
7 Things 'We Should All Be Millionaires' Taught Me About Adopting A Millionaire Mindset

xoNecole's I Read It So You Don't Have To is a recurring series of self-discovery that breaks down self-help books into a toolkit of takeaways and tips that are meant to assist you in finding the best life you can live. Take what works for you, and leave everything else where it is.
Since we first started to count, women have been indoctrinated into thinking we are inherently bad with money. When it comes to women and finance, there is a recurring theme: women are large, careless spenders. The vocabulary employed in commercials and periodicals, as well as in television and cinema, all reference this idea. Men learn how to generate money, while women learn how to spend it. Just like that. Therefore, it is understandable why women think they are unsuccessful at accumulating wealth given this deeply ingrained notion.
But contrary to what its marketing team has led us to believe, we can accumulate wealth, and earning seven figures in the next five years is not impossible. We only need to put in the hard work. Let's examine the book, We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers in this subsequent reading for the "I Read It, So You Don't Have To" series.
As always, take from this reading what you need, and leave the rest where it is.
1.Unlearn the Limiting Beliefs You Have About Earning More Money
Dispelling the idea that you can't be a millionaire because you spend money carelessly is the first step to securing the expansion of your empire. The next step is acknowledging the real reasons you have not become a millionaire. One of these reasons is obvious, patriarchal America was not built, and is not functioning, to ensure the success of Black women. It is working even less to ensure that Black women of the LGBTQ community and even plus-size women don't succeed. The final step is to acknowledge that despite those reasons, your potential to earn is solely determined by you.
Women routinely accept payment that is less than what they are worth, provide their skills for free, fear the discomfort of failing others, fear the discomfort of saying no, lack boundaries, and constantly prioritize the needs of others before our own. No matter which of these reasons is preventing you from achieving your financial goals—or if there is another factor at play—you must stop deceiving yourself about your financial difficulties and determine the truth of your bank account.
2.If You Want To Be Wealthy, Make Decisions Like a Millionaire
Make a choice as to how you will fulfill your desire to become a millionaire. You must start making million-dollar decisions if you want to get wealthy. To do this, you must comprehend what you really want, what you ought to be doing, and how you plan to get there. Make million-dollar decisions by using the "We Should All Be Millionaires" acronym below.
Want: What are your objectives? Check-in with your own inner wants instead of searching out other people's perspectives. What would you choose to do if you knew that every decision you made would lead to the intended result?
Should: When you think about your decision, what "should" come to mind? What should you do, in your opinion, to succeed? Do you actually believe these things, or are these just others' beliefs?
Action: What action are you going to do to move in the right direction? Identify the first two or three steps that must be taken to succeed.
Body: What do you think about doing this? How do you feel about this? Are you feeling energized? Or does it make you anxious? Is it somewhere in the middle? Since your body is the best judge of who you are, listen to it and use it to guide your decision.
More: How would this choice or course of action help you achieve more? What will this option allow you to have more of? This will become your primary reason to keep going when you feel discouraged or unmotivated. What advantages would this decision give you?
3.Manage Your Time Like a Millionaire by Creating Boundaries
You cannot have a thriving net worth and be popular with everyone. So, let go of the institutionalized people-pleasing. The plain fact is that women perform the majority of work across all fields, particularly in domestic tasks. This hinders our ability to accumulate riches. Not to mention, women are treated unfairly in the workplace. These pervasive cultural problems involving women's work result in weariness, depression, and a sense of inadequacy.
Therefore, to protect yourself from the feeling of never being enough and the mistreatment of others, establish boundaries that are clear to all parties. Say yes to what you want and no to everything else. After all, setting boundaries without enforcement will only result in the same outcomes.
4.Build a Team That Supports Your Millionaire Mindset
Build a squad! You are the people you choose to be around. Find a community of people that share your values and inspire you, then start interacting with them. You can discover new strategies and tools to support your millionaire habits within this new community that you might never have thought of or wouldn't have known without access to it. Not only that, but others who belong to this group may become contacts or even friends who can help you open doors to new chances. If the community you desire does not exist, create it yourself.
