We have seen Black women take on business and entrepreneurship in numbers and be incredibly successful in the last decade. What we have specifically seen is Black women stepping into industries where little representation of not only women but Black women are present. The wine and spirits industry is no different.
In recent years, celebrity brands such as Ciroc and Dusse have risen in popularity in our culture, becoming the drink of the party. Black-owned vineyards like Brown Estates in Napa Valley are now changing the narrative around Black people and wine. Historically, we have had our influence in this industry for years but with less acknowledgment. Our taste profile coupled with family recipes have influenced brands such as Jack Daniels, a liquor that can be reportedly traced back to a Black man, Nathan "Nearest" Green.
Amber Ferrell Steele, CEO, and creator of Timeless Vodka is changing the narrative of Black women taking up space in this industry by creating a vodka line that is expertly crafted with everyone in mind. She is a wife and mother who has stepped out into uncharted waters and created a lane for Black women in the spirits industry. It was the creativity of Amber and her husband, Bruce King Steele, that led her to try her hand at creating her own liquor brand. This idea grew legs, and Timeless Vodka was born.
Courtesy of Timeless Vodka
Since then, the Timeless Vodka team has come together organically, with Amber's retailers, distributors, distillery family, and her own family rallying around her. Trust has been a major lesson for Amber because she has only met approximately 35 percent of her team face-to-face. She has had to learn to discern who has her best interest at heart in a very small amount of time, and so far she has been right.
To create her unique product and process, Amber used influences from her family and friends to develop a brand that can compete on the premium beverage stage and is inclusive of everyone. Even down to the smallest detail of the bottle shape, inspired by a syndrome that her daughter English was born with, points to inclusion for adults who still are affected. Without much experience in the industry and little information available, she was able to leverage her skills in sales, as well as her relationships to build her brand and grow it to multiple states during the pandemic.
If you are wondering about the taste, Amber uses a special process that ultra-purifies her vodka as it goes through a distillation process five times to prevent hangovers. It is a clean and elegant process that creates a drink that even when mixed, you don't have to work too hard to make a beautiful tasty cocktail. Amber's key to success? Well, that lies in the fact that she purposely created no plan B because plan A had to work. Amber calls this grit, and it is one of the things she says you need to have in business to be successful where you are not only the sole woman but the only Black woman.
Check out Amber's journey as she details how she built her Timeless Vodka brand and the obstacles she faced.
xoNecole: You have a full-time job and a family. What made you take on entrepreneurship?
Amber Ferrell Steele: Entrepreneurship wasn't something that I actually sought to do, honestly, this was a hobby. And it kind of grew into the business, and I would say entrepreneurship found me, I didn't necessarily find it. I'd be lying if I said it was easy. January 2020 was our official launch. And before we could even really get our feet wet in the industry, we only had a good month and a half before things started shutting down or the fear of things shutting down actually took place
"Honestly, this was a hobby. And it kind of grew into the business, and I would say entrepreneurship found me, I didn't necessarily find it."
I'd be lying if I said it was easy.I can say it's been a very fascinating year to juggle. I have a full-time job. I'm a full-time wife. I'm a full-time mom, and then I have to become a homeschool teacher too. I really had to find time and balance, and time management wasn't something that I was necessarily ever good at. I had to quickly learn how to be good at all of it.
Courtesy of Timeless Vodka
How did you decide to take on the wine and spirits industry?
To a degree, my husband is not a big drinker. I like to drink. I'm willing to try different things, but him, not so much. So whenever I'd make something at home, he would drink it. But we would go to a friend's house or a restaurant, he was drinking just to drink. It wasn't something that he enjoyed the taste of. I asked him what it is, and he said, "I just don't really like the way it tastes," or "I feel like it's heavy."
So the vodka line started off as a joke. I was like OK, we'll just create our own. One day, I was at a sales meeting for my company and I started looking at research on how to create your own brand. It's surprising, there's not a lot of information out there at all. It took me about two years, from start to finish to start to find the flavor profile, and create it.
