What Exactly Is An Ambivert? How Can You Tell If You Are One?
I'm weird. I own that. One of the reasons why I say that because I'm definitely the kind of person whose idea of a good time is chillin' on my couch and reading a book. At the same time, whenever I do go out, I wouldn't exactly call myself a wallflower. Most of my friends trip over how easy it is for me to meet a stranger and have them tell me their entire life story in seven minutes or less.
That's why, if I had to choose between whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert, I'd have to say it's about a 60/40 split in favor of being introverted. Matter of fact, some of the personality tests that I've taken have told me that I am an extroverted introverted. Or, as a recent test revealed, I am an ambivert. What the heck is that? In a nutshell, it's someone who doesn't totally identify with being an extrovert or an introvert; there are things about you that are a spot-on reflection of both.
While, on the surface, it might seem like this relatively new term is indicative of most of the population, a lot of reputable therapists believe that only about 20 percent of the population are true ambiverts. That's because other traits of ambiverts are their nervous system is highly intuitive, they can handle the extremes of various personalities and situations pretty well, and they are relatively good listeners and speakers too.
If in your mind, you're thinking that this sounds more and more like you but you're still not totally sure, I've got five other pretty telling signs that an ambivert is exactly what you are.
5 Signs You're An Ambivert
1.You Love a Good Party—to a Point
I'm the kind of person who can go to a concert or party and not only hang out but entertain those around me for a couple of hours. Then suddenly, without much warning, I'm totally over it and ready to go. It's like the energy got totally sucked out of me and I can't wait to get home and recharge—alone.
If this made you be like "Yeah, me too!" then you just might be an ambivert. Because you're able to cultivate a rapport with those around you, it's hard for you to process people as casual or background noise. You tend to make connections, whether you're looking to or not. That's why, after a little while of being around so many of them, you're ready to bounce.
2.You Hate Small Talk. You're All for Meaningful Conversations.
I can totally relate to this one. Another indicator of being an ambivert is small talk doesn't make much sense to you. That's why, if someone calls you about making plans, you might prefer to text. Or, if someone at the office is saying a lot of nothing, you find yourself getting irritated.
On the other hand, if someone has a real problem or even if you're looking for some advice, you can find yourself chopping it up in a coffee shop for three hours without even noticing the time. Anything that involves emotions, empathy, and growth, you're all about it. Niceties? Not so much.
3.You Can Handle Attention but You'd Prefer to Observe
When you receive a compliment, you say "thank you." When you're selected to present something to the staff at work, you shine. A man you're interested in strikes up a conversation and you're more than capable of holding his attention. What this all boils down to is you're very comfortable with getting attention. But if you had to choose, you'd rather walk into a room and observe people's energy and actions for a while. Some experts define this as being "situational introversion" because while you may enjoy being relatively quiet at a nightclub, you might go to a seminar and be the star of the show.
That's another thing about ambiverts—they lean towards being extroverted in learning environments but oftentimes are pretty introverted anywhere else. They engage growth. Entertainment? They can take it or leave it.
4.You're a Social Equalizer
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Since an ambivert is so good at observing the energy and body language of those around them, they also have the reputation for being the ultimate kind of equalizer. If they are around someone who is super chatty, their ability to listen can help to calm that kind of person down. Or, if they're around someone who is really shy, their desire to make a true connection will help to bring them out of their shell.
For an ambivert, doing this doesn't require a lot of forethought or even effort. It basically comes very naturally to them.
5.You're Drawn to Creative, Counseling or Management Positions
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And just what kind of job would be fitting for an ambivert? Anywhere that having this kind of personality doesn't seem odd or strange. Professions where they are given just the kind of space that they need to thrive.
Off the bat—the solitude that comes from being a creative (or entrepreneur), the empathy that comes along with being a life coach, counselor, or therapist; even the ability to see all sides that comes with being an effective manager or supervisor.
If you've been researching what it means to be an introvert and extrovert for a while now, but this is the first time you've read something that made you feel like you've finally found your fit, congrats! Welcome to the wonderful—and relatively small—world of being a bonafide ambivert.
How's it feel?
How's it feel?
Featured image by Getty Images.
Related Articles:
How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence As An Introvert - Read More
An Introvert's Survival Guide To Going Out Alone - Read More
5 Ways To Overcome Depression As An Extrovert - Read More
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage