This Private Chef Is Giving Us The Secret To Curating The Perfect Summer Supper Moment
During the summertime, nothing brings friends, family, and community together like a well-cooked meal. Today, more than ever, gathering around intimate dining experiences and curated suppers has become a way to form new connections and spread love through the quickest way to our hearts—our stomachs. One chef is using her cultural background and vibrant culinary style to show us how to host our next summer gathering.
Chef Day's culinary journey is a vibrant tapestry of cultural influences and passionate pursuits. The Haiti-born, Miami-raised, “New York-seasoned,” and now Atlanta-based chef was brought up in a Caribbean culture that celebrated food and togetherness.
Her decorated culinary path has since led her to work in Michelin restaurants, catering high-profile events like Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and Grammy after-parties, and playing a vital hand in the curation of innovative dishes that blended Jamaican, Haitian, and African influences for Atlanta’s top restaurants.
Now, as a private chef, Day thrives on elevating culinary experiences through her supper club, Dine with Day, while continuing to make waves in the food industry with her unique and flavorful creations. For xoNecole, she’s dishing her tips on how to spice up your summer cuisine and add some flavor to your next summer gathering.
On the inspiration behind starting her culinary catering experience, Dine with Day:
“It started back in 2017, I was living in Brooklyn, and I would cook for all my friends on Sundays. That’s when I could test all my recipes. I just loved to host, so I wanted to bring that speakeasy dining to the forefront. It's great to be able to give people an experience that they otherwise don't think they have access to, or maybe they just want to value otherwise. You're getting seven courses, art, music, a beautiful, well-decorated space, and a moment to be amongst the community and let your hair down.”
“I’m able to curate a space based on a theme and bring the theme to life with the food, the sights, the smells, and bring that all together. It's my happy place, my creative space where I may or may not make money from it, but it’s my form of self-expression — almost like writing a short story in the form of a dinner party.”
On the three things you need to make your next dinner party special:
The Setting and Atmosphere:
“Making sure that the setting is warm and comfortable and people's needs and expectations are accounted for is a part of service that I really enjoy. Setting that intentional space, whether it be a beautiful flower arrangement or decorations so that people feel like you're in an elevated space.”
Music:
“Music plays a big part at a lot of my dinner parties. I usually have one or two songs that were inspired by the menu, so I'll curate a playlist around that. I also bring in local artists, whether it's a poet, a saxophone player, or a harpist, to allow another artist to showcase of their talents.”
Keep Community In Mind:
“People now, more than ever, are looking for community. Whether it's in the run clubs we're all seeing, or a hiking and pottery club, community is so important. There's so much going on around us that we can't directly control, but the way that we open ourselves up to community is going to do a lot for our well-being and keep us on track, even though things are very chaotic. People may come alone, but they’ll leave with a few new friends."
On the inspiration behind her signature dish with Topo Chico, grilled lobster with Scotch Bonnet honey glaze:
“I've had that recipe for a while and the sauce is featured in a lot of other dishes — it's one of those staples that goes good on everything. When Topo Chico approached me and told me about the flavor profiles of their drinks and the feeling of summer that they wanted to put out, immediately I was like I'm putting lobster on the grill — that's a no-brainer.”
It has all my favorite things on: the scotch bonnet pepper, which is a staple in most Caribbean households, delicious raw honey, and succulent lobster. It was really fun being able to show people you can have sparkling water pair well with something decadent.”
On how to stay creative in the kitchen and elevate your summertime recipes:
“Sauces! Make your own sauces. Find that small batch of sauce at your local store, stock up on that, and put it on everything to elevate your cuisine. Cooking isn't as hard as you might think it is, and playing around with some of the trends can make cooking a little bit more accessible.”
“Stay curious, pick up a cookbook you probably wouldn't just to try new recipes in there, and watch a new cooking show. Social media also has so many great creators and different chefs on there to educate you on new things. Fail twice and get it right the third time — go after the new. Everybody has the ability to cook if they trust their instincts, so experiment and step outside of the box.”
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Featured image by Chef Day/Instagram
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Exclusive: Dreka Gates Talks Farm Life, Self-Mastery, And Her Wellness Brand
Dreka Gates is making a name in wellness through authenticity and innovativeness. Although we were introduced to her as a music manager for her husband, Kevin Gates, she has now carved out her own lane outside of music as a wellness entrepreneur. But according to Dreka, this is nothing new.
In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
Courtesy
If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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Bi In A Straight-Presenting Relationship? Here’s What To Consider Before Coming Out
I don't know if it was Kehlani's latest tour or Teyana Taylor and Victoria Monét’s sizzling Usher tribute at the BET Awards, but something has sparked a lot of us into a late-in-life bi-awakening. Even Keke Palmer shared that she’s not strictly into men. But let’s be real: admitting you might not be fully straight while already in a relationship with a man? That can be downright terrifying.