How did you come up with the name Timeless Vodka?
We already decided what type of flavor we were going to have and the last little piece to the puzzle was the name. I traveled and I had a thirteen-week travel leg, I was only really home on the weekends. Bruce gave me a card and it was handwritten on a regular Walmart card. But he had written a piece in it about what you share with the people that you care about most. Once memory fades, you will still be able to have that feeling that you can always remember. Make the moment count. So that's when we decided, let's call it "Timeless". We decided our catchphrase would be, "Moments matter, make them timeless."
Courtesy of Timeless Vodka
In creating your flavor profile, coming up with your logo, the bottling, etc., can you walk us through that process from concept to the finished product?
I definitely wanted it to be black and white. I thought that it was very timeless, classy, and elegant. It was really important for the bottom to be gray and it signifies that black and white can offer gray. The shape of the bottle is something that was important to me. My daughter was born with amniotic down syndrome. When she was little, she had a small limb deficiency with her fingers and toes and she always liked water bottles.
I kind of thought ahead, there are other adults that are just like English out there, so I thought that having a squatty or wider bottle is easier to grip. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who wanted me to change my bottle shape, label, or design. I really [believe in] standing firmly on what you believe in and what you want. There's not a lot of women in this space. Being able to say this is what I want to do, and this is why it was something I had to learn.
"I really [believe in] standing firmly on what you believe in and what you want. There's not a lot of women in this space. Being able to say this is what I want to do, and this is why it was something I had to learn."
What were some of the business challenges that you encountered while you were building your business?
Not knowing what I was doing. I mean I hate to say you don't know what you don't know until you're in that situation where you really don't know what you don't know. That was my biggest thing. Having to quickly learn different liquor laws for the state that you're in has to be the hardest part of the selling. Learning what I needed to do, legally, [I] can't say I've mastered it.
What are some of the tools that you acquired or that you use now that help you navigate the challenges of becoming an entrepreneur?
I'm pretty close to our distributor, it was nice that I was able to come in and be very honest with them. I do not know everything, but I'm willing to learn. I feel like a lot of people, in general, don't want to take the time to sit back and listen and learn.
Courtesy of Timeless Vodka
Did you ever feel like you had imposter syndrome? And what did you do to kind of get over that?
I don't think I have. There are very few women who own vodka or liquor lines in general. I'm not a celebrity, I'm not wealthy. I'm just a regular person who wants to create a great tasting product for my family and friends. Up until recently, I would go in, make calls and people would have no idea that I was the owner of the brand. I'm just now starting to tap out and say, "My name is Amber, and I'm the owner of Timeless Vodka."
What advice would you give women who are looking to go into entrepreneurship?
If anything, keep your ideas close. Don't tell anyone what you are going to do until it is time for you to do it. Sometimes people will put their fears on your success and on you. As far as going into your own liquor business, just have grit.
If you are interested in purchasing, you can find Timeless Vodka in five states, Texas, Florida, Tennessee, South Carolina, and New Hampshire. It is also available online and ships to 44 states.
Featured image courtesy of Timeless Vodka
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Her captivating command of the pole left many of us intrigued, perhaps even tempted, to explore pole dancing ourselves after witnessing the mesmerizing performances at Mercedes Sunday. But it wasn’t just her physical prowess that kept us hooked. Mercedes is a character of depth—empowering, complex, relatable, and deeply human.
These are qualities that Brandee embodies both on and off the screen.
(L-R) Marque Richardson and Brandee Evans on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
A Memphis native, Brandee is no stranger to dance. She boasts an impressive career as a choreographer, having worked with renowned artists like Katy Perry, Monica, Ke$ha, and Ledisi. But while it has been a significant part of her journey, Brandee has her sights set on more—expanding her acting career beyond dance-inclusive roles. This ambition nearly led her to pass on the opportunity to appear alongside Kerry Washington in Hulu’s UnPrisoned, where she plays Ava, Mal's (Marque Richardson) new girlfriend.