Nobody succeeds alone, despite what some people would have you believe. Because of your full-time job, interests, hobbies, relationships with family and friends, and, well, sleeping, time can be the largest obstacle to you generating wealth. Create your own team to reclaim your time. Hire a professional assistant to assist you with a variety of tasks for a few hours each week. By doing this, you can free yourself some time to investigate your financial objectives without the pressure of having to handle everything by yourself. Do not overthink this procedure or convince yourself that it is merely a waste of money.
To assure your ultimate financial and time freedom, figure out how much you can afford to pay for the support. Keep in mind that occasionally spending money is necessary to make money.
5.Determine Your Vision and Value To Achieve Success
What kind of life do you envision? What are your objectives? Make them compelling by being specific, specific, and appealing. Make your goals interesting since it is what motivates innovation, zeal, and action. The four steps that determine your visions are:
- List the improvements you'd like to make to various elements of your life;
- Carry out the necessary calculations so that you have a realistic understanding of the costs;
- Come up with 25 ideas for boosting your income quickly;
- Decide on the first improvement you'll make.
Think carefully about the millionaire version of yourself. Then, start acting like that now (without going into debt).
After choosing the concept that will help you raise your earnings, understand your worth. The price of women's imposter syndrome is in the millions. In order to advance in their careers or recognize their genuine worth, women who have imposter syndrome frequently work for free, at reduced rates, or without receiving any compensation. They do this while they wait for someone to recognize their efforts.
Decide on your worth instead, and set your prices accordingly. Set a price for your concept and multiply it by two. When offering your goods or services, accept nothing less.
6.Create an Effective Money Management System
Scarcity breeds more scarcity, and trying to live on a shoestring budget will only make you unhappy. Therefore, if you want to become a millionaire, you don't need to cut back on that daily latte or monthly subscription. Instead, create effective systems, rather than goals. Goals are helpful for giving direction, but systems are helpful for actually moving forward. Create a system to keep an eye on your finances. Avoid outsourcing your money management and decision-making; take charge of them yourself.
Set up a strategy to keep tabs on your credit score, daily spending, and net worth. Consider doing some investigation and setting up a business company and business bank account. Quit listening to those who tell you to wring every last penny out of your paycheck or who whine about your debt. Instead, recognize that in order to compete in the global market, you will periodically need to go into debt and work additional hours in order to increase your earning potential.
7.Start Building Your Millionaire Empire
Now that you have all the tools at your disposal, follow Nike's motto and "Just Do It." Find out what it's like to be able to earn money whenever you want. So, set a 10-day goal for yourself to earn a certain amount of money. What precise sum do you ask? Imagine you have ten days to obtain a certain amount of money for a crucial bill or expense. Write down this amount and increase its total by 30%. In 10 days, you want to have this number in your bank account. If this number is not high enough for you, try participating in WSABM's $10,000 in 10 days challenge.
Pro Tip: If you can afford it, join the We Should All Be Millionaires: The Club. For anyone prepared to build wealth, this club is your online community classroom. Regardless of what is standing in your path to being a prosperous millionaire, this club, which is devoted to seeing you succeed, provides a vast array of tools, educational and training programs, live weekly coaching, and a squad that can assist you in becoming the success you know you are capable of being.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Daniel de la Hoz/Getty Images
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Recently, a client and I were discussing the fact that she really missed her husband. Yes, they are together and yes, they share the same home and bed. They even have a pretty consistent (and fulfilling) sex life. The issue is that she is missing a certain kind of intimacy: kissing.
As I asked her to expound further, she basically said that, with both of their schedules being so tight, and with them also both knowing “which buttons to push” in order to get each other off, they hadn’t been losing themselves in foreplay like they used to — and one of her favorite parts of that is kissing. I get it. Kissing is endearing. Kissing is romantic. Kissing is also sexy AF. Few things can compare to a really good kiss, y’all. Whew.
