7 Worrisome Things In Relationships...That You Really Shouldn't Worry About
Something that I grew up around were worry warts. It wasn't until I grew up and was able to create my own energy oasis that I realized how toxic that space actually was because worrying really does tend to create issues/problems that don't exist. I mean, just think about what the word means—"to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret". What about that sounds healthy, beneficial or productive? Exactly.
As a marriage life coach, I oftentimes see people literally manifest their own drama in their relationships because they worry about things that, at the end of the day, they really shouldn't worry about—either because it's not that big of a deal or they couldn't really change it if it happened anyway. That's what I want to touch on today. If you want to keep your relationship in a good space, long-term, start by not tormenting yourself—and ultimately your partner—by choosing to have fear, anxiety and/or doubt about things that…really aren't worth it at the end of the day.
1. Titles
Titles are an interesting topic. When it comes to romantic relationships specifically, on one hand, they can help to bring about clarity. On another, if you're too consumed with them, they can create a lot of unnecessary drama. As someone who has said, many times, that I am too damn old for a boyfriend (check out "Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again"), a title isn't that big of a deal to me. What I need to know is that we're on the same page (check out "The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have"), that the page isn't a secret to those who know us, and I'm all good. Besides, titles typically only come up when folks are being introduced to other people, right? It's like the title is needed in order to validate the relationship and, trust me, if you're being treated well and right, you will automatically feel confident—both in and out of the presence of folks.
The only real caveat to this is when a man refuses to put a title on your relational dynamic when it's something that you actually long for. I know a married couple like this. While the wife claims that she and her husband were a couple for many years prior to jumping the broom, her man is adamant that nothing "official" ever transpired before they said, "I do". Hmph. That low-key sounds like, "If I say you were my girlfriend and you find out all of the dirt that I did, I can't excuse my way out of it by saying we were never a couple in the first place." SMDH.
Still, people like that tend to be the exception and not the rule when it comes to this particular point. Besides, a title means nothing if the actions aren't backing up the words. For instance, I know another guy who, when he's asked if he has a girlfriend, he sometimes says, "She might think I'm her boyfriend but I don't have a girlfriend." This ninja. So yeah, why spend a lot of time worrying about if there's a title to your situation or not? Because it has to matter as much to the person who you're in a relationship with as it does to you, anyway. Instead, focus on if your needs are being met. If they are, chill. And what if the "need" is to have a title? If so, ask yourself why. Then discuss it with your partner. You might realize that you wanted one only because it's so-called what everyone else is doing and not really because it's that big of a deal to you. Or, you might discover that you and he want different things and it's time to do some shifting because of it. Either way, you win.
2. Social Media
If any of you have been watching the current season ofReady to Love, you know that there's a two-time divorced guy on there by the name of David who said that he believes that long-term couples should give each other full password access. While I do think that a marital dynamic is different than two folks who are dating, this is still something that I've never personally desired in any kind of relationship. I mean, for what? When I think of other situations where passwords are shared, it's automatically parents and children that come to mind and it's usually because either a parent doesn't fully trust their child's online actions or they don't think that they're mature enough to handle social media without their guidance.
Adults aren't children, so what's all of the grown folks monitoring about? And if someone isn't your actual spouse, I really don't get why you should have that kind of access.
Being in an intimate relationship doesn't mean that someone has to give up their individuality or privacy. Besides, if you can't trust your partner when it comes to how they interact with people on Instagram (or they can't trust you), why are the two of you together to begin with?
Some folks cause worry to make mountains out of molehills when there shouldn't be one. That said, just because some attractive woman likes your man's page or he's friends with folks you don't know online, that doesn't mean that you need to hop into his DMs or "check" anybody. Geeze. Things grow when they have space (more on that in a sec). Not when they are being suffocated. Your partner doesn't need you monitoring them. If you disagree, the issue is probably way bigger than social media. Real talk.
3. Your Partner’s Opposite Sex Friendships
Do I think that men and women can be "just friends"? 1000 percent. I've got a few male friends—single and married—to prove it. When two people are truly platonic (check out "The Word 'Platonic' Is Sacred. Literally."), there really is nothing to worry about because a "spiritual love-based relationship" oftentimes takes on a very different kind of energy. Like me? I adore all of my male friends and they each bring something very special into my life. Yet lawd, the thought of anything sexual or romantic transpiring with any of them basically makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I'm not exaggerating. That's why I'm so over the myth that just because someone has a penis and you've got a vagina, there is an automatic temptation there—even if it's dormant—between two people. Who said?
