We Asked 6 Influencers To Share The Why Behind Their Style Aesthetic
What's a fashion uniform? It's your everyday armor that helps you slay every room you walk into. It's your trademark aesthetic. It's what makes you, YOU.
Everyone has their own appreciation of beauty and that's what makes fashion so intriguing. Finding your signature style takes time and intention. What do you want the world to see when they see you strutting down the street? Because it's no secret that your style speaks for you do. Wise woman, Alanna Nicole, gave some amazing advice for women searching for their very own unique style that sets them a part from everyone else. "Experiment, live boldly and ignore what anyone else says! For me, if someone is wearing the most outrageous or the most simple and chic outfit, once they are wearing it with unwavering confidence, I admire them so much," she shared with us.
When you think about your favorite fashion icons, you immediately think about their staples and what makes them unique. There's a thing that separates them from the rest. We all need that thing. The right outfit can make you feel like Beyonce on your worst day. So, we decided to gather some dope, stylish women and ask them about their trademark aesthetic.
xoNecole loves a good lewk and we love it even more when it's draping on an ebony goddess. If you're ever in need of instant inspo, these are your girls.
Jennifer Ogumbor-Larbi
Photo Courtesy of Jennifer Ogumbor-Larbi
Age: 30
Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada
Blog/Website: The Jeneralist (www.thejeneralist.com)
Instagram: @thejeneralist
"I pull a lot of inspiration from European street style and pop culture but my style is generally inspired by the places I've been and the people I've met. I realized at a young age that being boxed into a single category of any sort was a limitation I did not like and developed my aesthetic based on that. If I had to choose one word to describe my style, it would be 'dynamic'.
"You might catch me in muted/neutral tones in the middle of summer and in a bright yellow monochromatic look in the middle of winter. I love that I am not limited in style because there are days when I wake up feeling super feminine and others when I feel like rocking a fun tomboy-ish chic look. Sometimes, it's a quirky mix between the two. Regardless of what I'm wearing, I love wearing lipstick and throwing in some fun accessories to help complement and/or elevate my look.
"My style may be undefined but it's certainly a representation of who I am and the dynamic range that I possess. My advice to women searching for their own unique style is to do what works for YOU and have fun with it."
Vic Styles
Photo Courtesy of Vic Styles
Age: 33
Location: New York
Website:www.VicStyles.com
IG:@TheVicStyles
"What I wear is your introduction to who I am before I ever open my mouth. I tend to choose clothes that reflect my lifestyle and personality: mostly sustainable, comfortable clothing, I'm always in a hat, and I love color. Color sets the mood. I think my style fits the woman that I am, it is ever-evolving like I am."
Jessica Pettway
Photo Courtesy of Jessica Pettway
Age: 31
Location: Los Angeles
Blog/Website:https://www.youtube.com/JessicaPettway
Instagram:@jessicapettway
"My style is a literal illustration of my personality, chill with a bit of spunk. I look for pieces that are super functional and sustainable. An oversized thrifted blazer paired with a pair of faded denim and skinny sandals is my aesthetic. It's that effortless, cool girl vibe."
Shannae Ingleton Smith
Photo Courtesy of Shannae Ingleton Smith
Age: 38
Location: Toronto
Blog/Website:TorontoShay.com
Instagram:@TorontoShay
"For me, I like a combination of comfort and slayage (if that is even a thing?). I love high-waisted pants and denim. After having a baby, nobody is trying to see my stomach and a high-waisted pants keeps everything in. Pair that with a statement heel or a dope top, and I feel like a million bucks. I love wearing items that are different. I like to call those pieces 'conversation starters' because people stop you and ask you where you got it from. I find fashion is a great way to connect with others and break the ice in new situations. Rocking sneakers with a suit or a dress is another great combo. For me, I like doing things that are a bit out of the box, but slays at the same time."
Alanna Nicole
Photo Courtesy of Alanna Nicole
Age: 24
From: London, England
Blog/Website:www.alannanicolex.com
Instagram:@alannanicolex
"EVERYTHING inspires my style! Colors are my main source of inspiration – from seeing other peoples' color combinations, to furniture and buildings. I definitely try to take advantage of the surroundings that I'm in and allow them to fuel my style. Because of that, my style changes quite often! Last year, I was obsessed with loud monochrome looks and wild pattern mixing. But this summer, I've been really inspired by interior design. My looks have been more driven by soft pastel colours, which are more whimsical. I also take tons of inspiration from Barbados, where I grew up! Many of my tattoos are of flowers and plants that you can find there – the Pride of Barbados and palm trees! Since I'm there quite often to see my family, I also use the ocean and tropical climate to inspire my looks while there and at home in London!
"My #1 staple is definitely earrings! Since massive statement earrings became widely available two years ago, I jumped on that bandwagon and have never looked back! Since my hair is quite large, having earrings that can still be the star of the show is an amazing way to elevate my look! Also, shoes! I've always been a crazy shoe girl and absolutely love to have colorful and bold shoes on."
Nekiah Torres
Photo Courtesy of Nekiah Torres
Age: Grown
Location: Arizona
Blog/Website: From the Rez to the City
Instagram:@reztothecity
"Coming up with my aesthetic definitely didn't happen overnight. It took years! Initially, I would just find stylish people and copy them but the more I matured, I knew that had to change. I realized that personal style required authenticity because it signifies a considerable amount of self-knowledge. I had to get comfortable with my nontraditional looks and accept the fact that I was never going to look like the individuals I was copying, I had to dress for ME! When putting together looks, I always ask myself: 'What is my message to the world? What am I trying to express through my wardrobe choices?' My answer is: in order to be authentically me, I must always feel POWERFUL! So, my trademark aesthetic is CONFIDENCE and I love it because I love ME!"
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Featured image courtesy of Jessica Pettway
Originally published August 22, 2019
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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A Therapist Breaks Down The Internet's Fixation On The Black Cat-Golden Retriever Dynamic
In the realm of love and relationships, there's a growing interest in the idea of opposites attracting. This concept is gaining traction on platforms like TikTok, where users explore how different personality types interact in romantic partnerships. One popular comparison is between the "golden retriever" and "black cat" archetypes.
According to Urban Dictionary, the golden retriever, typically portrayed by men, embodies a relaxed and friendly demeanor, making relationship maintenance seem effortless. These individuals are described as easygoing, patient, loyal, socially adept, and optimistic. On TikTok, many women are intrigued by the prospect of finding partners with these qualities.
In contrast, the black cat, often represented by women, leans towards introversion and independence. They're mysterious, quiet, and introspective, preferring to be pursued rather than doing "the chasing" in relationships.
@annakrstna Replying to @BeckyAmi part II coming soon❤️ #femmefatale #blackcat #blackcatenergy #dating #marriage #datingadvice #princesstreatment #feminine #feminineenergy #relationship #sprinklesprinkle #celebrity #femininenergy #love
This dichotomy reflects the anxious-avoidant attachment dynamics in psychology (pursuer-distancer cycle), where one partner seeks closeness (golden retriever) while the other values autonomy (black cat).
The Black Cat Golden Retriever Archetypes & Attachment Styles
Attachment theory suggests that early caregiving experiences shape our attachment styles, influencing how we relate to others. Anxious individuals seek reassurance, while avoidant individuals prioritize independence. However, not every instance of the black cat/golden retriever dynamic indicates underlying insecurities. Individuals can embody these personas without necessarily being insecure or exhibiting unhealthy attachment patterns.
For instance, a golden retriever's desire for closeness may come from a secure attachment style, rooted in self-worth and trust in others. Conversely, a black cat's preference for autonomy doesn't always indicate avoidance; they may simply value their independence, and it's relatively easy for them to connect and disconnect when needed. Understanding these dynamics requires personalized individual/couples assessment, ideally with a licensed therapist.
The Black Cat Golden Retriever Roles in Relationship Success
A prevailing notion in this discussion that's sparked a lot of conversation is the idea that when a woman takes on the role of the golden retriever in a relationship with a black cat partner, the dynamic is more likely to fail. (I've experienced this firsthand, even in my own past relationships, and I've seen it play out in my own life.) Conversely, when the roles are reversed, the relationship tends to thrive. But why does this happen?
Historically, men have been socialized to take on the role of the pursuer, while women are expected to be more passive recipients of romantic advances. From a biological standpoint, some researchers argue that evolutionary instincts may play a role in shaping mating behaviors. Evolutionary psychology suggests that men may be inclined to pursue potential mates to maximize their reproductive success. This perspective suggests that men may have evolved to seek out partners and compete for their attention and affection.
@annakrstna Replying to @Tina Kaur #love #dreamgirl #beauty #relationship #dating #datingadvice #femmefatale #feminineenergy #desire #obsession #darkpsychology #sprinklesprinkle #femininity #psychology #selflove
Additionally, societal expectations and cultural norms can heavily influence gender roles and relationship dynamics. From a young age, boys may be socialized to take initiative, assert themselves, and pursue their romantic interests actively. On the other hand, girls may be encouraged to adopt more passive roles, waiting for suitors to express interest or make romantic gestures.
As much as there's a lot of conversation about gendered expectations and societal norms, it's crucial to recognize that these expectations aren't universally applicable. Not all individuals adhere to traditional gender norms, and people express a wide array of behaviors and preferences in romantic relationships. Research indicates that attitudes towards pursuit and courtship have evolved over time and differ across cultures.
In today's society, there's a growing recognition of the significance of mutual consent, communication, and reciprocity in romantic relationships. Many individuals, irrespective of gender, prioritize egalitarian principles and seek partnerships founded on mutual respect, understanding, and collaborative decision-making.
The Black Cat & The Problem With 'Acting' Secure in Dating
Delving deeper, there's a growing conversation surrounding the distinction between acting secure and authentically embodying security in relationships. True security stems from a deep-rooted sense of self-assurance and a healthy understanding of one's needs and boundaries. Secure individuals don't feel compelled to mask their vulnerabilities or play games to attract a partner; they attract healthy relationships by being genuine and self-assured.
Contrastingly, attempting to mimic secure behavior without addressing underlying insecurities can lead to relational pitfalls. Pretending to be nonchalant or aloof may initially attract a partner, but it ultimately creates a façade that crumbles under the weight of emotional triggers and unresolved attachment wounds.
Authenticity and vulnerability form the bedrock of secure relationships, fostering trust and mutual understanding.
Most importantly, whether you identify as a black cat or a golden retriever in relationships, it's best to find someone who genuinely loves you for who you are. Connect with people who appreciate you instead of engaging in games or "acting secure," because even secure individuals have vulnerabilities and weaknesses. People need to see the real you to truly connect with you.
Transitioning from acting secure to being secure requires introspection and self-awareness. Here are some tangible tips to cultivate genuine security in relationships:
1. Reframe Your Beliefs About Love and Relationships:
Challenge any negative beliefs or misconceptions you may hold about love and relationships. Recognize that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and compatibility, rather than scarcity or desperation.
Cultivate a mindset of abundance, believing that there are plenty of opportunities for meaningful connections and fulfilling partnerships; you just have to be the person you want to attract and refrain from entertaining anything less.
2. Develop Self-Confidence:
Invest in building your self-confidence and self-worth independent of external validation or romantic relationships. Foster a sense of independence and autonomy in your life. Develop interests, goals, and aspirations that are separate from your romantic relationships, and invest in your personal growth and development. Engage in activities and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don’t abandon those hobbies just because you met someone new or you’re in a new relationship.
3. Set Realistic Expectations:
Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on yourself or your partner in relationships. Recognize that no relationship is perfect, and both partners will inevitably experience challenges and setbacks. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on building a strong foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and communication. Embrace the ups and downs of relationships as opportunities for growth and learning.
4. Emotional Regulation:
Develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing emotions and navigating conflict constructively. Prioritize self-care and cultivate resilience in the face of challenges.
5. Practice Patience and Acceptance:
Understand that finding a compatible partner and building a fulfilling relationship takes time and patience. Avoid rushing into relationships out of desperation or fear of being alone. Trust in the process and have faith that the right person will come into your life at the right time. Practice acceptance of yourself and others, recognizing that everyone has their own journey and timeline when it comes to love and relationships.
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Featured image by Amber N Ford/Getty Images