

Picture this. It was a beautiful summer night near the water. He held her close as he gazed into her eyes. She stroked his face before leaning into his kiss. That night, they fell in love. Or did they? While the idea that the couple was destined to fall for each other is enchanting, chances are there are other reasons for human attraction (feelings of falling in love). And some are quite interesting.
As it turns out, the reasons people fall for one another may have less to do with destiny and more to do with biological, psychological, and environmental factors such as attraction, timing, and...owning a dog?
1.Ring by spring. Love forecast.
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Is it possible for warm weather (read: springtime) to have an affect on your love life? Some say yes. A recent blog post shared research from neuroscientists who claim that springtime is the best season for a new relationship to bloom. Naturally, as the days get longer, skirts get shorter, meaning not much is left to the imagination in the fashion department. People wear less clothes and thus, sexual attraction/desires increase. Have you ever noticed that more than flowers bloom in the spring? Online dating app, Zoosk, compared data from ten major cities to see how changes in the weather affected their users.
2.Sex, passion, and physical touch.
Listen, you had me at sex. Not that we actually needed science to tell us that sex produces feelings of love, but as it turns out, there actually is science to support this claim. Well, kinda. Our bodies churn out chemical messengers known as pheromones when we are in close proximity to one another. Therefore, physical contact where there is an exchange of bodily fluids such as sweat or saliva is present manufactures these chemicals. Additionally, sex produces oxytocin, commonly referred to as the love hormone during orgasm and replicates feelings of love but is more likely creating an attachment than actual love.
3.Kissing.
While this may seem obvious, there's actually a more biological reason why kissing increases attraction. Male saliva contains trace amounts of testosterone which can boost the sex drive of a woman. Additionally, evolutionary scientists believe women can detect genetic compounds that are essential for the immune system and will increase their chances of having healthy children. Now if that's not a good reason to spark a makeout session, then I don't know what is.
4.Menstrual cycle (for women).
Did you know that changes in your hormonal levels at different points in your menstrual cycle can trigger certain urges/outcomes? For example, women that are ovulating are rated as being more attractive by men. That's certainly an ego-boost if nothing else, especially when we feel anything but attractive while coping with cramps and excessive water retention. But that's not the only weird side effect of menstruation. A 2012 study found another useful occurrence in women who were strongly bonded to their partner and experienced more intimate physical contact with them during high fertility days of their cycle.
5.The Holy Trinity of Intimacy.
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Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love proposes that love consists of three elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment, with commitment as the foundational basis and passion being the most unstable. Intimacy refers to the closeness between partners with regard to emotional connection, while passion is more aligned with feelings gained through a sexual connection.
The element of commitment is when partners make a decision to "stop looking" for other partners and pursue a relationship with each other. While each component is separate, they can influence each other. For example, having greater intimacy can lead to more commitment and vice versa. Sternberg's theory can be summed up with the idea that a relationship can exist with a combination of any two (or less) elements, but for a consummate love, all three aspects are required.
6.Tug of war.
There's a popular saying that opposites attract, but the Bible says you must be equally yoked. So which one is? Actually, it's both. Communication theorists call this interplay relational dialectics. You can email me to learn more about that, if you're interested, but what it primarily focuses on is how individuals deal with contractions in their relationship. Generally speaking, attraction grows when you have something in common with a person. This can be liking the same type of music or eating similar kinds of food, or it could be something more substantial like having the same values or beliefs.
But relationships also benefit when partners are not too much alike and can offer something new to each other. The most common contradictions in relationships are the dynamics between introverts and extroverts, affectionate and non-affectionate, and clingy versus independent individuals. The key to a successful relationship is to find a happy medium.
7.Commitment
People think commitment starts with desire, but it actually begins with necessity. Yes, people commit when you're able to fulfill a need they have. Sometimes it's sexual, emotional, intellectual, even financial. But generally speaking, people stick around when they feel like they have a reason to. I've spoken to hundreds of women who have no problem dating and meeting new men, but when it comes time to take the relationship to the next level and commit to each other, they're left wondering why he walked away.
Experts say there are three things that people consider when deciding to commit to someone: how satisfied they are with their partner or the relationship, the availability of options outside of the relationship, and how much they've already invested into the relationship.
8.Looking like your partner’s parents… Say what, now?
Greek mythology relays the tale of a mythical king, Oedipus, whose tragic demise resulted in him killing his father and marrying his mother. From this tragedy, the world-renown psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud coined "The Oedipus Complex" to describe a child's feelings of desire for his or her opposite-sex parent. Recent studies have latched on to Freud's ideas claiming some folks are attracted to people with similar features as their parents such as skin tone, hair/eye color, and the age range they saw at birth. So if it's any consolation for why your ex's new girlfriend is frumpy-looking like his mom, this might explain why. Sigh.
9.Eye contact.
In 1997, Arthur Aron and a group of psychologists conducted an experiment to see if they could "create" intimacy between couples and ultimately make them fall in love. One study consisted of about 50 strangers, a series of 36 questions followed by a two-minute period of complete silence while looking into each other's eyes. Their experiment resulted in an almost 60 percent success rate with several couples going steady and two successful marriages.
10.If you own a dog.
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Several studies have concluded that dogs contribute to social interaction among strangers. A 1992 study by Kelly Ann Rossbach & John P. Wilson showed that the presence of a dog can make a person appear more likable. Research shows that people are more likely to attribute positive characteristics such as being caring, patient, and nurturing to dog-owners. These qualities are commonly cited as reasons people fall in love, thus making them more desirable to date.
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Also known as The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw for her relentless love of shoes and emotionally unavailable men, DeJa K. Johnson is unapologetic in her pursuits to find love, happiness, and orgasms. A graduate of UA Little Rock, DeJa earned a Master's degree in Applied Communication with an emphasis on Interpersonal & Romantic relationships. She is also the founder of TheBreakupSpace.com, a safe space for men and women who need help getting over the loss of a romantic relationship. To connect, you can find her on all social media @TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw or send her an email to love@TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com.
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Mother's Day is loading and so is our new series. Meet Michelle Ganey, Laurencia Bright, and Joy Ferrell as they each share their motherhood journey and the ups and downs that come along with it. Whether you're in your motherhood era, wanna be one, or just love yours deeply, The Mother Load series will have you laughing, crying, and calling your mom.
Motherhood is one thing, but Black motherhood is its own unique institution. From fears that only Black mothers can understand to the unspoken language that connects them, our series delve into the vulnerable conversations that are often not highlighted in mainstream media.
Laurencia Bright
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“They are products of their environment, of your parenting, of your personality, things like that. So check yourself,” Laurencia reminds us. Motherhood may come with a whole set of challenges and having to face yourself can be one of them. Laurencia opens up about how motherhood taught her to break generational cycles.
Joy Ferrell
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Joy, like most mothers, put their kids first. However, the mom of two is now learning that it's okay to put herself first. "It's okay to not fill your life up with your kids," she says. "It's okay to still be an individual and to actually actively and aggressively pursue being an individual versus a mom."
Michelle Ganey
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When it comes to Black mama rules, Michelle Ganey reflects on a classic one, "Do not embarrass me in public," she says. "I think one of my hardest struggles with kids is not caring about how they look when they leave the house and it feeling like its a direct reflection on me as a mother."
Watch the full The Mother Load series below:
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