Quantcast

10 Men Told Me What They Truly Find Sexy In A Woman

"Sexy" is definitely not one size fits all...

Love & Relationships

Damn. When I hit up some guys in my social sphere so that they could tell me about a trait that they think makes a woman sexy, about 70 percent of them started with a sigh followed by the word "damn". When I asked them to expound, most of them said something along the lines of, "'Sexy' is such a vast word that it can be hard to narrow it down to just one thing." When I asked them to try (middle names were used), below are the 10 things that they put on record.


The reason why I thought it was important to share with all of you is because, let IG models and OnlyFans (le sigh) tell it, sexiness is one-dimensional. As you're totally about to see, though, when it comes to what men — Black men — find to be sexy (hot, sensual, alluring, provoking, arousing, appealing and even glamourous), there is actually so much more to it than what the media constantly wants us to believe.

"Sometimes a woman's voice is all that you need."

Getty Images

Devin, 28, Single.

"There's a woman I know who isn't physically my type at all. But I can listen to her for hours because her voice is so smooth and sensual. She's also got a hella vocab which means she's intellectual. She's also really articulate. Yeah, a nice voice with something to say can get me, almost every time."

"I'm all about natural beauty."

Getty Images

Justice, 33, Married.

"I think it's crazy that it's gotten to the point where some women are triggered when a man says that he prefers natural hair, minimal make-up and a real body. What is wrong with y'all? Anyway, that's what's sexy to me."

"I like a woman who is so comfortable with herself that she doesn't feel the need to rely on any 'extras'. Again, if that bothers you, I think something is up with that. A man who likes the way God created a woman is one of the greatest compliments there is."

"Thickness. Lawd."

Getty Images

Orion, 40, Single.

"I guess I'm the anti-Kevin Samuels guy in the sense that, HELL NO, I don't want some skinny chick. I like a grown woman and, to me, she comes with all kinds of curves. And when she has a sway in her hips when she enters a room? She's got me mesmerized on all kinds of levels. If you haven't had the pleasure of being with a woman who's got curves all over, you haven't truly lived. Straight up."

"High heels, in just about anything, please."

Getty Images

Aden, 35, Married.

"I really love a woman who is into shoes. No, high heel shoes — the higher the better. It's very feminine to me. It also makes her legs look really long and she comes off as extremely confident. One of my favorite things is when I come home and my wife has literally nothing on but a new pair of pumps that she's bought. Forget lingerie. That's all I need right there."

"I like a woman who f--ks with herself."

Getty Images

Tomeo, 24, Single.

"Damn. 'Sexy' is one helluva word. The first thing that comes to my mind is a woman who f — ks with herself. She's comfortable in who she is. She's not constantly switching up to please other people. She's levelheaded and balanced. She's unapologetically unique. So many women look like other women these days. A woman whose style and energy stand out is really sexy."

"A happy woman is sexy AF to me."

Getty Images

Evin, 38, Divorced.

"A big part of what ended my marriage is my wife was a pessimist. It's like she was constantly looking for something to complain about."

"I didn't know it when I first got married but I know it now — a woman who is optimistic, solutions-oriented and is a 'light'…damn, that is sexy. A woman with a great sense of humor, can laugh at my flaws and mistakes as well as her own and doesn't take things too seriously? It truly doesn't get much sexier than that."

"Being down for whatever is sexy."

Getty Images

Torance, 27, Engaged.

"I'm thinking that women have heard this before, but it can't be said enough — no man wants to initiate sex all of the time. Just like women want to feel wanted and desired, men do too. My fiancée is naturally sexy in the way that she moves. She's very… 'sleek' is the word that comes to mind. She just kinda glides into a room and glides out. That's sexy. But what I really like is she has a libido that damn near supersedes mine. She loves sex. She loves to explore sex. And she has no problem letting me know when and how she wants me. I was pretty out here before her. Since she's come into my life, I'm good."

"Short hair. Dressed up. Takes care of herself...that chick is sexy."