Cultural norms and societal expectations can make you second-guess whether you should even speak your truth. The thing is, most bisexual people are in what’s called "hetero-presenting" relationships—meaning, from the outside, it looks like a heterosexual relationship, but in reality, one (or both!) partner(s) may be bisexual. Being bi but appearing straight? It’s more common than you think. This phenomenon makes bi-erasure even more real!
Realizing you’re bisexual while in a hetero-presenting relationship doesn’t automatically mean you want to jump ship. So what now? How do you navigate this revelation and still keep your relationship intact? How do you even bring this up to your boyfriend or husband? And let’s be real—should you come out at all?
'Is Coming Out Even Worth It?'
Coming out can mean showing up more authentically, finding new communities, and maybe even expanding your dating options (depending on what you and your partner agree on, of course).
Many bi folks feel a huge sense of relief after coming out to their partners and loved ones. As sex therapist Shadeen Francis puts it, “This can be an exciting and growth-filled time. People often experience a renewed curiosity about themselves or their relationship, awe about their sexuality, and a deeper interest in or appreciation for their partner.” In fact, your bi-awakening might even bring you closer to your partner. Vulnerability in a safe, supportive relationship can really deepen your connection.
Shadeen also points out that “partners can be inspired to explore themselves more deeply. While it may not always be about sexuality, one person’s self-discovery often sparks reflection for those around them, including spouses.” In other words, honesty breeds emotional closeness.
What If Things Go Left?
It’s important to keep in mind that not every coming out story is all sunshine and rainbows. Coming out as bisexual while in a heterosexual relationship is a deeply personal experience that can shake up everything you thought you knew about yourself. For Black women, this journey is even more layered. “Cultural upbringing, race, and religion can all influence how you discover, accept, and navigate your new sexual identity,” explains certified sex educator Taylor M. Akers.
Realizing you're bisexual can be both liberating and terrifying. The fear of how your partner, family, or community might react can bring up waves of anxiety and self-doubt. You might wonder if you’re risking the safety of your relationship or your sense of belonging. And let’s be real, if your partner or your people don’t vibe with bisexuality, it can trigger feelings of rejection and leave you feeling misunderstood.
As Taylor Akers points out, the idea of coming out can even activate your survival instincts. “They may fear losing the security of their current relationship and the stability it provides. Feelings of rejection could arise, leading to anxiety or depression, especially if their spouse, family, or social circle culturally disagrees or is indifferent to bisexuality. That can feel unsafe and threatening to one’s sense of self and identity.”
While those fears and risks are real, it's important to remember that without risk, there can be no reward. Stay rooted in your 'why' when navigating the tough parts of these conversations, and remember that those who truly love you will want you to express yourself fully.
How To Navigate the Conversation
Once you've decided that coming out is worth it because you want to be fully seen for who you are, think carefully about when and how to tell your partner. Timing is everything—avoid dropping this potentially relationship-shifting conversation when they’ve just woken up or walked in from work. Sex Therapist Kamil Lewis suggests, “I recommend having the conversation at a low-stress time, maybe over dinner, after watching a show together, or during a light conversation about your relationship.”
Once you’ve picked your moment, connect with your support system! Whether the conversation goes smoothly or takes a turn, you’ll want someone on standby—whether to celebrate with or to lean on. Kamil adds, “If a close friend or family member knows about your bisexuality, let them know when you plan to talk to your partner. That way, they can offer support, no matter the outcome.”
When it’s time to talk, here’s a pro tip: keep the focus on your own experience. Sex therapist Shadeen Francis advises, “Share your feelings using ‘I’ statements, like ‘I’ve realized’ or ‘I feel.’ Then, listen to your partner’s reactions without judgment.” It’s important not to expect any specific response—they might need time to process before they can fully express how they feel. And above all, if you’re committed to the relationship, say so! As Shadeen points out, “It can be reassuring for your partner to hear, as many assume this means you want to break up.”
This conversation might also turn into a teaching moment. In a world shaped by compulsory heterosexuality, your partner might not fully grasp what “coming out” as bisexual means. So, open that notes app and jot down your thoughts ahead of time. Think about what specifically you want to share—and don’t hesitate to practice the conversation beforehand.
The Bottom Line
Ultimately, deciding whether to come out as bisexual while in a relationship with a man is a deeply personal choice, but it’s also one that can combat the erasure of bisexual identities. As we’ve explored, this journey can be both liberating and anxiety-inducing. Bisexuality is often misunderstood or overlooked, especially in hetero-presenting relationships, and coming out can be a powerful way to affirm your truth—not just for yourself, but for others who may feel unseen.
Whether it’s the joy of being more authentically known, the emotional closeness that honesty can bring, or the fear of potential rejection, remember that there’s no one right way to navigate this.
If you feel ready to share this part of yourself, consider the timing and approach with care, lean on your support system, and speak from the heart. And if the conversation takes an unexpected turn? Give your partner space to process, but also let them know your commitment to the relationship remains intact. This isn't just about coming out—it’s about resisting erasure, embracing your full self, and nurturing the love and connection you've already built.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images