort for me to cum, but I don’t mind that. The intimacy of real flesh is so much better than some silicone.”
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Chevele. 25. Single.
“My reason is simple. My first orgasm was with a sex toy, and I kind of regret that. I wanted to share that with a man — not [from having] ‘just sex’ either. I wanted it to be with someone I was in a serious commitment with, but I listened to my friends and put cumming before the intimacy I know I deserve. I’m seeing someone now, and I think I’m ready to have sex with him. I’m glad that I don’t have the dependency of any sex toy. I just want to see where things go and flow. We’ll see what happens.”
Hazel. 33. Married.
“Sex toys are alright. I’ve never been hooked but I won’t lie that they are very consistent. But when you’re in a happy and healthy marriage, the goal of sex isn’t just having an orgasm. You want to share yourself and learn your partner. Sex toys can make you lazy and almost apathetic if you’re not careful. Mine are in the garage. So long as I’ve got this big fine man in my bed, that’s where they will stay. I don’t miss them at all.”
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There you have it: 10 women who pretty much loved and left as far as sex toys go. I must admit that the thing I enjoy most about these types of articles is that I get to share that there is more than one side to everything. In this case, yes, a lot of women are thriving in their sex toy box. Then there are women who have never touched one. And then there are women who can look back on their experiences fondly and still leave them in the past with no regrets.
My biggest takeaway? If you can’t see life without something, you probably need to scale back a bit. Otherwise, incorporate balance, know your “why” and do you — whether it’s a toy, your man, or…both. #wink
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Featured image by Maksymenko Nataliia/Getty Images