Getty Images

Bernard, 46, Single.

"I've always been a sucker for a woman with really short hair. A part of it is because I like necks. I also think it makes a woman appear really sure of herself, like she doesn't have to hide behind hair to feel beautiful. And then if she's got on a dress that hugs her curves, some high heels and some really nice nails? A woman like that sends the message that you've got to come to her correct because she puts energy into her appearance. When I know that she's gonna make me 'work for it'…yeah, that's sexy."

"'Zen' women are sexy."

Getty Images

Nelson, 42, Divorced.

"Women who send the message, 'I come to you in peace' are sexy to me. No drama. Very centered. Talks about things like reading books, going on walks and meditating. It might sound boring to some people, but I think this kind of woman is sexy because she prioritizes her peace of mind and when you know that she likes peace in her space, that means she doesn't want anyone or thing disrupting it. That kinda lady can get all of my time. Whew."

"Women who wrap themselves up like the gift that they are is sexy."

Getty Images

Zeke, 31, Single.

"I wish more women knew that we like to see them in lingerie outside of sex. Going to bed in sexy stuff…hell, watching TV in sexy stuff is such a teddy is such a turn-on."

"Some women might roll their eyes or whatever but, contrary to popular belief, seeing a beautiful woman in lingerie isn't always about wanting to have sex. Sometimes we just sit back and take it all in, especially when we're really into 'her'. A woman in lingerie, for no real reason, is like looking at a present that is all wrapped up — you want to see what's inside, but you really can just sit and admire everything for a while too."

"The woman I see right now has such a huge collection that I know she thinks she's the s — t. It reminds me to treat her that way…often. Sexy. Sexy."

Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.

Featured image by Getty Images

Before Naturi Naughton captured audiences as Tasha in Power and even before she played Lil Kim in the Biggie Smalls biopic Notorious, the actress was in the girl group 3LW. The group 3LW, which stood for 3 Little Women, composed of Naturi, The Real's Adrienne Bailon and BET Presents: The Encore's Kiely Williams, and they had many hits including "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" and "I Do (Wanna Get Close To You)."

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Have you been prioritizing the needs of others over your own? Feeling stretched thin as a result? This month's Full Moon in Aries will ensure that you start putting yourself first. It's about time, Queen! Deep down you know it's overdue. In astrology, the Full Moon is a period of reckoning, manifestation and culmination. You are likely to find yourself on a fast track to resolution or closure when it comes to the people, relationships and situations that have been putting an unnecessary strain on your mind, body and spirit.

Keep reading... Show less

Ever since Chlöe and her sister Halle Bailey have been creating their own identities outside of their group Chloe x Halle, Chlöe has faced Beyoncé comparisons. Modeling her performance style after Beyoncé is no surprise since both Chlöe and Halle are signed to the "Formation" artist's label Parkwood Entertainment and so there's no doubt Queen Bey has influenced them in more ways than one.

Keep reading... Show less

While it's important that we're always proactive about taking care of our immune system, if there is any time of year when we tend to think about it more than usual, it's right when the fall season arrives. Cold weather has something to do with it. Cold and flu cases spiking have something to do with it. Wanting to make sure that we stay well enough so that we can enjoy some holiday time off probably plays a role in it too. And while things like rest, exercise and not smoking all help to keep our immune system healthy and strong, it's important to know how much diet plays a part in all of this too.

Keep reading... Show less

Y'all. Y'ALL. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to get a humidifier (which is basically an electronic device that helps to put humidity into the air). The main reason why is because I read an article that said that COVID thrives in low humidity. I'll get into that in a second, though. Anyway, what I thought was going to be a quick trip up the street ended up being a day-long endeavor because I had to go to four different stores and all of them had inventory issues. Most said it was because of the labor shortage that's been happening all over the country.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Adrienne Bailon Wants Women Of Color To Take Self-Inventory In Order To Redefine Success

"You can't expect anyone else to care about yourself like you do."

Latest Posts