That said, you should PayPal her for the inspiration that she provided when it comes to me penning this article because, with Valentine’s Day being on the horizon, I personally don’t know if the art of kissing is mentioned nearly enough because a day that is filled with well-placed and purposeful kisses? It doesn’t get much better than that.
And so, here it is. If you want to express how deeply you care for someone special this year, although dates and coitus are awesome, please don’t underestimate the power of a really good kiss. Especially an erotic kiss.
I’ll explain.
Why Do We Like to Kiss So Much?
Kissing is a big deal to me. I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Y’all, it’s so crucial over this way that I once stayed in a relationship longer than I probably should’ve because the kissing (and sex while kissing; that’s an unsung art too) was so damn good. Hmph. I also (finally) ended a relationship that had some good points because the guy was HORRIBLE at kissing (especially kissing during sex; I’m not alone on this either. I once read that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women ended things with someone because they sucked at kissing).
And while I was sitting down to pen this, both of those situations got me to wondering why we (well, at least most of us — check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”) enjoy kissing so much. Sure, it feels good but there’s got to be more behind why most of us are totally down for a passionate kiss — anytime, anyplace.
Well, from a research standpoint, first there’s the fact that our lips are some of the most sensitive parts of our body, thanks to the abundance of nerve endings that are in them. That is actually a part of the reason why lips are considered to be such a powerful erogenous zone. Then there are some scientists who say that kissing is what helps us to literally “sniff out” and select potential partners. How? Well, since scent helps to arouse pheromones and, next to sex, kissing is about as close as you can get to someone else; when you really stop to think about it, that makes all of the sense in the world.
Then there’s saliva. The hormones and compounds in it actually help the brain to process who may be a complementary fit (including who you would be a good match to conceive children with — wild, right?). There’s even a study that revealed that the reason why men are quicker to want to French kiss— you know, kissing with tongues touching — than women (typically) is due to their higher testosterone levels; ones that, in a kiss, can help to heighten a woman’s libido.
Plus, some data states that the love/bonding hormone known as oxytocin increases during a kiss which causes us to feel closer to the person who we are kissing. Also, kissing can increase the feel-good hormone dopamine in your system, which is why the act oftentimes creates warm-‘n-fuzzy feelings whenever you’re sharing a smooch. So, when it comes to science, it is quite apparent that an intimate kiss isn’t just…a kiss.
How Kissing Benefits You
Okay, so now that you know why a kiss is able to draw you in from a science standpoint, let’s briefly touch on what some of its health benefits are. Were you aware of the fact that kissing helps to:
- Decrease stress and anxiety
- Strengthen immunity
- Soothe headaches and cramp discomfort
- Lower allergy reactions to pollen and dust mites
- Improve cholesterol levels
- Increase blood flow
- Reduce tooth decay
- Tone your facial muscles
- Burn calories
- Improve self-esteem
Yep, every time that you lean in for an intimate kiss, it’s not just good for your mental and emotional well-being, your physical health is able to get in on the benefits too. And then, if it’s an erotic kiss? LISTEN.
What Is an “Erotic Kiss”?
So, what exactly is the difference between a kiss and an erotic kiss? Let’s start with what erotic actually means. Something that’s erotic is sexy. Something that’s erotic is sensual. Something that’s erotic is passionate. Something that’s erotic is amatory which means that it’s directly related to sexual love. Something that’s erotic is romantic, steamy, and hella seductive. And so, if you’re going to give someone an erotic kiss, it must be with these words — and this type of energy — in mind.
Let’s keep going. When I was reading Well + Good’s article, “These 19 Kissing Types Prove Lips Can Do Way More Than Just Pecks,” kisses like pecks, closed-mouth kisses, and kisses on the hand, in my mind, definitely didn’t “scratch the itch” when it comes to what an erotic kiss is and does. To me, French kisses, kisses on the neck (including hickeys), and kisses on your favorite erogenous zones fit the bill far more.
Why? Because a kiss that ultimately stimulates sexual activity — that is what an erotic kiss is all about and as I was doing more research on the topic, do you know what seemed to be a common thread? If you want to be a master at erotic kissing,the tongue needs to be heavily involved. Why is that?