Case in point. I just went out with a very close male friend of mine not too long ago. He is adorable and hella photogenic. And yet, we can talk about him and all of the women who want him 'til the cows come home because I can't even get my mind around us being anything more than what we are. He listens to me. I listen to him. We provide each other with a perspective that our same-sex friends are unable to provide and that's about the extent of our connection. That's all that it ever will be.
Unfortunately, some people get into relationships and think that a part of their job is to get their partner to "clean house" when it comes to their opposite sex friendships when what they're actually doing is putting an expiration date on their relationship (at least 8 times out of 10). Listen, unless "she's" hella disrespectful (check out "What If Your Guy Friend's Girlfriend Isn't Feelin' You?"), she seems to be trying to influence you man to distance himself from you or she's putting strain on him to the point where he can't take care of the other priorities in his life (none of these instances sound very "platonic" to me, by the way), who cares if he's got female friends in his life? If they were gonna be together…they would've been together. Don't create problems that don't exist, just because you've heard too many times that men and women can't be "just friends". That is absolutely not the truth.
4. Not Seeing Everything Eye to Eye
I personally think that one of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is expecting their partner to become their clone. Shoot, worse than that, they put themselves in the position to become the "clone trainer" when no one (especially their partner) asked them to do so.
You know, a part of what comes with being emotionally intelligent in a relationship is understanding that people who are different than you are can help you to evolve in ways that folks who are similar never could. So, if you're out here worrying that you and your partner won't work out because you're not in agreement about everything under the sun, what is it that grandma used to say? You're just borrowing trouble.
How can you know if the differences are potentially problematic? That's a fair question. If you don't share similar values. If you don't have the same long-term goal(s) for the relationship. If you communicate in a toxic way. If you don't respect one another's religious and political points of view. If you don't complement one another. If any of this is going on, you shouldn't shrug it off. However, everything else? You're far better off being open-minded when it comes to why the two of you have different approaches to matters than assuming that you're doomed, just because y'all are not Bobbsey Twins. A lot of marriages end, unfortunately, because one or both spouses don't get this very point. Your partner isn't supposed to be just like you—again, they are to complement you. Oftentimes, differences are what do that because they challenge you to grow. RELAX.
5. Being on Other People’s Timetable
A couple of years back, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "Experts Say You Should Date This Long Before Getting Married". If you're rushing and you want the bottom line answer, many relationship experts say that it shouldn't take longer than two years for two marriage-minded people (check out "One Overlooked Yet Obvious Indicator That A Man Is Husband Material") to date and at least get engaged. For the most part, I agree with that (by the way, it's also not the wisest thing to stay engaged for more than two years; engagement really should mean that you are in a period where you are planning your wedding not sitting around forever with a ring on your finger). What I will also say is this is a generalized conclusion—and each couple is different.
If you and yours live in two different cities, states or countries. If you and yours are trying to get your finances together (lawd, PLEASE get your finances together). If the both of you know that you love each other and still would like to take out some time to do some self-work (via therapy, etc.) in order to heal some issues before taking things to the next level. If there are certain things that you know would be easier for you to accomplish as a single person before getting married. If you've got kids and you want to make sure that things will "blend well"—don't let what relationship experts, your mama or your married girlfriends think deter you from what your gut instincts say is best.
It really is sad, how much a lot of us worry about things that we're really not all that worried about; it's just that people and their opinions come in and try to plant seeds of fear, confusion or doubt. So long as you and your guy are clear about your relationship short- and long-term goals and you're both working to meet them, give the clock a bit of a rest. Haste makes waste. That's not just a random saying. There is a ton of truth to it. Just ask a lot of the divorced people that you know.
6. The Need for Space
I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't want their own space from time to time. I take that back—yes, I do. Needy people. Controlling people. Insecure people. Folks with a low-key love addiction. Yet one thing that all of those individuals have in common is they typically look for their relationship to fill voids that they need to work on as individuals. So, if you're someone who knows that you kinda suffocate your partner, I say this in love when I say, "heal thyself".
While I get that sometimes there can be challenges in this area because, for instance, your primary love language may be physical touch when your partner's isn't or you enjoy spending as much time as possible with the ones you care about while your partner is cool with you only seeing each other a couple of times a week, tops, it's not fair to assume that someone who wants space is someone who doesn't care about you, isn't being on the up-and-up when it comes to what the two of you have agreed to do and not do out of each other's presence or that he can't be trusted on some levels. Right as I'm typing this, I can think of a woman who is constantly finding ways to not be out of her husband's presence. I mean physical presence, online presence—you name it. And you know what? It's taking a major toll on the relationship because while she's calling it "love", he's calling it "annoying AF" and "hella insecure".
