Everyone grieves in their own way so recovery times will look different to different people. While one person may be ready to re-enter the dating scene after a few short weeks, it could take several months for someone else. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology suggests that it only takes three months to see the positive aspects of a breakup, but I've successfully helped my clients in as little as 30 days move past their pain.
The important thing is to remember to do what feels best for you. Unfortunately, I've also seen cases when people unnecessarily suffer for too long. So, how long does it take to get over a breakup? And what can you do to start feeling better today? Hopefully, you'll find these 5 tips to be helpful in shortening your recovery time so you can start feeling like yourself again.
1.Perform a cleansing ceremony.
GiphyThe burning of sage or other herbs, (also known as smudging), is an ancient ritual of purification derived from the Native American culture. This practice is sacred in most Native communities, thus it should be employed with proper knowledge, respect, and intention. I would recommend using sage from an ethically obtained source such as an herbalist or native gatherer and research the history of this tradition before lighting up.
2.Rearrange your space.
GiphyThe tradition of feng shui focuses on arranging the pieces of your living space in a way that creates balance and harmony. Feng shui is a Chinese term that literally means "wind and water," both naturally occurring phenomena. Thus, feng shui is thought to be a free-flowing art form that is akin to ideas of abundance, balance, and tranquility. It offers a unique way of viewing the Earth's elements to provide a more inviting environment.
Similar to the Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy, nature replenishes empty spaces. Practitioners of feng shui believe we have the power to create positive shifts in our lives using personal belongings in our homes. The entryway to your home is a great starting point. Spruce it up by removing excess clutter, updating your welcome mat, or adding more light to create more vibrant energy in this space.
3.Social detox.
Social Media Goodbye GIF by HollyoaksGiphyWhen you go through a breakup, the first few days can be overwhelming so the first thing you need to do is maintain a safe distance from your ex. One way to do this is by creating social distance, and I'm not just talking six feet, here. I mean more along the lines of a social detox. Delete old pictures and text messages from your phone and put them on block. And don't forget to unfriend them on social media so they're not popping up in your timeline. You can always re-follow them later.
4.Reflect on the lessons.
GiphyThis is something I always suggest to my clients — a moment to reflect on the relationship and not just the good parts. Most people fail to realize the opportunity that a breakup brings to redirect their energy and focus towards personal development. No one likes the pain that comes from heartache, but it can be a catalyst for creating the life and love that you desire.
5.Give your bedroom a makeover.
GiphyIf you shared a bed with your ex, then you may find it hard to resist sleeping on their side of the bed, hoping to get one last whiff of them. And right now, the last thing you need is a reminder of that one time the two of you...well, you know. So what's a quick fix for this? New bedding. Believe it or not, a simple task such as updating your linens can do wonders for your mood. Switch things up by upgrading your thread count, adding new decorative pillows, a comfy duvet cover, or might I suggest bamboo sheets.
Reclaim your space with a mini-makeover in your bedroom. These small changes can be a catalyst for embracing your newfound freedom.
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Her captivating command of the pole left many of us intrigued, perhaps even tempted, to explore pole dancing ourselves after witnessing the mesmerizing performances at Mercedes Sunday. But it wasn’t just her physical prowess that kept us hooked. Mercedes is a character of depth—empowering, complex, relatable, and deeply human.
These are qualities that Brandee embodies both on and off the screen.
(L-R) Marque Richardson and Brandee Evans on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
A Memphis native, Brandee is no stranger to dance. She boasts an impressive career as a choreographer, having worked with renowned artists like Katy Perry, Monica, Ke$ha, and Ledisi. But while it has been a significant part of her journey, Brandee has her sights set on more—expanding her acting career beyond dance-inclusive roles. This ambition nearly led her to pass on the opportunity to appear alongside Kerry Washington in Hulu’s UnPrisoned, where she plays Ava, Mal's (Marque Richardson) new girlfriend.
“When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no,” Brandee revealed with a laugh. “She mentioned pole dancing, and I told myself and my team that once I was done with Mercedes, I wasn’t going to do that again.” Fortunately, Washington assured her that the role would be vastly different, leading to what Brandee described as an invaluable masterclass in comedy under the guidance of Washington herself.
“Kerry is a force of nature,” Brandee reflected. “She’s everything you’d hope she’d be—strong, compassionate, and incredibly talented. Working with her was like a masterclass in acting.” This opportunity was no mere stroke of luck; it was something Brandee had manifested years earlier. But make no mistake–she credits her faith and praying hands for her success. “I’m praying, you know what I mean? I’m asking God for what I want and working for it too,” she said.
"When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no."
(L-R) Brandee Evans, Kerry Washington, and Marque Richardson on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
This role marked Brandee’s first foray into comedy, and while she was eager to embrace the challenge, she found herself in the hands of an incredible mentor. “Kerry was always so kind in her critiques,” Brandee noted. “She’s not a diva by any means. She knows exactly what she wants, but she’s gentle and encouraging in bringing it out of you. That’s something I’ve taken with me to other sets—I want to lead with the same kindness and openness that Kerry showed me. It’s a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Brandee speaks with profound respect and gratitude for her peers and fellow actresses as many have shown her genuine sisterhood and support in an industry often notorious for its competitiveness. “Danielle Brooks sent me a prayer the other day, and I was just so touched. Those are the moments that people don’t see,” she shared. “I call Sheryll Lee Ralph my fairy godmother, and Loretta Devine is like my auntie. Being able to pick up the phone and seek advice from these incredible women is a true blessing.”
And she pays it forward.
Brandee Evans
Courtesy: Hulu
But her commitment to supporting others extends far beyond her career. As an advocate for health and wellness, she empowers women to prioritize their well-being. “Azaria [Carter], who plays my daughter on P-Valley, mentioned wanting to start a weight loss journey and get more fit. I told her, ‘Well, let’s work out together,’” Brandee recounted. But her dedication to healthy living goes beyond physical fitness, encompassing a holistic approach to wellness. “When she came to my house and tried to microwave something in plastic, I said, ‘Let’s use glass instead. At 20, I wasn’t thinking about that, but let me share some tips now so you’re not battling fibroids in your 30s.’”
Because she was.
While filming the first season of P-Valley, Brandee faced enormous stress—not only as a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but also due to the physical demands of the role. Yet the impact on her body was far greater than she expected. “I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal,” Brandee revealed. It was Harriet D. Foy, who plays her mother, who urged her to get checked for fibroids.
"I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal."
Brandee Evans graces the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony.
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
The statistics are staggering—80% of Black women develop abnormal uterine growths by age 50, making them more likely to suffer from fibroids than any other racial group. But like many, Brandee was initially unaware of these growths and their debilitating effects, and the prospect of surgery was daunting. “I was scheduled to have a myomectomy on my birthday, but I thought about what it would mean for my career. How am I going to climb the pole? The healing process is similar to a C-section.” Determined to avoid surgery, she committed to healing herself naturally.
After a deep dive, she sought treatment at The Herb Shop of Vinings in Atlanta, which ultimately led to a remarkable recovery. “This man saves lives. His name is Jeff, and I call him my doctor.” Brandee shared. “I started detoxing my body with herbs and following his program. During my follow-up with the gynecologist, they said, ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but your fibroids are shrinking.’”
Emerging on the other side of this journey not only fibroid-free but with a regulated cycle and a renewed outlook on life, Brandee is now focused on sharing her story and advocating for women’s health. “I know y’all want to hear about P-Valley, but I want to talk about regulating your period,” she said with a laugh.
Of course, she didn’t leave fans hanging when it came to what to expect in the upcoming season. “It is worth the wait. The world is about to go crazy. Oh, the world is about to lose it,” Brandee teased. “Y’all might be mad at us right now, but baby, it’s going to be worth it.”
All episodes of Season 2 of UnPrisoned are now streaming on Hulu.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu
For the record, bowel movements should also have the consistency of toothpaste and resemble the shape of your intestines. Something less frequentor harder (or dryer) can be a sign of constipation.
Ah, yes, constipation. What exactly causes this type of health-related issue that affects roughly four million Americans on an annual basis? Dehydration, a poor diet (including low fiber and/or too much fat or sugar), a lack of exercise, certain medications, and a drastic change in one’s lifestyle due to things like pregnancy or aging can all play a role. That’s why it’s important to pay close attention to the consistency of your own bowel movements along with a shift in your daily habits. If you discover that you are constipated, there are some simple things that should be able to bring you some much-needed relief before relying on a laxative or enema.
If, after trying these 10 suggestions, you don’t see a change within a week or so, make an appointment to see your doctor. Sometimes constipation can be connected to an underlying health condition, and either way, toxins filling up your system is only going to make you feel increasingly — pardon the pun — crappy.
Anyway, here are some natural ways to (hopefully) feel better in no time.
Jeffrey Coolidge
1. Leave Dairy Alone
Did you know that the proteins found in cow’s milk have the ability to literally slow down your bowel movements? Not only that, but since dairy can also cause inflammation in many people, that’s another reason why it can make it difficult for you to poop on a consistent basis. If you add to that the fact that more medical professionals are speaking out about the saturated fats and link to heart disease, acne, and even cancer that dairy can trigger in your system, you are far better off either reducing your dairy intake or (at least) going with a milk alternative from time to time. Oat milk is a personal fave of mine. Ironically, one reason why is because it’s a good source of fiber, something that we all need in order to stay regular.
2. Up Your Probiotic Intake
There are so many reasons why it’s a good idea to take a probiotic on a consistent basis. One of them is it keeps your gut in good condition while your body is processing your foods. Another? It helps to shorten the time that it takes for your colon to do its thing. The end result is you having less of a chance of becoming constipated; especially if you are pregnant or you are currently taking medications that have constipation as a side effect. Again, a probiotic supplement is bomb; however, you can also eat foods that are rich in probiotics too. Some of those include fermented foods like yogurt, pickles, fermented olives, cottage cheese, and pickled onions.
3. Take an Omega Supplement
As someone who has a cocktail of vitamins that I consume on a daily basis, I prefer to take them at night. One reason is so I can sleep through any minor discomfort that the combination may potentially cause my stomach (for instance, I take a gentle iron supplement that likes to show out sometimes). Another is because I can always tell the difference between when I take my evening primrose oil supplement and when I don’t.
Most definitely, when there is an oil that lubricates your system for a few hours, that can help having a number two a lot easier for you. The reason why I shouted out an omega supplement, specifically, for this is because it also contains properties that help to decrease bodily inflammation. A win all the way around.
Creative Photography
4. Drink Some Lemon Water
It honestly can’t be said enough that 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated. That’s problematic as hell because your body needs fluids in order to keep your hormones balanced, give your organs the oxygen that they need, lubricate your joints, moisturize your skin and hair, produce saliva and moisture for your eyes, and so much more — including helping your system to properly digest your food and get rid of waste.
The reason why lemon water is a fan fave for many is because not only does water help keep your intestines in good working order, but lemon juice contains the antioxidant vitamin C; thus lemon water has the ability to actually pull more water into your gut. If the lemon water is hot, that’s even better. Hot water has a reputation for making the digestive process easier on your body (drink this before going to bed in order to get the best results).
5. Sip on Some Slippery Elm Tea
If you’re a fan of herbal teas (check out “10 'Uncommon' Teas You Should Add To Your Stash (& Why)”), you’ve got to add slippery elm tea to your stash. For one thing, it’s great for soothing a sore throat or healing a cough. It also has a solid reputation for working as a mild diuretic and reducing symptoms related to heartburn as well as ones that are associated with irritable bowel disease (IBD). That’s because it contains antioxidants and other properties that coat your intestines, again, making it easier for you to have bowel movements.
6. Or an Apple and Banana Smoothie
If you’ve always heard that fiber helps to keep you regular yet you’ve never really known why, probably the quickest and easiest way to explain it is fiber has a way of increasing both the weight and size of your bowel movements while making them softer (and therefore, easier to pass) too — and hey, the fewer toxins that are in your system, the less of a chance that you will be diagnosed with colon cancer up the road (because fiber has been proven to be a preventative carbohydrate in that lane).
That’s why it can be a good idea to indulge in a homemade smoothie that’s made from a highly fibrous fruit like apples and/or bananas (or berries, avocados, pears, kiwi, or mango) a couple of times a week. Just make sure to not overdo it as far as fiber is concerned. In this case, too much of a good thing can also result in bloating, gas, and yes, constipation. Twenty-five grams a day for women (and 38 grams a day for men) will get you just what you need.
Daniel de la Hoz/Getty Images
7. Do Some Yoga
Aside from some changes that you can make in your diet, there are some lifestyle tips that can be helpful for you as well. For one thing, if you don’t already do yoga yet constipation is an issue for you, so why not give it a shot? Not only does it help to reduce stress, and all of the twists and turns that your body goes through to get into certain positions, it can also help to “manipulate” (in a good way) your intestines so that you can have bowel movements more easily. Ones like the half-spinal twist and cobra pose (which you can see here) are directly attributed to making going to the bathroom a smoother process for you.
8. Give Yourself a Colonic Massage
There is nothing like a good old-fashioned massage. Well, when constipation is an issue, consider giving yourself an abdominal or colonic massage. When it comes to a colonic one, specifically, it’s beneficial because it can help to relieve gas, reduce intestinal blockages, and get rid of the abdominal fluid that could be the underlying cause of why you’re so constipated.
Another tip? If you apply some fennel oil (along with a carrier oil like rosemary) to your abdominal region and massage your lower tummy in circular motions, two or three times a day, that can help to bring constipation relief within a couple of days. You can watch a video on how to properly perform a colonic massage here.
9. Shift Your Posture (on the Toilet)
As a doula, I’ll never understand why (some) doctors will encourage women to try and push out their babies while being on their backs. My running statement for that is, “Who has a bowel movement while lying on their back?”. And that is the main point here. If what you’re experiencing is an occasional bout of constipation, try shifting your posture a bit while you’re on the toilet.Leaning forward, tilting your hips at a 60-degree angle, orputting your feet on a footstool (so that your knees are higher than your hips) are all positions that can help you to poop faster and easier.
10. Chew Some Sugar-Free Gum
If this is your “something new” for the day — hey, I totally get it.Word on the street is that if you chew on some sugar-free gum, it could help to “get things moving” sooner.The method behind the madness is this type of gum contains the ingredient sorbitol which acts as a mild laxative. The main things to keep in mind with this “hack” is 1) you will probably have to chew more than one piece to get results, and 2) you shouldn’t constantly rely on this because too much sorbitol could also cause diarrhea.
But if you like to chew gum and you also apply a few of these other tips at the same time, there’s a pretty good chance that constipation will be a thing of the past. So, get to — again, pardon the pun — moving on them, sis.
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