“When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no,” Brandee revealed with a laugh. “She mentioned pole dancing, and I told myself and my team that once I was done with Mercedes, I wasn’t going to do that again.” Fortunately, Washington assured her that the role would be vastly different, leading to what Brandee described as an invaluable masterclass in comedy under the guidance of Washington herself.
“Kerry is a force of nature,” Brandee reflected. “She’s everything you’d hope she’d be—strong, compassionate, and incredibly talented. Working with her was like a masterclass in acting.” This opportunity was no mere stroke of luck; it was something Brandee had manifested years earlier. But make no mistake–she credits her faith and praying hands for her success. “I’m praying, you know what I mean? I’m asking God for what I want and working for it too,” she said.
"When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no."
(L-R) Brandee Evans, Kerry Washington, and Marque Richardson on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
This role marked Brandee’s first foray into comedy, and while she was eager to embrace the challenge, she found herself in the hands of an incredible mentor. “Kerry was always so kind in her critiques,” Brandee noted. “She’s not a diva by any means. She knows exactly what she wants, but she’s gentle and encouraging in bringing it out of you. That’s something I’ve taken with me to other sets—I want to lead with the same kindness and openness that Kerry showed me. It’s a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Brandee speaks with profound respect and gratitude for her peers and fellow actresses as many have shown her genuine sisterhood and support in an industry often notorious for its competitiveness. “Danielle Brooks sent me a prayer the other day, and I was just so touched. Those are the moments that people don’t see,” she shared. “I call Sheryll Lee Ralph my fairy godmother, and Loretta Devine is like my auntie. Being able to pick up the phone and seek advice from these incredible women is a true blessing.”
And she pays it forward.
Brandee Evans
Courtesy: Hulu
But her commitment to supporting others extends far beyond her career. As an advocate for health and wellness, she empowers women to prioritize their well-being. “Azaria [Carter], who plays my daughter on P-Valley, mentioned wanting to start a weight loss journey and get more fit. I told her, ‘Well, let’s work out together,’” Brandee recounted. But her dedication to healthy living goes beyond physical fitness, encompassing a holistic approach to wellness. “When she came to my house and tried to microwave something in plastic, I said, ‘Let’s use glass instead. At 20, I wasn’t thinking about that, but let me share some tips now so you’re not battling fibroids in your 30s.’”
Because she was.
While filming the first season of P-Valley, Brandee faced enormous stress—not only as a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but also due to the physical demands of the role. Yet the impact on her body was far greater than she expected. “I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal,” Brandee revealed. It was Harriet D. Foy, who plays her mother, who urged her to get checked for fibroids.
"I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal."
Brandee Evans graces the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony.
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
The statistics are staggering—80% of Black women develop abnormal uterine growths by age 50, making them more likely to suffer from fibroids than any other racial group. But like many, Brandee was initially unaware of these growths and their debilitating effects, and the prospect of surgery was daunting. “I was scheduled to have a myomectomy on my birthday, but I thought about what it would mean for my career. How am I going to climb the pole? The healing process is similar to a C-section.” Determined to avoid surgery, she committed to healing herself naturally.
After a deep dive, she sought treatment at The Herb Shop of Vinings in Atlanta, which ultimately led to a remarkable recovery. “This man saves lives. His name is Jeff, and I call him my doctor.” Brandee shared. “I started detoxing my body with herbs and following his program. During my follow-up with the gynecologist, they said, ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but your fibroids are shrinking.’”
Emerging on the other side of this journey not only fibroid-free but with a regulated cycle and a renewed outlook on life, Brandee is now focused on sharing her story and advocating for women’s health. “I know y’all want to hear about P-Valley, but I want to talk about regulating your period,” she said with a laugh.
Of course, she didn’t leave fans hanging when it came to what to expect in the upcoming season. “It is worth the wait. The world is about to go crazy. Oh, the world is about to lose it,” Brandee teased. “Y’all might be mad at us right now, but baby, it’s going to be worth it.”
