The Ultimate Guide For Sending A Tasteful Nude
“…how you talked me into sending that to you? I’ll never know. f-ck it, girl. I’m bout whatever, tho." -Drake, "Recognize"
While talking to an older relative, she asked me why my generation was so obsessed with sharing everything. I didn’t have much of an answer for her, because I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr. And I’ve sent a nude or 15. I guess it’s just how we do things. This relative, a 60-plus-year-old woman who “doesn’t trust Google” and probably still has money hidden under a mattress somewhere, just didn’t get it, and I was in no position to explain it to her without sharing some rather frisky details about myself. We millennials are into documenting and sharing everything. I mean, if it wasn't caught on Snapchat did it really even happen?
On the topic of nudes, allow me to start by saying I believe them to be a pretty cool way to keep things spicy. It took me a bit of time to come around to the idea of taking half-naked pics, but when I found myself in a long distance relationship that went on for nearly two years, I decided to give it a try. I trusted my boyfriend and wanted to make him happy. But when I decided to try my hand at my inaugural nude, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd react having my mentions explode because my nipples made their way onto Twitter.
How would I tell my mother that I wanted to make my boyfriend's day and that's why my ass is plastered all over the explore page of IG?
Luckily, I've never had to defend my nudes. The recipient(s) know that I will sue them for every single pair of Jordans they own and come for their mommas' too. But, not all women can relate to that. I've been on Twitter about 7 years and I've seen my share of pictures leaked by jaded lovers. In the early days, leaked photos meant deactivate your account because it's over. These gross invasions of privacy led to endless retweets and droves of folks cheering on the leaker. Thankfully, those days are almost over. Now, the leaking of nude photos is often blamed on the true fool, a.k.a. the person who thought stooping to such a level and violating someone who trusted them was cool. Society is now much less forgiving of those who resort to said tactics and legislature has been passed in several states to protect victims against what has been dubbed “revenge porn.”
Unsurprisingly, victims of revenge porn are usually 15- to 25-year-old women who did nothing but document intimate moments with a non-deserving idiot. Though there is no way to ensure that you never become the star of some revenge porn flick (outside of completely opting out of sending them, which is no fun), there are ways to protect your privacy in the event that you don't know someone as well as you thought. Here are a few tips:
- No face, no case. Angles are our friends. They have the ability to enhance the sexy and show off one's creativity. A solid lip + boob shot can be much more effective than an entire selfie.
[Tweet "A solid lip + boob shot can be much more effective than an entire selfie."]
- Try to avoid showcasing distinctive tattoos and birth marks. If you have an insane chest piece, consider throwing on a tank and using good lighting to get a solid nipple pic, Or, stay out of the boob area entirely and send pics of your…well, something that could belong to any woman, if you catch my drift.
- Please don't use THAT mirror. If these pictures do find their way onto the timeline, it’s kinda hard to say it wasn’t you when it has those blue curtains from Target’s 2013 back-to-college collection. You know, the same exact ones in just about every other selfie you’ve posted in the last two years. Location. It's all about location.
- STAY AWAY FROM F-BOYS. If you've seen him leak pics of other women, please proceed with caution. Any guy who has, alludes to or jokes about leaking pictures is probably not someone you should be sending your nani to. Just saying.
Lastly, if someone ever does try to use your nude photos against you, remember that you are NOT the problem. You did what you did in confidence and probably looked damn good doing it.
At worst, you’ll have to explain it all to your dad, but at best, you could end up with a Kim Kardashian-sized come-up. Or maybe just an episode of Love and Hip-Hop. Ya never know!
What are some of your tips and tricks for sending nudes? Share with us below.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It’s almost that time when the girlies are gonna be hopping in the chair to get the most popular style of the warmer seasons: goddess braids. Goddess braids are not just a hairstyle; they're a statement of elegance, power, and divine beauty. Whether you've recently adorned yourself with these stunning braids or are considering them, one thing remains certain: maintaining them is key to preserving their splendor. In this guide, we'll delve into the art of maintaining goddess braids, ensuring they remain flawless for longer periods.
Let’s start with some pro tips from Breanna Knights, a Brooklyn-based stylist with over a decade of experience in the beauty and fashion industry, specializing in goddess braids. She takes pride in maintaining the beauty and longevity of her clients' goddess braids, focusing on ensuring their scalp and curls remain healthy and hydrated.
