Ladies, how y'all feeling? Fellas, y'all alright?
Between B. Smith's death, Kobe and GiGi's memorial, anticipating the upcoming election, and worrying about the damn coronavirus, it's safe to say that February was a rough year for us all.
While I may not be able to stop your co-worker from getting on your last nerve or your neighbor's dog from sh*tting on your lawn, I can give you a list of Black AF Netflix titles to help get you through the month.
Because binge-watching Netflix with unlimited wine is self-care (and self-care is essential) here's a list of titles to get you started:
Harlem Nights (March 1)
Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, and Redd Foxx. Name a better trio… I'll wait. Featuring Lela Rochon, Jasmine Guy, Arsenio Hall, the late Charlie Murphy, this classic late 80s-comedy is the boost of throwback flavor you didn't know you needed this month.
Space Jam (March 1)
Before LeBron and D Wade, there was MJ and Bugs (Bunny, that is). I think it's safe to say that no '90s baby's childhood was complete without this film somewhere in the mix and you can get all the nostalgia by streaming this throwback classic on Netflix right now.
The Story of God With Morgan Freeman: Season 2 (March 1)
I'ma let y'all finish, but Morgan Freeman is the greatest voice-over narrator of all-time, and the actor used his killer commentary skills to star in seasons one and two of the National Geographic documentary series, The Story Of God.
Freedom Writers (March 1)
Grab a box of tissues and your favorite blanket to watch a young Mario star alongside actress Hilary Swank in this 2007 real life-inspired drama about a troubled group of students who find peace in their pens.
Always a Bridesmaid (March 1)
This BET original screenplay by Yvette Nicole Brown tells a story that many single women over 30 know well and was even nominated for an NAACP award for Outstanding Writing in a Television Movie.
Shawshank Redemption (March 1)
Last September, this Stephen King-inspired film celebrated its 25th anniversary after being nominated for seven Oscars in 1995 and sadly, it still reflects the flawed criminal justice system that is in place today.
Mo Money (March 1)
Written by and starring Damon Wayans, this goofy rom-com was originally released in 1992 and also features Stacy Dash, Bernie Mac, and Marlon Wayans.
Cop Out (March 1)
Originally released in 2010, this film stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan star as NYPD detectives who get mixed up in a world of trouble while trying to sell a rare baseball card.
Spenser Confidential (March 6)
Starring Winston Duke, Mark Wahlberg, and Iliza Shlesinger, this Netflix original comedy-thriller has violence, dirty cops, and political conspiracy theories, making this the perfect film for the action movie buff in your life.
On My Block: Season 3 (March 11)
The trailer for season three of On My Block dropped and it is clear that sh*t has officially gotten real for our Freeridge fam. Making its way on the platform on March 11th, the series promises even more twists and turns as the teenagers come into their own throughout the upcoming season.
Black Lightning: Season 3 (March 17)
The only thing missing from this Black AF list is our favorite Black AF superhero household, the Pierce family. The third season of the CW series will be available to stream on March 17th.
All American: Season 2 (March 17)
Season 2 of The CW's All-American came to an end last month but luckily for fans, they can indulge in all of the high school football drama in this Taye Diggs-led sitcom all over again on Netflix March 17th.
Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madam C.J. Walker (March 20)
While Madam C.J. Walker is wildly known for as the mother of Black hair products, she was much more than a beautician and Netflix's latest original four-part limited series gives us a glimpse into the life of the wealthiest Black woman in America in the early 1900s. With an all-star cast of entertainers like Octavia Spencer, Blair Underwood, Tiffany Haddish, and Bill Bellamy, Self Made is the Black AF biopic we didn't know we were missing.
Uncorked (March 27)
Written and directed by Prentice Penny (Insecure), this Netflix original stars Niecy Nash, Courtney B. Vance, and Mamoudou Athie in a story about a Memphis man whose dreams of being a Master Sommelier are often clouded by his father's expectations to carry on the family BBQ business.
Featured image by Harlem Nights.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images