I believe that we've all heard the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Deeper than that, being a couple doesn't mean that someone doesn't want their own "me" time.
Encouraging your partner to have time alone. Being cool with them spending time with friends when you're not around. Not feeling like all of your free time needs to be spent together—you'd be surprised how much that can make him feel like you are secure in the relationship. And that kind of confidence is sexy as hell.
7. That It Won’t Work Out
I've got a friend who, right at this very moment, is going through the grieving process of a break-up. Something that's a bit fascinating about the situation is he basically saw red flags in the dynamic and blatantly ignored them. And so, although he knew that there was an expiration date to the relationship, he kept putting off the inevitable which led to him becoming more attached, which caused the break-up to ultimately become more painful. Still, in the midst of it all, he's seeing some personal growth and lessons that he may not have learned any other way.
My point? I don't know many people who go into relationships with a plan to end them (some folks are narcissists, users or commitment-phobes which is why I couldn't say that I don't know any). So yes, if/when the relationship comes to an end, it can be really difficult. Sometimes, even devastating. I've been there. Believe that. Yet when it comes to myself and the folks I know who've shared their relationship and break-up stories with me, only maybe 10-15 percent have a lot of regrets. The reason why is because they see that some things naturally run their course after a season, that sometimes breaking up is a pruning process that helps us to grow and/or that if they hadn't ended that relationship, they wouldn't be with the person they're with—someone who is far better for them—now.
Besides, sitting around worrying that a relationship could end could play itself out to be a form of self-sabotage because you end up bringing so much fear, negativity, confusion, testing (you know, testing someone to see how loyal or committed they are; that gets old) and/or drama to the situation that it ends up running its course—even if it wasn't supposed to.
So, STOP WORRYING. As long as you bring your best self to the relationship, that's all you can do. Let the universe handle what you can't control. If you remain in this head and heart space, you'll realize that there really isn't all that much to worry about anyway. What will be, will be—and ultimately, it will be for your better good. If not immediately…eventually. Amen.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Your January 2024 Horoscopes Are All About Ease & Positive Fresh Starts
January is a groundbreaking month of surprises, challenges, and triumphs. The year begins with Mercury going direct on January 1, signifying a sense of ease and a new beginning that this year is bringing. With less fog and more clarity, less control, and more flow, anything is possible for you as the year begins, and January is ushering in this positive fresh start. After the intense and enlightening year that 2023 was, this year is starting on a determined tone, and there is a lot to look forward to this year.
On Jan. 4, Mars enters Capricorn, and this is a good time to set up financial goals and plans for yourself for the year and to think more logically here. Mars in Capricorn is ambitious, and this will be a good month to follow through on New Year's resolution, as you will be feeling more empowered to do so. On Jan. 11, the first New Moon of the new year occurs, and this is a New Moon in Capricorn.
Setting intentions is even more potent right now, and what you are manifesting right now will ripple into the rest of this year. This New Moon is all about defining what you want and standing by it. Mercury then moves into Capricorn on Jan. 13, forming a stellium in this earth sign.
With all of this Capricorn energy, as the year begins, there is a certain determination and resilience that this month is bringing in.
What January 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Aquarius Season begins on Jan. 20, and determination turns into inspiration. While the Sun is in Aquarius, your community becomes more prominent, and the focus is on friendships, support systems, and soulmates. This Aquarius Season is all about thinking things thoroughly, claiming your victories, and supporting those who have been there with you along the way. Pluto also moves into Aquarius on Jan. 20, signifying that what’s changing now is not only happening on a personal level but a collective one as well. There is a sense of not only things and experiences coming together this month but people coming together as well.
Venus moves into Capricorn on Jan. 23, and Venus in Capricorn takes its time with love and enjoys every moment of it. The best of the best is the priority for Venus in Capricorn, and she doesn’t mind working for what she wants. This energy is bringing a groundedness to relationships, but also a little more pressure to deliver or provide.
The Full Moon of the month is happening in Leo and will be on Jan. 25, bringing in some fire sign energy before the month ends. This Full Moon is about putting yourself out there unapologetically and letting go of anything that keeps you further from yourself.
The end of January settles into a nice flow as Uranus goes direct after being retrograde since August 28, 2023. With Uranus in Taurus now direct, there is less unsettledness in the air, especially when it comes to love, romance, and finances. Uranus now direct brings a certain type of spontaneity back into the world, and one that brings a pleasant type of excitement rather than an unexpected hindrance.