Well, a kiss that involves the tongue is sexiest by far because, when the tongue is used, it helps to increase your and your partner’s sensory stimulation levels. When this happens, even more nerve endings are involved and that, along with what the exchange of saliva brings to the table — whew, chile.
Then there’s the fact that — well, let’s not act like tongue kissing doesn’t mimic intercourse in some ways. Mouths are wet. We (as women when we are aroused) are wet. Tongues penetrate mouths. Penises penetrate us. And doing an act simulates a peak intimacy one, that is definitely EROTIC (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”).
So yeah, y’all, if you want to engage in a truly authentic erotic kiss, tongue action needs to happen: kissing in the mouth and involving your tongue and also using your tongue to kiss, lick, enjoy other areas as well — earlobes, collar bones, shoulders, backs…and…anywhere else that stimulates you (and your partner). Make sure it’s hot. Make sure it’s lust-filled. Make sure it’s memorable.
How to Be an Unforgettable Erotic Kisser
Providing you with some facts about kissing wasn’t the only reason why I wanted to pen this, just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s also because, as I’ve said in a couple of other articles before, there is such a thing as a kissing orgasm — and if you’ve never experienced one before, there is certainly no time like the present to do so…and (probably) the best way to get there is through an erotic kiss.
And here’s the thing: Even though an erotic kiss is sho ‘nuf a gateway drug to oral sex and intercourse if you want to get a bit more creative, there is data to back up that you can have an orgasm without your breasts or genitalia being (directly) involved. A kiss — the right kind of kiss — can make that happen too; especially if you follow the following five tips:
1. Go slow. Even though I’ve always found the phrase “make out” to be sort of corny, it does kind of fit when it comes to this article. You know, I’ve shared before that when it comes to the average time that most people want to spend experiencing intercourse, it’s 7-13 minutes; however, something that is both sweet and sensual about making out is, because there is not “set goal” (like an orgasm), there also is no rush. You’re kissing and enjoying each other, pretty much “just because” — and that is a great basis for experiencing an erotic kiss. Just soaking in your partner’s presence. No more, no less.
2. Work your “muscle.” By here, I mean your tongue, everyone (LOL). Gently. Seductively. Intentionally. And get creative too. This tip is not just about the classic French kiss. Lick lips. Lick earlobes. Lick necks. Find ways to use your tongue to turn your partner on without bringing genitalia into the picture as well. Yeah, there’s no doubt that one of the reasons why an erotic kiss is so supreme is because it finds places beyond the obvious to cultivate — not just sexual stimulation but emotional intimacy as well.
3. Enhance the “flavor.” I’m always going to be a fan of sex condiments (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”) and y’all, kissing with a bit of honey or chocolate syrup on your lips? Need I say more? I think not.
5. “Dance.” Something that I don’t think is said enough is kissing is a lot like dancing. There is a “rhythm” to it. Without speaking, couples are communicating. And the longer you do it, all the while paying attention to what your partner is doing, a signature groove can be found. While writing this, I thought about the best kisses I’ve ever had in my life and definitely what made them memorable is the fact that my kissing partner wanted me to really and fully experience them and I felt the same — and the more that happened, the more intensified the kissing got. Wanna have the ultimate erotic kiss? Treat it like a dance, chile.
5. Be in the moment. Then stay there. An erotic kiss is a lot like orgasmic meditation (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) in the sense that both encourage you to get into the moment and then stay there. There’s no pressure. There’s no agenda. There are simply two sets of lips and tongues and nothing but time. Erotic kissing simply encourages you to take full advantage of this fact.
___
An author by the name of Sylvia Plath once said, “Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” I’ve always liked that quote because it’s got so much confidence in it. She basically said that one kiss from her and you’ll grasp just how significant, to you, she actually is. And gee, won’t that preach?
This Valentine’s Day, kiss your partner with that kind of resolve in mind.
Take it up a notch by making sure that it’s erotic.
It’ll be hard to forget you or this Valentine’s Day if you do.
I can damn near guarantee it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy