

When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?
I collect panties. Next to lip gloss, it is almost an obsession of mine. I mean, I have so many that I could wear one a day, for about nine months, before ever running out. But as I've gotten older and more intentional about taking care of what I encourage all of my love nieces to call "their treasure box", as much as I hate it—because some of my drawers are super cute—I've been letting my underwear go at a faster pace than I used to. Why? Because as much as I sometimes don't want to accept the fact, just about everything has an expiration date—bras, panties and some of the other things that I'm about to share with you are not excluded from this very fact.
We spend a lot of time on this site sharing things that you can do to be a healthier you. But I'm gonna be real with you, sis—if you've got panties that you've owned since this time three years ago or an entire bathroom drawer that's full of make-up that has the writing missing from it, now is the time to set aside a couple of hours this weekend to do some tossing and replacing. In just a sec, you're gonna see just why I said that and how much better you'll be treating your body if you do.
Bras
I recently read somewhere that you can go two weeks before washing your bra. I kind of found that to be interesting since they are on 6-to-whenever hours a day. Personally, I was thinking that once a week made more sense. Anyway, since a bra is designed to give our girls support for hours on end, it makes sense that they would need to be replaced. How often? According to lingerie experts, you can rotate 4-6 of 'em for about a year before it's time to get some more.
Signs that you need a new one? If your bra hikes up your back, if the outline of it shows through your tees (that usually means that the fabric has stretched out), if your breasts don't look as "perky" as they used to, if your breasts are sweating more (a good bra will minimize that), or if you continuously have to readjust your bra, put a budget aside (because good bras ain't cheap, chile). It's time for a new set.
Panties
Just think about what panties go through on a daily basis. Our vaginas are self-cleaning, so panties are catching discharge. Pubic hair sheds, so there's that. Even the best menstrual cups can cause leakage if we're not careful. Whether we choose to admit it or not, all of us, as my grandmother used to put it, "break wind", 10-20 times a day (which leaves tiny particles of fecal matter behind). So yeah, if ANYTHING needs to be replaced fairly regularly, panties would be it!
How regularly? Although I laughed when one gynecologist said that we probably wouldn't die if we wore them until they practically fell off, the general consensus that I saw was it's time to get new ones every six months. Of course, if they don't fit well, the elastic wears out or they carry a stench (even after washing them) before then, get some new ones sooner.
One more thing, since there is "a tenth of a gram of poop in the average pair of underwear" and "about 100 million E. coli in the wash water" of a washing machine that can easily transfer over into your new load of laundry, this is one reason to strongly consider washing your panties by hand. Just something to think about. Hard.
Mascara
Our eyes are precious. That's why we need to be extremely careful about what we put near or on them. As far as mascara goes, the FDA says that each tube of mascara should only be used for three months before tossing it out. And, definitely don't keep any mascara around if it has dried out and/or you're spitting on the wand in order to "make it work" again. Whether you realize it or not, you're practically begging for bacteria to get into your eyes and that could lead to a big ole' infection.
(By the way, pencil eyeliners should be replaced every 6-9 months, and liquid eyeliner should be replaced every three months, for reasons similar to mascara. Eyeshadows are cool for two years, so long as you keep the lids on them securely closed after every use.)
Lipstick
It's not like you only apply lipstick right after your brush your teeth and exfoliate your lips, right? This means that every time you reapply, some sort of bacteria is going onto the tube. After months of that, coffee cups, water bottles and kisses, germs can really start to pile up. Plus, lipstick is at its best when it's stored in a cool dry place; our purses and glove compartment aren't always that. For all of these reasons, it's best that you replace your lipsticks once a year.
Foundation
Whether it's liquid or cream, foundation is not built to last forever. After about 10 months or so, the color and consistency are not as good as they were when you first purchased it. That's why it's best to cop some new foundation every 12 months or so; sooner if it cakes up or looks "weird" in natural light.
Oh, and for the health of your skin, try and avoid applying foundation with your fingers as much as possible. There's no tellin' how much bacteria is on your hands and nails. You can reduce the risk of breakouts by applying it with a make-up brush instead.
Make-Up Brushes
Speaking of make-up brushes, if you wash yours once a week and you spent more than a couple of bucks when you bought them, they should be able to last you a good five years. The key is to gently wash them, let them air dry (they should be hanging down so that the water doesn't drip all over the handle), and to look for signs that they are wearing out—like not feeling full and soft or the handle showing clear signs of wear and tear.
Hairbrushes
Something that I recall doing every couple of weeks was washing my hairbrushes in some liquid castile soap. It makes sense since brushes not only help to style our hair, but they also remove debris, dandruff, residue from hair products and all sorts of other random crap from our heads.
If you get a quality brush (especially if it contains natural bristles), its shelf life can last a few years. But that's only if you wash it regularly, remove hair from it every time that you use it and you store it properly. Still, with the wear and tear that brushes take, it's still a good idea to replace yours every 3-4 years.
