xoNecole's I Read It So You Don't Have To is a recurring series of self-discovery that breaks down self-help books into a toolkit of takeaways and tips that are meant to assist you in finding the best life you can live. Take what works for you, and leave everything else where it is.
Since we first started to count, women have been indoctrinated into thinking we are inherently bad with money. When it comes to women and finance, there is a recurring theme: women are large, careless spenders. The vocabulary employed in commercials and periodicals, as well as in television and cinema, all reference this idea. Men learn how to generate money, while women learn how to spend it. Just like that. Therefore, it is understandable why women think they are unsuccessful at accumulating wealth given this deeply ingrained notion.
But contrary to what its marketing team has led us to believe, we can accumulate wealth, and earning seven figures in the next five years is not impossible. We only need to put in the hard work. Let's examine the book, We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers in this subsequent reading for the "I Read It, So You Don't Have To" series.
As always, take from this reading what you need, and leave the rest where it is.
1.Unlearn the Limiting Beliefs You Have About Earning More Money
Dispelling the idea that you can't be a millionaire because you spend money carelessly is the first step to securing the expansion of your empire. The next step is acknowledging the real reasons you have not become a millionaire. One of these reasons is obvious, patriarchal America was not built, and is not functioning, to ensure the success of Black women. It is working even less to ensure that Black women of the LGBTQ community and even plus-size women don't succeed. The final step is to acknowledge that despite those reasons, your potential to earn is solely determined by you.
Women routinely accept payment that is less than what they are worth, provide their skills for free, fear the discomfort of failing others, fear the discomfort of saying no, lack boundaries, and constantly prioritize the needs of others before our own. No matter which of these reasons is preventing you from achieving your financial goals—or if there is another factor at play—you must stop deceiving yourself about your financial difficulties and determine the truth of your bank account.
2.If You Want To Be Wealthy, Make Decisions Like a Millionaire
Make a choice as to how you will fulfill your desire to become a millionaire. You must start making million-dollar decisions if you want to get wealthy. To do this, you must comprehend what you really want, what you ought to be doing, and how you plan to get there. Make million-dollar decisions by using the "We Should All Be Millionaires" acronym below.
Want: What are your objectives? Check-in with your own inner wants instead of searching out other people's perspectives. What would you choose to do if you knew that every decision you made would lead to the intended result?
Should: When you think about your decision, what "should" come to mind? What should you do, in your opinion, to succeed? Do you actually believe these things, or are these just others' beliefs?
Action: What action are you going to do to move in the right direction? Identify the first two or three steps that must be taken to succeed.
Body: What do you think about doing this? How do you feel about this? Are you feeling energized? Or does it make you anxious? Is it somewhere in the middle? Since your body is the best judge of who you are, listen to it and use it to guide your decision.
More: How would this choice or course of action help you achieve more? What will this option allow you to have more of? This will become your primary reason to keep going when you feel discouraged or unmotivated. What advantages would this decision give you?
3.Manage Your Time Like a Millionaire by Creating Boundaries
You cannot have a thriving net worth and be popular with everyone. So, let go of the institutionalized people-pleasing. The plain fact is that women perform the majority of work across all fields, particularly in domestic tasks. This hinders our ability to accumulate riches. Not to mention, women are treated unfairly in the workplace. These pervasive cultural problems involving women's work result in weariness, depression, and a sense of inadequacy.
Therefore, to protect yourself from the feeling of never being enough and the mistreatment of others, establish boundaries that are clear to all parties. Say yes to what you want and no to everything else. After all, setting boundaries without enforcement will only result in the same outcomes.
4.Build a Team That Supports Your Millionaire Mindset
Build a squad! You are the people you choose to be around. Find a community of people that share your values and inspire you, then start interacting with them. You can discover new strategies and tools to support your millionaire habits within this new community that you might never have thought of or wouldn't have known without access to it. Not only that, but others who belong to this group may become contacts or even friends who can help you open doors to new chances. If the community you desire does not exist, create it yourself.
Nobody succeeds alone, despite what some people would have you believe. Because of your full-time job, interests, hobbies, relationships with family and friends, and, well, sleeping, time can be the largest obstacle to you generating wealth. Create your own team to reclaim your time. Hire a professional assistant to assist you with a variety of tasks for a few hours each week. By doing this, you can free yourself some time to investigate your financial objectives without the pressure of having to handle everything by yourself. Do not overthink this procedure or convince yourself that it is merely a waste of money.
To assure your ultimate financial and time freedom, figure out how much you can afford to pay for the support. Keep in mind that occasionally spending money is necessary to make money.
5.Determine Your Vision and Value To Achieve Success
What kind of life do you envision? What are your objectives? Make them compelling by being specific, specific, and appealing. Make your goals interesting since it is what motivates innovation, zeal, and action. The four steps that determine your visions are:
- List the improvements you'd like to make to various elements of your life;
- Carry out the necessary calculations so that you have a realistic understanding of the costs;
- Come up with 25 ideas for boosting your income quickly;
- Decide on the first improvement you'll make.
Think carefully about the millionaire version of yourself. Then, start acting like that now (without going into debt).
After choosing the concept that will help you raise your earnings, understand your worth. The price of women's imposter syndrome is in the millions. In order to advance in their careers or recognize their genuine worth, women who have imposter syndrome frequently work for free, at reduced rates, or without receiving any compensation. They do this while they wait for someone to recognize their efforts.
Decide on your worth instead, and set your prices accordingly. Set a price for your concept and multiply it by two. When offering your goods or services, accept nothing less.
6.Create an Effective Money Management System
Scarcity breeds more scarcity, and trying to live on a shoestring budget will only make you unhappy. Therefore, if you want to become a millionaire, you don't need to cut back on that daily latte or monthly subscription. Instead, create effective systems, rather than goals. Goals are helpful for giving direction, but systems are helpful for actually moving forward. Create a system to keep an eye on your finances. Avoid outsourcing your money management and decision-making; take charge of them yourself.
Set up a strategy to keep tabs on your credit score, daily spending, and net worth. Consider doing some investigation and setting up a business company and business bank account. Quit listening to those who tell you to wring every last penny out of your paycheck or who whine about your debt. Instead, recognize that in order to compete in the global market, you will periodically need to go into debt and work additional hours in order to increase your earning potential.
7.Start Building Your Millionaire Empire
Now that you have all the tools at your disposal, follow Nike's motto and "Just Do It." Find out what it's like to be able to earn money whenever you want. So, set a 10-day goal for yourself to earn a certain amount of money. What precise sum do you ask? Imagine you have ten days to obtain a certain amount of money for a crucial bill or expense. Write down this amount and increase its total by 30%. In 10 days, you want to have this number in your bank account. If this number is not high enough for you, try participating in WSABM's $10,000 in 10 days challenge.
Pro Tip: If you can afford it, join the We Should All Be Millionaires: The Club. For anyone prepared to build wealth, this club is your online community classroom. Regardless of what is standing in your path to being a prosperous millionaire, this club, which is devoted to seeing you succeed, provides a vast array of tools, educational and training programs, live weekly coaching, and a squad that can assist you in becoming the success you know you are capable of being.
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?Giphy
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?Giphy
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an OrgasmGiphy
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for YouGiphy
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy