12 Investment Staple Pieces To Base Your Wardrobe Around
I like to put my money right where I can see it: in my closet. While I try to be intentional about how I spend my money, I also feel like there are certain pieces I must have in my wardrobe that make a statement. From time to time, that statement is considered an investment. Thee Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter once said, "I don't like to gamble, but if there's one thing I'm willing to bet on, it's myself." Well ladies, if you're looking to rebuild your wardrobe with some investment pieces, it's time to bet on yourself by snagging some statement items that will transcend trends and time.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
Topshop Cowl Back Satin Slipdress
If you're a woman over 21, you need a slip dress. Yes sis, I am talking to you! Slip dresses are so sexy and classic. No matter the outing or occasion, you can throw on sneakers or pumps and slay the scene.
BLANKNYC Faux Leather Moto Jacket
The perfect addition to any simple outfit, the moto jacket is truly a wardrobe essential. Tap into your inner bad gal with faux leather moto jacket by BLANKNYC that is the true definition of edgy meets chic. You can cop the look with another option here.
PAUL GREEN Diana Kiltie Fringe Pointed Toe Loafer
You may have PTSD from your mom forcing your feet into loafers for church or school but we want to empower you to let that go so you can step into your next-level wardrobe. We want to challenge you to pair these loafers with your go-to suit the next time you're getting dolled up.
Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Shoreline Slip
When it comes to a classic casual sneaker, you can't get any better than Converse. Whether high or low, Converse Chuck Taylors embody effortless and authentic street style, and can turn any casual OOTD up a notch on a stylistic note.
OFF-WHITE Jitney 2.8 Turn to Open Leather Bag
Time to secure the bag! Say hello to your new structured satchel sure to turn all the heads. It features the new signature OFF-WHITE "ARROWS" motif with unique, trendy sayings. We can see you pairing this bag with a fun t-shirt dress and your favorite shoes. For a cheaper alternative, shop here.
SCHUTZ Lou Pointed Toe Pump Women
Every girl needs a pair of pumps that make her feel closer to God and closer to her dreams. These SCHUTZ beauties have a slender pointy toe with a tapered heel which is what makes the style of a pump a masterpiece.
Linen Wrapover Blouse
What's a wardrobe without a white top? We love this linen number for its breathability and versatility. You could rock this to the office with a midi skirt or couple it with jeans for a picnic in the park.
Women's Organic Cotton Box-Cut T-Shirt by Everlane in White
Speaking of white top, a good plain white t-shirt is a wardrobe must-have, especially when it comes to creating blank canvases for staples to pop against. When it comes to basics, Everlane is the truth and their Organic Cotton Box-Cut T-Shirt is an icon all on its own when it comes to basic tees.
Women's Mixed-Media Bow Blouse by White House Black Market, Ecru
What's a blouse without drama? With this Mixed-Media Bow Blouse by White House Black Market, the proof is in the pudding in terms of how much a bow can add instant flair. From the exagerrated sleeves to the undeniable shade of ecru, this blouse is the ultimate drip inside of the workplace and out.
Women's Topshop Leather Wrap Pencil Skirt
We live for a wrap-style silhoutte because of the way it flatters every shape and embraces every curve. This waist-cinching pencil skirt is a chic take on the professional staple, and due to its leather material can translate well in a work landscape or a night out, depending on if you wish to dress it up or down.
Old Navy Women's Mid-Rise Rockstar Super Skinny Jeans
Denim is the greatest of all time and you need all the styles, washes and shades but starting off with these mid-rise skinnies is a "jean come true". With its riveted scoop pockets and soft medium-wash, we are more than here for it! Fun fact, these jeans are available in both regular, tall, petite and plus sizes.
Blazers are quintessential to a woman's wardrobe. Whether you have your own business, attend school or work a 9 to 5, you need a blazer. This staple from H&M will quickly pull any look together. You could even stylize it with biker shorts after a long day at your computer.
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
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What Are Intrusive Thoughts & How Do We Manage Them?
TW: some depictions of intrusive thoughts may be disturbing for readers.
Have you ever caught your mind drifting off to entertain the most disturbing scenarios imaginable? Maybe you can’t stop thinking of all the ways a loved one could pass away or worrying that you left every candle lit in your apartment to which you’d return to a home in ruins. If distressing ruminations like these have crossed your mind, you may be experiencing an intrusive thought.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted or distressing thoughts, images, or impulses that pop into your mind without your control or consent. These thoughts can be repetitive, unsettling, or even violent in nature, and can cause anxiety and frustration for those who experience them.
“Generally they're unwanted thoughts that come up in our head that interrupt what we're doing or thinking, and can feel very foreign,” says Adia Gooden, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast. “It’s any thought that intrudes or interrupts what you are doing. They can be distressing and upsetting for us because it feels like we are not in control of them, and they're coming up out of nowhere and aren’t in line with how you normally think.”
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
Certain trauma or stress can contribute to the development of intrusive thoughts, so having a challenging experience from the past or current life situations may trigger them to form. “An intrusive thought could come in the form of a flashback, image, or a thought about something that's happened to you,” Dr. Gooden tells xoNecole. “When it gets to the point where you feel like you can't function or make clear decisions, that's when intrusive thoughts become really challenging.”
While some of the 1 billion videos found under the #intrusivethoughts hashtag on TikTok would lead you to believe that these thoughts are nothing more than casual displays of our imagination going untamed. Intrusive thoughts are more than sticking your hand in a soap dispenser, wanting to cut all your hair off at 3 a.m., or having a random impulse to eat fake bread in public.
The Anxiety & Depression Association of America reports that approximately six million individuals, equating to roughly two percent of the American population, encounter intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are often linked with obsessive-compulsive disorders, but they can also manifest in individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.
Examples of Common Intrusive Thoughts
Because of the explicit nature of intrusive thoughts, they tend to cause shame and internal conflict in those who experience them. Although these thoughts can differ from person to person, these ideation can consist of:
- Violent or aggressive thoughts towards oneself or others, such as harming or killing someone;
- Sexual thoughts that are unwanted or inappropriate;
- Repetitive thoughts, such as a song or a phrase that keeps repeating in your mind;
- Contamination or germ-related thoughts or the fear of contamination and getting sick;
- Religious or blasphemous thoughts, such as questioning one's faith or having thoughts that go against religious beliefs;
- Doubts or uncertainty about one's own actions or decisions, such as fear of making a mistake or fear of not doing something right.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
That’s why Dr. Gooden encourages everyone to understand the difference between our fleeting thoughts and impulses and true, intrusive thoughts. “What level of distress does it cause and is it something you would never consider,” she says. “If you're finding that these thoughts are getting in the way of you living your life and that you're controlled by the thoughts, those are some signs that it would be good to get some support in navigating it.”
She also emphasizes the importance of understanding that while we may not always have control over our thoughts, we can control our behavior. “On TikTok, people are sort of blaming intrusive thoughts on their behavior, and our behavior is always a choice,” she says. “If we are in our right mind and we're not having a psychotic episode, our behavior is our choice — we are not obligated to follow any given thought that we have.”
Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal?
With intrusive thoughts, it’s natural to question whether these thoughts are “normal” to have. However, these thoughts are not meant to define who you are as a person but simply indicate that you have a functioning human mind with automated thoughts that you, or any of us, can’t control. These thoughts may come, but they don’t have to be acted upon, nor do they define who you are.
“I've worked with clients in the past who say, ‘Why am I thinking these things? What's wrong with me?’ But if you're not acting on the thought, then it's probably not a huge issue,” Dr. Gooden says. “If you are thinking a harmful thought towards yourself or someone else and you are making plans to act on that thought, then yes, we need to do something about it.”
How To Manage Intrusive Thoughts
If you are struggling with managing unwanted thoughts, Dr. Aida suggests taking these tips to help manage your mindset when they occur:
- "Recognize that it's a thought and thoughts are just thoughts. We often put a little bit too much weight on our thoughts, and that can create a lot of distress. But remember that thoughts are not facts."
- "Having a thought that's disturbing or upsetting doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean that you are suffering from a mental illness."
- "Sometimes the best thing you can do is say, 'Huh, that was an interesting thought. I'm going to let that go. That thought is not helpful for me right now."
- "Ask yourself: is this helpful? Is it helpful for me to buy into this thought and believe this thought? Asking that question can be really helpful because we are not at the mercy of our thoughts. If it's not helpful, you can let it go."
Intrusive thoughts can feel bizarre and foreign when they come up, but they aren't inherently "bad." Our minds can sometimes be filled with random and inappropriate thoughts, but that's what our stream of consciousness does: it thinks. Fortunately, we can release those thoughts at any moment; you don't have to follow through with them.
And ultimately, not every TikTok diagnosis is one that we should label ourselves with.
"It's important for people to acknowledge what they're experiencing but not run too quickly to diagnose themselves with some mental illness or disorder," Dr. Gooden advises. "It ends with confusion, and we miss the opportunity to understand the people who really do have that mental health challenge."
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