Bed Sheets
When I was growing up, it was a given that every Friday, bedding was going to be changed. Most of us probably just do it out of habit, but if you stop and think all of what you're laying down on after say, day five, you might want to change your sheets more than that! First, we all shed 30,000 dead skin cells a day and 6-10 hours' worth of those are in bed. Then there's the fungus and bacteria that we naturally carry, along with, again, the tiny particles of fecal matter that land on our sheets, every time we pass gas (if you sleep naked or with someone who sleeps naked). Not to mention the drooling, hair products and hair shedding that happens to our pillowcases.
Yeah, bedding takes quite the beating. That's why you should wash your sheets and pillowcases no less than once a week (some experts say pillowcases should be washed 2-3 times a week), and you should replace your bedding entirely every 2-3 years.
Washcloths
If anything takes a regular lickin', it's our washcloths (if you want to know just how much, check out "The Truth About Washcloths"). So much in fact that, I don't know about you, but I use two different ones—one for my face and one for everywhere else. Since it is a main "tool" that is used to remove all of the "gunk" that our body accumulates throughout the day—and/or night, depending on how many times that you shower—it's a good idea to use a new set of washcloths a couple of times a week.
As far as when you should replace them altogether, it all depends on how often you use them. The fancy stuff that is mostly reserved for guests, since you're probably only using them a few times a year, they can last for five years or so. But the ones that you use on a regular basis? 1-2 years top is how long you should keep them around.
Towels
Just because towels are (mostly) used to dry ourselves off after washing up, that doesn't mean they aren't a breeding ground for bacteria too. That's why they need to be washed, along with your bedding, every week. As far as getting new ones go, because they tend to be more durable than washcloths, so long as they aren't fraying or sucking on the absorbency tip, you should be able to keep the ones you've currently got for 3-4 years. Not bad, huh?
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Over 80% of Women are Wearing the Wrong Bra Size. This Is How to Tell if You Are One Of Them.
Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes
What Is Double Cleansing & Should It Be On Your Beauty To-Do List?
5 Easy Ways To Raise The Vibration Of Your Home
Feature image by Getty Images
- Best Lingerie For Your Body Type - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 10 Women On Why They Stopped Wearing Panties Underwear - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
There’s A New 'Silent' Trend Inviting You To Leave Your Headphones At Home
I think we all can agree that if there’s one self-care practice that has drastically improved our lives over the last couple of years, it has to be the introduction of "hot girl walks."
These 30-minute to 1-hour-long strolling adventures have given us a way to clear our minds and listen to our favorite songs, all while staying active and getting our bodies moving. And while we may have grown accustomed to having a fire playlist or podcast as the soundtrack to our walks, there's a new, more mindful alternative that’s taking a spin on your sidewalk struts.
“Silent walks” are the new walking trend that’s offering a deeper mind and body connection while taking a solo walk. Sure, the thought of having to take a walk for any duration of time while alone with your thoughts may seem unnatural, but you may be surprised to learn that tapping into that silence around you could give you an extra boost of clarity that you’re looking for.
As explained by the creator of “silent walks,” TikTok user Mady Maio, the idea was sparked by her boyfriend challenging her to take a distraction-free walk without the audio support of music or podcasts. While she was resistant to the challenge because her “anxiety could never,” Maio soon found that after two minutes of her mind going “haywire,” she was able to tap into a flow state that allowed her to hear herself and her thoughts more clearly.
@madymaio #stitch with @KENZIEELIZABETH WE’RE SILENT WALKING ALL SUMMER, BABE 🚶 #walkinggirls #girlswhowalk #meditativewalk #intentionalwalk
Many times when we go on walks, the goal is to either get fresh air or clear our minds from all the mental junk that’s been floating around throughout the day. But when we don’t allow ourselves the space to sit in silence, our inner voice can be drowned out by external distractions and stimuli.
As the creator of the trend notes, God, the Universe, or whichever higher power you connect to has a tendency to speak in whispers. But if we’re unable to tap into quiet and still moments within our days, we could miss an opportunity to receive the answers that could come to us in the silence.
Silence allows us to tap into a meditative state. When we practice quieting our minds and focusing our attention inward, without the use of external guidance or verbal cues, we’re able to decrease brain fog, find solutions to our tangled thoughts, and let new ideas flow.
Silent walks also connect back to the original goals of its predecessor, hot girl walks, which encouraged walkers to focus on three main things: their goals, how they’re going to achieve those goals, and all the things they’re grateful for. Only this time, you're getting your dopamine hit from the thoughts you’re able to produce as opposed to the music, podcast, and phone calls you’re typically tuned into.
When channeled properly, silence is the gift that keeps on giving. With many people finding silent walks to be a valuable tool for reducing stress, enhancing mental clarity, and increasing overall well-being, this is your invitation to leave the headphones at home and plug into the world around you on your next outdoor journey.
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Featured image by Xavier Lorenzo/Getty Images