The Brazilian Wax: Why Women Go Bare
I got my first wax senior year of college for spring break in Miami. I decided to opt out of the beginner bikini option and went for the full monty: the Brazilian wax. For those who may be unfamiliar on what a Brazilian wax is, it's a technique where all of the pubic hair is removed from front to back, leaving you as smooth and as bare down there as a baby.
It was a beautiful sunny Saturday, so my girlfriends and I picked a salon and set up a group appointment to get our first waxes just in time to hit the beach. I was so excited, but I also had no idea what to expect. We were a group of novices in the wax world all joining forces to accomplish the same mission. This may sound dramatic, but as each of us entered the salon rooms one by one, I could hear a couple of them squeal in pain. A few of the other rooms remained silent. Were they dead? Did they pass out? What's going on in there?! Those were just a few of the many thoughts running through my mind until the wax beautician called out my name. It was finally my turn to find out and face the music.
While lying on the soft terry cloth table, my beautician tried her best to make small talk with me in efforts to distract me from the task at hand. She won and I was caught off-guard every single time. Each pull was fast and painful. The sting would last for a few seconds, but when placing her hand over each area after the pull, the pain settled. These steps repeated multiple times while being put in every compromising position to get the job done. About halfway through, I told her I wanted to stop and then I looked down at how ridiculous “my half-assed situation" looked and was forced to continue until every hair was gone.
In the end, I absolutely loved the results.
Not only did I feel fresh and smooth, but the comfort in knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about my nether regions for a few weeks put me at ease! The whole experience made me curious of why other women get waxes and who they get them for, if anyone.
My girlfriends and I have had numerous discussions as to why we wax. Let me introduce you to a few of them:
For Special Occasions
Tiffany: “I didn't really think it was all that painful or unbearable. It's definitely NOTHING like getting your eyebrows waxed of course, but my experience wasn't terrible and I loved the results. I'd definitely do it again. I also choose to wax when I know I will be wearing bikinis. I like the clean look and not having to feel self-conscious about what bikinis I can and can't wear. It makes me feel free and I like that."
Sade: “I usually get waxes for special occasions. It makes the hair lighter after a while, which I like and if I haven't gone in a while, it's not as hairy or painful. When I had a boo, I did it for him, but then after a while, I just liked the general upkeep here and there. I used to go every six weeks, now I make sure to schedule 4-5 appointments over the course of the year. It makes me feel like I'm maintaining myself, similar to the feeling of getting your nails done."
Summer: “Well, I don't get waxes every month like I used to. I will every once in a while. Initially, I was getting them because I didn't want to shave… then, I got married. I do like how clean it looks and feels, but moral of the story is that I cared before I got married. I don't really do it much anymore because it's super painful, and I mean, he's going to want it regardless."
For A Man
Maria: “I JUST got a wax! It makes me feel fresh, clean, and sexy and I don't have to worry about razor bumps from shaving. When I get a wax, I'm ready to show off my kitty to anyone!"
For Herself
Brooke: “I've been getting waxed for so long that I consider it part of my regular beauty regimen. In the same way that I get my nails done every other week or get my hair done weekly, I get a wax every month. It makes me feel great and confident. And this way, I'm ready for bikini season year-round."
Christina: “Reluctantly, yes, I'm #teamwax. I haven't subjected myself to the torture since December since it's been cold and no one's clearly been on my lawn, but I'll get them when spring gets here. I definitely get them for the confidence and sexy factor. And a groomed lawn definitely makes sexy undies look better."
Sam: “I get Brazilians regularly. I feel cleaner when it's all gone and it's really smooth. It lasts longer than shaving too. I go about every five weeks and I get them for myself. The older I get, the more I like doing those things for me."
We all have various reasons why we maintain the upkeep of our lady parts. For me personally, I get waxed sporadically. Although again, I love the results, it's a lot of maintenance that I'm just too lazy to put in. It's also uncomfortable and costly over time. I believe a Brazilian can range from $30-$50 depending on where you get it done.
Add that up over the course of every 3-4 weeks, and you get the picture. If I had my way, I would laser it away so I wouldn't have to deal with it ever again. That day might be in my near future, but until then, I'll stick with my sporadic routine. Perhaps over the summer or for vacation, or maybe for my man. I'll do it whenever I feel like it.
What about you? Do you relate to me or any of my friends? What type of wax do you prefer and who do you wax it off for?
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
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Featured image by Sir Taylor