Overall, January is bringing things back into order and providing a new sense of abundance in replace of change.
ARIES
January begins, and you are focused on your goals and priorities. You have your vision and your plans, and nothing is getting in the way of the future you see for yourself this year. The month begins with the Sun in your 10th house of career, and you are thinking a lot about the legacy you want to leave right now. However, your guidance is to not rush your process or progress this month and to take time with the developments and healing that are taking place for you right now.
Mars enters your 10th house on Jan. 4, where a lot of the energy of the month is for you, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. There is a shift in energy taking place for you this month, and at times, it may feel overwhelming, so be kinder to yourself in the process. At the end of the month, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this is ushering in some positive and fortunate energy in your life. You are leaving January in a romantic and hopeful tone, Aries.
TAURUS
This month is a time of change and perspective, Taurus. You are moving in a new direction in life and are ready to experience more abundance and clarity, but may need some time to get there. It’s all about the way you are looking at things right now, and the New Moon on Jan. 11 is a good time to set your intentions for that. The beginning of the month is eye-opening, and it’s up to you to decide what to do with the information you have gained.
On Jan. 23, Venus enters your 9th house, and you could be doing some traveling this month. This is a good time to adventure with a loved one, do things differently, and ask for spiritual guidance in your life. There is an awakening happening in your life this month, and there is some unexpectedness here. The most impactful transit of the month for you, however, is Uranus going direct in your sign on Jan. 27, after being retrograde since Aug. 2023.
This is a huge relief for you, and you can expect more stability and exciting opportunities in your life now.
GEMINI
Wishes are coming true for this month, Gemini. There is good energy flowing through your life as the year begins, and you are still in celebration mode from the successes that occurred for you at the end of last year. With the Sun and most of the energy in your 8th house of rebirth this month, you are feeling a freedom and connection in your life like never before. January is an inspiring time for you, and you are emotionally moving through some successes now.
Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Capricorn on Jan. 13, and moves into your 8th house as well. This is creating a spiritual awakening in your life and your close relationships. You are seeing clearly how putting in the work has favored you, and are experiencing the fruition that comes with emotional growth. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon in your house of communication, and you are getting your message across now. Self-expression is everything to you, and you are getting the feedback you have been looking for here at the end of the month.
CANCER
Life is coming to fruition for you in January, Cancer. There is a sense of ease with you as you enter the new year, as you have claimed your peace and owned your power. You are trusting where life is and where life can still go for you, and are focused on your inner happiness right now. With the New Moon and most of the energy of the month in your 7th house of love, you are feeling this energy in your life and also sharing it. January is all about balance between your personal growth and the needs and wants of your relationships as well.
With all of the synergy that is flowing in your life this month, you are seeing relationship matters come full circle. Your heart is with your people, and you are rising above any past complications that disrupted your peace. On Jan. 27, Uranus goes direct, and this is even more energy that is favoring your relationships with others. With Uranus now direct, your friendships and community become more stable for you, and you may be meeting some new, exciting people in the process.
LEO
January is all about your inspirations, Leo. This is a powerful month for you and a month where you are encouraged to get creative and be courageous. You may have more on your plate this month than usual, but you have the right perspective and plan to follow through. Work matters are also more pressing for you now, and this is setting the tone for the accomplishments you are set to make this year.
Venus enters your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines on Jan. 23, and single Leos may find a new romance brewing in the workplace. Taken Leo’s will find their heart in their daily life, health, and well-being, and will be inspiring their partners with this energy as well. It’s all about working together with the people around you and making something better than it was this month. The Full Moon of January is in your sign on Jan. 25, and this Full Moon is when you are feeling the closure of the past year. You are letting go of old habits and beliefs, and owning your new ones.
VIRGO
January is a time of abundance, self-resilience, and fruition for you, Virgo. You are experiencing a breakthrough in your life, and financially you are allowing the blessings to enter. This is a month to break from self-imposed limitations and to trust that you are worthy of all you have gained and the future successes you will be taking in. With the energy of the month in your 5th house of romance as well, you are feeling more encouraged to be yourself, to love, and to be loved.
On Jan. 11, there is a New Moon in Capricorn and in your 5th house, and this is a good time to set your intentions for love. Don’t just think about what you want; feel it, grasp it, and go into your heart space to take in how it would truly feel to receive your desires in life. By the end of the month, Uranus goes direct in your 9th house of travel, adventure, and spirituality, and you could have some spontaneous trips or adventures to embark on as you leave the month.
