Broken Heart Syndrome - Yes, It's A Real Thing
A 70-year-old woman with no history of a heart condition was admitted to the hospital for near collapse and chest discomfort that occurred when she was informed that her husband of 45 years had died. After careful monitoring, her scans came back normal and she was discharged. A follow-up appointment three months later was also normal. She has no memory of the entire hospitalization but continues to grieve for her husband.
It is inevitable that we'll all experience loss in our lifetime: the loss of a loved one, a family member, a painful breakup, or a beloved friend. The pain of losing someone we love is so profound that it has been studied by medical researchers for years.
Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is the medical term for what is known as "Broken heart syndrome." It's associated with severe emotional or physical stress that contributes to some physical ailments felt during and after a loss. Stress cardiomyopathy, as the condition is also called, is brought on by severe emotional or psychological trauma such as the ending of a relationship, love affair, death, and even divorce. In its most extreme cases, the temporary heart muscle failure could result in death.
The symptoms of broken heart syndrome are similar to those of a heart attack. You may have difficulty breathing, chest pain, lack of concentration, and sweating. If you've experienced loss and your heart is hurting, it could mean that your brain is trying to tell you something.
Pain is our body's way of signaling that something is wrong. When you lose someone you love, your body goes through psychological and physiological distress when they leave your life. One of the highest searched terms on Google is "how to get over a breakup."
Luckily, I have a few helpful tips to help combat a broken heart.
Get your feelings out.
Sad Pauly D GIF by A Double Shot At Love With DJ Pauly D and VinnyGiphyWhat typically happens when you feel a memory of your ex is that you try to forget it, deflect from it, or suppress it. Even though it seems harmless in the moment, your body can store these memories as stress and certain triggers can cause adverse effects. Instead of dismissing them, try expressing how you feel. This way, you externalize what's bothering you and move it from the inside, out.
Recognize your triggers.
Emotional triggers are anything that spark a negative response from you regardless of your current mood. Common triggers can include a song on the radio, seeing their name somewhere such as a file in your office or on social media, seeing their car, or a certain smell such as his cologne.
It's important to know what triggers you because these reminders are what cause you to act impulsively like going down the rabbit hole of their social media or the new person they're dating, sending a long text message that you literally have to convince yourself to send AGAINST your better judgment or even driving by their house or places you know they frequent.
Find a support system.
Hugs GIF by Pitch on FOXGiphyBreakups are hard and some days it hurts so bad that it's a feat just to get out of bed, let alone put on a brave face for the world, and this is exactly why you need support. A network of friends, even if they're people you've never met, can be a source of encouragement where you are free to express your true feelings, no matter how bad it gets. Oftentimes, our instinct is to retreat in solitude, but having an outlet with like-minded individuals can be helpful.
Ultimately, you must decide whether to work things out on your own or to seek the help of a professional. Either way, finding a strategy to help you cope with the loss of your relationship is the first step to getting over a broken heart.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Also known as The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw for her relentless love of shoes and emotionally unavailable men, DeJa K. Johnson is unapologetic in her pursuits to find love, happiness, and orgasms. A graduate of UA Little Rock, DeJa earned a Master's degree in Applied Communication with an emphasis on Interpersonal & Romantic relationships. She is also the founder of TheBreakupSpace.com, a safe space for men and women who need help getting over the loss of a romantic relationship. To connect, you can find her on all social media @TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw or send her an email to love@TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com.
Meet The Designer Behind This Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" Video Look
When Megan Thee Stallion dropped “Hiss,” a shift happened. From the audacious lyrics to the striking visuals, there was no doubt that the song and video would go viral. The opening of the video shows the H-town hottie rocking a barely there Shibari red dress, showing off her voluptuous frame. It was a sexy moment created by Timeekah Murphy of Alani Taylor. The designer exclusively tells us how the opportunity came about and what it was like seeing her design on Megan for the first time.
Timeekah Murphy
Photo courtesy
xoNecole: How did the opportunity to create such an iconic look for Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" video come about?
Timeekah Murphy: The opportunity came from a DM from celebrity stylist Zerina Akers. She asked for a unique Shibari piece for Megan, and I needed to get it done in two days. So, of course, I did everything in my power to make it happen. I've always wanted to design for Megan, so this was an awesome opportunity for me.
xoN: What was that initial feeling of seeing the dress on her for the first time?
TM: I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
xoN: Did you meet her? If so, how was that moment?
TM: I didn't meet Megan during the shoot, but during my time in LA, I got the opportunity to meet her at LA Pride with Tiffany Haddish, Common, and EJ King (stylist). Megan is such an amazing person, so it made it even better to know that my designs were going to be worn by her. I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
"I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her."
Photo courtesy
xoN: Walk us through the creation of the dress. How did you come up with the look, and how long did it take to make it?
TM: I was the co-designer for a brand called Deviant in 2018-2020, and we used to make custom Shibari pieces. That's how Zerina knew me. So I'm very familiar with making these types of pieces. We made plenty for Beyoncé, Cardi B, Tiffany Haddish, Tyra Banks, and so many others. So Zerina knew exactly what she wanted.
To get it done, it took me a day and a half. It's very intricate and time-consuming, so I spent about six hours making it then I sent an image of it to Zerina, and she didn't approve the first one, so I had to start from scratch again after getting my guidance and understanding of what was needed. The next day, I went to The Lab and created another version, and she approved it. I had to get it shipped overnight so that she would get it in time and fast forward to seeing it on the big screen.
xoN: What's next for you?
TM: Everything. The sky is not my limit, so the Alani Taylor brand is expanding into so many different avenues. We are getting involved in the community more, offering sewing classes to the youth. I've opened up a store for my brand in Atlanta and now preparing for fall/winter Fashion Week.
Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" video/ YouTube
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I love working in media; more specifically, I love being a writer and editor in the media space. It allows me to use my skills to tell riveting and relatable stories that can be useful for readers. Working at xoNecole has allowed me the freedom to tell those stories on a grander scale, and seeing the response from our readers gives me the greatest pleasure, and it lets me know that we are doing something right.
It’s been 11 years since I embarked on a career in journalism. I’ve worked at a variety of outlets, some freelance and some full-time, and have discovered so many facets of the industry. So, would you be surprised if I told you that I never saw this career in the cards for me?
When I recall my years in school, there were two subjects I always loved: History and English. History because I just loved learning about different cultures, religions, and the world before I arrived and English because I loved to write. I enjoyed writing assignments, and my teachers would always tell me how good of a writer I was. In my spare time, I enjoyed reading magazines and began writing poetry and songs about love and heartbreak (y’all remember how intense high school romances were).
I took journalism as an elective and was even on the Yearbook staff. However, when it came down to choosing my college major and a possible career, media/ journalism was nowhere on my radar. I loved writing, but was it a career? Could I make money from it?
Throughout my matriculation, I changed my major a few times. I mean, I knew I wanted to do something creative, but what? I finally settled on journalism only because I knew I enjoyed writing, and at that point, I needed to choose something and stick with it. But even with the fun class projects and internships, I still didn’t believe journalism would be my career path. However, I was good at it, and I was networking with others in the industry. So, after graduating, I worked other jobs but continued writing. Finally, I got my big break as an editor, and I haven’t looked back since.
Looking at my journey, you can say that being an editor was divine, and maybe I was running from it. A lot of us are taught to find a steady career that pays well, and baby, I always saw myself living large. But I was always a creative, and I knew that I wanted a career path that would allow me to express myself.
While you can have a lucrative career in media, a lot of people don’t, and with the current layoffs that started at the top of this year, it’s even scarier to think of the future of this industry. However, to not be obsolete, writers and editors must stay ahead of the curve and be open to change. No one should be able to tell you that you can’t turn your passion into your profession.
If you’re interested in becoming an editor or learning about the media industry, join my writers’ workshop on Feb 20 by clicking the link here.
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Feature image by Milan Markovic/ Getty Images