All episodes of Season 2 of UnPrisoned are now streaming on Hulu.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu
You will see everything from Bored Panda’s “33 Older Adults Share Their Feelings On ‘The One Who Got Away’ Now That Time Has Passed” and BuzzFeed’s “’I Still Think Of Her Daily’: Older Adults Are Sharing If They Still Have Feelings For ‘The One Who Got Away’” to data which says that close to half of Americans have not only thought about an old crush or past love, they’ve also used the internet to look them up (uh-huh, y’all be careful out here: “Baby Bliss Is Ruined After MIL Gleefully Reveals Her Son Went On A Date With An Ex Before Wedding”).
Hmph. It makes me think of when one of my now good friends found out, a couple of years after my first book came out, that he actually did some mild producing for one of the characters in it — my own first love. As I shared some of the story, Shannon started singing a throwback R&B hit that he co-wrote, co-produced, and also recorded before Heather Headley did. The title? “In My Mind” (Heather’s version ishere; Shannon’s version ishere). As life would have it, it was in heavy rotation during the time of that very conversation.
Damn. My book came out in 2004. 2006 is when Heather’s cover of “In My Mind” was released. And you know what? In freakin’ 2023 (November, to be exact), I ran into my first love…again. The brief backstory is we both had separately debated going to a certain restaurant for a quick bite and then saw each other — and being that he has never married and neither have I (because only a guy who hasn’t been married before is personally an option for me), there we went…again…running in the flowers of nostalgia while trying to see if we can figure something out. *le sigh* Then add tax.
Oh, the one who got away. If that’s really how you truly feel about someone, when they do come back around into your space, it can be quite a doozy. And if/when it happens, you may be worrying yourself sick trying to figure out what to do about it. Listen, all I can do is tell you what I’ve learned from my own personal experience and observation of other people’s journeys. Here’s hoping that, by asking yourself the following questions, you, your mind and heart (and body, if it comes to that) will find the answers that you seek.
*P.S. Where’s your journal at? You’re gonna need it.*
Did He “Come Back” — or Did You Go Looking for Him?
GiphySomething that I used to say often is, “If you look ‘him’ up on Facebook, it’s you; however, if you run into him in Kroger, it’s God.” What I mean by that is, whoever you consider to be the one who got away, I’m not sure how “meant to be” it is if you’re only reconnected to him now because you went and sought him out. And no, I’m not coming from the angle that “men are hunters” (I hate that saying) and women should never pursue men (Ruth and Esther in Scripture did; it turned out fine for them — check out “6 Things Church Taught You About Dating That Weren't (Fully) Biblical”).
What I’m saying is when folks shift out of your life and seem to be fine with not reconnecting, there’s got to be a reason for that because they have the same internet that you do. Shoot, even if it’s not something as serious as they’re married if they do think of you fondly on some level, if they really wanted to reconnect, why haven’t they tried?
And here’s the thing — I know someone who once was almost desperate to become someone’s wife. So much, in fact, that she decided to seek out a college ex (sex buddy). He replied to her, eventually they did reconnect —, and although they are “together,” it’s been well over a decade and no ring. Clearly, he wasn’t looking for her or a wife and, as a result of her reaching out, somehow, she convinced herself to settle; now she’s out here believing that she doesn’t want to be married either.
Could it have played out the same way if he had reached out first? Eh, possibly. However, what I have noticed (and no, this isn’t gender-specific) is that oftentimes, the individual who makes the first step is more inclined to compromise than the one who is on the receiving end. That said, this guy wasn’t acting like the human version of Kermit sipping tea while looking out of the window as he wondered how to find her…she did that. And so, since she wanted him, she was more willing to do what he wanted in order to remain in contact with each other. SMDH.
Moral to the story on this one: When two people want the same thing, it’s all good. Oh, but when you convince yourself that settling is better than nothing at all, as writer Maureen Dowd once said, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” INDEED.