LIBRA
This month is about finding your strength, Libra. You have been on a personal journey of growth and balance, yet have felt emotionally heavy at times in the process. The support in your life has been there, but it’s still been difficult to grasp your own inner power. This month is about accepting what’s been and choosing your strength instead of your fear. With the energy of the month in an area of your chart having to do with family and the home, this is a good time to spend more time in your safe spaces.
Venus, your ruling planet, will be in your 4th house for most of the month as well, and your heart is really where the home is right now. This is a good time to spruce up the home, move things around, decorate, and bring in some new energy to your environment as the new year begins. On Jan. 25, there is a Full Moon in your 11th house of hopes and dreams, and the blessings you were counting on in the past, are coming in for you now.
SCORPIO
January is all about standing your ground and protecting your energy, Scorpio. You are walking into the new year needing some time to process what has been and to decide on where you go from here. You are no longer willing to be pulled in so many different directions and are focused on your priorities and your peace of mind right now. When things feel pressing for you this month: create art, meditate, and get some quiet time alone. With a lot of the energy in your 3rd house of the mind in January, you need all the time and space to clear your head.
On Jan. 11, there is a New Moon in Capricorn, and this New Moon is about remaining hopeful, and awakening to a new mindset. You are taking your communications, beliefs, and connections more seriously, and are directing your power toward your message. On Jan. 27, Uranus finally goes direct in Taurus, your opposite sign, and this is good news for romance, finances, and your one-on-one relationships. You are leaving January with more pleasurable experiences in your love life and with less doubt about your stability and security here.
SAGITTARIUS
January is a month of collaboration, connection, and creation for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on your relationships, your people, and the connections you are looking to make this year- and maybe meeting some new people to help you get there. You have your eyes and heart open, and this is an inspiring time for you to create something beautiful. With Mercury going direct in your sign on Jan. 1 as the month begins, you are entering the year with a sense of personal clarity that is attracting like-minded souls and love into your life.
With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances for most of the month, this is a good time to focus on your growth and priorities here and to plan for the future. The New Moon in this area of your chart on the 11th is a good time to set your intentions for abundance. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and you are gaining the wisdom from the adventures you have been on and the lessons you have learned as of late.
CAPRICORN
The light is on you this month, Capricorn. So much of the energy in January is happening in your sign, and this is something to say about the powerful year ahead for you. The month begins with the Sun and Pluto in your sign, and Mars, the planet of direction and action, entering here on Jan. 4. A lot is going on in your life, and this is transforming things personally for you. If you can take the wins with the losses, and find your balance in what is becoming clearer to you now, you can use your will and passion toward intentional action rather than fear-based. January is the time when you are working on letting go, honoring the heart, and listening to the messages of your soul.
The New Moon of the month is on the 11th and is in your sign. This is a powerful day of manifestation for you and a time to think big. Mercury moves back into your sign from Jan. 13 until Feb. 5, and this brings clear energy into your communications with others. Before the month ends, Venus enters Capricorn on Jan. 23, and some of the uneasiness you were feeling emotionally at the beginning of the month is shifting for you, and you will be feeling more ease and dedication in love.
AQUARIUS
January is all about honoring your time and energy and speaking from the heart, Aquarius. The Sun is in your 12th house for most of the month before it enters your sign, and you are moving through a transition in your life, letting go of your perspective of what was, and seeing things clearer. The New Moon on the 11th will be in this area of your house as well, and this is a good time to set your intentions for the healing in your life and to allow your heart time to reflect and renew.
Aquarius Season officially begins on Jan. 20, and it is your time to shine and thrive. You are walking into this season feeling especially empowered, with Pluto entering back into your sign on the same day as well. With Pluto and the Sun now in your sign, it’s about choosing yourself right now, and about loving yourself through this process of growth you are in. Remember what a powerhouse you are this month.
PISCES
January is about exploring your options and opening your mind to love. There is a lot of movement in your life this month, but you are also doing a lot of contemplating on the new doors that are opening for you now. Make decisions from the heart and the head, and balance your need for clarity with your desire for hope. The New Moon on Jan. 11 will be happening in an area of your chart having to do with manifestation, and this is a good time to dream up some new blessings in your life.
Before the month ends, Venus will be in this manifestation house as well, and you are leaving January walking on more solid ground in love after the journey you were moving through at the beginning of the month of contemplation. The Full Moon on Jan. 25 shifts the focus to your work life, and this is a good time to experience a breakthrough in the workplace. Find balance between everything you want to juggle this month and choose what matters most to you now, Pisces.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole