Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List
One of the things I've always loved about being a woman is the level of exploration that comes with our bodies and discovering what feels good. When it comes to coming, many of us have found and mastered clitoral orgasms, especially ones derived from self-pleasure. And while vaginal orgasms might feel more elusive to most women (studies show only 25 percent of women experience orgasms consistently during vaginal penetration), you might be surprised to learn that orgasms don't have to be either or, they can be blended too.
Vaginal and clitoral orgasms are among the most common orgasms, but sex experts suggest that there are actually 12. A blended orgasm is exactly what it sounds like -- an orgasm that is experienced from the stimulation of two or more types of orgasms. What makes these orgasms even more sought-after is how intense they feel.
According to sex therapist Dr. Donna, LICSW, M.ED, blended orgasms can be achieved by stimulating the parts of your body that are most prone to giving you an orgasm. "The most common way to get the blended orgasm is to stimulate the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time for a blended orgasm. BUT there are all types of orgasms, including anal, nipple and cervix. Some combo examples of blended orgasms include g-spot/clit; nipple/clit; nipple/g-spot; if you are into a good eargasm, then that can be added into the nipple, clit, g-spot, anus, etc. combos," Dr. Donna explained.
"Really, the possibilities are nearly endless."
My personal favorite? A one-two combo that consists of kissing (yes, you can orgasm through kissing alone) and clitoral stimulation, but I've also been able to achieve blended orgasm from a mix of g-spot/clit (especially in the spooning position, oh my God). My most recent experience with a blended orgasm involved me on my back with my legs open and his body positioned hovered above me with an adept knee placed at my wet heat.
The experience was new to me, but I used his outer thigh to rub my clit against while we kissed. And maybe it was our mutual high from the weed we smoked minutes before, but my senses were heightened and I was on fire. He drank my moans of ecstasy as I began to fall from the edge, crashing down with electric heat. The end result is galvanizing.
When you have an orgasm, you sometimes don't believe it can get any more intense than it already is, but it does. And it can.
What Is A Blended Orgasm & How To Have One
When You’re Solo Dolo...
The perfect segue into blended orgasm territory during your self-pleasure sessions is by using a toy that can stimulate the hit the g-spot and clit all at once. To do so, Dr. Donna recommends utilizing a rabbit, or a toy like it (I recommend this one -- thank me later). "Plus, it will leave a hand free to stimulate your nipples and breasts."
As with anything pertaining to sexual pleasure, a great baseline or foundation for having orgasms is discovering the hot spots you have through masturbation. I always say that it's difficult to teach a student lessons when you haven't learned the curriculum yet yourself, and that sentiment rings so true in the bedroom. "Know your own body so that you can teach your partner(s) how to get you there. Then experiment with the other types of stimulation and see what combos you can string together."
And once you know yourself and what gets you off like the back of your hand, you're ready for our next pointers.
When You’re Coupled Up...
Of course, adding a partner (or partners) will amplify the playing field, in addition to providing more methods to meet your blended peak. Dr. Donna suggests the use of toys here too - specifically toys that stimulate your clitoris while your partner puts in the work of bringing pleasure to your g-spot, anus, nipples, lips, or anywhere else that brings you to your climax.
As for optimal sex positions, Dr. Donna notes doggy style as a real crowd-pleaser for the blended orgasm prize. "I would say doggy style gives the best g-spot access while not interfering with toy use, or your partner can reach around and stimulate the clitoris. Reverse cowgirl is also a great position for stimulating multiple areas at once," she continued.
Equipped with these tips, you'll master the art of blended orgasms in no time at all. I know I did.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
How To Achieve A Simultaneous Orgasm
My First Orgasm Gave Me The Best Sex Of My Life
Self-Pleasure Changed How I Experience Sex
Featured image by Shutterstock
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorney and a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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