For some time now, the Human Design (HD) System has been picking up mainstream traction! And like so many other explorative journeys, the concept of Human Design took off via social media. Similar to Astrology, Human Design requires your birth time and date, and it also provides a map of sorts to help you navigate this world with purpose while being uniquely you (and tapping into your purpose). In fact, if you desire, the information can work simultaneously with Astrology.
The Human Design System is comprised of four different archetypes: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. And the first step is figuring out which archetype you fall under, which you can do here. In order to get a better understanding of what Human Design is, we spoke with Human Design experts and hosts of DayLuna Human Design Podcast, Dana Stiles and Shayna Cornelius. Because I’m certain there will be burning questions surrounding love and HD, the DayLuna co-creators also share the best way to use the concept to deepen our romantic connections.
So, how can this information help you connect more intimately with your partners? Well, as excited as we are to share, we should begin by giving you an expert definition of Human Design and go from there.
What is Human Design?
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Though some refer to Human Design as ‘the new Astrology,’ Dana and Shayna expound on the definition, explaining, “Human Design is the science of differentiation. It is a modality that shows us how we are uniquely designed, how we are meant to use our energy in a different way than other people, and what our unique gifts and life purpose is.”
Furthermore, the co-creators add that it “pinpoints the way in which our energy flows as an individual while offering strategies and insight on how to use our energy correctly so that we can find personal alignment as we live our unique life purpose.”
The composition or roots of HD are a combination, utilizing ancient and modern sciences. “It synthesizes wisdom from the Chinese I-Ching, Western Astrology, Hindu Chakra System, and the Kabbalah Tree of Life and integrates this wisdom with Genetics, Quantum Mechanics, Astronomy, and Biochemistry,” they add.
How Human Design Works Similar To and With Astrology
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Earlier we discussed very briefly that there are similarities between Human Design and Astrology and that the two could even be paired together. Dana and Shayna highlight this similarity further by saying, “Like Astrology, Human Design can tell you about your personality and how you operate, however, it is much more specific and detailed because it breaks each zodiac archetype down into smaller traits, which you may or may not have depending on your chart.”
They continue, “Understanding what your Human Design gifts are in these placements along with your own North and South Node zodiac placement is powerful in understanding your life purpose!” Our life purpose is something so many of us are in constant search of, which is why we even find ourselves drawn to religion, Astrology, or Human Design to begin with.
As humans, we are constantly in search of something “more” that informs us of why we were placed on this planet. And we do this to initiate and cultivate day-to-day guidance on the way to finding answers to our questions.
Human Design + You, Me & Intimacy
Getty ImagesNow that we know how Human Design can help us connect more deeply with ourselves, how does HD help us flourish in our external relationships? In a nutshell, the answer is self-love but with HD we can get more specific about what that looks like…thankfully. If you’ve ever been told to love yourself as the solution to finding romantic love, you know how batshit crazy the standalone advice without any guidance can be. But because HD goes in-depth, it can help you get to the bottom of what that may look like for you and how to best honor that.
When discussing the best way to elevate relationships using HD, Dana and Shayna pointed out that “understanding yourself, how you best operate, and how you are interacting with other people around you is so important when it comes to conscious relationships. Awareness always has to start with yourself. When you fully understand yourself and what alignment looks like for you, you can then understand others and release judgment and comparison.”
“This leads to more self-love and love for others. If you are struggling in a relationship, we invite you to get clear on who you are and how you best make decisions that are energetically correct for you (your HD chart can show you how) and then start making decisions within your relationship in this new way! This is the fastest way to transform any relationship in your life and even attract your dream partner.”
HD works by helping you to honor yourself first or so it seems. The one place that it differs from how we (mainstream culture not to be confused with experts) have begun to discuss Astrology is that no archetype is to be villainized. That said, there is no such thing as dating the wrong HD profile. According to our experts, you simply learn what and who feels in alignment with you, your truth, and your journey.
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“There are no Human Design charts that are better or worse when it comes to pairing/partnership. Human Design teaches you how to become your own authority in life and how to feel when something is in alignment for you or not. You then can make your own decision on if someone is right for you or not and trust that the truth you are feeling is energetically correct for you. Understanding your partner's chart is huge in understanding how you are both different/similar to each other. The best way to navigate any obstacle will become crystal-clear with this awareness.”
Additionally, the expert co-founders shared that there are three types of “connections” that you may stumble upon “depending on your charts”:
- Electromagnetic spark connection: You feel the chemistry when you are together, fireworks, and a sense of the feeling of "you complete me."
- Friendship connection: You have a lot of similarities in your charts and you feel a sense of "you get me."
- Dominating connection: One person leads in this area and the other follows and that feels good for both of you.
The two add that this just scratches the surface of how you may be connecting with your partner as you may have a combination of all three.
According to the experts, similar to humans, Human Design is complex and therefore deeply profound when you discover yourself through this system. As much as we seek out love, every piece of wisdom left behind for us indicates that the work begins and ends with us. By no means is this saying you must be healed and whole before you find love, but that you must be aware and have insight into yourself to even begin to know what you’re looking for when it comes to love.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
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“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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I had the pleasure of sitting down with Tonesa herself, director Vivica A. Fox and executive producer Tressa Smallwood to discuss the new film now streaming on BET+ to discuss the transformative power of storytelling and the critical role that Black women play in owning and shaping our narratives.
Certainly, Vivica Fox is no stranger to the big screen, having graced us with her captivating performances in a myriad of iconic roles such as Set It Off and Two Can Play That Game. However, this project marked a momentous first for Vivica as she stepped into the director's chair, embracing a new and exciting chapter in her illustrious career. In a candid conversation, Vivica expressed her heartfelt gratitude towards her collaborator, Tressa, who offered her the invaluable opportunity to explore the world of directing.
“I'm actually very grateful to my partner there, Tressa. She gave me an opportunity to see if I like directing,” Vivica shared. She went on to reveal the challenges and triumphs of the production process, noting that the team had a mere 14 days to bring the film to fruition, a testament to their dedication, resilience, and unwavering passion for storytelling.
In my conversation with Tonesa, we discussed the significance of her sharing her own story, particularly as a young Black woman. Tonesa highlighted the importance of reclaiming her narrative and challenging stereotypes and emphasized that telling her story is about empowerment and inspiring others. Her commitment to authenticity and inclusivity underscores the need to amplify diverse voices and broaden our understanding of the stories that shape our world.
“Because people have so many different perspectives of women in the streets, and they think we are always behind the man, and that's not always true. I just wanted to show people how it happened, how I made it through it and made it out, and what I'm doing now. I'm working on me. I'm helping other people, and I want people to see that from me,” said Tonesa.
“I was given a second chance, and that's what I want to do. Once I left the prison doors, I said I'm not ever coming back here. I'm not ever living that life again. So that's why it's important because people get you stuck in that box, and I'm not that person anymore, especially as Black women. We're so multi-dimensional. There's so many different sides to us and everyone does try to fit us in one box or put us in one stereotype.”
Vivica delved deeper into her role as a director, providing us with valuable insights into her unique approach. “I’m an actor’s director. I would know when my actors were filming if they weren't giving it to me. If we needed pacing, that's the beauty of having a director who is an actor as well,” she stated. Vivica emphasized her hands-on approach, often running lines with the cast to ensure a strong connection and delivery.
The executive producer, Tressa Smallwood, echoed these sentiments, highlighting the added value of working with a director who is also an accomplished actor. “You almost kind of get an acting coach because your director has been there,” Tressa explained. This synergy between the director and actors served to elevate the overall quality of the performance, creating a rich and dynamic storytelling experience.
Life after prison can be challenging, but Tonesa has been actively contributing to her community since her release. She works with women who are incarcerated or about to be released, helping them transition back into society. Through her support and guidance, Tonesa helps these women navigate reentry and rebuild their lives. “It's so important because when I came home from prison, I didn't have all the resources. So now I've learned about all these resources that are available to women. It was a lot of things for men but not for women.” she explained. “I love talking to the women. I love giving them hope because, coming from there, you don't have any hope. You don't believe in yourself. That's what we're here for. We got to pull our sisters up.”
It's crucial to emphasize the significance of Black women in the industry finally having the opportunity to share our stories in our own way. “Now we're having an era where especially Black women are sticking together and telling our stories. It's us telling our stories truthfully so that our audience will know our true story.” Vivica said.
“I think a lot of that also comes with being in a different time whereas Black women, we're able to be in ownership and in leadership positions where we have the say about the stories that we want to tell, and we didn't typically have that years ago,” Tressa adds.
The stories we tell and the voices we amplify have the power to shape our world, and the work of the First Lady of BMF: The Tonesa Welch Story team exemplifies this. Tonesa's journey from incarceration to community service is a testament to her resilience. It's a reminder that everyone has a story to tell and that those stories are richer and more powerful when they are told by the people who lived them. As we move forward, let’s continue to uplift and support the voices of Black women in the industry and celebrate the progress that has been made while acknowledging the work that still lies ahead.
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Feature image courtesy of First Lady of BMF: Tonesa Welch Story