Knights’ expertise extends to understanding the tension level, hydration needs, and proper cleansing techniques for goddess braids.
Hydration Is Key:
Moisture is essential for maintaining the integrity of your goddess braids. Use a lightweight leave-in conditioner or moisturizing spray to hydrate your scalp and braids. Pay attention to the ends of the braids, as they tend to be the driest part. Avoid heavy products that can weigh down the braids and cause buildup.
“To maintain neatness and longevity for goddess braid styles, I recommend treating the goddess hair just as you would your natural curls," Knights tells us. "This consists of putting up your hair at night in a bonnet. I also encourage using mousse or a bottle of water mixed with conditioner to make the curls bounce back. These two options depend on if the curls are a synthetic blend, or if it’s 100% human hair."
When it comes to keeping the goddess curls refreshed and hydrated, Knights’ favorite mousse brands include:
Bumble and bumble's Bb Curl Mousse
Bumble and bumble
Bumble and bumble's Bb Curl Mousse is a lightweight mousse that enhances curls with a blend of oils and butters, providing long-lasting volume, and bounce without stiffness.
The Vigorol Mousse Olive Oil
Amazon
The Vigorol Mousse Olive Oil is a fave amongst the girlies. Reviewers say, “Product works well taming frizzy curls as well smoothing natural hair, human hair, and synthetic crochet or individual braided hair. Adds shine without looking or feeling greasy.”
Knights also recommends using Creme of Nature Argan Oil Intensive Conditioning Treatment mixed with water in a spray bottle. “These products are sure to bring curls back to life," she adds.
If you’re looking for particular techniques or tricks to alleviate tension or discomfort often associated with wearing goddess braids, Knights shares that knotless goddess braids are usually done with less tension at the scalp, rather than traditional braids. “I highly suggest gauging tightness throughout your braiding session with your stylist. Should your braids end up too tight, one of my favorite go-to's is the Bumble and bumble’s Hairdresser's Invisible Oil. It provides a cool sensation on the scalp, without over saturating the scalp with oil,” Knights says.
The stylist also suggests a spray bottle with water to relieve tension. Additionally, less styling in the first few days of installing the braids to avoid scalp irritation.
Gentle Cleansing:
One topic that can be confusing when committing to goddess braids is the washing process. Should I wash my braids? How often should I wash them? We had all the questions, and Knights came with the tea. “Everyone’s wash [day] routine is different. To each client’s discernment, by weeks 3-4, if your scalp is itchy or shows signs of dandruff, it would be safe to wash your braids.
"I highly recommend paying more attention to the scalp rather than the braids itself. Keeping the braids up in a bun while saturating the scalp will keep the curls from matting and tangling during the wash process. After washing the scalp I recommend reapplying mousse and tying the hair down with a scarf to help tame any frizz that may occur after washing.”
Protect Your Crown:
One of the biggest keys to the longevity of goddess braids is having a braid bonnet and shower cap to ensure that the braids are dry. Invest in a satin or silk bonnet or scarf to protect your goddess braids while you sleep. Cotton pillowcases can cause friction, leading to frizz and flyaways. Additionally, tying your braids with a silk scarf can help preserve their shape and prevent them from unraveling.
“Combing through the loose curls with your fingers and having a routine to ensure that the hair isn't matting or entangling into one another can help with longevity as well," Knights shares. "The same way you’d care for your curls after a successful wash day would also promote the longevity for any 'goddess' style!”
Courtesy
Regular Touch-ups:
As your natural hair grows, your goddess braids may begin to loosen or develop new growth around the edges. Schedule regular touch-up appointments with your hairstylist to re-braid the edges and ensure a seamless look. Avoid leaving braids in for too long, as this can cause tension on the scalp and lead to breakage.
Minimize Manipulation:
While it's tempting to constantly touch and style your goddess braids, excessive manipulation can lead to frizz and premature loosening. Limit the use of styling tools and refrain from pulling or tugging on the braids. Embrace the natural beauty of your braids and allow them to flourish with minimal interference.
Nourish from Within:
Maintaining healthy hair starts from within. Ensure you're consuming a balanced diet rich in vitamins, minerals, and hydration to promote hair growth and vitality. Incorporate foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and plenty of water into your daily routine for optimal hair health.
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