All I’m saying when it comes to this particular question is if he got away and he also isn’t taking the initiative to come back, consider why — shoot, why not even ask him? ‘Cause listen, if you took the time to reach out, you might as well get as much intel as possible on the front end. Clearly, he was fine not finding you. Why is that the case?
Did He “Come Back” — or Did the Universe Orchestrate a “Chance” Meeting?
GiphySome of the close-to-day-ones might recall reading another article that I penned for the platform entitled, “Why Every Woman Should Go On A 'Get Your Heart Pieces Back' Tour.” In it, I actually mention my first love and how, back in 2015, we had a run-in. I also said that, after that season, I was over him. Okay, but now it’s 2024, and I just told you that he almost got me AGAIN. I think for me, it’s two-fold. One, he’s never been married, and two, I never go looking for him. It’s always grocery stores or restaurants — random-ish, and honestly, I think because I am such a “signs and wonders” kind of person that is what brings me to a state of “cause for pause.”
Anyway, I think we all can agree that, on a lot of levels, on so many levels, I am an open book. The particulars on this, though, I’m going to keep to myself because I’m still processing some of it (and some stuff is still just my business). I will say this, though: If you are someone who recently had a run-in with your own the-one-who-got-away and you had absolutely nothing to do with initiating it, there are some quotes that I want to encourage you to keep in mind:
“Even if we have ourselves so fully convinced that we are on the right track because we desperately want to believe that the specific direction we have chosen is the ‘correct one,’ if the universe disagrees with our choices, it will not be shy in telling us so.” (Miya Yamanouchi)
“A coincidence will always be a coincidence until its significance is realized.” (Angie Corbett-Kuiper)
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.” (Joseph Campbell)
Does the run-in automatically mean that the two of you are destined to be together? I’m not saying that. What I will say is when you factor in all that happens in the world and how going left instead of right or being 30 minutes earlier or later could’ve prevented you from seeing “him”— yes, the universe is trying to show you something.
Even beyond the guy, spend some time pondering what that could be…, which brings me to the third question.
Is He to Be Your Lover Again — or Is He Just to Show You Something?
GiphyListen, just because I am a marriage life coach and I write on relationships for a living, that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own accountability crew (we ALL need that). The thing that I adore about mine is most of them are just as “straight no chaser” as I am. And so, whenever my first love comes back up, they are always on some, “Can one of you get married already, either to each other or someone else, so we can wrap this thing up?” — and chile, when this last encounter happened, due to some other details of the story, my male and female friends alike were like, “You can’t make this sh-t up!” (you really can’t).
That’s why, I have learned the hard way, to not make some heavy declarations (anymore) until everything really is all said and done.
At the same time, what I will share is because my first love has a tendency to run into me, pour it on thick, and then simmer, this time, I did some real soul-searching to figure out how much of the emotional acrobatics (on my part) was about 19-year-old Shellie still needing to get some things off of her chest more the woman who I am now still being “in love” with him. And boy, was that needed.
Back in 2015, I was pretty much just on, “So, are we getting married or what?!” This time, it was more like, “Why do you keep affecting me this way?” I mean, I get some of why: when your first love is pretty much your first everything, and you are also his first love, the bond is…significant. At the same time, though, because my question was different in 2023, the answers were too.
And the reality is there were still some things that “19 me” needed to work out so that she could catch up to who I am now. And on this side of realizing that, I get just how necessary that was because, first love, some other guy or no (future) husband at all — for myself, I needed to address and respond to some things…within myself.
So yeah, that’s another thing to ask about your own situation: before automatically romanticizing everything and assuming that the two of you are destined to be, ask if he’s to be your now-lover or now-teacher. You’d be amazed how that one question alone can shed a lot of light on what is actually transpiring in this season of your life.
Are the Two of You Supposed to Be Together — or Is There Just Some Closure/Clarity That’s Needed?
Giphy(Side note on this GIF. Erica Ash played the hell out of her role on Survivor's Remorse. RIP, sis.)
There’s another guy from my “get your heart piece back” tour that I reconnected with that I am SO GLAD that I did. One reason is that I carried a lot of, let’s go with the word “burden” of feeling that I made some poor choices (especially when it came to bad timing) that really did cause him to be someone who I filed as “letting him get away.” Another reason is that the way that things ended between us was so abrupt that I always had some questions (he basically called me up one day, said I was like “crack” to him, that he didn’t want to be addicted, and so we couldn’t talk anymore).
And still, another reason is I felt like although things ended, we never really got closure — and yes, something that I am a huge fan of is closure…because without it, sometimes doors are left ajar or cracked and that’s how things can creep right back on in.
The first conversation we had? It was for hours, well into the night. We missed each other. We reminisced about some things. And we caught up. However, the catch-up already let me know that our past needed to stay there because he was divorced, and again, divorced guys aren’t an option to/for me. Some other conversations that followed also brought some closure because, as much as we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company and, quite frankly, as great as the sex used to be (LAWD!), we were two very different people now.
Our values are different. Our experiences have caused us to take different forks on the road. In this season, we desire very different things. You know what, though? I never would’ve known all of that had we not spoken. Yes, some closure was needed, so that I could look back with a clearer and fuller picture.
So yes, that’s why I think another question that should be asked is, if 'the one who got away' being back in your life at this time is so you two can be together, or it’s so that you two can get some real clarity and closure so that the title of 'the one who got away' can be put to rest? Because when it comes to the guy that I just spoke of?
For me, now he’s just a fine-ass man who I had a great connection with once upon a time and who is thriving on his side of the world as I do the same. He didn’t “get away” anymore. He’s gone because…that’s how it should be.
What About Him Being in Your Life, As You Are Now, Would Enhance It?
GiphyI am very word-specific and word-literal. That’s why I want you to notice how, with this question, I didn’t say “change” or “improve” — I said ENHANCE. To enhance is “to raise to a higher degree.” Some synonyms for enhance include build-up, strengthen, increase, add to, and complement (check out “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life”).
You know, several years ago, I was on an interesting journey with a guy, and I’ll never forget what two of our friends (who were married at the time) said when they found out: “Shellie, I see how you’d be good for him. We’re not sure how he’d be good for you, though.” HMPH. Y’all better listen to folks who care about you when they speak into your life — there’s no telling what they can spare you from if you just choose to listen.
And that’s the thing — the one who got away, even if he was awesome for you back in the day, even if it’s totally your fault that he got away the first time…who are you now? Would bringing him back into your world, on any level, enhance it? Would it really? And, if you do truly still care about him, would you being back in his life enhance his as well?
Because there really is such a big difference between being good to someone vs. being good for them (check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?”) and mature folks? They don’t want the former if it doesn’t come with the latter — mutually so.
BONUS: Please Don’t Mistake Nostalgia for Love
GiphyI rememberonce reading that our brain actually craves nostalgia.Some research says that taking walks down memory lane can give us a greater sense of self, put us in better moods, and it can even play a pivotal role in our personal growth and development. And y’all, that may be why we sometimes get so caught up when it comes to (certain) men from our past. Nostalgia can be so seductive and even exhilarating that we might think it’s love when…it might just be an emotional high for the moment.
Real conversations. Slowing down. Praying, meditating, and journaling. Not being quick to jump into bed. Letting some people you trust hold you accountable. Being honest about what you need at this time in your life. Not living in the past if it’s at the expense of compromising your present or sacrificing your future. Encouraging “him” to do all of these same things for himself as well — this is what helps you to come to the realization of whether what you’re feeling is nostalgia, love, or both.
And if it is love, is it the kind of love that needs to have a commitment attached or a full and final release?
___
Yeah, whether it was bad timing, he was the wrong person, or a little bit of both, the thing about the one who got away is they did so for a reason. If they’re back, see what the PURPOSE is in that….so that if they stay, they stay for good. And if they go, they’re gone for good (preaching to the choir here, by the way).
Feel me? I certainly hope you do.
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Featured image by Adam Hester/Getty Images