I'm weird. I own that. One of the reasons why I say that because I'm definitely the kind of person whose idea of a good time is chillin' on my couch and reading a book. At the same time, whenever I do go out, I wouldn't exactly call myself a wallflower. Most of my friends trip over how easy it is for me to meet a stranger and have them tell me their entire life story in seven minutes or less.
That's why, if I had to choose between whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert, I'd have to say it's about a 60/40 split in favor of being introverted. Matter of fact, some of the personality tests that I've taken have told me that I am an extroverted introverted. Or, as a recent test revealed, I am an ambivert. What the heck is that? In a nutshell, it's someone who doesn't totally identify with being an extrovert or an introvert; there are things about you that are a spot-on reflection of both.
While, on the surface, it might seem like this relatively new term is indicative of most of the population, a lot of reputable therapists believe that only about 20 percent of the population are true ambiverts. That's because other traits of ambiverts are their nervous system is highly intuitive, they can handle the extremes of various personalities and situations pretty well, and they are relatively good listeners and speakers too.
If in your mind, you're thinking that this sounds more and more like you but you're still not totally sure, I've got five other pretty telling signs that an ambivert is exactly what you are.
You Love a Good Party—to a Point
I'm the kind of person who can go to a concert or party and not only hang out but entertain those around me for a couple of hours. Then suddenly, without much warning, I'm totally over it and ready to go. It's like the energy got totally sucked out of me and I can't wait to get home and recharge—alone.
If this made you be like "Yeah, me too!" then you just might be an ambivert. Because you're able to cultivate a rapport with those around you, it's hard for you to process people as casual or background noise. You tend to make connections, whether you're looking to or not. That's why, after a little while of being around so many of them, you're ready to bounce.
You Hate Small Talk. You're All for Meaningful Conversations.
I can totally relate to this one. Another indicator of being an ambivert is small talk doesn't make much sense to you. That's why, if someone calls you about making plans, you might prefer to text. Or, if someone at the office is saying a lot of nothing, you find yourself getting irritated.
On the other hand, if someone has a real problem or even if you're looking for some advice, you can find yourself chopping it up in a coffee shop for three hours without even noticing the time. Anything that involves emotions, empathy, and growth, you're all about it. Niceties? Not so much.
You Can Handle Attention but You'd Prefer to Observe
When you receive a compliment, you say "thank you." When you're selected to present something to the staff at work, you shine. A man you're interested in strikes up a conversation and you're more than capable of holding his attention. What this all boils down to is you're very comfortable with getting attention. But if you had to choose, you'd rather walk into a room and observe people's energy and actions for a while. Some experts define this as being "situational introversion" because while you may enjoy being relatively quiet at a nightclub, you might go to a seminar and be the star of the show.
That's another thing about ambiverts—they lean towards being extroverted in learning environments but oftentimes are pretty introverted anywhere else. They engage growth. Entertainment? They can take it or leave it.
You're a Social Equalizer
Since an ambivert is so good at observing the energy and body language of those around them, they also have the reputation for being the ultimate kind of equalizer. If they are around someone who is super chatty, their ability to listen can help to calm that kind of person down. Or, if they're around someone who is really shy, their desire to make a true connection will help to bring them out of their shell.
For an ambivert, doing this doesn't require a lot of forethought or even effort. It basically comes very naturally to them.
You're Drawn to Creative, Counseling or Management Positions
And just what kind of job would be fitting for an ambivert? Anywhere that having this kind of personality doesn't seem odd or strange. Professions where they are given just the kind of space that they need to thrive.
Off the bat—the solitude that comes from being a creative (or entrepreneur), the empathy that comes along with being a life coach, counselor, or therapist; even the ability to see all sides that comes with being an effective manager or supervisor.
If you've been researching what it means to be an introvert and extrovert for a while now, but this is the first time you've read something that made you feel like you've finally found your fit, congrats! Welcome to the wonderful—and relatively small—world of being a bonafide ambivert.
How's it feel?
Featured image by Getty Images.
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